Two year separation required, how can I remove condition from my GC?

[Jacob Richard 1]

Hi dear VJers,

I married my USC wife about one and half year ago. I got my conditional green card five months ago.

The marriage is a failure. My wife treats me like garbage. She forbids me to have friends. She forbids me to communicate with my family back home in every way. No emails. No phone calls. No postal letters (she's worried that I will send money to them). She works and she keeps all the money she makes to herself, and at the same time she insists on controlling all the money I make, which I gave in and let her do. We disagree on almost everything, just everything. She criticizes what I like. And I have to tolerate what she's crazy about.

Lately she's started locking me out when I come home late from work or kicking me out of the bed, or calling me names, or taking the car keys when I need to go to church.

I loved her. But the craziness has gone too far and things've changed. We have started to wish terrible things to each other.

I want to get out of this. I want divorce. Yet, my wife won't sign anything. She doesn't want to save the marriage. Yet, she knows if I divorce her I will have to file for removal of condition on my green card with a waiver. And the application package must include the divorce decree. In the state where we live the 2 year separation is required if the couple don't agree in writing to the divorce.

That is to say my conditional green card will be long expired before I can get the divorce decree.

Please advise me on what to do!

Thank you so very much!

P/S: The marriage is irretrievably broken. We can't work on it any more. And I wouldn't want to. I feel humiliated and tired. It's sad. But it happened.

Edited December 12, 2012 by Jacob Richard

[VanessaTony 3,567]

File for divorce.

When your window opens file your ROC with the waiver.

You will get an NOA1 extending your status for 1 year.

You will get an RFE for the divorce decree.

You won't be able to submit the decree on time so your ROC will be denied.

You will go before an immigration judge who will order ROC to be on hold until you can get the decree.

Before your extension letter expires make an infopass and get an I-551 stamp in your passport

Once you get the decree and send it in, they will process your ROC.

[Jacob Richard 1]

File for divorce.

When your window opens file your ROC with the waiver.

You will get an NOA1 extending your status for 1 year.

You will get an RFE for the divorce decree.

You won't be able to submit the decree on time so your ROC will be denied.

You will go before an immigration judge who will order ROC to be on hold until you can get the decree.

Before your extension letter expires make an infopass and get an I-551 stamp in your passport

Once you get the decree and send it in, they will process your ROC.

Thank you so much for your guidance.

By the way, I'm seriously thinking about moving out of the state. I'm quite positive that my wife will not leave me alone even after we separate or divorce. So I just want to go to somewhere where she can't reach me.

Supposed I move to another state, can I file for divorce there? If I move to a state (and become a resident) where the 2-year separation rule doesn't apply, will the divorce go faster or I will still have to play by the rules of the state where we got married?

[VanessaTony 3,567]

You would need to become a resident of that state before you could file divorce from that state, and you wouldn't have to obey the rules of where you married, but she could try and fight the divorce on the grounds that you moved out of the state to circumvent the divorce rules (which isn't allowed).

I suggest you speak to a divorce attorney who will be able to advise you on your personal situation.

[Jacob Richard 1]

You would need to become a resident of that state before you could file divorce from that state, and you wouldn't have to obey the rules of where you married, but she could try and fight the divorce on the grounds that you moved out of the state to circumvent the divorce rules (which isn't allowed).

I suggest you speak to a divorce attorney who will be able to advise you on your personal situation.

Yes. Thank you, Vanessa&Tony.

I could never imagine a marriage would turn so sour and spouses could become so nasty. It was hard enough to enter the marriage, and now trying to get out of it (when it doesn't work out) proves even harder.

Edited December 13, 2012 by Jacob Richard

[Villanelle 4,122]

I have never heard of a state with such a law.

I think you are terribly confused. Some states do allow for- after two years of being separated, one party can file for divorce, and the other party has no grounds to oppose it anymore because of how long they have been separated for.

But every single state allows you to file for divorce when ever you wish. The other party can oppose it all they want, but the bottom line is- the court CAN NOT FORCE YOU TO REMAIN MARRIED. So what does 'opposing' mean? It means they can challenge the grounds the divorce is granted on (irreconcilable differences, adultery,fraud,abuse) they can challenge distribution of marital property, and spousal support.

After two years of living separately the court would assume that you no longer have any assets together, therefore, theres nothing to contest in a divorce, so you would be able to file and the other party would not be given a chance to 'oppose' because theres nothing to oppose.

There is absolutely no reason why you can not file for divorce now. So what if your spouse does not want a divorce?? Lots of people get served with a divorce and its one sided. It does not matter. YOU file, stating you no longer wish to be married to her as of X date. If she refuses to respond, the divorce will be granted on the grounds that she refused to respond. If she chooses to respond, then she can oppose certain things in the divorce like the distribution of property and the terms of it but thats about it. (but she certainly can insist the court dismiss your case and leave you married)

[Caryh 5,206]

Sounds like they live in Pennsylvania, they have pretty weird divorce laws. He can file for divorce, and she can consent to the divorce or not in 90 days. If she refuses to consent to the divorce, the judge can give them a legal separation. After two years he can say he still wants the divorce and it will be granted without her consent. If he wishes to divorce faster without her consent to the divorce, he needs to get a lawyer and prove why he is blameless and she is to blame for the failed marriage to get the divorce. Some of the abusive treatment he describes could make this possible, but we only have his view on why the marriage is failing and there is always two sides to that. Nothing would stop him from filing, but how long it takes will depend on which route he takes and how she responds. I'd wonder if she knows this and is trying to prevent him from removing conditions so she won't be on the hook for the affidavit of support, or is hoping he'll end up deported.

I have never heard of a state with such a law.

I think you are terribly confused. Some states do allow for- after two years of being separated, one party can file for divorce, and the other party has no grounds to oppose it anymore because of how long they have been separated for.

But every single state allows you to file for divorce when ever you wish. The other party can oppose it all they want, but the bottom line is- the court CAN NOT FORCE YOU TO REMAIN MARRIED. So what does 'opposing' mean? It means they can challenge the grounds the divorce is granted on (irreconcilable differences, adultery,fraud,abuse) they can challenge distribution of marital property, and spousal support.

After two years of living separately the court would assume that you no longer have any assets together, therefore, theres nothing to contest in a divorce, so you would be able to file and the other party would not be given a chance to 'oppose' because theres nothing to oppose.

There is absolutely no reason why you can not file for divorce now. So what if your spouse does not want a divorce?? Lots of people get served with a divorce and its one sided. It does not matter. YOU file, stating you no longer wish to be married to her as of X date. If she refuses to respond, the divorce will be granted on the grounds that she refused to respond. If she chooses to respond, then she can oppose certain things in the divorce like the distribution of property and the terms of it but thats about it. (but she certainly can insist the court dismiss your case and leave you married)

[JohnR! 5,495]

I loved her. But the craziness has gone too far and things've changed. We have started to wish terrible things to each other.

I want to get out of this. I want divorce. Yet, my wife won't sign anything. She doesn't want to save the marriage.

Thank you so very much!

P/S: The marriage is irretrievably broken. We can't work on it any more. And I wouldn't want to. I feel humiliated and tired. It's sad. But it happened.

Cut your loses. You can get a divorce even if she doesn't sign the papers or just pack your things and go back home. You need not go through this.

[Dave&Roza 748]

I'd wonder if she knows this and is trying to prevent him from removing conditions so she won't be on the hook for the affidavit of support, or is hoping he'll end up deported.

She signed the I-864 for him to get the 2-year GC, so she is on the hook until he satisifies the conditions spelled out in the I-864 form and divorce is not listed. Yes, she could be trying to get him deported by withholding her support for ROC, but there are ways around this--see post #2.

Good luck,

Dave

[Caryh 5,206]

She signed the I-864 for him to get the 2-year GC, so she is on the hook until he satisifies the conditions spelled out in the I-864 form and divorce is not listed. Yes, she could be trying to get him deported by withholding her support for ROC, but there are ways around this--see post #2.

Good luck,

Dave

I realized that actually, and really meant to write off the hook for support by trying to get him deported. Not enough coffee yet so my mind wandered and wrote it totally wrong Never underestimate what a soon to be ex will do, be it logical or not.

[Jacob Richard 1]

Yes, Caryh was right. We live in Pennsylvania.

It's not about the affidavit that she signed. She knows well that I will never do anything that she will have to pay for. I'm not the welfare type, and even if I wanted to be, I would not be eligible. But it's about her personality. When things are not in her way, she'll do anything do destroy the other person.

[Jacob Richard 1]

Yes, i know my soon-to-be ex will do anything, no matter how ridiculous it is, to destroy me. Yet, I'm talking about the law. What are the legal solutions to my situation. Vanessa&Tony gave great advice. I wonder if there are any other ideas that might help my case.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Yes, i know my soon-to-be ex will do anything, no matter how ridiculous it is, to destroy me. Yet, I'm talking about the law. What are the legal solutions to my situation. Vanessa&Tony gave great advice. I wonder if there are any other ideas that might help my case.

The advice Vanessa&Tony gave you is textbook correct. It can be stated in more words, but it cannot be stated better. What you've learned is an exact step-by-step guidance which you can take literally. If you have questions while doing one of the steps, post again. For now know that you'll file for divorce as soon as possible and submit your I-751 with a waiver once you enter the 90-day period. My personal advice here -- which is a slight variation from Vanessa&Tony's advice -- is to wait until you have reached about 14 to 10 days before your Green Card expires in order to buy time.

[Jacob Richard 1]

Thank you very much.

This is the information I got from my attorney. It sounds really scary. (I don't wish to spend the rest of my life trying to get out of this dysfunctional, short marriage.)

"Pennsylvania’s two no-fault grounds: Mutual Consent, and Irretrievable Breakdown. The first of these, Mutual Consent, absolutely requires that both you and your spouse sign documents agreeing to obtain a divorce decree some time after a mandatory waiting period has expired. As the name itself implies, either spouse can bring a Mutual Consent divorce process to a screeching halt simply by refusing to sign the consent forms.

A divorce decree based on the ground of Irretrievable Breakdown requires the court to decide that two things are true: first, that the marriage is irretrievably broken and second, that you and your spouse have been separated for two or more years. Many people in Pennsylvania mistakenly think that divorce is automatic after a separation has lasted for two years, but it is important for you to understand that where family law is concerned very little happens by itself in the court system.

Instead, once you have reached the second anniversary of your final separation, you can sign an affidavit stating the date on which you separated, and that the marriage is irretrievably broken. This paper must be filed with the court and served on your spouse, who then has a total of at least forty days either to deny a two-year separation, to deny that the marriage is irretrievably broken, or to claim economic relief from the court (such as alimony and property division). If your spouse has been properly served with all the necessary documents and then does nothing for a long enough time, the court will assume that your affidavit is true, and will grant your divorce decree shortly after you file the final documents asking for it.

Unfortunately, your spouse can still fight the divorce even after two years. If your husband or wife claims that the marriage is not irretrievably broken or that you have not yet been separated for two years, the court cannot agree with your affidavit without a hearing. This is true even in extreme cases. Many years ago, I handled a divorce for a woman (separated for more than two years) whose husband had been sentenced to serve a lengthy prison term for terrible crimes committed against his own family. When we served her husband with the divorce documents, he filed a response insisting that the marriage was not irretrievably broken. According to him, his wife did not really want a divorce… and the whole thing was the fault of the state of Pennsylvania for putting him in prison in the first place! We had to go before a judge just to prove that she wanted out of the marriage. We won, of course, but perhaps you can imagine my client’s resentment and frustration at having to face this final barrier."

[Caryh 5,206]

From what I've read, you actually want to file for divorce now and let your wife refuse to accept the divorce. The judge can then issue and legal separation notice. Two years after this, the wife has little or no case for saying the separation did not occur. She can still fight over assets, she can try to claim you got back together, but the issue of the marriage being irretrievably broken is no longer an issue and she can not fight the divorce on those grounds. There are actually three types of divorce in your state, two of them being no fault divorces. The mutual consent is one, and the two years legal separation without mutual consent is the other. The fighting over irretrievable breakdown is only if you want to attempt a faster divorce when one party refuses to consent to the divorce.

Thank you very much.

This is the information I got from my attorney. It sounds really scary. (I don't wish to spend the rest of my life trying to get out of this dysfunctional, short marriage.)

"Pennsylvania’s two no-fault grounds: Mutual Consent, and Irretrievable Breakdown. The first of these, Mutual Consent, absolutely requires that both you and your spouse sign documents agreeing to obtain a divorce decree some time after a mandatory waiting period has expired. As the name itself implies, either spouse can bring a Mutual Consent divorce process to a screeching halt simply by refusing to sign the consent forms.

A divorce decree based on the ground of Irretrievable Breakdown requires the court to decide that two things are true: first, that the marriage is irretrievably broken and second, that you and your spouse have been separated for two or more years. Many people in Pennsylvania mistakenly think that divorce is automatic after a separation has lasted for two years, but it is important for you to understand that where family law is concerned very little happens by itself in the court system.

Instead, once you have reached the second anniversary of your final separation, you can sign an affidavit stating the date on which you separated, and that the marriage is irretrievably broken. This paper must be filed with the court and served on your spouse, who then has a total of at least forty days either to deny a two-year separation, to deny that the marriage is irretrievably broken, or to claim economic relief from the court (such as alimony and property division). If your spouse has been properly served with all the necessary documents and then does nothing for a long enough time, the court will assume that your affidavit is true, and will grant your divorce decree shortly after you file the final documents asking for it.

Unfortunately, your spouse can still fight the divorce even after two years. If your husband or wife claims that the marriage is not irretrievably broken or that you have not yet been separated for two years, the court cannot agree with your affidavit without a hearing. This is true even in extreme cases. Many years ago, I handled a divorce for a woman (separated for more than two years) whose husband had been sentenced to serve a lengthy prison term for terrible crimes committed against his own family. When we served her husband with the divorce documents, he filed a response insisting that the marriage was not irretrievably broken. According to him, his wife did not really want a divorce… and the whole thing was the fault of the state of Pennsylvania for putting him in prison in the first place! We had to go before a judge just to prove that she wanted out of the marriage. We won, of course, but perhaps you can imagine my client’s resentment and frustration at having to face this final barrier."