money problems in paradise...

[Karee 4,190]

I am not saying is your case but i notice here that a lot but a LOT of women from some Countries as soon they start dating the american citizen they start sending money to pay the girl food,cellphone,school,clothes etc...how did they survive before finding the guy with blue passport????I can understand if your wife is waiting to get the visa and became unemployed but I saw here in the VJ people dating just a few months or just engaged and started sending money.People need to make sure their partners are in the relationship for the right reason.In your case I would not give more than 2k.Today was her brother, maybe tomorrow might be her mother,father,her niece,nephew....How sure are you that the guy in the picture is her brother? I am just saying...We see here almost every week in the VJ people scammed.I handled hundreds of case that the beneficiary got in the USA and after 7 days,30 days,60days just vanished.

I've seen it with alot of Thai cases, some here on VJ, and some not. They don't even bother coming to the U.S. They keep getting money sent all the way up to the interview and then bail out. I'd say the vast majority are not like this though. The majority are well intentioned and not scammers.

My wife's parents are rice farmers near the border with Cambodia. They're pretty poor. I think they've asked for money twice in the 4 years my wife has been here. Like $100 each time. I don't mind that at all. Especially since I never paid the Sin Sot (Thai Dowry) like most pay. We didn't have the traditional Thai marriage. The Army had a coup in Thailand in 2006 and changed the visa rules. If we didn't get married in Thailand, I would have been deported from there.

The funny joke is do you think your wife married you for a green card? Answer, no I married her for a visa to stay in Thailand.

[actob99 156]

The funny joke is do you think your wife married you for a green card? Answer, no I married her for a visa to stay in Thailand.

SSSssssssshhhhh, or the RP work auth......

[kev_n_jena 89]

I am not saying is your case but i notice here that a lot but a LOT of women from some Countries as soon they start dating the american citizen they start sending money to pay the girl food,cellphone,school,clothes etc...how did they survive before finding the guy with blue passport????I can understand if your wife is waiting to get the visa and became unemployed but I saw here in the VJ people dating just a few months or just engaged and started sending money.People need to make sure their partners are in the relationship for the right reason.In your case I would not give more than 2k.Today was her brother, maybe tomorrow might be her mother,father,her niece,nephew....How sure are you that the guy in the picture is her brother? I am just saying...We see here almost every week in the VJ people scammed.I handled hundreds of case that the beneficiary got in the USA and after 7 days,30 days,60days just vanished.

Dating costs extra money, even internet dating in some cases. When Jena and I started chatting daily and speaking on the phone weekly, there was no way she could afford it without my help. I sent money for phone load, cafe fees and transportation to and from the cafe. It adds up when you do it every day. When we got farther along in the process I sent rent money so she could get a room of her own in the city for a few months. She was already sending 1/2 her paycheck to her parents before I met her. I couldn't ask her to stop doing that to afford the extra expenses she was incurring. Considering our salaries at the time, I think the way we handled it was appropriate.

Edited December 19, 2012 by kev_n_jena

[Laser1 63]

I don't know many people who would give 10k to their wives families in the US so how do you justify doing it for someone in the philippines?

Correct, especially not for an adult brother's motorcycle accident. That would be totally unreasonable.

[neodragon0l 6]

My father was diagnosed with colorectal cancer at the same time that my mom had a heart attack. My brother asked me to send $4000 for my father's surgery and I sent $0. I was already paying for my mom's expenses and I'm not wiling to send money to somebody who abandoned us for another woman 2 decades ago. Anyways, when they found out that I won't be sending money, they contacted the hospital's billing department and applied for financial assistance. The bill went down from $4000 to $1000 because they found a pro-bono doctor and he stayed in a ward instead of a private suite. Half of the $1000 bill came from a donation from the Charity Sweeptakes Office. My father's mistress fell in line for several hours in order to apply for aid which was approved. The rest of the money came from his inheritance. It didn't take long for him to come up with a solution for his problem. Had I given the money for the surgery, I would also be asked to send my half-siblings to school and etc.

Good post.

[hellINTIM 9]

Good post.

but cancer is different than accident....

he said above the brother might have facial construction ( sound fishy but ok). it might be just big scratch in his face and they said they already need facial construction..

he might have metal bone replacement .. thats another kind of case too... metal stainless is not cheap..

[ca_babe 129]

but cancer is different than accident....

he said above the brother might have facial construction ( sound fishy but ok). it might be just big scratch in his face and they said they already need facial construction..

he might have metal bone replacement .. thats another kind of case too... metal stainless is not cheap..

Filipinos are survivors. If we weren't, we would be extinct by now. We always will come up with a solution even without the Kano bailout! We're better than Lehman Brothers.

[Hank_ 9,174]

hmm ...

with a little help from your friends...

http://histclo.com/essay/war/ww2/camp/pac/phil/lib-luz.html

[rlogan 2,036]

Dating costs extra money, even internet dating in some cases. When Jena and I started chatting daily and speaking on the phone weekly, there was no way she could afford it without my help. I sent money for phone load, cafe fees and transportation to and from the cafe. It adds up when you do it every day. When we got farther along in the process I sent rent money so she could get a room of her own in the city for a few months. She was already sending 1/2 her paycheck to her parents before I met her. I couldn't ask her to stop doing that to afford the extra expenses she was incurring. Considering our salaries at the time, I think the way we handled it was appropriate.

Sure. Mine was working as a nanny and sari-sari store cashier and sending money to her family. I sent her back home to go to college. So it was reasonable to replace her lost income. But this was after having lived with her for several months in the Philippines already. The chances of getting scammed are far higher in an internet relationship. They also learned from me living with them that I get the receipts. She scanned and emailed them to me. Trust but verify.

Our poster doesn't seem to think clarifying dollars vs pesos is worth the incredible extra effort of typing one more letter. Eg $4100 vs P4100 sent for Christmas. We sent P2250.

Right on ca_babe. One thing a lot of first-timers experience is that after you "solve" a crisis by sending money there's another crisis at your feet before they even have time to say "thank you". We teach them to do this by saying "yes" to emergencies. You'll have nothing but emergencies from then on.

[neodragon0l 6]

but cancer is different than accident....

he said above the brother might have facial construction ( sound fishy but ok). it might be just big scratch in his face and they said they already need facial construction..

he might have metal bone replacement .. thats another kind of case too... metal stainless is not cheap..

That's why I agree with ca_babe. I have seen Filipinos survive anything.

Whether it is cancer or an accident, I err towards not giving. I might sound selfish, but it starts a behavior one should not condone: 10k pesos or 10k dollars. Unless I happen to be there and actually talked to the doctor, then I might sympathize, change my mind and give a little: even 10k pesos is a lot.

Another good post is someone saying, have a conversation with your loved one. You have to set this in stone, or you will be working three jobs for someone's extended family.

This applies to Kano and Filipinos abroad. US is not the land of milk and honey. We just look good in pictures. OP has been warned.

Edited December 20, 2012 by neodragon0l

[hellINTIM 9]

That's why I agree with ca_babe. I have seen Filipinos survive anything.

Whether it is cancer or an accident, I err towards not giving. I might sound selfish, but it starts a behavior one should not condone: 10k pesos or 10k dollars. Unless I happen to be there and actually talked to the doctor, then I might sympathize, change my mind and give a little: even 10k pesos is a lot.

Another good post is someone saying, have a conversation with your loved one. You have to set this in stone, or you will be working three jobs for someone's extended family.

This applies to Kano and Filipinos abroad. US is not the land of milk and honey. We just look good in pictures. OP has been warned.

Ummm yah dude have u tried to read our earlier conversation ???? Hmmmm! Yah exactly .

[hellINTIM 9]

Filipinos are survivors. If we weren't, we would be extinct by now. We always will come up with a solution even without the Kano bailout! We're better than Lehman Brothers.

Lol , ummmm that's what exactly I said earlier in my post . Hmmmm read read read

[kev_n_jena 89]

Sure. Mine was working as a nanny and sari-sari store cashier and sending money to her family. I sent her back home to go to college. So it was reasonable to replace her lost income. But this was after having lived with her for several months in the Philippines already. The chances of getting scammed are far higher in an internet relationship. They also learned from me living with them that I get the receipts. She scanned and emailed them to me. Trust but verify.

Our poster doesn't seem to think clarifying dollars vs pesos is worth the incredible extra effort of typing one more letter. Eg $4100 vs P4100 sent for Christmas. We sent P2250.

Right on ca_babe. One thing a lot of first-timers experience is that after you "solve" a crisis by sending money there's another crisis at your feet before they even have time to say "thank you". We teach them to do this by saying "yes" to emergencies. You'll have nothing but emergencies from then on.

I was replying to sandranj, kind of off topic I know.

As far as emergencies go, we've had our share but nothing major. We were also sending a small amount monthly for the first couple years until her Dad finally found work. We've also bought 2 pedicabs, a well, and a CR. A lot of that money came from my wife's job when she was working. We send a lot less since Kyle was born.

She sent about P15,000 this Christmas I think.

[rlogan 2,036]

I was replying to sandranj, kind of off topic I know.

As far as emergencies go, we've had our share but nothing major. We were also sending a small amount monthly for the first couple years until her Dad finally found work. We've also bought 2 pedicabs, a well, and a CR. A lot of that money came from my wife's job when she was working. We send a lot less since Kyle was born.

She sent about P15,000 this Christmas I think.

Sorry! I may have given the impression in the second part of my post about the 4100 that I was responding to you. I was agreeing with your approach in the first part of my post. The second part was regarding the OP giving 4100 for Christmas, although it was unclear if he meant for the operation too.

4100 is either extraordinary, if it is dollars, or ho-hum if pesos.

You guys seem to have it figured out just fine.

[Caryh 5,206]

I was replying to sandranj, kind of off topic I know.

As far as emergencies go, we've had our share but nothing major. We were also sending a small amount monthly for the first couple years until her Dad finally found work. We've also bought 2 pedicabs, a well, and a CR. A lot of that money came from my wife's job when she was working. We send a lot less since Kyle was born.

She sent about P15,000 this Christmas I think.

Our only emergencies have been small in the past year. Bought momma new teeth when she had them pulled because of the pain. Its good seeing momma smile again. Restocked momma's sari sari when my brother in-law and his wife slowly kept getting things and not paying for it, when he was back from his seaman's job and ran out of money. It wasn't much, but it lets momma keep her dignity by supporting herself. Momma doesn't like it when other people support her. And sent $100 US when that same brother in-law was stuck broke in Manila while he was waiting to go back to work.

For Christmas we spent at least P15,000 on the gifts we sent. It was the second balikbayan box of the year. Plus there were a number of small Express Mail boxes with shirts and such over the year, for birthdays and what not. It shocks me how much my wife can stuff into one of them. We definitely send more in gifts each year than we do for emergencies.