stuck in a rut and don't know what to do

[parristracy 0]

hello everyone, I hope I can get some helpful insigt on my situation. I really need some good advice.

I met my husband back in February 2010 online. He came to visit me in my home country Barbados in July 2010 and again in September 2010. We feel in love instantly and he ask me to visit him and his family in the USA. I visited him in November 2010 for a 3 week vacation and fell in love with his family and him all over again. He asked me to come and stay with him in the US permanetly. I return to the U S in January 2011 and stayed for 4 months, I returned to Barbados in May 2011 and I was miserable with out my new found love. I returned to the US in July 2011, I was traveling back and forth on my B2 Tourist Visa. I finally decided to stay for 6 months but ended overstaying. I got married in August 2012 and everything when down hill from then. My so nice in laws started acting differently towards me, and my husband started to show his true colors.

His mother started harassing me for money, his sister stop speaking to me, and my husband says I am to blame because I have a chip on my shoulder.

I have continually ask him to move out from his mother's house so that we can get our own place but he refusses. I also found out that he owe over $3000. In taxes and he does not have a drivers licence, but he drives everyday to and from work. I want to go ahead and fill for my Green card but it does not seem realistic. We got married at the court house, and his family did not attend, It was just him and me and the mayor who performed the wedding, I took a few pics of the wedding, but it all seems so unreal to me.

I have a sister who lives in the US and I visit her on a regular basis ...she is a us citizen through her marriage to her husband for 15 years now.

My question is should I go ahead and submit my documents for change of status,? I am not sure weather I should on the fact that my husband owe taxes and we do not have any real proof that our marriage is a bona-fide marriage. My sister's husband says he would be a co-sponsor for the affidavist of support. But what about the fact that my husband and I do not have any thing together in both our names.

I am so afraid that I will have to return home and be ban from re-entry in to the US. Should I just gave up and start all over again, I love my husband very much and I believe he loves me too. But he is weak and can not seem to be responsible.

Please help, I am very frustrated and unsure of what to do.

[Darnell 8,478]

what is a 'jacke' ?

If it's a negative label, perhaps it's for the best you simply return to Barbados and forget all about him ?

[Ryan H 3,812]

Moved from General Immigration-Related Discussion to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits forum; issues raised in this topic make this thread a better fit in this forum.

[Just2Wise 0]

I think she means to say he is a Jekyl and Hyde...(hence he has two different personalities).

what is a 'jacke' ?

If it's a negative label, perhaps it's for the best you simply return to Barbados and forget all about him ?

[rlogan 2,036]

She means Jeckyll and Hyde.

Unfortunately that has just the wrong appearance for USCIS: overstays tourist visa, gets married, but has no solid evidence of bona fide marriage relationship. It even sounds like the B2 was more or less being used as a fiance visa, which is also problemmatic. If you try to prove up on the relationship by saying you were coming to stay with your fiance that you met online with a B2 visa then you've really blown it.

It doesn't sound like your husband is going to want to file for adjustment of status on the validity of the marriage. The business of just discovering the tax debt and driving illegally on a daily basis is pretty alarming insofar as not knowing this guy very well. The driving must be from losing his license somehow. Drunk driving is the most common reason for that, and if they catch you driving again when it is suspended for that it's another criminal offense. Whatever it is, it sounds like distancing yourself pronto from this person is a good idea and since adjustment of status looks unrealistic with what you've said - it looks like going home is the best legal option.

Sorry for your troubles.

[aaydrian 479]

If your husband still wants you to get a geencard so he can have a life with you legally in the US then you need become proactive. Find out what evidence are free or wouldn't cost much that you can add your name to, add your husband's or start together and would show you really are living as man and wife. If money is a problem can your sis give or loan you the cash to cover your adjustment of status process? That way you can half way through the process get your EAD card, start working, save some cash and move out of your in laws house. I'm not sure how o the extent owing taxes will affect your AOS process. Hopefully someone will come along and who can help you with information.

If you continue be unsure that your husband wants anything to do with you even with counseling then all you an do is call it quits. Your choices are divorce, go home, face a ban but be legal in Barbados and in the future still have a possibility of returning to the US by petition or stay in the US illegally and hope you find love again, marry and AOS successfully with the new hisband.

what is a 'jacke' ?

If it's a negative label, perhaps it's for the best you simply return to Barbados and forget all about him ?

I can't find that word in the OP

[Just2Wise 0]

You can file the petiton which is the I-130, however your husband has to sign it because he is the US Citizen spouse. When you file the I-130 all you need to send with the application is the filing fee, your marriage certificate, you and your husband's birth certificate (if he is not a born US Citizen then you have to send a copy of his Naturalization certificate).

In the meantime you and your husband can work out he is going to work out a payment plan with the IRS to get his tax situation sorted out because even if your sister's husband stand as affidavit of support you will still need something from the IRS explaining the situation with your husband.

If your husband sorts the tax issue out then you can send whatever he gets from the IRS explaining the situation along with an affidavit of support from your husband along with the affidavit of support from your sister's husband as back-up

You can wait until the I-130 is approved (this process takes a few months) and then send send the affidavit of Support (both your husband's and your sister's husband with the appropriate documents - job letter, pay stubs, tax documents) along with your adjustment of Status application and work authorization application with a copy of the I-130 approval letter at the same time.

Dont get discouraged, try to work things out with your husband and fight for your marriage and your life together if you really want it. Good luck.

hello everyone, I hope I can get some helpful insigt on my situation. I really need some good advice.

I met my husband back in February 2010 online. He came to visit me in my home country Barbados in July 2010 and again in September 2010. We feel in love instantly and he ask me to visit him and his family in the USA. I visited him in November 2010 for a 3 week vacation and fell in love with his family and him all over again. He asked me to come and stay with him in the US permanetly. I return to the U S in January 2011 and stayed for 4 months, I returned to Barbados in May 2011 and I was miserable with out my new found love. I returned to the US in July 2011, I was traveling back and forth on my B2 Tourist Visa. I finally decided to stay for 6 months but ended overstaying. I got married in August 2012 and everything when down hill from then. My so nice in laws started acting differently towards me, and my husband started to show his true colors.

His mother started harassing me for money, his sister stop speaking to me, and my husband says I am to blame because I have a chip on my shoulder.

I have continually ask him to move out from his mother's house so that we can get our own place but he refusses. I also found out that he owe over $3000. In taxes and he does not have a drivers licence, but he drives everyday to and from work. I want to go ahead and fill for my Green card but it does not seem realistic. We got married at the court house, and his family did not attend, It was just him and me and the mayor who performed the wedding, I took a few pics of the wedding, but it all seems so unreal to me.

I have a sister who lives in the US and I visit her on a regular basis ...she is a us citizen through her marriage to her husband for 15 years now.

My question is should I go ahead and submit my documents for change of status,? I am not sure weather I should on the fact that my husband owe taxes and we do not have any real proof that our marriage is a bona-fide marriage. My sister's husband says he would be a co-sponsor for the affidavist of support. But what about the fact that my husband and I do not have any thing together in both our names.

I am so afraid that I will have to return home and be ban from re-entry in to the US. Should I just gave up and start all over again, I love my husband very much and I believe he loves me too. But he is weak and can not seem to be responsible.

Please help, I am very frustrated and unsure of what to do.

[Just2Wise 0]

I did not mention that you will need evidence that you and your husband have a life together. You can discuss opening a joint bank account with your husband, adding both your names to the utility bills, and taking photos of the both of you out

together.

I am not sure what kind of life you both have since getting married, but you must have photos of you and your husband when you visited him in the past.

I am not sure what else to say to you because at the end of the day he has to want to file for you...its not something you can do by yourself.

hello everyone, I hope I can get some helpful insigt on my situation. I really need some good advice.

I met my husband back in February 2010 online. He came to visit me in my home country Barbados in July 2010 and again in September 2010. We feel in love instantly and he ask me to visit him and his family in the USA. I visited him in November 2010 for a 3 week vacation and fell in love with his family and him all over again. He asked me to come and stay with him in the US permanetly. I return to the U S in January 2011 and stayed for 4 months, I returned to Barbados in May 2011 and I was miserable with out my new found love. I returned to the US in July 2011, I was traveling back and forth on my B2 Tourist Visa. I finally decided to stay for 6 months but ended overstaying. I got married in August 2012 and everything when down hill from then. My so nice in laws started acting differently towards me, and my husband started to show his true colors.

His mother started harassing me for money, his sister stop speaking to me, and my husband says I am to blame because I have a chip on my shoulder.

I have continually ask him to move out from his mother's house so that we can get our own place but he refusses. I also found out that he owe over $3000. In taxes and he does not have a drivers licence, but he drives everyday to and from work. I want to go ahead and fill for my Green card but it does not seem realistic. We got married at the court house, and his family did not attend, It was just him and me and the mayor who performed the wedding, I took a few pics of the wedding, but it all seems so unreal to me.

I have a sister who lives in the US and I visit her on a regular basis ...she is a us citizen through her marriage to her husband for 15 years now.

My question is should I go ahead and submit my documents for change of status,? I am not sure weather I should on the fact that my husband owe taxes and we do not have any real proof that our marriage is a bona-fide marriage. My sister's husband says he would be a co-sponsor for the affidavist of support. But what about the fact that my husband and I do not have any thing together in both our names.

I am so afraid that I will have to return home and be ban from re-entry in to the US. Should I just gave up and start all over again, I love my husband very much and I believe he loves me too. But he is weak and can not seem to be responsible.

Please help, I am very frustrated and unsure of what to do.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I can't find that word in the OP

It's not in the OP itself, it's in the sub-heading.

[Jahwaree 83]

There's 2 sides to every story , but try and maybe go to say a park or library one day with him, and see where his head is at re: the marriage, dont say

anything about his family, many times families live in a satisfactory communnal setting and an outsider comes in and begin to see and tell

the one they married about independence, little idiosycrocies in the set up, and even seem to be trying to throw a wedge in the mix, this is when the

family will turn on the outsider, also some other culture differs in things that will not make them co-exists with others, seem both sides showed their true colors, if he's not gonna do your papers and the marriage is over, move on, get a divorce, and look into maybe departing to your country, with him owing taxes

he may not want to make a payment plan with the IRS for your benefit, he does not even bother for a license...it is hard to live in the shadows now in the US.....and if caught and deported , its harder to return than just overstaying.....best wishes

[Darnell 8,478]

I think she means to say he is a Jekyl and Hyde...(hence he has two different personalities).

ah- got it now.

To the OP - decide what you want, then make it happen. <EOM>

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

You can't start the process on your own. The USC is the person that must support the I130 petition and your adjustment of status.

[Moomin 292]

Well, if your sister is a US citizen living in the US, she could petition you. There's no ban when overstaying for less than 180 days. 180 up to a year it's a 3 year ban, and anything more than that it's 10 year ban. However the process is longer, and since you're not lawfully in the US, you cannot adjust inside the US. I would not suggest this way Because it's a very lenghtly process compared to AOS from your marriage. HOwever I thought I'd at least mention it to you in case you need to know that you have one other option.

Unlike your sister petitioning you, AOS via your marriage makes you eligible right here and now because as an immidiate relative of a USC, your overstay isn't an issue during the process and you can start and finish the process inside the US.

What is certain though, is that adjusting status based on marriage, you and your husband will both go to the interview. You can't do that successfully without any evidence of comingling your lives/assets, such as you being added to his health insurance through work(if he has insurance), joint bank accounts, bills in both names to your address, filing taxes jointly, etc. Regarless of the joint sponsor, your husband still needs to submit the affidavit of support and evidence.

One last note though - unless your husband is helping out his mother by living together, cut the stress factor out of your lives, live as a married couple and simply visit your mother-in-law instead. There's not 3 people in your marriage and momma needs to butt out so your husband can start being responsible, get his driver's license back instead of using it as an easy way out of the problems (and potential issues down the road) that he's creating.

[Mrs Sterling 5]

I really dont understand how people can say to just move on and divorce him and move back home. Every couple is unique, what may be basis for one to "give up" may not be the same for another. I for one do not suggest you just "move on" since you say you really love your husband. When you made the choice to marry this man you did so with the premise of loving him unconditionally. He obviously has some issues with the driving licence scenario and tax liability, and so do you with this family, but I dont see why it cant be worked out. If you are both willing and able then go for counselling and try to work on things. Every couple has their problems at one point or another, some bigger than others, but it is a true testament to your relationship when you are able to overcome any obstacle and move forward stronger and still in love. Pray about it, work on your marriage, get some proof of the bonafides of your relationship, sort out the logistics, and God willing you will be ok. Well thats just my two cents. I wish you all the best.

[JohnR! 5,495]

hello everyone, I hope I can get some helpful insigt on my situation. I really need some good advice.

I met my husband back in February 2010 online. He came to visit me in my home country Barbados in July 2010 and again in September 2010. We feel in love instantly and he ask me to visit him and his family in the USA. I visited him in November 2010 for a 3 week vacation and fell in love with his family and him all over again. He asked me to come and stay with him in the US permanetly. I return to the U S in January 2011 and stayed for 4 months, I returned to Barbados in May 2011 and I was miserable with out my new found love. I returned to the US in July 2011, I was traveling back and forth on my B2 Tourist Visa. I finally decided to stay for 6 months but ended overstaying. I got married in August 2012 and everything when down hill from then. My so nice in laws started acting differently towards me, and my husband started to show his true colors.

His mother started harassing me for money, his sister stop speaking to me, and my husband says I am to blame because I have a chip on my shoulder.

I have continually ask him to move out from his mother's house so that we can get our own place but he refusses. I also found out that he owe over $3000. In taxes and he does not have a drivers licence, but he drives everyday to and from work. I want to go ahead and fill for my Green card but it does not seem realistic. We got married at the court house, and his family did not attend, It was just him and me and the mayor who performed the wedding, I took a few pics of the wedding, but it all seems so unreal to me.

I have a sister who lives in the US and I visit her on a regular basis ...she is a us citizen through her marriage to her husband for 15 years now.

My question is should I go ahead and submit my documents for change of status,? I am not sure weather I should on the fact that my husband owe taxes and we do not have any real proof that our marriage is a bona-fide marriage. My sister's husband says he would be a co-sponsor for the affidavist of support. But what about the fact that my husband and I do not have any thing together in both our names.

I am so afraid that I will have to return home and be ban from re-entry in to the US. Should I just gave up and start all over again, I love my husband very much and I believe he loves me too. But he is weak and can not seem to be responsible.

Please help, I am very frustrated and unsure of what to do.

IMHO, cut your losses, get a divorce and go back home before it is too late.

If your husband loved you he would treat you with the respect you deserve and you would feel it. His tax situation will pose an issue during your AOS process and that alone should tell you something about his character.

I am sure you believe he loves you but you should ask yourself if the way he treats you really conveys that...

Ultimately, do that which feels right in your heart and mind, so you will have no regrets down the road.