Now what will my abandoned Brother-in-law do?

[Jahwaree 83]

Wow wow wee

[ValerieA 350]

OP, really sorry that people feel they should come and make judgmental comments. Ignore them. Unfortunately, I don't see much of a way out for your brother-in-law. He can't adjust status without his wife, until his son becomes of age. Another problem - if he leaves, he will have a ban, looks like 10 years. So, he leaves now, and the ban will be over by the time his son if of age. Until then, his son would have to visit him in Mexico, he won't be allowed in the US.

[Jahwaree 83]

OP, really sorry that people feel they should come and make judgmental comments. Ignore them. Unfortunately, I don't see much of a way out for your brother-in-law. He can't adjust status without his wife, until his son becomes of age. Another problem - if he leaves, he will have a ban, looks like 10 years. So, he leaves now, and the ban will be over by the time his son if of age. Until then, his son would have to visit him in Mexico, he won't be allowed in the US.

Amazing how some seem venemous in words ...Thank U....realistic truths can be given as U do without the venom.

thats what the board is for.

[amykathleen2005 441]

Since when is pointing out illegalities judgmental?

[jortega999 4]

This sad tale is about my wife's brother. I may not have made this point clear, he was already married to his US wife in Texas, then he came here to live with her. They were planning on filing the AOS when they settled down and did not wait to do the K1. They have never made good decisions during this whole ordeal. I know it wasn't the proper way of doing things, but they did have a legitimate marriage and he was on a B1\b2 "Laser" visa, since he lived in a border town and came across every weekend to Texas. I understand that he did not do things the right way, but like many others, they could not hold their horses and wanted to be together. Love makes you do some crazy things. Of course we all told them time and again to get the process started, but his wife was never financially responsible enough to keep the money for the filing fees. On top of that, when she would have things together, she would spend it on her teen daughter, like paying for a Quienceañera instead of his filing fees.

It makes me wonder if she was afraid that if she got him his green card then he would leave here. It is weird that she never got him legalized when she had a baby with him and has to work two jobs to support her family. You would think that she would want him to get him a Social Security number and get him working. I have gotten a better picture of what happened, as well. Basically, the situation came to a head and he was told to leave by his wife. The police were actually called in so that his wife could get some things out of the house to go away for the night while he moved out. So, there was no arrest for domestic violence, but his wife did tell the police that she wanted to be escorted while she removed her things. At that point, she told him to be out of their apartment by morning in front of the police. Since then there was another confrontation between the wife and her siblings and parents, with the latter siding with my brother-in-law. I don't see any chance of reconciliation in the near future.

I have told him that he only has a choice of reconciling with his wife or going back to Mexico. But since he is from Northern Mexico, he is afraid to go back there because of all the drug war violence happening. I understand the criticism that he is a big boy and that he didn't do things the right way, but there are children involved. His stepchildren love him and see him as their dad, just as his son does. This is just a sad situation.

Thank you for your advice. I will let him know what the community says.

[jortega999 4]

So he came here with the intent to marry and adjust status. Visa fraud. And now he wants advice from people who do things legally?

No, he was already married to her prior to coming here to live with her and adjust. His wife was a widow and had two kids. So he thought it would be best to come right away and help her out. I guess he just ended up being her undocumented Manny.

[Boiler 46,143]

He does not have to go back to Northern Mexico.

[mymarriagejourney 113]

No, he was already married to her prior to coming here to live with her and adjust. His wife was a widow and had two kids. So he thought it would be best to come right away and help her out. I guess he just ended up being her undocumented Manny.

What she means is that it is illegal to come to the US on a tourist visa with the intention to adjust status. A tourist visa is a non-immigrant visa, so it's not allowed to be used with the intention of adjusting status.

However, I am very sorry that people have responded to you so critically and rudely and judgmentally. There are right and wrong ways to answer questions and give information. Most lay people don't know immigration laws, and I'm sure your brother-in-law didn't intend to do something illegal. I'm always shocked at the bitterness shown on this board.

[Noah Lot 391]

Oddly, no one ever seems to violate our immigration laws 'intentionally'...it's always someone else's fault...or the borders were closed, or the buses stopped running, or it was raining, or whatever...no one ever owns up to their lack of responsibility....there is always an excuse, each more feeble than the last....which is why COs should clamp down HARD when it comes time to issue (or deny) a visa application...Congress should end all AOS except from K1s, eliminate all waivers, and thus remove all incentive to thumb noses at our rules by marrying some American citizen...

[Boiler 46,143]

What she means is that it is illegal to come to the US on a tourist visa with the intention to adjust status. A tourist visa is a non-immigrant visa, so it's not allowed to be used with the intention of adjusting status.

However, I am very sorry that people have responded to you so critically and rudely and judgmentally. There are right and wrong ways to answer questions and give information. Most lay people don't know immigration laws, and I'm sure your brother-in-law didn't intend to do something illegal. I'm always shocked at the bitterness shown on this board.

Invariably as a visitor you are asked the purpose of your visit.

How likely do you think it is he replied to stay and adjust status?

[amykathleen2005 441]

Invariably as a visitor you are asked the purpose of your visit.

How likely do you think it is he replied to stay and adjust status?

Exactly. Do you also ever notice that the people who are so interested in defending others who AOS (after apparently being dragged into the country, told to lie as to their intent and forced to stay at gun point) are the ones that AOSed themselves? There are legitimate reasons to AOS in my opinion (such as a student who finds love). But it seems like there must be a surplus of super spontaneous people on this site who change their mind to stay a day after arriving as a tourist. What a coincidence!

[mymarriagejourney 113]

My husband adjusted from student status a year after being in school as intended, so this doesn't apply to my case.

[jortega999 4]

Despite my newbie status and lack of timeline, which got lost in transition somehow, I have been visiting this site since I brought my wife here from Mexico in 2001, when it was referred to as the Little Brown Envelop site. We went through the whole unnerving process to get her a Permanent Residency and ultimately, U.S. Citizenship. I would usually find very kind people on this forum that would offer scholarly advice based on their experience. But now I find that this site has become unbelievably judgmental, sarcastic, critical and reflects the type of polarized discussions that are prevalent on political forums. Congratulations immigrants! You are becoming ugly Americans. I would hope that your native lands could offer this country a fresh, positive perspective, but it seems that some of the people here only offer the same nasty rhetoric that has poisoned the soul of this country. Here is some advice for immigrants. Please don't turn into another ugly American. You know, the American tourists that you would despise in your home country because of their inflated sense of entitlement who would yell because they couldn't get a Coke on ice.

[Love's JAA 100]

This is why planning to AOS is a dangerous idea and I wish people would not do this for their own protection, same deal with the K1 immigrants. The best way for an intending immigrant to protect themselves is to come in on a CR1 or IR1.

It sounds like he is in a sticky pickle and will need a lawyer. Perhaps someone else can chime in, but I'm not sure he qualifies under VAWA.

What are you saying about K-1 visa immigrants?

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

What are you saying about K-1 visa immigrants?

I'm saying that for the immigrant's benefit, it might be best to do a CR1 because the K1 relies on the spouse adjusting status and as you can see if you take a look around this forum, some spouses withhold that for whatever reason and there is not a whole lot of recourse for the immigrant. IMO, the K1 process needs to be amended to protect immigrants against that.