Do you use a Baby forum

[The Mean Lady 604]

Luckily I have insurance now, so I'll be seeing a new doctor.

Though not for a while since apparently my normal OBGYN (at least what my HMO thinks is normal) is booked until end of jan.

And so is every other OBGYN in the entire hospital (#######?)

One of the GPs in my doctor's office, however, was an OBGYN so I'm going to be talking to her in 2 weeks about switching birth controls and perhaps going off of it completely.

Not with the intention of getting pregnant, but because the pill seems to have crushed my libido.

I've been on the pill for 12 years, so even when we decide to get pregnant, I know it will be quite a wait.

My only fear, however, is that this doctor is very 'holistic' so i'm afraid she won't even give me options that MIGHT work and just push push push getting off of it completely and "knowing your cycle"

I started taking the BC when I was 15 because I was having 8-9 day long cycles and they were coming every 3 weeks.

When I was off of it last year for about 10 months (no insurance, no doctor, no prescription) it seemed to have regulated itself to every 4 weeks so I can put up with the 8-9 days since even ON the pill, they go that long (ridiculous)

ANYWAYS, hoping the GP-used-to-be-an-OBGYN doctor can at least inspect my pelvic region and tell me if this is still a concern as obviously I would have to make extensive plans for working while still pregnant as I am the only provider in my house.

Also, V&T, I share your joy of research. Even if something is not applicable to my current situation, I want to know as much as possible about it. I think I occasionally bug the people on here asking questions about NVC and future paperwork given that I'm MONTHS out of needing those things, but I just like to be prepared. I love to know the answer the MOMENT the question pops into my mind lol. At least then I can be prepared for an answer that I don't like.

Edited December 5, 2012 by KDubovik

[Novembro 1,763]

(Fervently) Can you PLEASE reserve such discussions for personal messages?

Wo. Touchy, touchy!

My issue with him had absolutely nothing to do with his suggestion to stop birth control.

My issue was my concern with my body's inability to carry a child and he didn't want to answer any more questions from me.

My uterus is very low and a previous OBGYN told me offhandedly when I was about 19 that I would have trouble not being bedridden after 5 months.

At the time, obviously I couldn't care less as I was not interested in having children at the time.

I wanted to talk with my OBGYN about this but he sent me away.

He also did not do the tests I asked him for either.

I'm sorry for not understanding correctly at first! That's awful! I think I am spoiled with my OBGYN, as she is absolutely fabulous.

Really Tbone? Do discussions on birth control freak you out? I think it's great to let everyone know. You'd be surprised how many people had never heard of Implanon till I told them that's what I'm "on". It's a hormonal rod in my arm. Yes I'm scarred from insertion of 2, and removal of 1, but it's seriously the best kind of birth control I've ever had.

I had Implanon, too! It was AMAZING. However, my body decided to eat the piece of plastic, thus creating a huge issue for removal. I ended up in the hospital with 4-5 docs surrounding me and my arm sliced open. Needless to say, I am done with that and went back on depo. Every three months is no biggie.

[The Mean Lady 604]

I had Implanon, too! It was AMAZING. However, my body decided to eat the piece of plastic, thus creating a huge issue for removal. I ended up in the hospital with 4-5 docs surrounding me and my arm sliced open. Needless to say, I am done with that and went back on depo. Every three months is no biggie.

/faint

[The Mean Lady 604]

See? Doctor is so useless to me it took me googling while the internet was out at work (I work remote so I can't get onto my computer at work) to find out I meant my CERVIX is low, not my uterus.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I had used babyandbump but found the women to be super catty and judgmental of anyone who didn't agree with their lifestyle choices.

I like the forum on mothering.com, but it can be a little crunchy and not as active as some other ones.

We use Natural Family Planning with condoms for unsafe days, so we just kind of stop whenever we want.

My husband is really wanting to get back to trying, but this immigration stuff has kind of got in the way of that (I don't want to give birth in Denmark or end up having to push back POE because I'm 9 months pregnant and can't fly). Maybe after NOA2 or somewhere in the NVC stage, we can get back to it?

What to Expect When You Are Expecting is ok, but it wasn't helpful at all with my pregnancy. I just googled stuff.

For trying to get pregnant or know your body better or for Natural Family Planning, I highly suggest "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". It is an amazing book.

meetup.com is good or just chatting up other moms on the playground, etc.

Edited December 5, 2012 by Nola123

[*Snowdrop* 604]

I used The Bump a lot - I liked that they had different forums for each trimester and beyond which gave you the chance to chat to those going through exactly what you were and also you could pop into the other forums to ask for advice about the next stage.

For nutrition ahead of getting pregnant, during pregnancy and for the baby I recommend this book: Real Food for Mother and Baby

http://www.amazon.com/Real-Food-Mother-Baby-Fertility/dp/1596913940/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1354743712&sr=8-1&keywords=real+food+for+mother+and+baby

For child development I disagree with rlogan in pushing children to achieve the regular milestones before they are ready - particularly the physical ones. I follow the RIE approach which you can read more about here: http://www.rie.org/educaring and this post explains the benefits from letting small infants and toddlers develop their gross motor skills in their own time http://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/04/sitting-babies-up-the-downside/

[VanessaTony 3,567]

For child development I disagree with rlogan in pushing children to achieve the regular milestones before they are ready - particularly the physical ones. I follow the RIE approach which you can read more about here: http://www.rie.org/educaring and this post explains the benefits from letting small infants and toddlers develop their gross motor skills in their own time http://www.janetlansbury.com/2012/04/sitting-babies-up-the-downside/

I met a man many years ago who was ALWAYS carrying his child. She was pretty old as well, over a year if i remember right. I asked him once if he'd like to put her down to run around while we talked. He told me that no, he doesn't want her walking yet because if kids walk to early they become knock-kneed or bow-legged. First I'd ever heard about that.

[rlogan 2,036]

For child development I disagree with rlogan in pushing children to achieve the regular milestones before they are ready - particularly the physical ones.

See?

It isn't teaching them sooner. It's "Pushing before they are ready". That's always the attack used by people whose kids are so far behind ours: to characterize us as child abusers. We had no idea how malicious ignorant people can be, but we've learned. If they weren't malicious, they would choose neutral language.

Karen Adolph's work demonstrates that people ignorant of other cultures just assume their culture has it right and anyone doing it different from the average in their own culture is doing it wrong. Many African cultures learn to walk far sooner than the U.S. simply because they teach them sooner.

By their standards our kids are motor morons. By our standards they're all a bunch of child abusers pushing them before they are ready.

That's exactly the lesson I wanted to share with people if they want better for their children than this U.S. system that has us in 25th place and 21st place in Math and Science. Your parental cohorts are looking at the US children doing so appallingly bad and deciding that is "normal". If you take the time to teach your kids you are going to earn the resentment of other parents, and they'll say you pushed your kids too hard.

But your kids are up against the Japanese, the Germans, and all of the other industrialized countries that are blowing ours out of the water. Even if your kids are the best in the room they're still behind a lot of children in other industrialized countries. In a global economy you cannot look to the poor performers around you as the example to live by. Do expect the poor performers to criticize you for being too far ahead. But when you score twice what they do on the SAT exams you can pat them on the back and say "I guess you just weren't ready".

[TBoneTX 46,311]

Really Tbone? Do discussions on birth control freak you out?

It's that a thread hypothetically for both men & women will turn into one solely for women, which this one has already.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

It's that a thread hypothetically for both men & women will turn into one solely for women, which this one has already.

You are aware that men take part in birth control too, no?

My husband knows the ins and outs of my cycle and charts with me, as he should. Men should bear the burden of family planning as much as women.

[TBoneTX 46,311]

My husband knows the ins and outs of my cycle and charts with me, as he should.

"Good for the both of you," is all that I will say.

[EminTX 131]

For trying to get pregnant or know your body better or for Natural Family Planning, I highly suggest "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". It is an amazing book.

I agree completely. I bought this book used for almost nothing on eBay and the information made changes in my life within a month. I was perimenopausal and the charting helped me to:

1. know when and if I was ovulating
   
2. know within HOURS that I was about to be visited by the cramp monster and her loveliness
   

That last one was worth every penny of the book and made me wish I had known about it decades earlier. No more preparing for a few days "just in case today's the day".

It also let me know exactly when I got pregnant (18 days of elevated temperature) and the section on sex selection let me know what the sex most likely was as soon as I was positive. (Ultrasound has proven that now.)

For foreign women, please be aware that here in the US, the custom is to only consult with a surgeon (an OB/GYN) and to never see someone who specializes in normal, un-drugged birth. Our section rate hovers around 40% now so if you see a surgeon, be very well aware that you are stating that you are electing to have a high change of surg (statistically). Expect to be coerced with repeated, "It's for the baby" semi-threats when you are uncomfortable with something or have questions. Using midwives and free-standing birthing centers will greatly increase your chances of a normal delivery, but the culture of insurance and obstetrics in this country is completely at odds with most of the developed world. EDUCATE YOURSELF to get the best outcome for your family.

Youtube can give you lots of reassurances with videos of a variety of types relating to pregnancy and childbirth. For example, I am not at all interested in freebirth (no healthcare whatsoever before, during, or after delivery), but seeing a few videos of women doing exactly that has eased my fears of being in labor and stranded in a flood/storm/hurricane/hostage situation/war/whatever-horror-is-on-the-latest-flick. Being pregnant brings out the cruel people who love to embellish their horror or brag about their rainbows-and-roses experience so be prepared to be freaked out by other people.

To the person above who was told that bedrest would be required, in clinical studies, it does NOT statistically improve the health of the mother or the infants or reduce the section rate. I don't disagree that it is appropriate sometimes, but it is proven to be overused and probably more of an OB type of "fashionable" CYA. You may, in fact, be a high risk patient from the get-go. But, then again, maybe that particular professional was not so right. Good luck in finding the right caregiver and information to have success.

(I had a very, very, VERY negative experience with my first pregnancy. I was sectioned at 9.5 cm's after having an epidural that only deadened my legs and a different mistake was made with anesthesia in the OR. No thanks. Oh, and after having an ultrasound every week with multiple confirmations of the baby being a girl, well, HE is now in college. It was a very hard lesson but I certainly learned it well.)

One last thing, this article has excellent information for anyone who plans to become a parent--quick to read, understand, and remember for future reference. Asking any potential pregnancy care provider about this uncommon but clinically-proven-to-be-beneficial practice might be a good "test" to see how s/he responds to questions and if s/he is willing to respect your rights to make decisions about your own and your baby's health.

Delayed cord clamping

(You could also ask questions about numerous other popular but uncommon practices too--asking if you would be allowed to keep the placenta is a good one. Warning--Do NOT google images about this if you are squeamish. Oh--and maybe you don't want to do anything with it, but many hospitals sell the placentas--you might not want that.)

[rlogan 2,036]

I've been asked by PM and want to point out to others that if you want the best information on early child developent, you won't find it with google in the dumbed-down popular literature or discussion boards.

Scientists produce journals that you either have to pay for a subscription for, or belong to a University as a professor or student. It is hard to even search for abstracts on google. A lot of universities will let the public log on to their library computers though, and use the electronic journal access for free.

So you can then e-mail articles to your home computer from a University library. Now you are in command of research material written by the top scientists in the world that run hundreds of infants at a time through these experiments in walking, swimming, obstacle courses, biking, reading, writing, etc.

I'm a retired professor so I do this for everything I am interested in. It puts you on the leading edge of science and it will be hard to even communicate with people reading popular literature. They don't even know what a peer-reviewed science journal is. It takes more work, yes, and the vocabulary is more difficult, and it helps a great deal to have had university level statistics courses. But if you want the best science instead of Reader's Digest level piffle, that's what you do.

[*Snowdrop* 604]

I met a man many years ago who was ALWAYS carrying his child. She was pretty old as well, over a year if i remember right. I asked him once if he'd like to put her down to run around while we talked. He told me that no, he doesn't want her walking yet because if kids walk to early they become knock-kneed or bow-legged. First I'd ever heard about that.

That seems like the other extreme - the RIE approach suggest not propping infants up before they are ready or holding them up by the arms to encourage them to walk before they are ready but it also encourages parents to let their children have lots of independent floor time - starting on their backs and letting them build the muscles at their personal pace to roll, turn over, pull themselves up, crawl, stand, cruise, walk and climb. Babies love to learn and explore and part of encouraging them to follow their own physical path is about learning to learn, and learning to achieve something under your own steam.

The RIE approach is about respect for your child and their development and is mainly aimed at babies and young toddlers. Some children will develop physically much faster than other, some reach verbal or mental milestones earlier. Some take longer. It's about taking cues from your child.

Here for example is a video of a pair of nine-month-old twins swimming - they are unusual in their development in this area but look how happy and content they are. And look how calm and gentle the parents are about their achievement.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-20581126

On the other hand I've seen some parents at our local swimming pool forcing their toddlers in the water to do swim classes with the child screaming and crying for the whole hour - some of them physically sick with the terror. That is not respectful parenting to me.

And rlogan - I did not attack you or call you a child abuser. I told you I disagreed with you and have a different parenting philosophy for my children, that's normal isn't it? Many parents disagree over different child rearing techniques. My way of life is about respect for others - I hope yours is too.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

That seems like the other extreme - the RIE approach suggest not propping infants up before they are ready or holding them up by the arms to encourage them to walk before they are ready but it also encourages parents to let their children have lots of independent floor time - starting on their backs and letting them build the muscles at their personal pace to roll, turn over, pull themselves up, crawl, stand, cruise, walk and climb. Babies love to learn and explore and part of encouraging them to follow their own physical path is about learning to learn, and learning to achieve something under your own steam.

The RIE approach is about respect for your child and their development and is mainly aimed at babies and young toddlers. Some children will develop physically much faster than other, some reach verbal or mental milestones earlier. Some take longer. It's about taking cues from your child.

Here for example is a video of a pair of nine-month-old twins swimming - they are unusual in their development in this area but look how happy and content they are. And look how calm and gentle the parents are about their achievement.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-20581126

On the other hand I've seen some parents at our local swimming pool forcing their toddlers in the water to do swim classes with the child screaming and crying for the whole hour - some of them physically sick with the terror. That is not respectful parenting to me.

I think this is the judgemental things that keep most people off of parenting boards. My daughter screams about a lot. If I didn't have her do anything anytime she screamed bloody murder, she would watch Netflix all day on my laptop, eat cookies, and still be using a diaper at 4. At 3 and a quarter I had enough, held her on the toilet every time until she used it - she screamed and wailed and you'd think I was abusing her. Same with the swimming - she screams and wails, but after 30 minutes she is fine and other days she'll jump right in.

Parents have to make choices over whether to allow their children to run away from new things and their fears or to confront them. As a parent, it is respectful of me to determine on my own what are valid 'fears' to be avoided (the big scary playscape at the mall with wild 8 year old ruffians or the Danish and Indian kids who endlessly assaulted and bullied her at her old school ) and which are to be confronted in order to gain valuable life and life-saving skills (swimming).

Parents have been parenting for millennia without guide books or scientific research. Do what feels right and what you think is right by your child and they will turn out just fine.