212 g from Lagos---Your story

[vicki/bala 0]

Yodrak, I enjoy reading your responses to posters here because I always find them very knowledgable tempered with wisdom. And for the most part I agree with you. But to say that our government trains these workers to lie and blackmail these canidates is just not right. Maybe they do... but that doesnt make it easier to accept as "right practices". And surely you dont expect those of us that have seen this firsthand to accept that these CO's do not judge on their own cultural beliefs and backgrounds. I know differently and Im sure there are many that agree with me. Yes there were more than one that decided our fate... Two Indians and then they took what was their "truth" to the american CO. Not once in all the many times that my fiance challenged them to show their "proof" that we were frauds were they able to do it. Instead they kept insisting that he admit to it. He looked them straight in the eye and told them he would not admit to something he was not guilty of no matter what they threatened or said to him. I can prove every single word that we said to them to be a fact. But as the oringal poster noted they too didnt want to look at it. They threw it back at him saying "a few conversations dont prove a relationship".

I always appreciate the calm way in which you reply to all of us that sometimes lose our cool. But understand our side too. We are human beings who only want to be with the one we love. Everyday of my life I am reminded that Bala is not here. And for the life of me I cant understand what crime we did that keeps us apart.... Im surviving and im living my life each day, because I have too. I dont desire any pity, or special favors. All I want is to go on with my life with the man I love.

Keep giving the good advice Yodrak its always appreciated. When I see that you have posted a reply I always go and read the thread even if it doesnt pertain to me, because I know I wll get some information that may be helful in the future.

Many thanks to you...

vicki/bala

[Yodrak 7]

Vicki,

Your words, "lie" and "blackmail", I expect that the government uses different ones, probably something like 'interview techniques'. I would go with 'interrogation techniques' having the right amount of sinister meaning.

I understand that this is very hard on you and others in your position. I am grateful that I have not had to suffer the experience first hand, and I'm sure that I do not understand the strength with which the situation hits you. No question, an uninvolved 3rd-party vantage point makes it so much easier to offer comment.

I don't know where India stands on the fraud scale, but certainly not with say countries such as western European ones, Canada, and Australia. And not with Nigeria either, but yours is not the only tale of difficulty I've read about from India. The possibility of difficulty can be anticipated. So let me ask you - did you or Bala have a consultation with a US immigration attorney who's worked cases at the consulate in India early on, to review the facts of your situation and get advice on how best to present a case to the consulate there? How about after Bala's first interview to respond to the request for more information and prepare for the second interview?

If you did, I'm sorry that it wasn't enough to win the day for you and Bala. If you did not, I beg readers who are dealing with known difficult consulates to learn from your case and others that the concept of a simple, clear-cut case can be deceiving.

Best wishes for re-affirmation of your petition at CIS and success when the petition ultimately gets back to the consulate.

Yodrak

.... to say that our government trains these workers to lie and blackmail these canidates is just not right. Maybe they do... but that doesnt make it easier to accept as "right practices".

.... We are human beings who only want to be with the one we love. Everyday of my life I am reminded that Bala is not here. And for the life of me I cant understand what crime we did that keeps us apart.... Im surviving and im living my life each day, because I have too. I dont desire any pity, or special favors. All I want is to go on with my life with the man I love.

....

vicki/bala

Edited November 3, 2006 by Yodrak

[vicki/bala 0]

NO we did not have any help in filing our petition. It was a last minute decision to even apply for a visa for Bala. Our plans was for me to come there and live. Bala had already taken out a huge loan to begin his own business in Chennai. Taken out just two months before I petitoned for him a K-1. After I went there to visit with him I realized I couldnt live there without my family. Even though my boys are grown I still dont want to be that far from them. So I approched him with the ideal of living here. It was the first time it was ever brought up in our four year history. So I went online, got the forms and we began our journey all by ourselves. Neither of us EVER expected any problems.. All we knew was that we loved each other, neither of us had ever had any problems with the law, both adults, both free to marry, so what could go wrong?? (geez were we gullible ). We found vj just two or three weeks before balas first interview. Then we began to see our "red flags" so we prepared well for that. Still it was a mess. We now have an immigration attorney, and we are just hoping for the best.

I feel its necessary to explain something here though so that the CO's dont look totaly bad. I now understand why they had doubts (It was bala they doubted and not me) .... but It was a simple mistake that was easily proved otherwise if only they would have listened to our explanation. So I have to be honest in saying i know why they thought as they did .... but I will never understand or agree with their tatics. If they had just taken the time to listen to us and look at all our proofs they would have seen the truth and we wouldnt have to be waiting and going thru this exta scrutiny. The important thing here is to make sure you have everything prepared ,, mind your p's and q's because once that doubt is planted in their brains its not so easily removed.

Thanks for the well wishes Yodrak, its been four months on the 6th since our petition was sent back. Hopefully we will get our NOID soon so that we can continue on with this struggle.

Vicki/bala

[NaijaPrincess Need NaijaPrince 0]

Thank you for your understanding. All I want is to shed light on this embassy and its corrupt ways. The CO's claim that they care about me as a US citizen but if they cared they would not ignore me or put me through this stress. I love my husband very much and if we can not be together I will just die.

I was waiting for what I thought was the right time to make my comments. I think it's time for me to add my comments now. I have been watching the original post from NaijaPrincess need NaijaPrince and reading the responses. I hope I am right in my assessment. The first thing I noticed was you were new to Visajourney and you had already filed application before finding this website, which is excellent in giving information of what you should include when filing application. I actually found the website after my trip to Nigeria but before I filed application so, It was a good thing that I had not filed application yet. The second thing that I thought was that I wish your question was posted in the Afrcan SubSaharan Forum and you still may want to look there as many have filed applications in Nigeria. I agree with Ursy and Vicki/bala's that the comments were harsh and I am so sorry to hear that your husband was not approved. I was even more horrified and saddened to read Vicki/bala's post about her finacee's experience at interview. I am keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers that you will be able to resolve the issues that keep you from being reunited with your SO's at this time. I will not speak about the fraud in Nigeria as it is a known fact. I do agree that not all people in Nigeria or that all Nigerians participate in fraudulent activites.

[kofuku 0]

Naija,

I cannot understand the pain you feel except that a very good friend is in your similar pridicament and I feel her pain everyday I talk to her. I know her relationship with her husband to be geniune, but what I know doesn't matter. In consoling her, I have tried to get her to be proactive and get some help. She is still under the impression that after 4 months that she should wait for "the powers to be" to contact her. She is in a state of denial.

I tell you this because there are others that have similar experiences because their spouses are from "high fraud" countries, and instead of focusing on what was done to you, focus on what you can do to bring him home to you. Regardless of what we think of the CO's in these countries, at the end of the day, it is their (job)decision to grant a visa based on the information provided to them.

A denial is heartbreaking, but it is not the end of your visa journey. If anything positive can come out of this, by the time your husband's interview comes up again, you should be granted the IR-1 visa. I personally think the CO's deny most of these visas to see which couples will overcome the NOID or NOIR and use that as proof of a valid relationship. Yodrak offered some heartfelt advice. It's not cheap, but money should not be an object to bringing our loved ones home to us.

Christine

[vicki/bala 0]

Naija,

I cannot understand the pain you feel except that a very good friend is in your similar pridicament and I feel her pain everyday I talk to her. I know her relationship with her husband to be geniune, but what I know doesn't matter. In consoling her, I have tried to get her to be proactive and get some help. She is still under the impression that after 4 months that she should wait for "the powers to be" to contact her. She is in a state of denial.

I tell you this because there are others that have similar experiences because their spouses are from "high fraud" countries, and instead of focusing on what was done to you, focus on what you can do to bring him home to you. Regardless of what we think of the CO's in these countries, at the end of the day, it is their (job)decision to grant a visa based on the information provided to them.

A denial is heartbreaking, but it is not the end of your visa journey. If anything positive can come out of this, by the time your husband's interview comes up again, you should be granted the IR-1 visa. I personally think the CO's deny most of these visas to see which couples will overcome the NOID or NOIR and use that as proof of a valid relationship. Yodrak offered some heartfelt advice. It's not cheap, but money should not be an object to bringing our loved ones home to us.

Christine