Been here two weeks and its soooo hard .....

[scotinmass 588]

My husband likes the Scottish fry ups best as his Grandmother was born in Glasgow and moved over here as a child, but she still kept up the Scottish cooking traditions

Most Scottish food is a heart attack on a plate but it tastes so good.

[MR193 2]

Thanks! Hopefully yours will come soon. Mine arrived after 4 days. They printed it within 3 and it got to me in one day.

Got it on thursday Time for some hard work !!!!!

[True Brit 10]

Merry, merry Christmas to all my VJ friends who have posted on here - I appreciate your time, effort and support! We might be feeling a little bit homesick tonight spending Christmas without family and loved ones left in the UK but at least we have each other! Your replies have been so touching and I have loved reading them all. I hope today is truly lovely for you and that the New Year will bring us all happiness and contentment in our new lives. God bless you all! xx

[Mr. Borkström 63]

Merry, merry Christmas to all my VJ friends who have posted on here - I appreciate your time, effort and support! We might be feeling a little bit homesick tonight spending Christmas without family and loved ones left in the UK but at least we have each other! Your replies have been so touching and I have loved reading them all. I hope today is truly lovely for you and that the New Year will bring us all happiness and contentment in our new lives. God bless you all! xx

The same to you True Brit.

[izola 1]

I cheated a bit and didn't read all the replies. But I totally understand where the original post is coming from. When we moved to America the first time in 2006, we spent the first few weeks living with my husbands best friend and his family. I was going stir crazy and just had to get out of there. When we finally got our own apartment I still had to wait for my SSN. Being that I didn't have a drivers license, still don't actually, I didn't get around anywhere. Despite having been somewhat of a work out freak I couldn't muster up the energy to go to the gym in our apartment complex. I layed on the couch and felt extremely sorry for myself. I gained so much weight in those first few weeks that I don't even want to think about.

When I finally got my SSN I got lucky though. I applied for two jobs and I got both. The one I finally ended up staying with was fortunately enough for me, right on the only bus line available in my area so I never had to get a drivers license. And I have to say I lived there for 2 years that time and never ended up really needing a license. I took that one bus to and from work, when I did things with my co-workers I generally took the bus to work and went with them from there.

Perhaps it was easier for me being a Swede and moving to Minnesota, people were extremely welcoming (the ones that actually figured out I was an immigrant and not just talking a little odd). But during the first few weeks there I basically pondered every decision I had ever made and why the heck I ended up thinking living in america could possibly be a good idea. I doubt I've ever felt so sorry for myself in my life.

As far as language and accents go though, as I saw some people mentioning here at the end. One of my friends, Swedish woman, had lived in the US for most of her adult life and being that she has a "bad ear for language" she now speaks bad Swedish, and to be honest - sometimes equally bad english. She still has a heavy Swedish accent in English but has somewhat of an American accent while speaking Swedish. What tends to happen, in my opinion, is forgetting words. Being that I've spoken English at home since my husband originally moved to Sweden 8 years ago, I forget words in both languages and try to compensate by using the other.

For me, I tried establishing routines and making myself do stuff on my own... I failed. I just don't have the self discipline to make it work. What worked for me was getting a job and feeling like I had a purpose again. I assume the same would go for volunteering.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

I cheated a bit and didn't read all the replies. But I totally understand where the original post is coming from. When we moved to America the first time in 2006, we spent the first few weeks living with my husbands best friend and his family. I was going stir crazy and just had to get out of there. When we finally got our own apartment I still had to wait for my SSN. Being that I didn't have a drivers license, still don't actually, I didn't get around anywhere. Despite having been somewhat of a work out freak I couldn't muster up the energy to go to the gym in our apartment complex. I layed on the couch and felt extremely sorry for myself. I gained so much weight in those first few weeks that I don't even want to think about.

When I finally got my SSN I got lucky though. I applied for two jobs and I got both. The one I finally ended up staying with was fortunately enough for me, right on the only bus line available in my area so I never had to get a drivers license. And I have to say I lived there for 2 years that time and never ended up really needing a license. I took that one bus to and from work, when I did things with my co-workers I generally took the bus to work and went with them from there.

Perhaps it was easier for me being a Swede and moving to Minnesota, people were extremely welcoming (the ones that actually figured out I was an immigrant and not just talking a little odd). But during the first few weeks there I basically pondered every decision I had ever made and why the heck I ended up thinking living in america could possibly be a good idea. I doubt I've ever felt so sorry for myself in my life.

As far as language and accents go though, as I saw some people mentioning here at the end. One of my friends, Swedish woman, had lived in the US for most of her adult life and being that she has a "bad ear for language" she now speaks bad Swedish, and to be honest - sometimes equally bad english. She still has a heavy Swedish accent in English but has somewhat of an American accent while speaking Swedish. What tends to happen, in my opinion, is forgetting words. Being that I've spoken English at home since my husband originally moved to Sweden 8 years ago, I forget words in both languages and try to compensate by using the other.

For me, I tried establishing routines and making myself do stuff on my own... I failed. I just don't have the self discipline to make it work. What worked for me was getting a job and feeling like I had a purpose again. I assume the same would go for volunteering.

Have you thought about speaking Swedish at home? We are slowing working towards that end and to be honest, I think it is super important. There are some weird laws about future children only getting to retain Danish citizenship if they are fluent and have spent some time in Denmark and that is something we both want to do.

Don't feel bad about it not working out - it took a lot to sort of feel ok about "failing" to adjust to life when I moved. I went through the same "why the heck did I decide to live here" thing. Some people are just better suited to live in certain places than others. Trying it out is really the most important thing.

Some things I've learned to cope with being a foreigner is just trying to really get myself into the culture. The more I try to force my American values and views on to things, the more depressed and frustrated I get. Also, being willing to try things again and again and again in order to get a positive result has finally paid off! The little one answered questions back by a stranger yesterday in Danish (although the woman couldn't understand her non-Danish name) and played with Danish kids!

Exploring new places in the country, with or without the spouse, can also help. My husband is travel averse so I have to force him into coming to places and doing things with me, which always helps some of the self-pity I've got going on.

[markonline1 11]

This is an awesome thread. Lots of great advice and views. I start my new life in Monterey CA in 3 months. As much as I'm looking forward to it, I'm also nervous as hell. Despite absolutely living the US, especially California, I know I'll have bouts of home sickness, and I'm not looking forward to them at all. Like others here, I'm giving up a well payed responsible job to basically be reliant on so done else for the near future. Try and stay busy seems to be the advice.

[snapdragon 9]

Hello everyone, I'm late to this party but just wanted to chime in after reading (most of) this thread:

1. Homesickness and culture shock is a ######, and will creep up on you unexpectedly. Every time something frustrating happens to me I think "I wish I was back home" - it's my go to gripe and I know that's a bad habit that's getting hard to shake off.

2. Brits, it's worth shelling out $50 for Tunnel Bear (IP proxy), especially when your spouse gets into British Bake Off.

3. I lived in Scotland most of my life and traveled to Portree plenty of times for work. Once got a really good deal on the Cuillin Hills hotel when it was out of season

4. Settling in takes far longer than I could have expected, I've been here 6 months and I'm still learning to go with the flow.

5. Blogging does help, and if others have expat blogs I'd love to read them (mine is linked in the bottom of my post there).

6. Venting here helps, and I always forget that! Glad to be back.

I'm just frustrated right now because I've been here six months and money is tight, I can't find decent work (I left a good job to move here and admit I sometimes feel resentful), I have no healthcare, local drivers scare the bejeesus out of me (I live in PA and the driving habits are terrible!), and I'm actually ashamed to say that I haven't kept in regular contact with my friends back home because I don't want to admit how tough I'm finding it in the USA. I want to make it work here in the USA but just miss the UK so much more than I thought I would.

[True Brit 10]

This is an awesome thread. Lots of great advice and views. I start my new life in Monterey CA in 3 months. As much as I'm looking forward to it, I'm also nervous as hell. Despite absolutely living the US, especially California, I know I'll have bouts of home sickness, and I'm not looking forward to them at all. Like others here, I'm giving up a well payed responsible job to basically be reliant on so done else for the near future. Try and stay busy seems to be the advice.

Mark! Good to hear from you again - I smiled when I read your post and thought 'here's our Mark typing with his mittens on again!!!'. Seriously though, half the battle for you is won, I think, because you say you absolutely love the US (well actually you don't say that due to the mittens but I think that's what you mean!)whereas I really couldn't say that. In fact, I absolutely loved the UK and only came here to be with my husband. I remember before I came here that instead of packing up the house whilst waiting for my visa interview, I only felt like lying on the settee watching soaps and I had to actually force myself to get on with it. That was my clue, I think, that my subconscious was telling me that I really didn't want this change at this stage of my life. Ahhhh well, as I have said before, the things we do for love!

Hello everyone, I'm late to this party but just wanted to chime in after reading (most of) this thread:

1. Homesickness and culture shock is a ######, and will creep up on you unexpectedly. Every time something frustrating happens to me I think "I wish I was back home" - it's my go to gripe and I know that's a bad habit that's getting hard to shake off.

2. Brits, it's worth shelling out $50 for Tunnel Bear (IP proxy), especially when your spouse gets into British Bake Off.

3. I lived in Scotland most of my life and traveled to Portree plenty of times for work. Once got a really good deal on the Cuillin Hills hotel when it was out of season

4. Settling in takes far longer than I could have expected, I've been here 6 months and I'm still learning to go with the flow.

5. Blogging does help, and if others have expat blogs I'd love to read them (mine is linked in the bottom of my post there).

6. Venting here helps, and I always forget that! Glad to be back.

I'm just frustrated right now because I've been here six months and money is tight, I can't find decent work (I left a good job to move here and admit I sometimes feel resentful), I have no healthcare, local drivers scare the bejeesus out of me (I live in PA and the driving habits are terrible!), and I'm actually ashamed to say that I haven't kept in regular contact with my friends back home because I don't want to admit how tough I'm finding it in the USA. I want to make it work here in the USA but just miss the UK so much more than I thought I would.

[True Brit 10]

Hi Snapdragon-nice to hear from you. Sorry things aren't working out too well on the jobs front at the moment. I can totally understand your feeling resentful after giving up a good job to come here. Hope things improve in the very near future. I know the Cuillin Hills Hotel very well. I used to have a small tourist business on Skye and lived there for 14 years. I was put in touch with a Scottish girl yesterday who has been here for 21 years. Her husband is American and they were living in London when he was offered a great job opportunity in the States and they moved here when she was pregnant. She says she felt angry for the first ten years!!!! Now she says she is happy 60% of the time, which is as much as anyone could hope for, I guess. Thanks to VJ friends, I now know to watch my soaps on Youtube and I joined a 'hide your ip' site so I got to watch the Royle Family Christmas Special and Paul O'Grady at Battersea Dogs Home!! Simple pleasures huh? Still feel isolated - still feel scared - still feel homesick - still feel dependent and not in control of my own life anymore but I'm working on it and only time will tell if I can make it work. Hugs to all the other VJers still struggling with their new lives.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Have you had a chance to read any of the blogs I posted earlier? You like them?

[markonline1 11]

Mark! Good to hear from you again - I smiled when I read your post and thought 'here's our Mark typing with his mittens on again!!!'. Seriously though, half the battle for you is won, I think, because you say you absolutely love the US (well actually you don't say that due to the mittens but I think that's what you mean!)whereas I really couldn't say that. In fact, I absolutely loved the UK and only came here to be with my husband. I remember before I came here that instead of packing up the house whilst waiting for my visa interview, I only felt like lying on the settee watching soaps and I had to actually force myself to get on with it. That was my clue, I think, that my subconscious was telling me that I really didn't want this change at this stage of my life. Ahhhh well, as I have said before, the things we do for love!

LOL, I really should proof read my posts before hitting the send button shouldn't I. It's still early days, I'm sure it won't be long before your homesick feelings starts to subside a little

[snapdragon 9]

In fact, I absolutely loved the UK and only came here to be with my husband. I remember before I came here that instead of packing up the house whilst waiting for my visa interview, I only felt like lying on the settee watching soaps and I had to actually force myself to get on with it. That was my clue, I think, that my subconscious was telling me that I really didn't want this change at this stage of my life. Ahhhh well, as I have said before, the things we do for love!

That's exactly how I felt too! It was kind of a big indicator. My husband and I sometimes second guess whether it was the right decision to move to the USA and not the UK, but I think at the same time we're determined to make it work here in the US. I'm grateful that we are a great team and we are very strong together, it's just that life in the US is pretty tough right now! Still willing to give the battle a fight though.

[True Brit 10]

I actually plucked up the courage to walk along the main roads (no sidewalks of course) to reach the County Library (a distance of two miles each way from the house) which I was desperate to join for books and dvds etc. It was scary, I have to admit, on some of the roads and I did get some funny looks from motorists as I stumbled along the lawns belonging to the 'posh people' which was the only place to walk at times but I did it and actually managed to reach the library and actually join! I had a bad moment coming back when I attempted to walk through a drive-in ATM to draw out some money (the only ATM I could find). I felt such an idiot frantically trying to work out which way to put the card in etc whilst looking anxiously round for cars! The 4 mile round trip was nothing compared to what I was used to walking in the UK, but people just do not expect pedestrians and seem to head straight for you and swerve at the last minute which is a bit disconcerting. Anyway, I got back to the house (note I don't say 'home') to find my sister in law had posted this video on my facebook page. I laughed and laughed my head off and so I would like to share it with my VJ friends in the hope that it cheers anyone up who feels a bit down at the moment. The humour is very 'British' so I apologise to those who find it completely incomprehensible!

[ChelseaKate 3]

I cried everyday when I arrived here. I cried right after my wedding thinking, I'm married.. now what!?! I felt lost, I don't drive, no public transportation, no shops nearby, no friends, no family... So depressing! In fact I cried day and night! Made it worse when I got pregnant and alone because my hubby works long hours. I learn how to drive with the help of my husband then took road test while I'm 7 months pregnant, passed the test, got my DL and started driving to town and met new friends. After I gave birth to my little angel, I never felt bored anymore, he kept me busy all day! Lol. It will get better, try to meet new friends and learn to drive.