Do you use a Baby forum

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Tony and I will hopefully one day have kids. I enjoy research (goes well with my line of work and qualifications) so I'm interested in which forums (if any) any of you mummy's/mommy's or "to be" use, and which books you thought were just amazing.

There are so many sites but the 4 I'm looking at right now are (but I'm open to other suggestions):

1. http://www.babycenter.com/

2. http://babyandbump.momtastic.com/

3. http://www.thebump.com/

4. http://www.justmommies.com/

Book wise I pretty much only know of "What to Expect..." outside of that I haven't really looked (e-books are great too I'm hoping to get a new Kindle for Christmas )

Also, did you find Moms/Mum's groups using Meetup.com or FB or some other medium like hospital birthing classes?

I'd love some pointers that'll make it easier if/when the time comes... Thanks in advance!

Edited December 5, 2012 by Vanessa&Tony

[The Mean Lady 604]

My current "research" has only consisted of asking my obgyn if I should do anything to prepare. His only recommendation was to stop taking bc 2 to 3 months before we wanted to get pregnant. I am never seeing him again. I had legitimate inquiries about my ability to carry a child and he just shuffled me out of his office. I fear if I start reading websites then I want one even more =X

[VanessaTony 3,567]

My current "research" has only consisted of asking my obgyn if I should do anything to prepare. His only recommendation was to stop taking bc 2 to 3 months before we wanted to get pregnant. I am never seeing him again. I had legitimate inquiries about my ability to carry a child and he just shuffled me out of his office. I fear if I start reading websites then I want one even more =X

Totally understand! I've been broody for a while but Tony is only starting to get there. He worries mainly about money and providing well for the bubs. He's very much "the man is the provider" so he puts a lot of stress on himself about that and making sure I don't *have* to work once we have kids if I don't want to/can't.

I'm on Implanon atm (the rod in my arm) so nothing will happen till I get that out and I only just had it replaced in September when I was back in Aus ($20 to get it done there, a LOT MORE to get it done here 'cause I didn't have insurance at the time). I also had polycystic issues when I was in Aus but haven't been checked since being here so don't know if that's still a problem for me (though I don't expect it just *vanished* I'm not experiencing the pain I was when diagnosed so I'm hopeful ).

I'm also looking into how the maternity leave etc works here. I know there's FMLA but (what I didn't know till last week) is not EVERYONE is eligible for FMLA. I work in a small office so I'm not eligible, meaning there's nothing stopping them from letting me go after having the baby (they don't have to keep my job open). So I need to look into work from the home if they won't hold it open, or find solutions for me working from home for the same office, or coming in a couple of days a week and bringing bubs (again, small office so i think that would actually work when the baby is still under 4 months or so - not mobile)... or coming to terms with being okay with not having work for a while... irritating but you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm really hoping to keep my job just cut my hours back or bring the baby in but I understand that that's doesn't necessarily make me a desirable employee... so I think the next viable option would be to get a job working from home, just need to make the right connections to put my foot in the door with positions in my field

**Edit - Your comment about your OBGYN, I need to find one as well. My husband has changed jobs and so we have a new insurance carrier (we were BCBS and now we're UHC) so I need to find a regular doctor I like to make my "family doctor" (well don't *have* to but if we want kids I should probably go to the same doc so they have our history etc) and also an OB and all that fun stuff!

Edited December 5, 2012 by Vanessa&Tony

[Ontarkie 14,567]

I like thebump.com I've been on babycenter and babyandbump, but i just never felt like I fit there.

I like the breastfeeding forum, attachment parenting and the over 35 forums. My month forum is pretty good too but it is slowly dying since our little ones are 18months now.

@KDubovik - I'm surprised your OB didn't tell you to start prenatal vitamins before you get pregnant, not a good doctor a all.

If you have any concerns/history you may want to look into a reproductive endocrinologist they actually specialize with helping women get pregnant, OB's are for after you get pregnant.

[TBoneTX 46,311]

This site is just getting going and should be very good indeed:

http://www.parenthelpforums.com/forums

Even if you're not participating, bookmark it, si man.

[rlogan 2,036]

We read peer reviewed literature on early childhood development. Publications by Dr. Phil Zelazo, then at McGill Institute, were outstanding. Papers like "Walking in the Newborn".

We found that the popular literature was very antagonistic towards early childhood development. But the fact is in these studies they start walking exercises at three weeks old and swimming at four weeks. Obstacle courses, etc. We contacted the authors directly, like Karen Adolph at NYU and Zelazo too, and they were extremely gracious with us, sharing more publications with us and giving us a lot of warm encouragement.

Whereas people with no degrees, no training, no publications treated us like we were crazy people when we mentioned what we were doing, following these top scientists and their studies. Malicious internet stalkers actually called child protective services and they raided our home for "teaching to walk too early". If your child is too advanced, people will actually attack you and accuse you of abuse. Not because it is, but because people are that grossly ignorant and malicious.

But the result was having a two year old that is reading and has motor skills far in advance of his peers. A maturity that really surprises people. They think he is way older. The way the popular literature works is they look at whatever the average is and call that "normal" as opposed to looking at what is possible if you decide to be pro-active and train your kids.

The purpose of developing early motor skills is because a whole menu of mental skills flowers far earlier if they start locomoting earlier. Developing a mental map, routes, making decisions, weighing risk, thinking ahead, planning options, etc. We started the alphabet before they were born by singing the ABC song to them through mommy's tummy.

[Novembro 1,763]

My current "research" has only consisted of asking my obgyn if I should do anything to prepare. His only recommendation was to stop taking bc 2 to 3 months before we wanted to get pregnant. I am never seeing him again. I had legitimate inquiries about my ability to carry a child and he just shuffled me out of his office. I fear if I start reading websites then I want one even more =X

I think what he told you was true, however brusque it may have sounded. I know with many forms of bc you cannot conceive immediately after termination, thus resulting in wait times. It depends on what form of bc you use to decide that wait, though! It's also different for everyone, and a doctor can't really do anything to help it along

Is it too personal to ask what form of contraceptive you use? I'm fairly knowledgeable on bc.

[TBoneTX 46,311]

Is it too personal to ask what form of contraceptive you use? I'm fairly knowledgeable on bc.

(Fervently) Can you PLEASE reserve such discussions for personal messages?

[John&Juvy 36]

I use babycenter...

[The Mean Lady 604]

I think what he told you was true, however brusque it may have sounded. I know with many forms of bc you cannot conceive immediately after termination, thus resulting in wait times. It depends on what form of bc you use to decide that wait, though! It's also different for everyone, and a doctor can't really do anything to help it along

Is it too personal to ask what form of contraceptive you use? I'm fairly knowledgeable on bc.

My issue with him had absolutely nothing to do with his suggestion to stop birth control.

My issue was my concern with my body's inability to carry a child and he didn't want to answer any more questions from me.

My uterus is very low and a previous OBGYN told me offhandedly when I was about 19 that I would have trouble not being bedridden after 5 months.

At the time, obviously I couldn't care less as I was not interested in having children at the time.

I wanted to talk with my OBGYN about this but he sent me away.

He also did not do the tests I asked him for either.

Edited December 5, 2012 by KDubovik

[The Mean Lady 604]

@KDubovik - I'm surprised your OB didn't tell you to start prenatal vitamins before you get pregnant, not a good doctor a all.

If you have any concerns/history you may want to look into a reproductive endocrinologist they actually specialize with helping women get pregnant, OB's are for after you get pregnant.

I'm sure he probably mentioned folic acid, but I was looking for answers to questions that I didn't know, not ones I already knew.

My questions, as you see above, were not related to getting pregnant.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

(Fervently) Can you PLEASE reserve such discussions for personal messages?

Really Tbone? Do discussions on birth control freak you out? I think it's great to let everyone know. You'd be surprised how many people had never heard of Implanon till I told them that's what I'm "on". It's a hormonal rod in my arm. Yes I'm scarred from insertion of 2, and removal of 1, but it's seriously the best kind of birth control I've ever had.

[The Mean Lady 604]

Really Tbone? Do discussions on birth control freak you out? I think it's great to let everyone know. You'd be surprised how many people had never heard of Implanon till I told them that's what I'm "on". It's a hormonal rod in my arm. Yes I'm scarred from insertion of 2, and removal of 1, but it's seriously the best kind of birth control I've ever had.

WHAT?! I've never heard of that.

I've heard of an IUD.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

WHAT?! I've never heard of that.

I've heard of an IUD.

It's FABULOUS. Have you heard of the depo shot? (Depo-Ralovera, or Depo-Provera depending where you are) The Implanon rod is basically a rod form of that and it lasts 3 years. It's inserted under the skin of your upper inner arm (mines in my right arm 'cause I'm left-handed).

In my particular case I had the depo shot once to see how my body reacted to the hormones. Some people don't react well, they can menstruate the entire time they're on it, or get real moody and things like that. I personally didn't have any of those issues.

I'm extremely lucky in that I don't get mood swings, I don't menstruate (except for the first month I'm on it and maybe once, lightly and randomly in the middle of the 3 years). I did gain weight but I can't honestly say it's related to that given the life change of moving to the US as well I'm on my second rod now. You cannot see the rod (in some peoples cases you can when it's a shallow insert), and it doesn't hurt (of course it does ache in the beginning while it's settling in).

I love the rod. I can't speak highly enough of it. I recommended it to my niece who has extremely painful periods (she's in her 40's and has 2 kids). She's on the depo shot right now, testing it out. She did experience a little depression and is on a mood stabiliser but she said the lack of pain is worth taking a pill to stabilise her mood until nature takes care of birth control for her I don't like the idea of the IUD myself, of where it's inserted particularly, but others don't like the idea of where mine is either. My mum had an adverse reaction to an IUD and given my wariness of it anyway, I decided to give the rod a try. Never looked back

Edited December 5, 2012 by Vanessa&Tony

[Ontarkie 14,567]

I'm sure he probably mentioned folic acid, but I was looking for answers to questions that I didn't know, not ones I already knew.

My questions, as you see above, were not related to getting pregnant.

Oh wow, what a crappy Doctor, definitely time to see another OB.

Many of the sites listed have a high risk section, you maybe able to find someone with similar experience related to your questions and may get lucky and find a referral to the right OB