Been here two weeks and its soooo hard .....

[scotinmass 588]

ps: I'm planning a trip home this year and I can't wait!! A decent loaf of bread and some REAL bacon and cheese...!!

I'm going home next week for Christmas. I'll arrive about breakfast time and my mother is going to have a fry up ready for me. Real bacon, black pudding, tattie scones, beans! Mmmmmmm!

[scotinmass 588]

My husband is completely baffled by my reactions - he thinks I am the luckiest woman in the world to be in America in a nice house!!

I can't tell you how many times I've heard Americans make comments about immigrants coming here for a better life. They have that "America is number 1" attitude when most of them have nothing to compare it to cos they've never left. We never came here for a better life. Our life was pretty good. We came here to be with someone we love.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I can't tell you how many times I've heard Americans make comments about immigrants coming here for a better life. They have that "America is number 1" attitude when most of them have nothing to compare it to cos they've never left. We never came here for a better life. Our life was pretty good. We came here to be with someone we love.

I think it comes from two places in that we do sometimes have some misguided patriotism and also that many many immigrants do actually come for a better life. A fair portion of the British side of my family has done anything possible to come to America or Australia in the last 20-30 years and most certainly not out of love. Our life in America is going to much better in a lot of ways, but also worse in other ways.

Regardless of the reasons behind it, it is a very irritating position for an American spouse to be taking and rather unsympathetic to their wife or husband. I think if my husband had been unable to see why I was really struggling in Denmark our marriage wouldn't have lasted very long (we probably wouldn't have even gotten married in the first place).

I seriously think all Americans should have to go live for 6 months or more in their spouse's country to get some perspective on these things.

[Holly2234 66]

I seriously think all Americans should have to go live for 6 months or more in their spouse's country to get some perspective on these things.

My husband lived in the UK with me for just short of 2 years and it has really helped because he is more understanding of some of my feelings and we really do have a better life in America! But because we went through it all together in both countries, we are on the same page and nobody is pulling in opposite directions to their own country. We have tried both and we know where the best place for our family to settle is now.

[Mr. Borkström 63]

True Brit, I too am nervous about the traffic situation. My wife lives in Pittsburgh, PA, a city that's much bigger than the town I am from (Västerås, Sweden has about 130,000 people, give or take) and I am moving on December 23. I do not have a drivers license, I've always gotten by very well without one. Västerås has good enough public transportation (and I have always used my bicycle a lot) whereas the bus system in Pittsburgh seems downright terrible. My wife lives in a neighborhood that's maybe 15 minutes from downtown by car, and they hardly have any bus service at all on Sundays for example. I'm not especially happy about having to get a drivers license, but I can't see myself living a normal life without one once I move to America.

I am a bit worried about knowing so few people in my soon-to-be hometown. I fear that I will be following my wife around like a puppy. lol

That said, I know of a couple more Scandinavians in Pittsburgh, people I have come in contact with here on VisaJourney.com. Once I have settled in a bit I think I'm going to contact them and see if they want to get together over lunch or coffee or something. Just to meet people from my own country/region. I think that would be nice. Since they will have been there longer than me, they may be able to give me tips and ideas on how to adjust better to my new surroundings. And the language of course. It may not be the same as you since English is your first language (I assume), but for me, that's something I am a bit worried about, that I will lose my own first language, because as much as I want to assimilate well, I don't want to do it at the expense of my own culture, heritage and identity, which I am sure will be even more important to me in my new country (I think I will always see myself as Swedish first, even if I live to be a hundred and stay in the US till the day I die).

Sorry for the long-winded reply. Unfortunately sometimes I get a little carried away. What I wanted to do was suggest that maybe you can see if you can find some ex-pat Brits in your area.

Fingers crossed for you.

PS. Use VJ as a place to vent. Talk with your husband, but don't hesitate to come here too to vent. Personally I think it's good to vent every once in a while, and people here know what you're going through. VJ is a great support system!

[rlogan 2,036]

I can't tell you how many times I've heard Americans make comments about immigrants coming here for a better life. They have that "America is number 1" attitude when most of them have nothing to compare it to cos they've never left. We never came here for a better life. Our life was pretty good. We came here to be with someone we love.

Well, it's worse than that because you'd think Americans could read since they fashion themselves as so "exceptional". But ignorance is invincible.

12th in per capita income, educationally now below two dozen other industrialized countries, the world's largest purveyor of state terror - the only thing we are number one in the world for now is military spending, the number of wars we are in, the number of people we kill, and the number of refugees we create.

[MR193 2]

And i got a pair of shoes for my birthday AND going to sort out my SSN next week so my constant pestering paid off

Happy belated Birthday !!!I went to order my SSN on friday the 15th .. just after I got my EAD so if I'm just as lucky as you I might get it before Christmas ...

[MR193 2]

True Brit, I too am nervous about the traffic situation. My wife lives in Pittsburgh, PA, a city that's much bigger than the town I am from (Västerås, Sweden has about 130,000 people, give or take) and I am moving on December 23. I do not have a drivers license, I've always gotten by very well without one. Västerås has good enough public transportation (and I have always used my bicycle a lot) whereas the bus system in Pittsburgh seems downright terrible. My wife lives in a neighborhood that's maybe 15 minutes from downtown by car, and they hardly have any bus service at all on Sundays for example. I'm not especially happy about having to get a drivers license, but I can't see myself living a normal life without one once I move to America.

I am a bit worried about knowing so few people in my soon-to-be hometown. I fear that I will be following my wife around like a puppy. lol

That said, I know of a couple more Scandinavians in Pittsburgh, people I have come in contact with here on VisaJourney.com. Once I have settled in a bit I think I'm going to contact them and see if they want to get together over lunch or coffee or something. Just to meet people from my own country/region. I think that would be nice. Since they will have been there longer than me, they may be able to give me tips and ideas on how to adjust better to my new surroundings. And the language of course. It may not be the same as you since English is your first language (I assume), but for me, that's something I am a bit worried about, that I will lose my own first language, because as much as I want to assimilate well, I don't want to do it at the expense of my own culture, heritage and identity, which I am sure will be even more important to me in my new country (I think I will always see myself as Swedish first, even if I live to be a hundred and stay in the US till the day I die).

Sorry for the long-winded reply. Unfortunately sometimes I get a little carried away. What I wanted to do was suggest that maybe you can see if you can find some ex-pat Brits in your area.

Fingers crossed for you.

PS. Use VJ as a place to vent. Talk with your husband, but don't hesitate to come here too to vent. Personally I think it's good to vent every once in a while, and people here know what you're going through. VJ is a great support system!

I'm Swedish too but I lived in England(in limbo) for 20+ years where I moved to as an adult. My US husband first came over to visit me in England 11 years ago and didn't used his return ticket . I think I understand how he felt in the beginning as I'm trying to plant my feet in this country as well after we arrived here in the summer. you dont have to worry about loosing your Swedish roots or accent as I haven't been living in Sweden since the 80s but still speak as good Swedish as any Swede. Our traditions are spread amongst friends and neighbours where ever I go. Any Swede thats speaks Swedish with an American accent after being here for a few years is putting it on lol. I'm now teaching our US friends to make Swedish Christmas decorations, bake 'pepparkaka' and make Swedish mulled wine.

[MR193 2]

Hi True Brit,

I understand you situation as it can be frustrating not being able to get any where because of lack of transport. When I got here in the summer we only had one truck and my husband used it for work.(I'm Swedish but lived and worked in England for the last 20+ years) This is the second time I have to settle down in a new country and there has been days when I felt I was treated like I didn't belong any where . Too long since I lived in Sweden, Always been treated as a foreigner in England and now trying to fit into a new country's expectations. The worst thing is filling in all these documents and hoping you have done things right . But it appears to be right up til now . Interview in Buffalo on the 15th jan. another thing that people dont understand is that a second car can be very costly if you only have one person working. We live in NY state , own a large Historic house which we have to pay a fortune in taxes for. I have felt awful not being able to work over these last months so I'm so excited when I received my EAD in the post on friday. I'm taking my applications to the local hospitals this week and they hope to get me started within a month I keep in touch with people on FB where it started of with 2 local American friends to 50+ friends in a few months. I volunteer with a few organisations 'foodbank', Hospital etc. Sometimes volunteers can help to do things online aswell so you could do the work from home. When you get to know more people in the Organisation they might be willing to pick you up to meet others or do on site work. If you do craft , you could phone the local School to say that you can help with Fairs,raffle prices,other events.Tell them you don't have any transport and there might be someone that could give you a lift. You could help children with English and Maths. You might even be close enough to cycle there as I cycled 10 miles regularly when I didn't have a car to use. I also restore Vintage clothes and sell online plus working on our house .Friends also ask me to do alterations for them. Look at your assets and skills and find a way to use this to make your everyday more fulfilled. Try to talk to your closest neighbours. You might get on really well. It would be really nice if we can set up groups for monthly meetings in most states so people can help eachother beat the loneliness and boredom. Contact me any time I wish you all the luck

Edited December 16, 2012 by MR193

[MR193 2]

I think it comes from two places in that we do sometimes have some misguided patriotism and also that many many immigrants do actually come for a better life. A fair portion of the British side of my family has done anything possible to come to America or Australia in the last 20-30 years and most certainly not out of love. Our life in America is going to much better in a lot of ways, but also worse in other ways.

Regardless of the reasons behind it, it is a very irritating position for an American spouse to be taking and rather unsympathetic to their wife or husband. I think if my husband had been unable to see why I was really struggling in Denmark our marriage wouldn't have lasted very long (we probably wouldn't have even gotten married in the first place).

I seriously think all Americans should have to go live for 6 months or more in their spouse's country to get some perspective on these things.

My husband came over to UK to live with me for 11 years before we moved over here this year( I'm Swedish so it wasn't my home country, but still a difficult situation!!). So yes, I do think he understands how I feel

[MR193 2]

I'm going home next week for Christmas. I'll arrive about breakfast time and my mother is going to have a fry up ready for me. Real bacon, black pudding, tattie scones, beans! Mmmmmmm!

My husband likes the Scottish fry ups best as his Grandmother was born in Glasgow and moved over here as a child, but she still kept up the Scottish cooking traditions

[Mr. Borkström 63]

I'm Swedish too but I lived in England(in limbo) for 20+ years where I moved to as an adult. My US husband first came over to visit me in England 11 years ago and didn't used his return ticket . I think I understand how he felt in the beginning as I'm trying to plant my feet in this country as well after we arrived here in the summer. you dont have to worry about loosing your Swedish roots or accent as I haven't been living in Sweden since the 80s but still speak as good Swedish as any Swede. Our traditions are spread amongst friends and neighbours where ever I go. Any Swede thats speaks Swedish with an American accent after being here for a few years is putting it on lol. I'm now teaching our US friends to make Swedish Christmas decorations, bake 'pepparkaka' and make Swedish mulled wine.

Ugh! Glögg! Yuuuuuuck!

If you wanna get in touch with other Scandinavians, I may recommend this thread: Scandinavians

I'm going to try to pass stuff like Midsommar on to my circle of of family & friends in my new country.

Edited December 16, 2012 by Mr. Borkström

[MR193 2]

Ugh! Glögg! Yuuuuuuck!

If you wanna get in touch with other Scandinavians, I may recommend this thread: Scandinavians

I'm going to try to pass stuff like Midsommar on to my circle of of family & friends in my new country.

Yep We will have a big Midsummers party by the Chemung River!! any excuse for a party

Thanks for the link !

[Holly2234 66]

Happy belated Birthday !!!I went to order my SSN on friday the 15th .. just after I got my EAD so if I'm just as lucky as you I might get it before Christmas ...

Thanks! Hopefully yours will come soon. Mine arrived after 4 days. They printed it within 3 and it got to me in one day.

[Mr. Borkström 63]

Thanks for the link !

Ingen orsak.