Vent: husband is threatening me if I file for divorce

[jade_arb 3]

My marriage is pretty much over. We got married almost 5 years ago. We have a19 month old.

Unfortunately my husband became verbally abusive shortly after my son was born, and its just getting worse. he is getting verbally abusive not only towards me but son too. He has never get physically abusive, However I don't want my son to grew up in an environment like that.

Over the weekend, we had an argument and I ask him to go to his mom house for a few days and he refused, so I said I was going to leave with our 19 month old( who I still nurse and wakes up several times at night). He got all upset and threatened me with calling USCIS and said that our marriage was fraud and do anything in his power to have USCIS revoke my citizenship( I became an US Citizen on April) so I can get deported back to Mexico and he will have full custody of our son, If I dared to leave or file for divorce.

I told him "Good Luck with that, I know I didn't commit any immigration fraud, I married you because I was in love with you". then he proceeded to threatened with calling USCIS and report my parents. My parents are currently out of status. I petitioned my mom back in June, and He signed the affidavit of support for her as Head of Household. We are waiting for an interview, so my moms faith will be decided soon regardless of his treats to call immigration on her. I will be filing for divorce so I was wondering if he actually call USCIS how this will affect my moms petition, since he signed the affidavit.. He knew since the first day we met that I was out status as well as my parents were. I never hid that from him. I didn't force him to sign anything, he even volunteered to sign the affidavit for my mom.

He openly said that he is willing to lie or do anything to take my son away from me. so I know if will be a nasty divorce and custody battle, he refuses to go the marriage counseling and anger management classes/program.

I'm not the perfect wife by any means but he keeps rubbing in my face that he is the bread winner so I should shut up and do what he says. Nothing I do is enough. if I have the house spotless he thinks he should not at least recognize it because that what I should do, its my job since I stay home with our son. I was working full time unfortunately I couldn't bring my son with me to the school I was working at, so I looked for another school and he would have to pick him up and he refused because all my income would have been use to paid for my sons other school, and he didn't want to waste an hour of his time driving to pick up my son. The whole time I worked I was the one paying the sitter. He was upset because most of my income was toward the sitter.. In my last effort to save my marriage I quit my job.It was the worse decision, now he treats me like he can control me and I have no saying just because he is the only one bring in income.. He also doesn't want me to teach/talk in Spanish to my son just to mention a few things that changed since I stopped working.

I was in denial and waiting for him to change since his dad passed away in August and I thought he was just depressed but I just don't see any hope for change at all. Its just getting worse.

[rade2rising 205]

well you are citizen so forget his threats about deportation. And yes the worst thing you did was quit your job bcoz that gives him all the control he needs. He sounds like a person you can never please no matter what. Just dump his sorry A$$.

But yea if he is the one signing the affidavit of support for your mom then he can withdraw it but you can find someone else to do it. Dont stay with him just for that reason.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Get out of there now. He has no right to threaten you or demean you. He would have a hell of a time trying to convince anyone that you have a sham marriage with how long you've been together and I'm sure they've seen bitter exes try that trick before.

Don't let your son see him speak to you that way or speak to him that way. Please leave.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

If you feel threatened then you should pack up and leave.

well you are citizen so forget his threats about deportation. And yes the worst thing you did was quit your job bcoz that gives him all the control he needs. He sounds like a person you can never please no matter what. Just dump his sorry A$$.

But yea if he is the one signing the affidavit of support for your mom then he can withdraw it but you can find someone else to do it. Dont stay with him just for that reason.

I could say I'm an rocket scientist on here but that doesn't make it so. Making judgments while only hearing one side doesn't always pan out.

[rlogan 2,036]

I'm not the perfect wife by any means but he keeps rubbing in my face that he is the bread winner so I should shut up and do what he says.

That's so lame. The wife has every right to say the same thing: I'm taking care of the household and kids so you shut up and do what I say. What's the difference.

Keep your cool at all times. A verbal abuser wants most to get you upset, to hurt you emotionally, and ideally to get you making a mistake that he can capitalize on like getting you arrested for domestic violence and using that as a lever to take your kids.

It does you no good to antagonize him either. I'm not saying you are, but rather that it is always wise to just stay focused, calm, and do right by your children instead of getting caught up in a war.

Very sorry to hear of your troubles.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Tell him to go to hell.

There's nothing he or anybody can do to take your citizenship away, married for close to 5 years with a toddler, and naturalized already.

Move out, file for divorce and make sure he's going to pay up and shut up.

Wisdom is to know when it's over. In your case, it's over.

[panamania79 2]

My marriage is pretty much over. We got married almost 5 years ago. We have a19 month old.

Unfortunately my husband became verbally abusive shortly after my son was born, and its just getting worse. he is getting verbally abusive not only towards me but son too. He has never get physically abusive, However I don't want my son to grew up in an environment like that.

Over the weekend, we had an argument and I ask him to go to his mom house for a few days and he refused, so I said I was going to leave with our 19 month old( who I still nurse and wakes up several times at night). He got all upset and threatened me with calling USCIS and said that our marriage was fraud and do anything in his power to have USCIS revoke my citizenship( I became an US Citizen on April) so I can get deported back to Mexico and he will have full custody of our son, If I dared to leave or file for divorce.

I told him "Good Luck with that, I know I didn't commit any immigration fraud, I married you because I was in love with you". then he proceeded to threatened with calling USCIS and report my parents. My parents are currently out of status. I petitioned my mom back in June, and He signed the affidavit of support for her as Head of Household. We are waiting for an interview, so my moms faith will be decided soon regardless of his treats to call immigration on her. I will be filing for divorce so I was wondering if he actually call USCIS how this will affect my moms petition, since he signed the affidavit.. He knew since the first day we met that I was out status as well as my parents were. I never hid that from him. I didn't force him to sign anything, he even volunteered to sign the affidavit for my mom.

He openly said that he is willing to lie or do anything to take my son away from me. so I know if will be a nasty divorce and custody battle, he refuses to go the marriage counseling and anger management classes/program.

I'm not the perfect wife by any means but he keeps rubbing in my face that he is the bread winner so I should shut up and do what he says. Nothing I do is enough. if I have the house spotless he thinks he should not at least recognize it because that what I should do, its my job since I stay home with our son. I was working full time unfortunately I couldn't bring my son with me to the school I was working at, so I looked for another school and he would have to pick him up and he refused because all my income would have been use to paid for my sons other school, and he didn't want to waste an hour of his time driving to pick up my son. The whole time I worked I was the one paying the sitter. He was upset because most of my income was toward the sitter.. In my last effort to save my marriage I quit my job.It was the worse decision, now he treats me like he can control me and I have no saying just because he is the only one bring in income.. He also doesn't want me to teach/talk in Spanish to my son just to mention a few things that changed since I stopped working.

I was in denial and waiting for him to change since his dad passed away in August and I thought he was just depressed but I just don't see any hope for change at all. Its just getting worse.

La frescura de algunos hombres!You cannot get deported!If he goes to the USCIS and lies,he will be the one getting in trouble!Kick his sorry @ss to the curb,you and your son do not need that negative enviorment!

[TBoneTX 46,129]

*** Thread moved from Off Topic to Bringing Family Members of USCs to America -- for further answers on this question: ***

My parents are currently out of status. I petitioned my mom back in June, and He signed the affidavit of support for her as Head of Household. We are waiting for an interview, so my moms faith will be decided soon regardless of his treats to call immigration on her. I will be filing for divorce so I was wondering if he actually call USCIS how this will affect my moms petition, since he signed the affidavit.. He knew since the first day we met that I was out status as well as my parents were. I never hid that from him. I didn't force him to sign anything, he even volunteered to sign the affidavit for my mom.