money problems in paradise...

[TripleG 3]

(Steve here) As a registered nurse (RN) by trade, frankly, I'm conufsed. (As was pigmonk) Few surgeries in RP cost 420,000PHP. Triple bypass (CABG) does cost about 840,000PHP and the price is similar for a kidney transplant, and that's at St. Luke's probably the highest cost hospital in RP. And for the person who stated that heart surgery cost US$40,000 well, I remember Juliet saying no to a fella as we got off the ferry between Cebu and Bohol and when I said: "Why'd you tell the cabbie no?" Well, she said "He wanted 400 peso for the fare, we'll walk around the corner and it'll be 120 peso", so I don't doubt you, but frankly whoever paid that much probably didn't need to because it should have cost one half or one quarter that much. See: http://www.phc.gov.ph/services/treatment.php or google using keywords "cabg triple-bypass and philippine cost"

I concur Juliet and Steve, back in 2005 I had back surgery double lamindectomy on L-4, and L-5 at Asian Hospital in Alabang. Doctors fees 250K, hospital fees and other incidentals for 4 days 30K. While walking around hospital I ran into another American walking around that just had triple bypass surgery and was there for a follow up visit. I asked him how much the surgery set him back and he said around 16,000 USD all total. So thats pretty close to 840K PHP considering it was 48 to 1 back then.

On a different note, my wifes cousin's daughter spent about 16 days in the hospital here recently in Cebu for a blood disease treatment. Forget the name of the disease but googled it and it was serious. They needed 20k php for the first round of treatment, so I sent 40K php. The husband of my cousin-in-law is a hard working dude, works for Cerres bus liner making only about 260 php a day, he sometimes works 14 days in a row, 14 hr days so I didn't mind sending the money. I didn't even ask him to pay me back. He payed me back anyways as soon as his Govt. assistance loan came through. He's a good dude. That scenario doesn't happen very often, but it does happen.

10K USD for motorcycle accident surgery does seem a little fishy. I guess if the dude had multiple broken bones, fractured skull, internal injuries etc. etc. it might be possible to add up to that amount in a private hospital. Public hospital sounds like the way to go for these folks.

Good Luck,

Wyatt

[rlogan 2,036]

Restocked momma's sari sari when my brother in-law and his wife slowly kept getting things and not paying for it,

We see this a lot, and as a matter of fact my wife's sister is running a Sari-Sari store with support from a foreign boyfriend right now. It isn't our business to interfere but this is the most likely outcome: letting people take things on credit and letting family or friends just take things without paying. At a minumum though what happens frequently is the family spends the sales revenue instead of buying new stock so the foreigner continually buys the stock and the family keeps the sales proceeds. In that case it isn't a business, just a money-laundering exercise. The business is operating at a net loss because of pilfering and bad credit, in which case it is less expensive to just send them money so you aren't subsidizing the whole neighborhood.

I'm not saying you are in this situation, but it is a good thing to be discussing on this subforum.

[bxman 13]

Yeah i agree with tin and mike.. Just help based to what you can.. Im filipina too, as much as i can i dont involved my hubby with my family's problem.. 'coz of the reason that I dun want my family to think that my hubby is an ATM that can give money when ever they need.. and to be dependent just like how they are dependent to me before and its gonna be pain in the ####..

GOOD attitude!!

You sound alot like my fiancee

We will help but they cannot make us their 911 for any & all situations

[Jack&Maria 5]

10K is alooot of money!!!help a bit but not too much!Like my fiance he helps every month but just 100 or 200 usd..but not 10k in USD..my fiance is not atm!!u should both talk about money matters like me and my fiance we talk about money..cause if u have plans to settle down with this person, you both need to talk about how your life would be after marriage..Life isn't a bed of roses at all!tell her that you can't give 10k usd!be honest about your feelings towards the situation your fiancee has now!10k is really alot!I would really spend the 10K for the downpayment of a house me and my fiance would love to have!I would suggest to talk to your fiance!Being honest is not bad at all!Good luck!

[MaureenPhleb 0]

I've seen a few posts that mention it's normal for fiances family to ask for money in the Philippines when emergencies come up. I had already sat down and explained to my fiances family that I will not be sending any money back, that my fiance can send back 100% of whatever money she makes. I really didn't think anything that major would come up, but I was sadly mistaken. Her brother got into a motorcycle accident and when I heard the cost of the surgery I knew it was pretty damn bad. I never thought it would be hard saying I can't send money but it was. I'm wondering if anyone has found other ways to deal with this kind of situation? I don't know many people who would give 10k to their wives families in the US so how do you justify doing it for someone in the philippines? It feels like either way it's a bad decision, being a crutch can hurt as much as help. I understand their daily life and general stuff, but I still don't understand how loans work or how you have to wait for surgery until you pay for it all. I guess it's all a bigger dilemma than I originally thought it would be.

I hope her brother will get to feeling better. I feel sad about him being hurt and as well as for you who is basically helping them, as far as the financial aspect is concerned. I dont know about other cultures, but in the phils. as I speak for myself, being a pinay. It is very common for families who are in poverty to depend on other family members for help, which s sad. And they think money is so abundant that it just grow on trees here in the United States. There will never be any way to make them understand that people here do work hard in order to live and pay bills. I hope things will work out for you and your fiance. And that her love for you will inspire her to have the courage to explain to her family that there should be a limit on how much she can help because you both are preparing for your future together as a couple, coz by the time she gets here it will cost you even more. And a lot of adjustments on her part as well. So good luck to u both!