Sometimes it is all worth it

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I think the best thing of having a family are the rewards worth -0- dollars that come your way but you would not trade for anything.

Going into this K-1 business with a mother of two boys, one wonders if you are doing right by them. We discussed this at length and decided that the boys will have, really, better opportunities with multi-lingual educations, educations in multiple countries and the opportunites that the US offers.

We have not been disappointed. Sergey graduted with "Faculty Honors" (valedictorian) from MIPT with a masters in Physics. US universities embarrased themselves offering him positions and paid tuiton for a doctorate and at age 21 he is an asst. Professor at Rice University and a doctoral candidate. Could we be any more pleased?

Pasha now is applying for colleges. He has the highest grade point avarage in the school, Received the top award in the state for Mathmatics when he was a sophomore, and will graduate high school already having 6 college credits in Statistics, Physics and Writing (English writing, he barely spoke English 4 years ago!)from the University of Vermont

He just did an interview with one the nation's most powerful Senators, Patrick Leahy, regarding small business in Vermont for his senior seminar project.

I reviewed his essay for college entrance and it was about how, when he came here, he was confused as to why he was losing his friends, his social stature and everything critical to a 13 year old to be dragged away by his mother to the USA. He put in wiritng many of the fears Alla and I had, and never discussed with him. We knew this but felt we were doing the right thing. After a page and a half of how difficult it was for him, even with help at home and in school...he finished with perhaps the most incredible paragraph I ever read. Listing all the things he has been able to achieve that he would never have had the chance to do had he continued his life in Ukraine.

I am not bragging, I do not take the credit...how could I? I just know that one day when I am not around anymore, there will be two boys we, Alla and I, made a difference to and their families in the future.

For those who have children, enjoy them, aren't they great? For those in the visa process...it passes and I hope your experiences are as good as ours have been. You will forget all about the visa nonsense. For those who may be joining a person in the USA and you have children and you wonder "will my kids be OK?" The answer is..."Why not?" It is not easy but if two people put forth the effort, the opportunities are great.

We will send off the last of Pasha's applications this weekend and then await the results. He is going heavy on Texas universities (makes a Texican proud) but mostly I think for warmer weather.

Good luck to everyone!

[Cathi 5,777]

I think it is always all worth it, not just sometimes. Congratulations, you should be very proud.

[Ivie & Eguagie 119]

Congratulations! You deserve to be proud!!

[baron555 934]

Listing all the things he has been able to achieve that he would never have had the chance to do had he continued his life in Ukraine.

Boy, I'd like to read what he wrote.....but could probably come close.

And yes, it IS all worth it. We work so well as a family that the everyday trials and tribulations are easily tasked and taken care of.

[1HappyGuy 45]

I think the best thing of having a family are the rewards worth -0- dollars that come your way but you would not trade for anything.

Gary,

Sometimes you just seem to hit the nail right on the head. When I think back to what my life was before Lena and how it has changed, it is amazing. My stepson Andrii is now working very seriously on his degree which, if he accomplishes what he wants, should be a good paying career for years to come. While going to school now, he has moved up from restaurant host to manager in less than a year. All this while going to school and working part time. We hope to see him next month during his school break and we will celebrate Orthodox Christmas. If he had not come to America, he would probably be struggling with a telephone repair job, living with a wife, probably at least a child and have little or no hope for a great future. He is realizing the American dream and will probably take the citizenship test when he has the time. He has understood that the dream includes hard work and that there is no shortage of work available for those that want to work hard.

Congratulations to you and Alla for giving the boys the chance to succeed. That is what you have done for them.

[Indykittykeilah 18]

That is a beautiful testimonial and I am so happy for your family. And Alla is model gorgeous! You're a lucky and blessed man, no doubt.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Sergey was always the loveable nerd who was going to excell in school. Pasha was a social animal that had all the danger signs of having a troubled life prior to age 13. One of the big "pluses" Alla saw was when I told her it really was difficult for anyone under age 21 to buy alcohol here. Compared to Ukraine, where the "drinking age" is routinely ignored and groups of 13 year olds share liter bottles of beer on the street corners and bribe the local cops to go away with a few Grivnya.

I think, more than anything, we derailed Pasha's "social life" and in response to that he turned his attention inward and became a really good student. At least that is what his essay says. Although I thought he has been fairly popular and has a number of friends, it is nothing compared to his posse in Donetsk.

And when I say "sometimes" I am not referring to what I do for my family (which is ALWAYS worth it, I agree) but to life in general. I think a lot of what we do is not "worth it" compared to the good we can do with our families.

I was preparing for a meeting the other day when Pasha's school called. He had been dropped on his head in wrestling practice (guess he lost that match ) and they thought he should not drive home. "See ya, folks, gotta go, my son was hurt at school" I'll catch up on the meeting later, the meeting is one of those "not worth it" things in life.

Baron, your wife has brought you many blessings and pleasures, I am sure. Little Leonid will be one of the best

[baron555 934]

Baron, your wife has brought you many blessings and pleasures, I am sure. Little Leonid will be one of the best

You are correct Gary. Our only mutual regret is that we didn't meet up sooner.....but then again Leonid may not have dropped into her life as he did (tragically as his story is, tragically both in a good and bad sense).

He's maturing, as much as a 5-1/2 year old can very well.....gets high accolades on his academics at school, is still learning proper social manners (nothing bad) and is such a sponge.

We both keep feeding him all sorts of information because I know (only from my own background) and somewhere something will click and he will find his niche in life. I have no fear that he will be successful and grow to be a fine gentleman and hopefully a loving father of his own.

So right now the family discussions include the following topics:

1. Papa, please tell Santa I want a Eye (point two fingers at your eyes) - Pod ! (from a 5 year old)

2. Phil, when can we get our new whirlpool tub?

3. When I receive my money from my flat rental in Moscow, we can begin the kitchen remodel!

4. The two greenhouses you built are perfect and everything is growing very well, even in December in Chicago!

5. Where shall we park the travel trailer during our trip to the Badlands next summer?

6. Where can we park the travel trailer (with electric hookup for the AC for the dogs to stay inside while we tromps around outside) in the Smoky Mountains?

7. What wrestling tournament shall we enroll Leonid in?

You are totally correct. All that / this visa stuff is nothing compared to real life. Enjoy all.......we are !!!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

You are correct Gary. Our only mutual regret is that we didn't meet up sooner.....but then again Leonid may not have dropped into her life as he did (tragically as his story is, tragically both in a good and bad sense).

He's maturing, as much as a 5-1/2 year old can very well.....gets high accolades on his academics at school, is still learning proper social manners (nothing bad) and is such a sponge.

We both keep feeding him all sorts of information because I know (only from my own background) and somewhere something will click and he will find his niche in life. I have no fear that he will be successful and grow to be a fine gentleman and hopefully a loving father of his own.

So right now the family discussions include the following topics:

1. Papa, please tell Santa I want a Eye (point two fingers at your eyes) - Pod ! (from a 5 year old)

2. Phil, when can we get our new whirlpool tub?

3. When I receive my money from my flat rental in Moscow, we can begin the kitchen remodel!

4. The two greenhouses you built are perfect and everything is growing very well, even in December in Chicago!

5. Where shall we park the travel trailer during our trip to the Badlands next summer?

6. Where can we park the travel trailer (with electric hookup for the AC for the dogs to stay inside while we tromps around outside) in the Smoky Mountains?

7. What wrestling tournament shall we enroll Leonid in?

You are totally correct. All that / this visa stuff is nothing compared to real life. Enjoy all.......we are !!!

Get the TUB first! Alla and I share a bath every night and prepare for bed and go to bed (naked) and that is where we do all our discussions of such things and I swear, Phil, nothing bothers me and it is impossible to have an argument in a hot bath with a beautiful naked woman. Can't be done! All potential scandal topics should be discussed naked in a hot bath! We do not go to bed separately and we do not plan it this way, it just is. There are times we are separate dby travel or work or whatever, but when we are home together (most of the time) we go to bed together. The few nights she stays up late to study I go to sleep on the sofa in her office and she wakes me when it is time for the bath.

As far as when we met, that thought passes through my mind often and scares me. The odds of Alla and I meeting were incalcuably small. I cannot regret it not being earlier or later or whatever, only thankful it happened. Everything has been good, ultimately. Not without challenges, not without difficulties, but all ultimately good, so who can say what would be better?

BTW our back porch was one of my summer projects a couple years ago. Sergey and Pasha helped me with it. We turned it into a glass enclosed "greenhouse" attached to the house, added it to the heating system, added a "powder room" and turned it into Alla's greenhouse/office with a private bathroom. In the winter the 3 walls are lined with shelving that holds all her plants which are then moved back outside in the spring. The boys got experience with just about every aspect of residential construction on that one project. Alla bugged out while we worked!

[TBoneTX 45,813]

Gary-Bone,

Beautifully stated, as always, si man, except for "you will forget about the visa nonsense." Mrs. T-B.'s interview is Monday, the oath ceremony may be Tuesday, and by Wednesday I'll be composing an after-visa complaint to the State Department about our treatment by the ####### Guayaquil consulate, which is still pulling its monkeyshines. My words will make the keyboard melt at no lower a vulcanizing temperature now, 4.5 years later, than they would have at the time.

Edited December 6, 2012 by TBoneTX

[james&olya 1,121]

Congratulations Gary and family. I know exactly what you mean. I have a son and daughter that are reinforcing those same life lessons for me! Yes, life is good!

[AmyWrites 593]

Your family is inspiring to all international families, at least, it should be. Congrats on your successes.

It looks like I might be moving to Vermont with Max so there'll be one more RUB/USC family there.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Gary-Bone,

Beautifully stated, as always, si man, except for "you will forget about the visa nonsense." Mrs. T-B.'s interview is Monday, the oath ceremony may be Tuesday, and by Wednesday I'll be composing an after-visa complaint to the State Department about our treatment by the ####### Guayaquil consulate, which is still pulling its monkeyshines. My words will make the keyboard melt at no lower a vulcanizing temperature now, 4.5 years later, than they would have at the time.

Good luck to Mrs. T-B So fast for the ceremony, good deal! We had to wait 2 months! They only have 4 ceremonies per year in Vermont, one for each quarter.

You GO! TBone! I hope you get it across to them, that was just wrong and a citizen should not have to tolerate that from their own government. And again, congratulations to you for perservering and never giving up. Mrs. T-B has a good man.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Your family is inspiring to all international families, at least, it should be. Congrats on your successes.

It looks like I might be moving to Vermont with Max so there'll be one more RUB/USC family there.

Vermont is COOL! Especially in December!

Where in Vermont?

As you come here, Sergey is in Texas (my home state) Dasha will be joining him there in January and Pasha is going heavily on applications for Texas schools. #######???

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Gary-Bone,

Beautifully stated, as always, si man, except for "you will forget about the visa nonsense." Mrs. T-B.'s interview is Monday, the oath ceremony may be Tuesday, and by Wednesday I'll be composing an after-visa complaint to the State Department about our treatment by the ####### Guayaquil consulate, which is still pulling its monkeyshines. My words will make the keyboard melt at no lower a vulcanizing temperature now, 4.5 years later, than they would have at the time.

Yours is one of the few cases where the visa was not nonsense, T-Bone and I guess I should always note that exception. Most of the whining and complaining is because something or another took 3 weeks longer than planned (by someone that should not have been planning), not the malicious abuse you had to endure.

Your case has always inspired me and left me a little sheepish in that we, those going through Kiev and Moscow and Warsaw, have things rather easy compared to what others face.

Congratulations!