piers what's his name?

[Penny Lane 8,159]

That's when you and your buddies catch the culprits off school grounds and give them the ####### kicking of their life. We used to use "fish beaters". They look like small wooden baseball bats that are used for knocking out Halibut and other large fish. They would fit right under the seat of your truck. They also came in handy at keggers when things got out of control.

That's what we should be teaching children. Someone bothering you? Beat them up.

[^_^ 5,021]

I'm not arguing that. It's a skill all kids need, but is easier said than done. I think it's also putting too much of the blame on the victims, rather than the bullies. In a perfect world, nobody would care about what anyone else thought about them (especially as children) but children ALSO wouldn't abuse and harass students and get away with it.

blame really isn't important.

the fact is that there are bullies everywhere. you don't think adults get bullied? in the workplace? in the jury deliberation room? in the freakin store checkout line two days before christmas? people are aholes and teaching your children that they have to either run to a teacher to whine about it or start a fight is wrong. those are both options but neither of those options are correct for every situation. sometimes you go complain when you think that's where your leverage is. sometimes you push back and make the bully look weak. sometimes (90% of the time, IMO) you do nothing. you walk it off.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

[quote name=' timestamp='1355425697' post='5870108]

blame really isn't important.

the fact is that there are bullies everywhere. you don't think adults get bullied? in the workplace? in the jury deliberation room? in the freakin store checkout line two days before christmas? people are aholes and teaching your children that they have to either run to a teacher to whine about it or start a fight is wrong. those are both options but neither of those options are correct for every situation. sometimes you go complain when you think that's where your leverage is. sometimes you push back and make the bully look weak. sometimes (90% of the time, IMO) you do nothing. you walk it off.

As an adult, learning to walk it off is much easier than doing it as a child. You don't see adults killing themselves, generally, due to something mean someone said about them. But as a kid, it's different. You're facing these bullies on a daily basis in a place you can't avoid (school) and then you go home and these same bullies are harassing you on the internet. You tell a teacher, you're a snitch. You tell your parents, you're a baby. You ignore it, you're weak. And fighting isn't the right answer either. Some of these kids aren't having a safe place to go to get away from it all. When you're in school (elementary or high school) ... that pretty much defines you. You think life = what people think of you. No matter how many times people tell you that's not the case and that when you're out of high school, that ###### won't matter ...

Unfortunately, parents aren't as in tune with what's going on in their children's lives as they should be. The parents of these bullies should know about it, the parents of the victims should know about it and unfortunately, when they do, sometimes it's too late.

Edited December 13, 2012 by Evylin

[^_^ 5,021]

As an adult, learning to walk it off is much easier than doing it as a child. You don't see adults killing themselves, generally, due to something mean someone said about them. But as a kid, it's different. You're facing these bullies on a daily basis in a place you can't avoid (school) and then you go home and these same bullies are harassing you on the internet. You tell a teacher, you're a snitch. You tell your parents, you're a baby. You ignore it, you're weak. And fighting isn't the right answer either. Some of these kids aren't having a safe place to go to get away from it all. When you're in school (elementary or high school) ... that pretty much defines you. You think life = what people think of you. No matter how many times people tell you that's not the case and that when you're out of high school, that ###### won't matter ...

Yes, and that's why education takes as long as it does. There's no magic switch that you can flip and "solve" the problem of a child being percieved as a good target by bullies. That child will be bullied and over the course of years with the right support and right reinforcement they will learn to deal with it. Painful childhood? Sure. Lots of us have gone through that. It's no big deal (unless you have access to daddy's gun and do something stupid...)

[Penny Lane 8,159]

I was never bullied as a kid, I guess I was lucky. I knew a kid who was though, and because of it, he's gone. And there's no easy explanation for it, but I'm not going to sit here and think that he just needed thicker skin. He needed a support system, an escape, and he had access to neither.

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

As an adult, learning to walk it off is much easier than doing it as a child. You don't see adults killing themselves, generally, due to something mean someone said about them. But as a kid, it's different. You're facing these bullies on a daily basis in a place you can't avoid (school) and then you go home and these same bullies are harassing you on the internet. You tell a teacher, you're a snitch. You tell your parents, you're a baby. You ignore it, you're weak. And fighting isn't the right answer either. Some of these kids aren't having a safe place to go to get away from it all. When you're in school (elementary or high school) ... that pretty much defines you. You think life = what people think of you. No matter how many times people tell you that's not the case and that when you're out of high school, that ###### won't matter ...

Unfortunately, parents aren't as in tune with what's going on in their children's lives as they should be. The parents of these bullies should know about it, the parents of the victims should know about it and unfortunately, when they do, sometimes it's too late.

I am glad I grew up without the internet and social media, I remember the things that Bad Daddy is talking about as well as how we handled bullies or just stress in high school, now you can't get away from them, there was a young girl that killed herself after months and months or torment from bullies at school, she even transfered schools out of the state and they still found her on the internet. Heartbreaking story, I wish I could find it and post it here.

[Usui Takumi 1,562]

[quote name=' timestamp='1355426118' post='5870121]

Yes, and that's why education takes as long as it does. There's no magic switch that you can flip and "solve" the problem of a child being percieved as a good target by bullies. That child will be bullied and over the course of years with the right support and right reinforcement they will learn to deal with it. Painful childhood? Sure. Lots of us have gone through that. It's no big deal (unless you have access to daddy's gun and do something stupid...)

I think in the 21st Century it can be pretty simple. These days police will charge minors with assault etc in a school...it seems logical to skip school administration all together.

Edited December 13, 2012 by Sousuke

[Penny Lane 8,159]

I am glad I grew up without the internet and social media, I remember the things that Bad Daddy is talking about as well as how we handled bullies or just stress in high school, now you can't get away from them, there was a young girl that killed herself after months and months or torment from bullies at school, she even transfered schools out of the state and they still found her on the internet. Heartbreaking story, I wish I could find it and post it here.

Agreed. Sometimes the victims do the right thing and remove themselves from a situation if they can, but when they're following you into your home and into your personal life away from school, I can see how it would get to be too much.

[JohnR! 5,495]

That's when you and your buddies catch the culprits off school grounds and give them the ####### kicking of their life. We used to use "fish beaters". They look like small wooden baseball bats that are used for knocking out Halibut and other large fish. They would fit right under the seat of your truck. They also came in handy at keggers when things got out of control.

It is so easy to show courage when one is bedecked with a weapon against an unarmed opponent... :rofl: :rofl:

[^_^ 5,021]

I was never bullied as a kid, I guess I was lucky. I knew a kid who was though, and because of it, he's gone. And there's no easy explanation for it, but I'm not going to sit here and think that he just needed thicker skin. He needed a support system, an escape, and he had access to neither.

i dont know what to tell you. i was bullied a lot. plenty. im male but shorter than most girls. and i used to be very skinny. i was ~100 lbs when i graduated high school. and i graduated from an all boys school in a small town in india. not even an urban area. very backward. very conservative. bullied by students and by teachers. so i know what its like and im not going to pretend i dont feel any sympathy for your friend. but i will make the larger point that i really really think the "anti-bullying" movement in vogue today is making the huge mistake (IMO) in promoting the message that when you get bullied you have to go tell someone and that violence is never the answer. in reality, my reality, violence sometimes was the answer. telling authority figures very often was counter productive. in reality, how you deal with each situation depends on too many things to simply formulate a catch-all answer that fits on a pamphlet. but ... simple messages that fit on pamphlets is how they do things in schools these days.

Edited December 13, 2012 by ^_^

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

It is so easy to show courage when one is bedecked with a weapon against an unarmed opponent... :rofl: :rofl:

Yes because three seniors kicking the ####### out of a 14 year old freshman for straying off the yellow piece of tape on the floor that ran past their lockers was showing lots of courage. Now that freshman could have taken his lumps and forget about it all, or find those same guys at the next kegger and bust out their teeth with the help of your cousin and a few friends. You either have a set or you don't.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Yes because three seniors kicking the ####### out of a 14 year old freshman for straying off the yellow piece of tape on the floor that ran past their lockers was showing lots of courage. Now that freshman could have taken his lumps and forget about it all, or find those same guys at the next kegger and bust out their teeth with the help of your cousin and a few friends. You either have a set or you don't.

The whole "solve all your problems with violence" lesson isn't exactly a good thing to learn.

[^_^ 5,021]

violence has its place in the overall toolset of things-to-do.

[Usui Takumi 1,562]

I was bullied a few times, cornered twice. In both cases I felt the need to defend myself. In both cases I was suspended along with the attacker, but with a lesser term. I hate to sound partisan here, but it was my first taste of "liberal justice"...and I didn't like it.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Yes because three seniors kicking the ####### out of a 14 year old freshman for straying off the yellow piece of tape on the floor that ran past their lockers was showing lots of courage. Now that freshman could have taken his lumps and forget about it all, or find those same guys at the next kegger and bust out their teeth with the help of your cousin and a few friends. You either have a set or you don't.

That is a matter for the police.