Sometimes it is all worth it

[reese1 68]

Congratulations to you and your wife!

[TBoneTX 45,273]

Yours is one of the few cases where the visa was not nonsense, T-Bone and I guess I should always note that exception. Most of the whining and complaining is because something or another took 3 weeks longer than planned (by someone that should not have been planning), not the malicious abuse you had to endure.

Your case has always inspired me and left me a little sheepish in that we, those going through Kiev and Moscow and Warsaw, have things rather easy compared to what others face.

Congratulations!

Gracias, G-Bro. If Mrs. T-B. passes the interview, she probably won't get the next-day ceremony, but it also shouldn't be longer than 2 months. Since S. & D. & P. are all Texanating (cool new word), maybe that's a sign that all of you should be here, see man. And, you are NOT going to sneak in & out again without hobnobbing with the locals, no man!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Gracias, G-Bro. If Mrs. T-B. passes the interview, she probably won't get the next-day ceremony, but it also shouldn't be longer than 2 months. Since S. & D. & P. are all Texanating (cool new word), maybe that's a sign that all of you should be here, see man. And, you are NOT going to sneak in & out again without hobnobbing with the locals, no man!

Texanating? I think you should be the official "new English language words" person.

We are planning to come this spring, I will tell you. We are talking about going to San Antonio for a couple days also. We will see how much time we have during the school break. Alla wants to check it out.

[Aaron&Ulianna 0]

Gary I wanted to thank you for the wealth of info you have provided in this forum. We recently brought our daughter here to the US so she could attend a university here.

This was her choice, she had already been accepted to a school in Russia, but the opportunity here for her was so much better. We are really looking forward to the next part of our adventure.

BTW a big congratulations to your son who is attending Rice. Being a native Texan and living in the Houston area. I can really say that is very impressive.

Also my wife considers herself a Texan, because she married one, and was married there.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Gary I wanted to thank you for the wealth of info you have provided in this forum. We recently brought our daughter here to the US so she could attend a university here.

This was her choice, she had already been accepted to a school in Russia, but the opportunity here for her was so much better. We are really looking forward to the next part of our adventure.

BTW a big congratulations to your son who is attending Rice. Being a native Texan and living in the Houston area. I can really say that is very impressive.

Also my wife considers herself a Texan, because she married one, and was married there.

I am a Texican also, grew up in Runnels County, way out yonder! 12 miles east of Winters (a huge city at that time) "Between Abilene and San Angelo" is the best description

So yes, I was extremely proud to have our son going to Rice because Rice is like the best school in the known civilized world and stuff. He had a "better" (if you can call it that) offer from LSU but I embarrased myself begging him to take the offer at Rice instead. He consulted the rankings and went with my suggestion. LSU was offering him $9,000 per year more for his assistant professorship and he saw that as "8 more tickets per year to go to Russia and see Dasha" But now she is coming to Houston on a J-1 to attend the University of Houston, so that worked out. He is in Moscow right now to collect her and come back January 4. Sergey did his masters degree in Moscow but he, and Alla and I, wanted him to get at least part of his education here. We had thought he would get his masters here, but he got a paid scholarship at MIPT and said he would go on for a doctorate here, which he is. I feel really good about his chances in life, I just really cannot think of something better a person can accomplish than to provide such an opportunity to their children.

Pasha has sent off about a dozen applications for colleges, so that is the next hurdle. He has the best GPA of them all, ("yeah, but American schools" Alla says) so we have high hopes for him also. At least he got past the "When I am 18 I am going to live in Florida and carry hot chicks in bikinis around in my pickup truck" stage.

Pasha is in Donetsk for the holidays, and visiting his impossibly HOT 17 year old girlfriend that looks about 22 ("she will regret that when she is 40" Alla says) he wrote me when he got there that they had about 6" of snow, the taxi drivers wanted 4 times the usual rate to get him to the flat and he took public transportation which took more than 3 hours! And he says the raods are not plowed at all! Good thing he does not drive there.

Best of luck to you and your family.

[VJ Supersleuth 100]

LSU was offering him $9,000 per year more for his assistant professorship and he saw that as "8 more tickets per year to go to Russia and see Dasha" ... Sergey did his masters degree in Moscow but he, and Alla and I, wanted him to get at least part of his education here. We had thought he would get his masters here, but he got a paid scholarship at MIPT and said he would go on for a doctorate here, which he is.

Gary,

You are a wealth of information and have helped so many in your time here at VJ. Would you mind explaining how some of us could help our children succeed as you have? I would be indebted to you if you could advise me on how I can tailor my son's educational path in which he gets an "assistant professorship" before his "doctorate". As always, I remain in awe of Sergei's tremendous accomplishment.

[baron555 934]

Would you mind explaining how some of us could help our children succeed as you have?

Merely become totally involved with their entire life....nurture them, introduce them to all sorts of experiences, let them learn hands on.

Here we do not even have cable TV except just a few basic channels because they were in a cheaper package that gives us the Internet. We do pay for Kartina.TV so that he can watch Russian programs to help maintain his Russian language skills....at 5.5 years he can freely switch back and forth from English to Russian to English. It is quite amazing actually.

Take your child everywhere, always be by their side, educate them besides what the school system does.

If you put in the time they will reap the benefits. It's all about you.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Merely become totally involved with their entire life....nurture them, introduce them to all sorts of experiences, let them learn hands on.

Here we do not even have cable TV except just a few basic channels because they were in a cheaper package that gives us the Internet. We do pay for Kartina.TV so that he can watch Russian programs to help maintain his Russian language skills....at 5.5 years he can freely switch back and forth from English to Russian to English. It is quite amazing actually.

Take your child everywhere, always be by their side, educate them besides what the school system does.

If you put in the time they will reap the benefits. It's all about you.

Maintaining the Russian language is important. Alla was very worried that Pasha would be "stuck" with an 8th grade level of Russian. She speaks only in Russian to him at home, I speak only in English (except when he is teaching me more words) he also speaks with Sergey nearly daily by skype and with friends in Ukraine and a good friend of Sergey's at UT Austin.

Leonid will get plenty of English in his life here, keeping his Russian intact will be the challenge but I believe it is important for future opportunities.

The languge switching makes for interesting situations. For Alla's birthday, Pasha and I took her out for lunch. She talks to Pasha in Russian (of which I understand most of what she is saying, incredibly! But it is getting easier, even for me to tell what is being said when only hearing one side of the conversation) and Pasha speaks to her in Russian, he speaks to me in English, Alla speaks to me in Russian or English and I answer her in English (mostly) but sometimes Russian (she says she can tell "right away" I am not a native Russian speaker ) And people around us at other tables are wondering what the heck is going on! Makes perfect sense to us.

Your other advice is good. Spend a lot of time with them. Make them comfortable to come to you with their problems. I am against the idea of parents being "friends" to their children, I am not their friend, I am their parent and I need to go with what is good for them, not what they want to hear necessarily. But they need to respect that the parents CAN solve their problems and WILL help them no matter what. You have to be the go-to guy and the rock. The guy who says what he means and means what he says. Reliable.

But most of all I think you have to adopt the attitutde that the BEST and most pleasurable thing you can do, is something FOR your family/children. When that brings you more pleasure than anything else, truly, you will always be happy and can never have a bad day because the day will never come that Leonid does not need something from you.

And expect and demand the best from them. I am the "softy" in that regard. A 3.93 GPA is just fine and dandy by me, Alla says "Why is not 3.95?" Pasha's cumulative GPA is currently 3.995 ! What do you say about THAT, Alla???? Hmmmmm? "Meh...American Schools"

But being the rock they build on and expecting the most of them are two good things to help them succeed.

You are a lucky man, Mr. Baron and Leonid is a lucky kid.

[TBoneTX 45,273]

In addition to the irreverent humor and intelligent discussions of many subjects, we have some great parents here in the RUBforum (combination of RUB & subforum).

Mini-Bone will be 2 years old next month, and he's a complete handful. However, spending time with him, and helping his little mind and muscles develop, is a joy and a building of memories.

I work in a hospital (not with patients), and I regularly see parents from all walks of like who are wheeling their sick or congenitally deformed children around. Every time Mrs. T-B. (a full-time housewife) is at her wit's end with Mini-B., I remind her that we could be stuffing his meals down feeding-tubes. She immediately regains perspective. I must admit that my one secret concern about marrying Mrs. T-B.-to-be was my perception that she had zero maternal instinct, but I was 100% wrong about that.

She has a regular rotation of English, Spanish, and sign-language videos for him to watch. I questioned the last, but she said that kids learn to communicate before they can talk. Sure enough: when I took Mini-B. trick-or-treating and told him to say "thank you," he used the sign-language motion for "thank you."

Just tonight, he brought me a small snowman. The dialogue:

T-B. [pointing to snowman's hat]: What's this?

M-B.: Hat!

T-B. [pointing to eyes]: Bravo! What are these?

M-B.: Eyes!

T-B. [pointing to nose]: Bravo! What's this?

M-B.: Nose!

T-B. [pointing to mouth]: Bravo! What's this?

M-B.: Mouf!

T-B. [pointing to hand]: Bravo! What's this?

M-B.: Mano! (Spanish for "hand")

T-B.: Mano! Hand! Smart boy!

M-B.: Mano-o-o-o-o! Ha-a-a-nd!

He was on the verge of learning culo -- the impolite Spanish word for "hindquarters" -- but I think that Mrs. T-B. is working behind the scenes to keep him from saying it. Same thing with pedo (fart). Leave it to chicks to undermine important male bonding at this crucial stage, sigh man.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

In addition to the irreverent humor and intelligent discussions of many subjects, we have some great parents here in the RUBforum (combination of RUB & subforum).

Mini-Bone will be 2 years old next month, and he's a complete handful. However, spending time with him, and helping his little mind and muscles develop, is a joy and a building of memories.

I work in a hospital (not with patients), and I regularly see parents from all walks of like who are wheeling their sick or congenitally deformed children around. Every time Mrs. T-B. (a full-time housewife) is at her wit's end with Mini-B., I remind her that we could be stuffing his meals down feeding-tubes. She immediately regains perspective. I must admit that my one secret concern about marrying Mrs. T-B.-to-be was my perception that she had zero maternal instinct, but I was 100% wrong about that.

She has a regular rotation of English, Spanish, and sign-language videos for him to watch. I questioned the last, but she said that kids learn to communicate before they can talk. Sure enough: when I took Mini-B. trick-or-treating and told him to say "thank you," he used the sign-language motion for "thank you."

Just tonight, he brought me a small snowman. The dialogue:

T-B. [pointing to snowman's hat]: What's this?

M-B.: Hat!

T-B. [pointing to eyes]: Bravo! What are these?

M-B.: Eyes!

T-B. [pointing to nose]: Bravo! What's this?

M-B.: Nose!

T-B. [pointing to mouth]: Bravo! What's this?

M-B.: Mouf!

T-B. [pointing to hand]: Bravo! What's this?

M-B.: Mano! (Spanish for "hand")

T-B.: Mano! Hand! Smart boy!

M-B.: Mano-o-o-o-o! Ha-a-a-nd!

He was on the verge of learning culo -- the impolite Spanish word for "hindquarters" -- but I think that Mrs. T-B. is working behind the scenes to keep him from saying it. Same thing with pedo (fart). Leave it to chicks to undermine important male bonding at this crucial stage, sigh man.

Bravo

When Pasha had first arrived here, he would come to me with all the slang words he had heard that he suspected were less than polite (Alla never speaks publically in less than polite terms and doesn't want to hear it) He learned all the slang and idioms before Alla and Sergey ever did.

I just think it is an excellent idea to continue the language culture of both parents. It can be a valuable talent in many ways in the future and certainly increases a young person's opportunities.

[TBoneTX 45,273]

I just think it is an excellent idea to continue the language culture of both parents. It can be a valuable talent in many ways in the future and certainly increases a young person's opportunities.

100% si to all three points, man.

[Codeblue009 3]

Congratulations Gary, Alla and to your sons! It is a wonderful accomplishment and it again speaks to the devotion of a better life here if you work and study hard! With respect to the weather, it did start out as 68 degrees for Christmas. Now if 50 degrees, 10 C. :-)Have a great New Year to you all!!!!

[ryan.j.engleman 0]

This is a great post, thanks for sharing. Congratulations to you and your family!

[Alfia & John 10]

This is inspiring, thanks for posting

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Back to topic...if there really is one.

Pasha and I spent some enjoyable weeks preparing his college applications (which are more difficult than an I-129f and somehow people do it without attorneys! ) and we sent them all out before he went to Ukraine for the semester break

So far he has been accepted to 4 universities...Auburn, Virginia Tech, University of Kansas and Univeristy of Houston! He also applied to Texas A&M in Texas and University of Virginia. Wiating to hear from them.

Alla is pushing for University of Houston so he will be near Sergey and we only have to go to TWO places to visit children...Houston and Chicago. I am not sure if mingling education decisions with travel plans is a good idea but U of H is well respected in the field he is going into (another math major) And more important, since Sergey's girlfriend Dasha is going there I already have a U of H ballcap and would not need to buy another one (college expenses are high enough!) Though Auburn has really cool hats. Way cool!

Anyway, despite all the motherly worry because he is more "like a normal American child" he has the highest GPA of any of them and is getting accepted into every college he applies to (so far).

He could be another one "Texanating" T-Bone.

But it is a good feeling that this young man, just five years ago, spoke little English and was very scared and apprehensive about his move across the world to a strange place where "wild animals run in the road" and now he is well on his way to an exceelnt education and opportunities he could not have had if I had not picked up Alla's suitcase in the Prague airport and said "C'mon, Follow me"

Who knew?

PS Alla says "if a strange man ever picks up your suitcase in an airport and says 'C'mon follow me'....JUST CALL THE POLICE!"

Edited February 5, 2013 by Gary and Alla