Been here two weeks and its soooo hard .....

[Mr. Borkström 63]

I actually plucked up the courage to walk along the main roads (no sidewalks of course) to reach the County Library (a distance of two miles each way from the house) which I was desperate to join for books and dvds etc. It was scary, I have to admit, on some of the roads and I did get some funny looks from motorists as I stumbled along the lawns belonging to the 'posh people' which was the only place to walk at times but I did it and actually managed to reach the library and actually join! I had a bad moment coming back when I attempted to walk through a drive-in ATM to draw out some money (the only ATM I could find). I felt such an idiot frantically trying to work out which way to put the card in etc whilst looking anxiously round for cars! The 4 mile round trip was nothing compared to what I was used to walking in the UK, but people just do not expect pedestrians and seem to head straight for you and swerve at the last minute which is a bit disconcerting. Anyway, I got back to the house (note I don't say 'home') to find my sister in law had posted this video on my facebook page. I laughed and laughed my head off and so I would like to share it with my VJ friends in the hope that it cheers anyone up who feels a bit down at the moment. The humour is very 'British' so I apologise to those who find it completely incomprehensible!

Good job True Brit! Keep at it!

My wife's 12yo daughter gave me a look when we were at a mall and I was getting cash from an ATM and put the card in but didn't take it out again right away (in Sweden your card is in the machine until you're done with your transactions and then the machine spits the card out again right before you get your money). She looked at me like I was from a different planet or something. I think she asked my wife "Mom, do they have ATM's in Sweden?" LOL

PS. The video is hilarous!

Edited January 18, 2013 by Mr. Borkström

[Marilyn. 340]

Good job True Brit! Keep at it!

My wife's 12yo daughter gave me a look when we were at a mall and I was getting cash from an ATM and put the card in but didn't take it out again right away (in Sweden your card is in the machine until you're done with your transactions and then the machine spits the card out again right before you get your money). She looked at me like I was from a different planet or something. I think she asked my wife "Mom, do they have ATM's in Sweden?" LOL

PS. The video is hilarous!

there are some ATMs in the US where you do leave your card in the whole time. Like Wells Fargo Atm's

[scotinmass 588]

I actually plucked up the courage to walk along the main roads (no sidewalks of course) to reach the County Library (a distance of two miles each way from the house) which I was desperate to join for books and dvds etc. It was scary, I have to admit, on some of the roads and I did get some funny looks from motorists as I stumbled along the lawns belonging to the 'posh people' which was the only place to walk at times but I did it and actually managed to reach the library and actually join! I had a bad moment coming back when I attempted to walk through a drive-in ATM to draw out some money (the only ATM I could find). I felt such an idiot frantically trying to work out which way to put the card in etc whilst looking anxiously round for cars! The 4 mile round trip was nothing compared to what I was used to walking in the UK, but people just do not expect pedestrians and seem to head straight for you and swerve at the last minute which is a bit disconcerting. Anyway, I got back to the house (note I don't say 'home') to find my sister in law had posted this video on my facebook page. I laughed and laughed my head off and so I would like to share it with my VJ friends in the hope that it cheers anyone up who feels a bit down at the moment. The humour is very 'British' so I apologise to those who find it completely incomprehensible!

We have an abundance of sidewalks. I used to walk everywhere. When I first arrived I had a month before I found a job and a few times I walked to meet my wife for lunch at her work 8 miles away. I enjoyed it. The weather was perfect and I got to see and experience so much more of the place that I would have missed in a car. I did feel that I stood out a bit because nobody else was walking. My wife told me that when people see an adult walking they assume they are either a homeless person or someone that had a DUI and lost their license!

At first simple things like crossing a busy road used to intimidate me. I felt very much like the stranger in a strange land and everyone else belonged and I was an imposter. When I went into a shop on my own I felt awkward and paranoid. Was everyone watching me and looking down on me because I spoke funny.

These feelings gradually go away. Eventually it becomes home and normal. You realize that there are millions of immigrants just like me. Most don't have English as a first language and they survive. You also realize that Americans aren't some weird wonderful creatures from another galaxy. They are people just like me and just like the ones I lived comfortably with at home.

I used to have the "wow I'm in America" unreality kind of thought every 5 mins. I rarely think like that now. It's just home and it's just my everyday normal life.

My wife and I went to Scotland for Christmas and being there is starting to feel strange. I was happy to leave and happy to get back home.

I guess I'm turning American!

[Mark UK 3]

Hi everyone! I would be so glad to be able to share my feelings with people who have been/still are in a similar situation. I just hope I don't sound like a moaning, ungrateful woman! It just seems that after all the waiting, wading through paperwork, jumping through hoops to get approved; after all the stress of leaving family and friends and favourite possessions behind to get to the US to join my husband - I HAVE LANDED ON THE MOON!! My husband has a new, really demanding job and leaves the house at 6am - I always get up with him so that we can have a coffee together before he leaves. He arrives back around 7pm and I make sure I have dinner ready. I have no car at the moment and would probably be too scared to drive yet even if I had. There are no shops or any facilities within walking distance. The area is beautiful, the rental house is lovely and if I hadn't brought my two little dogs with me from the UK I think I would be hanging from a rope! I pleaded and threw my toys out of the pram until I got tv and the internet so I at least have this. But I have no idea how the US works - how to work out the new money thing - how to do a simple thing like buy a stamp and post a letter! I keep telling myself how lucky I am and trying to make the best of everything - the weather, for example, has been beautiful recently. Does anyone else remember feeling like this? Does it all come right in the end? I am a middleaged woman and had I been given the choice would rather not have made such a huge change later on in life. The things we do for love, eh? The trouble is that I am now beginning to feel apathetic and not wanting to do anything. Any fellow sufferers woes or good advice welcome!

A lot of what you're experiencing is normal. I bet you thought that coming from the UK, it would be much less a culture shock than if you'd come from China. Nope. Your comment about feeling like you've landed on the moon is a great one. Didn't Churchill say that the British and Americans are one people separated by a common language?

I've been here six years now and I do remember things being so completely different that I had to rely on my wife to guide me through a lot of day-to-day stuff. I got a job about a month after we got married and put a down payment on a car with some of the savings I'd brought over. It was then that I started to become less dependent on my wife for the simplest of things. I had my job, made my own friends, got to know how to make my way around.

It is a big culture shock (my wife understood that more when we made our first back to the UK - she felt the same as I did when I first moved here). But, ultimately, it's the same as everywhere else, just done slightly differently. You go to work to play the bills, you live for the weekends, you make friends, you travel, etc.

Having a British accent will help you more than you'd think, oddly...

[Holly2234 66]

Having a British accent will help you more than you'd think, oddly...

This is so true! I have a hunch thats how i managed to get my job.. They say i sound sophisticated And then had a man falling over himself to invite me to hang out with them all. Until i mentioned WHY i moved here (my husband) That was very amusing. I have never seen anybody back off so fast in my life! He is very sheepish around me now after he made a fool out of himself.

[markonline1 11]

My date of moving out is rapidly approaching, 10th March. It's still great to read all these comments. As much as I love the States, and it sounds I may have an advantage over some having been there loads of times over the alast 12 years, I know I'm gonna have some strange feelings when I move out. It's good to see that these feelings will be completely natural.

I was speaking to a mate on Facebook the other day who emigrated to Canada 5 or so years ago. His words to me, when you first arrive, it's a head ****. I guess you've just gotta get out there and get on with it.

[CB&RB 14]

Hi everyone! I would be so glad to be able to share my feelings with people who have been/still are in a similar situation. I just hope I don't sound like a moaning, ungrateful woman! It just seems that after all the waiting, wading through paperwork, jumping through hoops to get approved; after all the stress of leaving family and friends and favourite possessions behind to get to the US to join my husband - I HAVE LANDED ON THE MOON!! My husband has a new, really demanding job and leaves the house at 6am - I always get up with him so that we can have a coffee together before he leaves. He arrives back around 7pm and I make sure I have dinner ready. I have no car at the moment and would probably be too scared to drive yet even if I had. There are no shops or any facilities within walking distance. The area is beautiful, the rental house is lovely and if I hadn't brought my two little dogs with me from the UK I think I would be hanging from a rope! I pleaded and threw my toys out of the pram until I got tv and the internet so I at least have this. But I have no idea how the US works - how to work out the new money thing - how to do a simple thing like buy a stamp and post a letter! I keep telling myself how lucky I am and trying to make the best of everything - the weather, for example, has been beautiful recently. Does anyone else remember feeling like this? Does it all come right in the end? I am a middleaged woman and had I been given the choice would rather not have made such a huge change later on in life. The things we do for love, eh? The trouble is that I am now beginning to feel apathetic and not wanting to do anything. Any fellow sufferers woes or good advice welcome!

I am sorry you are having a hard time adjusting to the states. The money is a pain since all the bills are the same size and colour, but hopefully it will come to you. Maybe your husband can take you out and about on his days off and look into bus routes or local areas you can go shopping. If you get a call to go account thru skype you can call the UK unlimited for $6.99 a month so that may help too. I hope things get better and easier for you. I have lived in the US for 23 years now and I am used to it now but it took a while, so I know where you are coming from. I recently married my first love from the Uk and he is waiting to come over when we get our paperwork all done, so I hope he likes it when he moves over permanently. Good luck and hang in there.

[True Brit 10]

A lot of what you're experiencing is normal. I bet you thought that coming from the UK, it would be much less a culture shock than if you'd come from China. Nope. Your comment about feeling like you've landed on the moon is a great one. Didn't Churchill say that the British and Americans are one people separated by a common language?

I've been here six years now and I do remember things being so completely different that I had to rely on my wife to guide me through a lot of day-to-day stuff. I got a job about a month after we got married and put a down payment on a car with some of the savings I'd brought over. It was then that I started to become less dependent on my wife for the simplest of things. I had my job, made my own friends, got to know how to make my way around.

It is a big culture shock (my wife understood that more when we made our first back to the UK - she felt the same as I did when I first moved here). But, ultimately, it's the same as everywhere else, just done slightly differently. You go to work to play the bills, you live for the weekends, you make friends, you travel, etc.

Having a British accent will help you more than you'd think, oddly...

Yes, I can see what you mean about it all feeling the same eventually in terms of living an everyday life and though I can't even imagine it at the moment, so many people have said similar things that I know it must be true. I have found the Americans I have met to be very friendly and, just as you mention about the accent thing, keen to make conversation just to hear me talk!! One elderly lady said I sounded just like Julie Andrews!!! (Kill me now .......)

I just wonder if it makes a difference how old you are when you make the move. I spent three years in Paris when I was 20 and felt completely different about everything then. I can remember literally skipping through the metro feeling so free and alive (though after three years I 'knew' it was time to come 'home'). Now, to be honest, I feel secretly grumpy and resentful about having to learn everything new and always feel just a little bit uncomfortable and out of place. I still hate most of American tv (apart from Homeland and American Horror Story of course) and watch lots of UK soaps and stuff on Youtube and through using 'Hide My IP' sites - as recommended by my VJ pals. If I pretend to myself to be on holiday its much easier somehow - I can enjoy the experience of eating in diners and having calorie-loaded, peanut butter and ice cream shakes - mmmmmm! But I just can't help feeling that I will never really understand the American way of life and make the break from the UK in my head. I mean - not hanging your washing outside - what's that all about???!!! :-)

[True Brit 10]

I am sorry you are having a hard time adjusting to the states. The money is a pain since all the bills are the same size and colour, but hopefully it will come to you. Maybe your husband can take you out and about on his days off and look into bus routes or local areas you can go shopping. If you get a call to go account thru skype you can call the UK unlimited for $6.99 a month so that may help too. I hope things get better and easier for you. I have lived in the US for 23 years now and I am used to it now but it took a while, so I know where you are coming from. I recently married my first love from the Uk and he is waiting to come over when we get our paperwork all done, so I hope he likes it when he moves over permanently. Good luck and hang in there.

Thanks for your post - yours is an interesting story! Sadly there are no local buses here and no way to get to shops etc unless you drive which is something I have only just started to do. I was walking quite a lot until the recent bad weather and weathered the incredulous stares from motorists who either passed me within 6 inches or made an exaggerated swerve to the other side of the road when they saw me! I do hope your first love from the UK enjoys it when he gets here - at least you will be understanding having gone through the same thing yourself!

[True Brit 10]

My date of moving out is rapidly approaching, 10th March. It's still great to read all these comments. As much as I love the States, and it sounds I may have an advantage over some having been there loads of times over the alast 12 years, I know I'm gonna have some strange feelings when I move out. It's good to see that these feelings will be completely natural.

I was speaking to a mate on Facebook the other day who emigrated to Canada 5 or so years ago. His words to me, when you first arrive, it's a head ****. I guess you've just gotta get out there and get on with it.

Hey Mark the typing is going much better!

10th March still seems ages away to me. I just go day to day here now and measure each day here as successful if I have managed to get through it without being a total misery or unfavourably comparing the States to the UK out loud to my long-suffering husband! But I remember how the time galloped by in the UK once I had had my interview and knew I was coming here.

I so agree with your friend who said emigrating was a head **** - to me it totally is and we do it to ourselves! Oh well (sighhhh) maybe in a few years I will have become this incredibly well-rounded person from being out of my comfort zone and won't feel like crying like a pathetic twit when I come across a forgotten UK postage stamp in my purse!!

[True Brit 10]

We have an abundance of sidewalks. I used to walk everywhere. When I first arrived I had a month before I found a job and a few times I walked to meet my wife for lunch at her work 8 miles away. I enjoyed it. The weather was perfect and I got to see and experience so much more of the place that I would have missed in a car. I did feel that I stood out a bit because nobody else was walking. My wife told me that when people see an adult walking they assume they are either a homeless person or someone that had a DUI and lost their license!

At first simple things like crossing a busy road used to intimidate me. I felt very much like the stranger in a strange land and everyone else belonged and I was an imposter. When I went into a shop on my own I felt awkward and paranoid. Was everyone watching me and looking down on me because I spoke funny.

These feelings gradually go away. Eventually it becomes home and normal. You realize that there are millions of immigrants just like me. Most don't have English as a first language and they survive. You also realize that Americans aren't some weird wonderful creatures from another galaxy. They are people just like me and just like the ones I lived comfortably with at home.

I used to have the "wow I'm in America" unreality kind of thought every 5 mins. I rarely think like that now. It's just home and it's just my everyday normal life.

My wife and I went to Scotland for Christmas and being there is starting to feel strange. I was happy to leave and happy to get back home.

I guess I'm turning American!

[True Brit 10]

I loved your post above so thanks for that! My husband went misty-eyed at your photo too because he used to go to MIT and knows exactly where it was taken (or so he says!)

I can't believe you felt strange when you returned to Scotland for Christmas! I mean they do sensible things like putting out their washing when its dry and bringing it in five minutes later when it starts to rain - such an absorbing activity and such a great conversation piece too. I can remember, in Skye, people would wax lyrical about a windy day and say 'aye it's a great day for the washing'!! They wouldn't dream of using a tumble drier or anything so wasteful! I absolutely loved living in Scotland because I felt so at home with the people, their views and their way of life.

I wonder if I will ever be like you and 'turn American'? Honestly I absolutely can't imagine it but watch this space!

[scotinmass 588]

I loved your post above so thanks for that! My husband went misty-eyed at your photo too because he used to go to MIT and knows exactly where it was taken (or so he says!)

I can't believe you felt strange when you returned to Scotland for Christmas! I mean they do sensible things like putting out their washing when its dry and bringing it in five minutes later when it starts to rain - such an absorbing activity and such a great conversation piece too. I can remember, in Skye, people would wax lyrical about a windy day and say 'aye it's a great day for the washing'!! They wouldn't dream of using a tumble drier or anything so wasteful! I absolutely loved living in Scotland because I felt so at home with the people, their views and their way of life.

I wonder if I will ever be like you and 'turn American'? Honestly I absolutely can't imagine it but watch this space!

Part of the reason I was glad to leave Scotland was that we never get much time to ourselves. It is hectic and everyone wants us to visit them 2 or 3 times. We end up exhausted.

We have just booked a flight to go back in April and we are going to stay for 3 nights in a rental cottage just outside Portree. When we got married there we said we'd go back every year but we've not been back once. We're gonna spend some time with my son then go to Skye. If the rest of the family want to see us they know where we live. Planes fly both directions!

I love Boston. I've explored so much of it on foot that I'm now an accomplished tour guide.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

You can hang your laundry out to dry. Why not? The house I grew up in had an antique laundry line on a pole in the yard and we used it all the time.

[True Brit 10]

You can hang your laundry out to dry. Why not? The house I grew up in had an antique laundry line on a pole in the yard and we used it all the time.

Goodness that sounds so normal! In this State, absolutely no one does it. In fact I think it might even not be allowed - or at least that's what my husband told me and I haven't seen anyone else do it at all. When I told a neighbour I was going to put my laundry on drying racks in the conservatory (or Florida room as they seem to say here) she was horrified and said 'Now see we don't do that here - we just put it straight in the dryer'. Well sorry and all that, but mine IS going in the conservatory - it's a matter of conservation and principle!! :-)

[We have just booked a flight to go back in April and we are going to stay for 3 nights in a rental cottage just outside Portree. When we got married there we said we'd go back every year but we've not been back once. We're gonna spend some time with my son then go to Skye. If the rest of the family want to see us they know where we live. Planes fly both directions!

I love Boston. I've explored so much of it on foot that I'm now an accomplished tour guide.

How lovely for you! Give my love to Portree. April is one of the nicest times - you can get lovely weather (CAN I hasten to add!) and the midges haven't come out yet!!

I think I would love a place I could explore on foot too. Boston looks lovely.