Heartbroken, she left me

[New York Guy 0]

A little embarrassed, and messed up for a while, just getting over it.

Married my k1 fiance after a week. I thought she was intelligent enough to be patient and we could each learn our ways and stay married til interview time.

Luck would have it, my father got sick, died, and I was a little upset. A couple of times I snapped at her. She was acting strange. Not letting me touch her, hug her, things like that. I had a feeling she was intentionally trying to piss me off. The night my father died, I confronted her with this, and she began to cry, I never saw someone cry that much for a 38 year old! I am 55.

She went to stay at my moms house 2 weeks. I kept coming there asking, begging, crying for her to come back. She said she had friends in a Philippino neighborhood near us, and I said, go. I can't take it anymore, I'm having heart attacks seeing her here, and sleeping alone, knowing she may be crying at my mothers house.

So, my sister comes back after driving her, my sis says, she went to the BAYANIHAN COMMUNITY CENTER

40-21 69th Street, Woodside, NY 11377 She lied, no friend.

I heard though someone she called that they got her to go the police and report abuse. She has been there 2 months, and they won't answer the phone, won't answer my emails. She does not answer her phone or texts. Just like that after 5 years of supporting her and her son with xoom. She treats me like I'm dead.

I love her to death and would do anything to get her back. But the police said if she went there, she went because its a place where abused women go, and I cannot contact her.

Now heres the clincher, her friend told me they have immigration lawyers there that will get her her green card anyway. No one has contacted me to find out if her charges are real!!!!!! Any Philipino woman can do this, and I hope they do, and this place gets busted for visa fraud. Its dangerous too to allow anyone a green card these days. I don't think she is all there now if she can do this so coldly. I am 50% certain she planned it. I would take her back anyway. The interview isn't for a few months.

Sorry for the long story, but I thought you should know, it can happen to you. This girl just was not a good listener, and refused to talk at length without getting angry herself.

I was told by my therapist which I needed for my suicidal thoughts afterwards, not to go the infopass route, don't make waves. I sent a certified letter to the USCIS that I sent the 485 to. Now I figure, just wait, I won't get a divorce cause I want her to keep the medical benefits from job and texted that to her that she can still use the cards. Divorce in the future though.

I still trust Philippina girls, and in a few years may retire there and marry again after dating.

So, what do you suggest I do. Nothing?

Edited December 7, 2012 by New York Guy

[Jahwaree 83]

Buddy U need to move on, this lady had plan to have U support her and U was her ticket to the US .This is not about listening, she had a well laid out plan and now puts it in action, Y U wanna continue giving her medical? get a divorce, wish her well and move on , its over and 4get about sucide, the are many nice lonely professional single females in the NY area....good luck

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Make an INFOPASS and report what happened. You will never know what she said about you but her reports of abuse CAN affect you getting a visa for a new fiance/spouse in the future. It's best you let them know so your story HAS been told.

Get a divorce and move on. You trying to be nice will only backfire. She has planned this from the beginning. You were used. You need to protect yourself and your assets. If you pass away (no-one can guarantee anything) everything will go to her (what abotu your family and the people that love and support you). The longer you're married the more she may be entitled to in a divorce.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Dude, this sucks.

I'm not sure I support some of your decisions but we're all different.

Good luck anyways.

[bob&maegy 11]

I am engaged to a white guy too from US.. I am a filipina and I dislike filipina that uses american men a ticket meal just for them to get what they want when they arrived in the US... I'm blessed to have found a Christian man. we both have the same beliefs and church goer too. I am 100% sure that I am marrying this man for LOVE and not other else.. I hope your wife will realized what she did and let go the most important man in her life that loved her whole heartedly.. but for me mister, i would encourage you to file a divorce... and cut all the benefits that she may be getting from you. someone like her doesn't deserved a good man like you..

[Sandra G. 5,070]

You were scammed! Divorce and move on. You need some therapy because after everything she had done you would take her back then you really need some help. Good luck.

[missing_tulips 4]

i am sorry to hear that and i am filipina also and married with white man... i just shock and sad cuz she only used you. i hope you will find the real love

[codeblue20 8]

sorry about the status of your marriage. not all Filipinas are like that. i feel ashamed that someone from my race could treat anyone like that most especially her husband. it's because of cases like this that the USCIS is becoming stricter. isn't it ironic for instance to have your petition approved fast, pass the interview with no issues and then when you enter the land of milk and honey, and marry the petitioner, you suddenly turn into a complete stranger, who does not know how to compromise. i assure you that not all of us are like that - cunning and predatory. when we love someone sincerely we do so with a passion, and we will do anything for our loved one. again sir pls accept my apologies in behalf of my fellow filipinas who might be put in a bad light because of what happened to you and your wife. may God bless you.

[Ontarkie 14,466]

~~~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits, from K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures~~~~

[jameugiekaxavilon 25]

So sorry to hear this happen to you. There are really women like this and its around the world. Just let her go and move on. You deserve someone who will truly love you!!

[Kevo 69]

This is why I'm getting a pre-nup. Pretty sure everything's legit as we were physically together for a little over a year and I feel I know her. BUT, I'm not naive enough to think that it's impossible I could be getting put-on....it has happened before, it'll happen again.

A pre-nup can cost up to $2K, but if you need it then it'll be the best $2K you ever spent.

NY Guy, if I were you I'd see a lawyer ASAP. I wouldn't be overly concerned about her scamming the system and getting to stay in the US - but I would be more worried about her getting 1/2 of everything you have, including your accounts.

[rade2rising 205]

do your best to move by filing for divorce immediately and stay away from her before she makes more abuse claims against you. you have to try and get past this and in future live with the foreigner you going to marry at least for couple of years overseas then bring them here. its no guarantee but at least you will have some idea about who you living with. good luck buddy.

[SteveKarlaMayer 21]

A little embarrassed, and messed up for a while, just getting over it.

Married my k1 fiance after a week. I thought she was intelligent enough to be patient and we could each learn our ways and stay married til interview time.

Luck would have it, my father got sick, died, and I was a little upset. A couple of times I snapped at her. She was acting strange. Not letting me touch her, hug her, things like that. I had a feeling she was intentionally trying to piss me off. The night my father died, I confronted her with this, and she began to cry, I never saw someone cry that much for a 38 year old! I am 55.

She went to stay at my moms house 2 weeks. I kept coming there asking, begging, crying for her to come back. She said she had friends in a Philippino neighborhood near us, and I said, go. I can't take it anymore, I'm having heart attacks seeing her here, and sleeping alone, knowing she may be crying at my mothers house.

So, my sister comes back after driving her, my sis says, she went to the BAYANIHAN COMMUNITY CENTER

40-21 69th Street, Woodside, NY 11377 She lied, no friend.

I heard though someone she called that they got her to go the police and report abuse. She has been there 2 months, and they won't answer the phone, won't answer my emails. She does not answer her phone or texts. Just like that after 5 years of supporting her and her son with xoom. She treats me like I'm dead.

I love her to death and would do anything to get her back. But the police said if she went there, she went because its a place where abused women go, and I cannot contact her.

Now heres the clincher, her friend told me they have immigration lawyers there that will get her her green card anyway. No one has contacted me to find out if her charges are real!!!!!! Any Philipino woman can do this, and I hope they do, and this place gets busted for visa fraud. Its dangerous too to allow anyone a green card these days. I don't think she is all there now if she can do this so coldly. I am 50% certain she planned it. I would take her back anyway. The interview isn't for a few months.

Sorry for the long story, but I thought you should know, it can happen to you. This girl just was not a good listener, and refused to talk at length without getting angry herself.

I was told by my therapist which I needed for my suicidal thoughts afterwards, not to go the infopass route, don't make waves. I sent a certified letter to the USCIS that I sent the 485 to. Now I figure, just wait, I won't get a divorce cause I want her to keep the medical benefits from job and texted that to her that she can still use the cards. Divorce in the future though.

I still trust Philippina girls, and in a few years may retire there and marry again after dating.

So, what do you suggest I do. Nothing?

I feel so sorry for you, friend. But I think it's time to move on. Seems that this woman never loved you, it was just her scheme to be able to migrate there in USA. I can't believe someone could do that, trap other for their own good. I'm a Filipina myself and I don't tolerate this behavior, too childish. I hope she will realize soon what she lost. If she's not insane enough, she will apologize to you. Not easy but move on.

God bless you.

Edited December 7, 2012 by Lai & Steven

[milimelo 4,554]

Make an infopass and officially pull the I-864 - do it in writing and mail letter to USCIS where you sent the AOS and your local office. That makes sure her AOS doesn't go through. Divorce and move on.

[Sajid6695 5]

I feel your pain, it hurts when your life is turned upside down. Time will heel all wounds and you will find someone who will love you and not be after green card. Someone looking from outside would think the age difference was an alarm that this woman just wanted to come here and start a new life with someone else. You should find someone who is in your age bracket and someone who is independent not looking for a sugar daddy. I wish you the best and suicide is the easy way out, be strong cuz its a cruel cold world that will walk over you if you show weakness.