Been here two weeks and its soooo hard .....

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

Here's my take:

8.) I need to disagree with the repeated statements that driving is NECESSARY. No, it is usually easier, but no one drove here in this great country 113 years ago and many people still don't drive today. Most of those people live in major metropolitan areas, but to state it is necessary is insulting to the people who never drive. I have a neighbor in her 80's now who has never driven. She moved to Houston from New York about 30 years ago. Before I moved to Houston, I, personally, did not drive for about 5 years while I worked myself out of poverty when my son was tiny. It was frustrating, but certainly do-able. (The first vehicle I bought was about 3000$--that was 15 years ago. My son just bought a 2002 Ford Taurus for 3000$ this summer.)

I have to disagree with this broad statement. What if you lived to the county south of you and not in the city? Let's say West Columbia. I don't think it would be safe to walk 17 miles into Angleton along a rural highway to go to the Social Security office or Driver License office. Google maps suggests it would take over 5 hours walking so part of the journey would be in the dark at this time of year.

Seriously?

(113 years ago, I would have had a horse and no massive 18 wheelers whizzing by.)

[*Snowdrop* 604]

I have to disagree with this broad statement. What if you lived to the county south of you and not in the city? Let's say West Columbia. I don't think it would be safe to walk 17 miles into Angleton along a rural highway to go to the Social Security office or Driver License office. Google maps suggests it would take over 5 hours walking so part of the journey would be in the dark at this time of year.

Seriously?

(113 years ago, I would have had a horse and no massive 18 wheelers whizzing by.)

Exactly this. Before I moved to the US, I lived in London and didn't own a car for 8 years. Public transport and cabs were all I needed - I used to walk to work every day which took 50 minutes. Now we live 25 minute drive from the nearest town. There's no way I could do either the grocery shopping or take my toddler to pre-school without a car. I do walk across the fields of our farm to visit my mother-in-law though.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Exactly this. Before I moved to the US, I lived in London and didn't own a car for 8 years. Public transport and cabs were all I needed - I used to walk to work every day which took 50 minutes. Now we live 25 minute drive from the nearest town. There's no way I could do either the grocery shopping or take my toddler to pre-school without a car. I do walk across the fields of our farm to visit my mother-in-law though.

:rofl: I learned that the hard way.. Years ago I moved to London - Richmond really - and took my cars with me.. Needless to say I shipped but one car back, and used it mostly for trips to the country or to the continent. I was easier and faster to take a cab to the station and get on a fast train to Waterloo where the tube would take me anywhere in central London.

[True Brit 10]

Ooooh now I feel a little bit homesick after reading the last two posts. I found owning a car in London a positive liability - nowhere to park - congestion charges - congestion! The buses were amazing, the bus stops close by and I used to travel the tube the whole day on a One Day Travel Pass when I first moved to London just to get to know the area. But of course it's not like that in rural England any more than it is in rural America. In rural Shropshire, where my parents live, the public transport system is virtually non-existent.

[EminTX 131]

What if you lived to the county south of you and not in the city?

I DID live in the county south of the one that I live in now. During that time, for more than one year, we did not have electricity, either. I was a student in college and would leave the house in the very early dark to hike to the nearest bus stop regardless of the weather--rain, sleet, bugs, or whatever. We got home when it was quite dark during the winter months, also. I did my studying by dragging a lawnchair out under the streetlight that, blessedly, was in the street in front of the house. It was a very dark time in our lives in many ways. My son was too young to remember that at all which was my intention at the time.

I did not go to the social security office. I had to go to the welfare office, WIC, and court. If I could not bum a ride, I simply did not go and we prearranged another date, when possible. Period. We did without a lot of things and tolerated a lot of situations that hopefully I'll never had to deal with again. (Beans and rice and rice and beans and oranges picked from a neighbor's tree was the main nutrition that winter.)

As I stated before, it is not so easy, but the many people who prove that it is possible show just how condescending such a claim is. Having a vehicle is NICE. It is certainly NOT necessary.

Back to the OP, you don't have a vehicle now, until you get one, it is good to explore your options and know what you can do to get things done. Telling her that she simply can't survive without one does not help her RIGHT NOW.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Ooooh now I feel a little bit homesick after reading the last two posts. I found owning a car in London a positive liability - nowhere to park - congestion charges - congestion! The buses were amazing, the bus stops close by and I used to travel the tube the whole day on a One Day Travel Pass when I first moved to London just to get to know the area. But of course it's not like that in rural England any more than it is in rural America. In rural Shropshire, where my parents live, the public transport system is virtually non-existent.

Here is my two-cent worth...

After all the anxiety, the wait, the anticipation and the insecurity associated with having your life put through a microscope so you could get your US visa, you now, find yourself here and the 'here' can be somewhat anti-climatic. So after months of going through a seemingly endless process you made it and now here you are. It is only natural that you might feel a little depressed, or sad or homesick, whatever you call it.

You now have a new country and a new life - which do not preclude the existence of a previous country and life, nor are they exclusive thereof. It will take some time to learn - or translate - your old life into the new one. Try to find a newsstand that sells cigarettes, liquor, magazines, stamps and milk, in the US, and you will understand what I mean...

Give yourself time. Be patient with yourself. You will come out just fine at the other end.

[Holly2234 66]

I have to disagree with this broad statement. What if you lived to the county south of you and not in the city? Let's say West Columbia. I don't think it would be safe to walk 17 miles into Angleton along a rural highway to go to the Social Security office or Driver License office. Google maps suggests it would take over 5 hours walking so part of the journey would be in the dark at this time of year.

Seriously?

(113 years ago, I would have had a horse and no massive 18 wheelers whizzing by.)

I agree with you there Nich-Nick. I have never driven before at all. I lived in Nottingham city in the UK and while it was still a complete pain, everything was do-able. I didnt do it simply because i knew i couldnt afford a car once i passed the test.

Over here it is a completely different kettle of fish. Before i could still get anywhere i wanted, now i cant. Im stuck in a small town where people wear pajamas to the store (sorry anybody that does that!). I cant even get to the social security office and to get there i have had to beg and plead for somebody to take me and now they are, i have to sit in between two toddlers on a 100 mile round trip. My idea of hell. But the first thing i HAVE to do when it arrives is go to the DMV (thankfully i live across the street from that!) and get my permit. I may be nervous about learning to drive for the first time in a new country but it is so essential that i have to get over any fears i have.

It makes me feel like the trampy poor one walking everywhere because nobody does that. I had a man shout out of his car window the other day about me walking in the cold with my daughter. I had no choice. My husband works ALL day so if i need something, i have no choice. When the snow comes (and stays) that is my outside life over with until the spring.

So, to anybody who thinks their foreign husband/wife doesnt need to drive or is not in a hurry to get a car sorted for them - that is how it feels.

[Donna & Paul 4]

Paul's EAD is coming in the next couple of days. We just got notice last night that it's in the mail. The FIRST thing we are doing when it arrives is going to get his driver's license. While I get what some are saying about being able to drive not being a necessity, if you can afford it, and if you can learn to do it, so much the better. It will give you a sense of freedom and independence. I think even those here in the US who have had to endure walking everywhere and bum rides from friends and neighbors(myself included) would agree that it sucks big-time to have to.

We will continue to be a one-car family for some time until we can afford to buy a second, but just having his license will make him feel better.

Edited December 6, 2012 by Donna & Paul

[scotinmass 588]

You are kidding!!! What year if you dont mind my asking? I lived in Portree and had a small pony trekking centre!

July 8th 2009. 7/8/9. Easy date to remember.

We had some photos taken outside a hotel overlooking the harbour. An Italian couple asked if they could take some photos of us and then they said Amore. It was all very romantic. We love Skye. I've always wanted to live there. You are lucky.

[scotinmass 588]

Actually unlike the UK people in the US actually do mean it when they say they will be in touch for lunch etc. That's one of the nice surprises over here.

Setting up a blog for yourself can be very simple. Blogger.com is very user friendly for a beginner. Wordpress.com is also nice to use. PM me if you need any help with anything like that.

I agree. I am so used to people I worked with in the UK saying "we must go for a drink sometime" and it never happened. In the US I've found when someone says that they mean it. I have been out for a drink or a meal with various workmates more in the 3 years I've been here than I did in 20 odd years working in the UK. Americans tend not to be pretentious. They say what they mean and mean what they say.

[*Snowdrop* 604]

I agree. I am so used to people I worked with in the UK saying "we must go for a drink sometime" and it never happened. In the US I've found when someone says that they mean it. I have been out for a drink or a meal with various workmates more in the 3 years I've been here than I did in 20 odd years working in the UK. Americans tend not to be pretentious. They say what they mean and mean what they say.

LOL - I think in the UK it may be more about not wanting to offend anyone. I know I have said "Yes, we must meet up for a drink" but really not wanting to see the person again but not wanting to say that to their face. Sometimes it can be quite a relief when someone who says " Let's meet up" never calls you again!

[scotinmass 588]

I credit history is essential. If you do not have one you do not exist as far as financial things go. You can't get insurance if you don't have a good credit rating. When I got a job I opened a bank account. I worked for a few months and had my wages paid in to my account every week. I had something like $15,000 coming and going out that account over that time and I decided to apply for a credit card from them. I got a reply a few weeks later saying that I had been declined because according to the credit agencies I did not exist!

This actually helped though because when the bank checked with the credit agency it actually started an entry for me and from then on I did exist. I applied for a Capital One card and they gave me one. I only had a limit of $300 but it was a start. I used it even though I didn't need to and paid it off in full every month that way I avoided interest and it gave me a better score. I eventually applied for another one and another one and now I have 4 of them with limits in the thousands and a good credit rating. I've never paid interest because I pay the balance in full thus avoiding debt. The essential thing is to never miss a payment and never go near to your credit limit.

Driving licenses are not just essential to get around but they are used for ID. I've never had anyone just ask for ID. They always say "I need to see your driving license" It's just assumed that everyone has one because pretty much everyone does.

LOL - I think in the UK it may be more about not wanting to offend anyone. I know I have said "Yes, we must meet up for a drink" but really not wanting to see the person again but not wanting to say that to their face. Sometimes it can be quite a relief when someone who says " Let's meet up" never calls you again!

True so it's a shock when you say that to someone you don't like here and next thing you know you're trying to strike up a conversation over cocktails!

[True Brit 10]

July 8th 2009. 7/8/9. Easy date to remember.

We had some photos taken outside a hotel overlooking the harbour. An Italian couple asked if they could take some photos of us and then they said Amore. It was all very romantic. We love Skye. I've always wanted to live there. You are lucky.

Bosville Hotel? Cuillin Hills? Viewfield Hotel? Yes I was very lucky to have that experience in so many ways. One thing I will say mention though, we had a saying that when the rain eventually stopped the midges came out!!! Nothing is perfect

[scotinmass 588]

Bosville Hotel? Cuillin Hills? Viewfield Hotel? Yes I was very lucky to have that experience in so many ways. One thing I will say mention though, we had a saying that when the rain eventually stopped the midges came out!!! Nothing is perfect

It was on Bosville Terrace. It might have been a B and B. We weren't staying there. We just stole their view! We stood in their private car park and we thought they might be annoyed but the owners came out and wished us well and said it was a great idea taking photos from there. People are so nice.

We were staying in Mary's Cottages near Elgol. Crofts with thatched roofs. We met online and Diane went to Scotland so we could meet in person for the first time and I wanted to show her the best of Scotland so I took her to Skye and we stayed at Mary's Cottages for a few days so when we got married we just had to get married on Skye and stay in the same place.

Oh and there is nothing more ferocious than the Highland midge! I prefer the rain.

Edited December 6, 2012 by scotinmass

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I agree. I am so used to people I worked with in the UK saying "we must go for a drink sometime" and it never happened. In the US I've found when someone says that they mean it. I have been out for a drink or a meal with various workmates more in the 3 years I've been here than I did in 20 odd years working in the UK. Americans tend not to be pretentious. They say what they mean and mean what they say.

I think this honestly depends on the person/place. In Aus we'd say it not to offend people, but often with friends we wouldn't say it if we didn't mean it. Here in the US the few times people have said such a thing to me they 1. didn't follow through 2. I had to chase them up. In my opinion if you said "we should get together sometime" and I say "Okay give me a call and let me know" then it's on you to call, just as the reverse is true, and just as if I said "okay I'll call you to set something up" it's on me. I don't chase people who make those offers, it's up to them. I hate looking needy :S