K1 or marry and adjust status?

[ES+NY 0]

Hi all,

I'm new here but have been browsing these forums a lot recently to try to better understand all the immigration options available to me and my boyfriend -- it's been really helpful and I finally decided maybe I should post my own!

Our situation: he's from Spain, here on a J-1 visa that ends at the end of December. We met in May of this year, and quickly fell in love. Very early on I thought this could be the "one" and the feeling only got stronger as time went on. So here I am.

When the relationship first became serious and it was clear the immigration nightmare that was coming up, we started looking into options like an H1B, or F1. The latter was unaffordable, and although an H1B is actually viable (he has a job offer from his current employer) it is unfortunately for a position in another city than where I'm located and I can't really move my job right now (plus, it doesn't start til next October - so we'd be long distance in between). He could look for another H1B sponsor in this city, but that too comes with a period of long distance, and all of this led to lots of talks about where we saw our relationship going, and it ended up with conversations about how we both wanted to get married.

So our options are either (1) marry now and adjust status, or (2) file now for a K1 visa, and do ~6-8 months long distance with hopefully a few visits in between [we think the K1 is preferable to H1B given the location issue, and uncertainty of whether H1B would even be granted given limited numbers].

Neither of these options are ideal, and I'm really struggling with what to do. We have almost finished preparing the K1 application, but now I'm leaning toward just getting married. Before meeting him, the idea of eloping with someone I only met 6 months ago would have sounded insane, but now here I am and it doesn't sound so crazy given how I feel. (To provide more context: we're both nearly 29, and have had several long term relationships in the past.) But it would mean canceling all of our Christmas travel plans -- he's planning to return to Spain where he hasn't been in over a year, and his family is really looking forward to the visit (as is he). And they've never met me or I them. I was then planning to go to Spain to visit all of them a few weeks after Christmas. We couldn't do any of that, as we'd have to wait for advanced parole to come through to leave.

Has anyone on this board dealt with a similar dilemma -- marry now or wait? -- and how did you decide?? Is it better to wait for the K1 (or, possibly H1B) and deal with the horribleness of not seeing each other for so long, in order for our families to accept this better and not think we are rushing, and be able to plan ahead more? Or since he's here now, and we both want to get married, should we just go for it and hope everyone understands? (And will we have any problems with the AOS, given that we were only dating for 6 months?)

I know everyone's situation is unique, but I'm hoping any advice, or similar stories, might help us decide.

Thanks!!

Edited November 28, 2012 by ES+NY

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hi all,

I'm new here but have been browsing these forums a lot recently to try to better understand all the immigration options available to me and my boyfriend -- it's been really helpful and I finally decided maybe I should post my own!

Our situation: he's from Spain, here on a J-1 visa that ends at the end of December. We met in May of this year, and quickly fell in love. Very early on I thought this could be the "one" and the feeling only got stronger as time went on. So here I am.

When the relationship first became serious and it was clear the immigration nightmare that was coming up, we started looking into options like an H1B, or F1. The latter was unaffordable, and although an H1B is actually viable (he has a job offer from his current employer) it is unfortunately for a position in another city than where I'm located and I can't really move my job right now (plus, it doesn't start til next October - so we'd be long distance in between). He could look for another H1B sponsor in this city, but that too comes with a period of long distance, and all of this led to lots of talks about where we saw our relationship going, and it ended up with conversations about how we both wanted to get married.

So our options are either (1) marry now and adjust status, or (2) file now for a K1 visa, and do ~6-8 months long distance with hopefully a few visits in between [we think the K1 is preferable to H1B given the location issue, and uncertainty of whether H1B would even be granted given limited numbers].

Neither of these options are ideal, and I'm really struggling with what to do. We have almost finished preparing the K1 application, but now I'm leaning toward just getting married. Before meeting him, the idea of eloping with someone I only met 6 months ago would have sounded insane, but now here I am and it doesn't sound so crazy given how I feel. (To provide more context: we're both nearly 29, and have had several long term relationships in the past.) But it would mean canceling all of our Christmas travel plans -- he's planning to return to Spain where he hasn't been in over a year, and his family is really looking forward to the visit (as is he). And they've never met me or I them. I was then planning to go to Spain to visit all of them a few weeks after Christmas. We couldn't do any of that, as we'd have to wait for advanced parole to come through to leave.

Has anyone on this board dealt with a similar dilemma -- marry now or wait? -- and how did you decide?? Is it better to wait for the K1 (or, possibly H1B) and deal with the horribleness of not seeing each other for so long, in order for our families to accept this better and not think we are rushing, and be able to plan ahead more? Or since he's here now, and we both want to get married, should we just go for it and hope everyone understands? (And will we have any problems with the AOS, given that we were only dating for 6 months?)

I know everyone's situation is unique, but I'm hoping any advice, or similar stories, might help us decide.

Thanks!!

Marrying somoeone for the purposes of an immigration benefit is immigration fraud, so is filing for a K-1.

IF you are truly in love and IF you really want to get married, then do so and file an I-130 and I-485. He can stay while he adjusts status. Do not leave the country until he has a green card. Be prepared for a visa interview and be prepared to show that you have a legitimate marriage NOT for the purpose of immigration.

On th eother hand a K-1 is not so horrible, please spare me. You are speaking of a person from a visa waiver country that can travel freely to the US and many other countries very easily, so can you. You coul deasily see each other fairly often and speak on skype every day. Many here have faced this same choice and the decision is up to you and what is best for you. The "horribleness" of a K-1 visa is quickly forgotten once he is here.

[dave97232 12]

Marrying somoeone for the purposes of an immigration benefit is immigration fraud, so is filing for a K-1.

That doesn't sound like it applies here. I read her words and they sound like a woman in crazy love with intentions of a genuine marriage.

But your concern about immigration fraud is a good point. I would stay clear of the work visa option and only use a visa for the purpose it is intended for. Start here:

http://www.visajourney.com/content/compare

and pick one that suits you and your boyfriend, getting married now or later.

[ES+NY 0]

Marrying somoeone for the purposes of an immigration benefit is immigration fraud, so is filing for a K-1.

IF you are truly in love and IF you really want to get married, then do so and file an I-130 and I-485. He can stay while he adjusts status. Do not leave the country until he has a green card. Be prepared for a visa interview and be prepared to show that you have a legitimate marriage NOT for the purpose of immigration.

On th eother hand a K-1 is not so horrible, please spare me. You are speaking of a person from a visa waiver country that can travel freely to the US and many other countries very easily, so can you. You coul deasily see each other fairly often and speak on skype every day. Many here have faced this same choice and the decision is up to you and what is best for you. The "horribleness" of a K-1 visa is quickly forgotten once he is here.

Whoa, I understand that marrying for an immigration benefit is fraud -- that's not our case. We want to be married, to be married. The dilemma is when, and which immigration process and timeline to use.

And I know that other people deal with much harder situations, and that we are coming from places of relative privilege (visa waiver country, able to get an H1B, etc), but it is still difficult to contemplate a long separation, especially when we could just marry now and stay together (again, we are privileged to have this option, I know!). Financially we actually couldn't afford to see each other very much - at best, maybe 2-3 times - plus there's the uncertainty of him being admitted on visa waiver at all while the K1 is pending. I am just trying to find out about pros/cons people might have thought about (such as any difficulties in the AOS process), or stories of things people did/wished they might have done in similar situations ...

[ES+NY 0]

That doesn't sound like it applies here. I read her words and they sound like a woman in crazy love with intentions of a genuine marriage.

But your concern about immigration fraud is a good point. I would stay clear of the work visa option and only use a visa for the purpose it is intended for. Start here:

and pick one that suits you and your boyfriend, getting married now or later.

Thanks I responded before I read your reply.

Yeah, we decided not go to the work visa route for other reasons (though in my understanding, it wouldn't be fraud since H1B is a dual intent?). And I've read that chart, but since he's actually in the US currently, we have the option of simply marrying and adjusting status (from his current J1) rather than any other option. And if we don't marry now, from what I've researched the K1 is the fastest option of all those to get us back together in the US...

[mugumogu 18]

My wife and I went through the same discussion when we were deciding what route to take, though she was in Mexico and I was here. She did not have a visa to come here so the options were to file a K-1 or get married in Mexico. When I found out what the requirements were to get married in Mexico (medicals, permission from government, translating all of my documents into Spanish, planning a wedding, etc.) it would have taken about 6 months before we would have been able to have a wedding and THEN we would start the paperwork to bring her here. It was faster for us to go the K-1 route & in the end, it took 5 months from the time we mailed the petition to approval. I made a trip down there every 3 months to be with her for a week. We then got married her within the 90 days as the K-1 requires and then planned a nice big wedding in Mexico for her family.

It's hard to say what to do. Given how long you've known each other, it might be best to go the K-1 route. Let him go back to his family & you could plan a trip out there to meet them. I think you should meet at least his parents before getting married & make sure that they're OK with him moving his life to the US to be with you. Is he OK with being away from his family and Spain? If you get married and there are issues with the family, it could be a real strain on the marriage. We've all had to endure the wait and thinking back on it, it was nothing!