Filing for VAWA without a lawyer.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Not knowing the details of what you are seeking and what the value of these objects are, your wife has no right to your things. If she refuses to give them to you she is guilty of theft ( or some similar offense depending on the laws there) Write her a letter firmly requesting that she cooperate with returning your objects to you. Make a very specific list. Give her a deadline. Send the letter with signature required. Use a 3rd party if you can as contact for the return. If she fails to return your items , go with a copy of the letter and the proof of delivery and file a police report.

[Villanelle 4,122]

If your icon is correct in displaying your location as Los Angeles try these links:

http://www.freecounselinghelp.com/category/counseling/counseling-agencies/location/ca/los-angeles/

http://www.sccc-la.org/

http://www.ihatemylife.us/medical.html

If not, try googling your location and 'free therapy' if the results are too broad, refine your search by typing the specific type of therapy you need-

[Villanelle 4,122]

Well it sucks that you werent able to get all of your possessions back. It seems as if youre going have to go through the courts to obtain them.

So its just a matter of which court. Since your next step is filing the restraining order, you should bring it up at the restraining order hearing. Part of the hearing involves reviewing who works where and who lives where and who has property remaining at what location. They make sure to get everything out of the way and set clear boundaries so theres no misunderstandings or excuses of "I had to go to such and such location because my stuff is still there".

So I would bring it up at the restraining order hearing. Ask the judge to set a time and date for an officer to accompany you to pick up the remainder of your possessions and be done with it. If they say no, then its a no and the only other option for you to get your remaining possessions is through the divorce court.

When you file for divorce or respond to complaint for the divorce if its served to you first, you would include the fact that you had possessions remaining in the home and ask for them back or the value of them.

As for filing a report about the locks being changed- you could go down to the station and insist you want to file one, but really what do you need it for? its not useful for VAWA. They may even be reluctant to let you file it, but if you insist they probably will let you.

I suppose you could contact the station and ask if you can have a copy of the incident report (of them coming out to accompany you to retrieve your possessions) Perhaps theres something in there that states you were fearful (which could be useful for VAWA), but then again perhaps theres nothing in the incident report. You wont know until you see it. (they may even tell you them coming out wasnt 'report worthy' hence there is no report, simply a log- every police station handles things differently, so you have to call them and ask, so if theres a log, ask for a log copy if possible, just play it by ear)

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

The cops would have no way of knowing if the locks were changed, so they couldn't sign any statement to that effect. If you have a copy of the lease, or you can get a copy from the landlord, then you can file a complaint against her for changing the locks. If she's getting any legal advise then she's probably already been told to file a restraining order against you. If she did that then your complaint about the locks being changed would be dropped. A restraining order would trump your rights as a tenant.

This isn't the sort of stuff that qualifies as "do it yourself". You need an attorney.

[Dewave2 17]

The cops would have no way of knowing if the locks were changed, so they couldn't sign any statement to that effect. If you have a copy of the lease, or you can get a copy from the landlord, then you can file a complaint against her for changing the locks. If she's getting any legal advise then she's probably already been told to file a restraining order against you. If she did that then your complaint about the locks being changed would be dropped. A restraining order would trump your rights as a tenant.

This isn't the sort of stuff that qualifies as "do it yourself". You need an attorney.

Unfortunately, when my wife changed the locks, she also cleared out all our bank accounts, and cancelled all our credit cards, leaving with me the $5 I had in my wallet. I don't have access to any funds, as I don't come from a family with any money, and have no avenues to borrow any. All attorneys won't accept my case without taking some form of payment up front (I've called over 70), and I Legal Aid wouldn't take my case. Im unfortunately left with no choice but to do it myself, unless you have any other ideas?

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Unfortunately, when my wife changed the locks, she also cleared out all our bank accounts, and cancelled all our credit cards, leaving with me the $5 I had in my wallet. I don't have access to any funds, as I don't come from a family with any money, and have no avenues to borrow any. All attorneys won't accept my case without taking some form of payment up front (I've called over 70), and I Legal Aid wouldn't take my case. Im unfortunately left with no choice but to do it myself, unless you have any other ideas?

Have you contacted the British Embassy?

If I were in your shoes I would take a return ticket back to England, put my life back together, and file for divorce there, if your wife hasn't already started in the states.

Why would you want to do a a VAWA and not just return home especially given that you seem to have nowhere to live, no family support, etc. in America? It is just a curious question because I know that my husband would be on the next plane back to Denmark...

[Dewave2 17]

Have you contacted the British Embassy?

If I were in your shoes I would take a return ticket back to England, put my life back together, and file for divorce there, if your wife hasn't already started in the states.

Why would you want to do a a VAWA and not just return home especially given that you seem to have nowhere to live, no family support, etc. in America? It is just a curious question because I know that my husband would be on the next plane back to Denmark...

I haven't contacted the British Embassy. Do you think this is something I should do?

As for returning to England. Although I currently don't have a lot in America, I have even less in England now. I left absolutely everything behind in England. I don't have anywhere to live there, no bank account, no job, no car, no money, no family support, no real friends to speak of. I left absolutely everything, and risked it all to be with the women I loved. I brought every last piece of finance I had available after we married over to the states, so that I could help support us through the adjustment period. A return ticket would also cost money that I dont have.

So as for my reasons for filing: I've never felt like a victim in my life until now. I want to file knowing that I didn't deserve anything that happened to me. I also want to know that I am free to return to this country whenever I see fit. As I was forced to overstay by 6 months after my marriage as my wife purposely delayed the paperwork being complete, I didnt deserve everything that happened during and after this, so I want to know that I can return and leave when I want, and not when determined by the actions of an abuser. Secondly; because Im here. If this had happened anywhere else, I would be staying there too. Its not a 'Because Im in America' thing, its because I'm currently here, so I have more chance of coming through this here, than if I was to go back to England. If I somehow made it made to England, Id just be homeless the second I stepped off the plane.

Edited December 4, 2012 by Dewave2

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I haven't contacted the British Embassy. Do you think this is something I should do?

As for returning to England. Although I currently don't have a lot in America, I have even less in England now. I left absolutely everything behind in England. I don't have anywhere to live there, no bank account, no job, no car, no money, no family support, no real friends to speak of. I left absolutely everything, and risked it all to be with the women I loved. I brought every last piece of finance I had available after we married over to the states, so that I could help support us through the adjustment period. A return ticket would also cost money that I dont have.

So as for my reasons for filing: I've never felt like a victim in my life until now. I want to file knowing that I didn't deserve anything that happened to me. I also want to know that I am free to return to this country whenever I see fit. As I was forced to overstay by 6 months after my marriage as my wife purposely delayed the paperwork being complete, I didnt deserve everything that happened during and after this, so I want to know that I can return and leave when I want, and not when determined by the actions of an abuser. Secondly; because Im here. If this had happened anywhere else, I would be staying there too. Its not a 'Because Im in America' thing, its because I'm currently here, so I have more chance of coming through this here, than if I was to go back to England. If I somehow made it made to England, Id just be homeless the second I stepped off the plane.

No one deserves to be abused so no need to get defensive as I wasn't trying to back you into a corner or anything.

I believe the British embassy does sort of give you a loan for a return ticket if you do find yourself stranded, but since you don't want to go back that wouldn't really matter. My father, a Yorkshireman, was an immigrant so I do have some understanding of it. There is more of a social safety net in England though in terms of health care, jobless benefits, etc.

I've been abused by an ex-husband, but I am thinking that you should get on filing an order of protection. At least when I did it, it was free for victims of domestic abuse. You don't need a police report but it is helpful. I did my longer term one with a lawyer but it was completely unnecessary and a waste of money. The divorce you can do pro-se and with reduced filing fees (maybe even free with the order of protection and lack of income).

[Penguin_ie 5,993]

*** Three topics, all regarding VAWA filing, merged. Please do not start more than one topic on the same/ similar subject; if you have updates, provide them in the same thread as a reply ****

[Dewave2 17]

No one deserves to be abused so no need to get defensive as I wasn't trying to back you into a corner or anything.

I believe the British embassy does sort of give you a loan for a return ticket if you do find yourself stranded, but since you don't want to go back that wouldn't really matter. My father, a Yorkshireman, was an immigrant so I do have some understanding of it. There is more of a social safety net in England though in terms of health care, jobless benefits, etc.

I've been abused by an ex-husband, but I am thinking that you should get on filing an order of protection. At least when I did it, it was free for victims of domestic abuse. You don't need a police report but it is helpful. I did my longer term one with a lawyer but it was completely unnecessary and a waste of money. The divorce you can do pro-se and with reduced filing fees (maybe even free with the order of protection and lack of income).

I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to come across defensive...I didnt feel like I was being backed into a corner. I guess anytime I talk about the situation, its all such a mess and im such a mess it probably comes off defensive!

What is an order of protection? Is this different from a restraining order?

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to come across defensive...I didnt feel like I was being backed into a corner. I guess anytime I talk about the situation, its all such a mess and im such a mess it probably comes off defensive!

What is an order of protection? Is this different from a restraining order?

http://www.ohiolegalservices.org/public/legal_problem/domestic-violence/domestic-violence/difference-between-restraining-order-and-civil-protection-order/qandact_view

This may vary slightly in your state. It is fairly easy to get an emergency one, especially if you reported abuse to the police. However, you must actually have some cause to believe that you are in physical danger (usually).

[believe 46]

Dewave2 I'll post some resources for you in the VAWA thread, in case there are other male victims that could benefit.

[Villanelle 4,122]

Orders of protection and restraining orders are the same thing. Different places just have different names for them.

If legal aid denied you, then you must be working or have significant assets to not be eligible. Their fees are based are based on your current financial situation. Have you attempted to secure a credit card or loan on your own?

If you are denied and legal aid insists you still are too 'wealthy' to qualify for aid, then you dont have any other choice but to proceed on your own with out a lawyer. While its not the best option, its not impossible to file for divorce or VAWA or even a restraining order on your own.

To obtain a restraining order youd have to contact the county clerk and ask what the procedure is. Usually they have you come in and fill out a form so they can serve the other party. You would go before a judge or magistrate and make a sworn statement alleging what incidents occurred, stating your fears and reasons for wanting the order, offer your proof- the other party can then respond. If the judge agrees your fears are valid the order will be granted.

[Dewave2 17]

Orders of protection and restraining orders are the same thing. Different places just have different names for them.

If legal aid denied you, then you must be working or have significant assets to not be eligible. Their fees are based are based on your current financial situation. Have you attempted to secure a credit card or loan on your own?

If you are denied and legal aid insists you still are too 'wealthy' to qualify for aid, then you dont have any other choice but to proceed on your own with out a lawyer. While its not the best option, its not impossible to file for divorce or VAWA or even a restraining order on your own.

To obtain a restraining order youd have to contact the county clerk and ask what the procedure is. Usually they have you come in and fill out a form so they can serve the other party. You would go before a judge or magistrate and make a sworn statement alleging what incidents occurred, stating your fears and reasons for wanting the order, offer your proof- the other party can then respond. If the judge agrees your fears are valid the order will be granted.

Thank you for the clarification!

The reason Legal Aid wouldn't take my case was because, to be viable for legal aid, you need to be viable for benefits in the US, such as...unemployment. As I am not a legal citizen, I am not viable for any benefits, and thus, legal aid won't represent me. Catch 22 unfortunately. They did also say, that even if they took it, there is a 4 week wait time to even gain a response from their lawyer, and that, this for me, probably would't be that helpful. On my own it is, keep your fingers crossed everyone!

You're right about the restraining order. I have all the forms, I'm just finishing filling them out as we speak, and ill be taking them to the court tomorrow morning to file. I will let everyone know the outcome. Although Im just starting to realise that it means I will have to see my wife in court, which terrifies me.

[Ontarkie 14,227]

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