Filing for VAWA without a lawyer.

[Dewave2 17]

If you are fearing a disturbance if you go alone, you may wan tto arrange for a friend to go collect the stuff, or see if a local policeman can come with you.

Changing the locks is not the basis for VAWA, but maybe there is stuff you have not told us. Be aware that it can be quite difficult for a man to be successful, so do gather all the evidence you can in terms of doctors reports of injuries, police reports etc.

Thanks for the reply. I definitely fear a disturbance. It sounds like I need to have a police officer go with me. Hopefully I'll be able to get in, as Im not sure on the times she will and will not be there. And I know if she isnt there, there isnt much the police can do.

I know that changing locks isnt basis for VAWA, my case will be based on a lot of other factors. But with regards to filing VAWA, is it worth getting police reports for everything illegal she is doing through this time, to show how controlling her behaviour still is now, by not letting my in the apartment and making me homeless even though it was my apartment too? I just mean, do I need evidence of all this to help include as part of evidence for the VAWA, or is it not necessary?

[Dewave2 17]

The best way would be to contact your local police department and arrange for them to send an officer to escort you to the property so you can remove the rest of your belongings.

Thats kind of a hard one.. Paperwork in both your names technically belongs to both of you. So it would really be up to the officer present to 'mediate' if a dispute arises over whos property it is. Most likely theyll make you leave it on the property and tell you youd have to fight for 'ownership' of it it in court. (however in the case of joint financial documents like youre referring to, theyre not irreplaceable items- you can obtain copies from whomever they were issued by)

You should have some form of ID that has your address listed on it. I mean if you get to the door is your wife going to deny knowing you? You could call the landlord and ask for a copy of the lease to be faxed to the police station if need be.

I dont know if changing of the locks qualifies as 'VAWA' but you should report it as it would be relevant in divorce proceedings.

You would file a police report.

Thanks for all your advice.

With regards to the financial documents...Unfortunately, as my Social Security number hadnt been issued, when we filed, everything was in her name as a Primary account holder, so everything required her to speak with the institutes in question to get any documents, so I have no access to them. the reason I need access is obviously as part of my VAWA I need to include proof of Bona fide marriage, so I want acces to everything we included in our Original Adjust 130 485 package, as I dont currently have access to it (the spare copy I made she has also).

I do have a bank statement with both our names on it and addres, hopefully that will help. Im hoping the landlord hasnt just taking my name off the lease in word or whatever program is used, and reverted back to a lease without my name on it. I know that three copies exist for definite with both our names on it. there was one in the apartment, one in the copy of the package I made, and one with the adjustment package I sent to USCIS.

As for filing a police report, in terms of the locks being changed illegally. How do I go about filing a police report? Ive never had to file one in my life, let alone in the US??

[Sandra G. 5,048]

To file for Vawa you need to submit a psychological evaluation,prove that you are doing therapy. The psychologist must state how the abuse changed the person you are right now, you have to prove you can't "function" properly due the abuse, it's a tough road to go.We have her ein the visa journey a thread called "Vawa part 3:, join us there.

[Villanelle 4,122]

Thanks for the reply. I definitely fear a disturbance. It sounds like I need to have a police officer go with me. Hopefully I'll be able to get in, as Im not sure on the times she will and will not be there. And I know if she isnt there, there isnt much the police can do.

I know that changing locks isnt basis for VAWA, my case will be based on a lot of other factors. But with regards to filing VAWA, is it worth getting police reports for everything illegal she is doing through this time, to show how controlling her behaviour still is now, by not letting my in the apartment and making me homeless even though it was my apartment too? I just mean, do I need evidence of all this to help include as part of evidence for the VAWA, or is it not necessary?

What you do is the following- you contact the local police department and explain the situation. They will contact her and set up a time for you and an officer to go the home to pick up your property. You can also request for the officer to advise her (when they call) that it is illegal for her to destroy or damage any of your property currently on the property.

As for your VAWA claim, I really dont know. Read through the VAWA threads. I would think more evidence is always better then less. And again, even if its not of use for VAWA it will be useful in your divorce.

[Villanelle 4,122]

With regards to the financial documents...Unfortunately, as my Social Security number hadnt been issued, when we filed, everything was in her name as a Primary account holder, so everything required her to speak with the institutes in question to get any documents, so I have no access to them. the reason I need access is obviously as part of my VAWA I need to include proof of Bona fide marriage, so I want acces to everything we included in our Original Adjust 130 485 package, as I dont currently have access to it (the spare copy I made she has also).

I really dont know how you keep your paperwork, if you have a giant file or what, or if shes going to oppose you removing it from the property or not. But originally you said 'joint paperwork', now youre making it sound like the paperwork youre seeking is 'hers'. So again, its really going to be in the officers hands. If its immigration paperwork with your name on the top, insist that its yours and refuse to leave with out it.

I do have a bank statement with both our names on it and addres, hopefully that will help. Im hoping the landlord hasnt just taking my name off the lease in word or whatever program is used, and reverted back to a lease without my name on it. I know that three copies exist for definite with both our names on it. there was one in the apartment, one in the copy of the package I made, and one with the adjustment package I sent to USCIS.

Its highly unlikely for a landlord to just remove someone from a lease without their consent. So unless your spouse has an extremely personal relationship with the landlord, youre still on the lease.

As for filing a police report, in terms of the locks being changed illegally. How do I go about filing a police report? Ive never had to file one in my life, let alone in the US??

Since its not an emergency, you go down to the local police station that governs your place of residence in person with a form of ID and tell them youd like to file a report. They ask you what your problem is and you tell them. They take you to a little room where you answer questions and they gather information. They do their investigation and put together a report. Usually after 1-2 days you can go back to the police station and pick up a copy of the report. Sometimes they charge you a few bucks for a copy, sometimes they give it to you for free.

[Sandra G. 5,048]

Dewave2 you asked why some people submit form I-485 and some don't , well in order to get work permit you need to fill out form I-485 as well or have a pending I-485, but in case the Vawa petition is denied Uscis will start removal proceedings for those who filed form I-485, but if you submit just form I-360 and NEVER submitted I-485 in case of denial the Vawa Unit is not deporting now.

In your case you submitted before form I-485, even if she withdrew the affidavit of support your form I-485 is still valid for vawa pupose, you don't have to file another one .YOU must attend the AOS interview and bring copy showing you submitted form I-360, and they will put your I-485 on hold,if you fail to attend the interview they will initiate the removal proceedings against you.

You need to prove you were subjected to extreme cruelty(mental abuse), you will need a psychological evaluation, and you need to show to vawa Unit you are doing some therapy to overcome the abuse suffered. Find some free psychological center for your treatment.

Edited November 28, 2012 by sandranj

[Dewave2 17]

Thanks again for all the replies!

In terms of the paperwork. for all our finances, she was the primary account holder on everything, as I had no Social Security at the time of filing my adjustment, but obviously we were comingling our finances in the only way we could. Even though she is the primary and has total control over all the accounts, my name was on most of the documents too.

I wonder if the police would let me make a copy of the documents I needed with my name on whilst at the house, as there is a printer/copier there.

As for the landlord, she does have an extremely personal relationship with him. Hence why Im concerned. If the landloard was concerned with following the law, I dont think he would have allowed the locks to be changed without my consent either, but they were. So this is why Im worried.

And thank you ever so much on how to file a police report! Thats extremely helpful, and something I will do this week once I hopefully have my stuff back tomorrow!

[Dewave2 17]

First off, obtain notarised affidavits from anyone you spoke to about your wife's problems, and have them attest that you confided in them about it or they otherwise were aware of the situation.

Second, if an I-360 VAWA is filed by itself and eventually denied, USCIS do not refer that person to ICE for them to begin deportation proceedings. If a concurrent VAWA I-360 / I-485 AoS is denied then USCIS do refer that person to ICE, and so this is why some people choose to file for VAWA by itself first, wait the ~18 months for its approval, and then file for AoS using an I-485 once that is done. The downside is that filing a standalone I-360 VAWA does not grant you any kind of legal status or employment authorisation, which you do get from filing an I-485.

IANAL = I am not a lawyer.

Thanks for the help!

Do you happen to know how I go about getting notarised affidavits form everyone that knows? when her parents did their affidavits for our adjustment package, they just gave them to me, I don't know how or where to go about getting these? Also my parents live back at home in England, how do I go about getting it from them too?

And that second piece of information is probably the most valuable to date, I had no idea! Im going to have to file with an I-485 as I have no choice, I need to work whilst Im here, if I cant work, I cant live, so thats not an option. That is extremely good to know when filing though! Thank you!

[Dewave2 17]

Dewave2 you asked why some people submit form I-485 and some don't , well in order to get work permit you need to fill out form I-485 as well or have a pending I-485, but in case the Vawa petition is denied Uscis will start removal proceedings for those who filed form I-485, but if you submit just form I-360 and NEVER submitted I-485 in case of denial the Vawa Unit is not deporting now.

In your case you submitted before form I-485, even if she withdrew the affidavit of support your form I-485 is still valid for vawa pupose, you don't have to file another one .YOU must attend the AOS interview and bring copy showing you submitted form I-360, and they will put your I-485 on hold,if you fail to attend the interview they will initiate the removal proceedings against you.

You need to prove you were subjected to extreme cruelty(mental abuse), you will need a psychological evaluation, and you need to show to vawa Unit you are doing some therapy to overcome the abuse suffered. Find some free psychological center for your treatment.

Oh ok, more very insightful knowledge thank you! So I can just use the I-485 thats already valid? How long will this be valid for, in case of her withdrawing, or even if she doesnt, how long do I have with that I-485? Also, if I keep that I-485, does that mean Im still authorised to work on my current EAD that came along with the filing of my current I-485?

So what youre saying is, no matter what, I have to have the I-360 filed before the interview date? No ifs and no buts?

Will my I-485 be on hold until the date of the interview? As in, nothing at all can happen to me, in terms of deportation until this date? If this is the case, it makes me feel a lot better about my current timeframe, even if its not much time.

I will look into Free Psychological treatment today, as this is obviously something I would have liked a long time ago, but didnt realise I could go anywhere to get it for free. Will be a big help having somone to talk to about it all, as I havent really been able to yet, and its too much to hold in. I will do this today, and hopefully work on getting an evaluation done ASAP, and having continuing treatment.

Does anyone happen to know of any Free Treatments available in Los Angeles, or the best way to find them?

[Villanelle 4,122]

Suggesting to be allowed to make copies with a copier on the property of whatever paperwork you need sounds like a very good compromise if your wife wont let you remove the papers. Im sure the officer would agree to that.

As for being removed from the lease/denied entry (even with the police escort)- I really think you are just over reacting because you are panicked and overwhelmed. Your wife didnt need the landlords permission to change the locks, its possible he doesnt even know shes changed them or that you no longer live there.

In a situation like this the police go by the information at hand. Nobody carries a copy of their lease with them at all times, they do have however a form of ID with their address on it. So theyre not expecting you to come to the police station with your 'lease' as proof of address to arrange for an escort to pick up your property.

Again, when you go to the station youre going to explain you need an escort because your spouse is abusive, she changed the locks and is denying you entry. (you would fill out a report about the locks being changed at the same time) When they go to the home they will be aware that the situation is 'hostile' and will be able to deal with it accordingly.

So again- go down to the station- ask for assistance- tell them you need an escort ^ file the report, they will contact her to set up a time. (you seem to be worried that when they contact her she is going to tell them you dont live there, or rather you never lived there and youre not on the lease and provide them with an altered copy of the lease she created with the landlords assistance.. this is really doubtful. It takes ALOT of nerve to lie to the police like that) The facts are you are married, you have ID with that address, you claim to have lived there until she threw you out and you claim to have property still inside that you want. So they will escort you.

So you have to just trust the system. If you get to that point and theyre telling you- shes insisting you never lived there and is sending us 'proof' ie a lease with out you on it, insist they investigate, ask the neighbors, talk to the landlord, talk to her in person. Because you have proof as well, your ID and mail and property at the location. (but again its not going to come to that)

[The Mean Lady 604]

Suggesting to be allowed to make copies with a copier on the property of whatever paperwork you need sounds like a very good compromise if your wife wont let you remove the papers. Im sure the officer would agree to that.

As for being removed from the lease/denied entry (even with the police escort)- I really think you are just over reacting because you are panicked and overwhelmed. Your wife didnt need the landlords permission to change the locks, its possible he doesnt even know shes changed them or that you no longer live there.

In a situation like this the police go by the information at hand. Nobody carries a copy of their lease with them at all times, they do have however a form of ID with their address on it. So theyre not expecting you to come to the police station with your 'lease' as proof of address to arrange for an escort to pick up your property.

Again, when you go to the station youre going to explain you need an escort because your spouse is abusive, she changed the locks and is denying you entry. (you would fill out a report about the locks being changed at the same time) When they go to the home they will be aware that the situation is 'hostile' and will be able to deal with it accordingly.

So again- go down to the station- ask for assistance- tell them you need an escort ^ file the report, they will contact her to set up a time. (you seem to be worried that when they contact her she is going to tell them you dont live there, or rather you never lived there and youre not on the lease and provide them with an altered copy of the lease she created with the landlords assistance.. this is really doubtful. It takes ALOT of nerve to lie to the police like that) The facts are you are married, you have ID with that address, you claim to have lived there until she threw you out and you claim to have property still inside that you want. So they will escort you.

So you have to just trust the system. If you get to that point and theyre telling you- shes insisting you never lived there and is sending us 'proof' ie a lease with out you on it, insist they investigate, ask the neighbors, talk to the landlord, talk to her in person. Because you have proof as well, your ID and mail and property at the location. (but again its not going to come to that)

You DO need permission from the landlord to change locks as the landlord needs a key to the apt at all times.

Separate from that, if you are afraid you don't know when you're wife is going to be home to go over with an officer, you can arrange entry with your landlord.

Your landlord cannot deny you entry to your own apt if he indeed knows about the locks being changed and has the spare key.

And if he doesn't, you can always hire a locksmith to break you in.

It's your apt too and you have every right to break into your own apt if you're on the lease.

Edited November 30, 2012 by KDubovik

[Dewave2 17]

Hi,

So, I created a thread last week regarding the fact my wife had changed the locks on our house, looking for advice. Just in case anyone has a similar problem I thought I would tell everyone what happened.

So on Sunday morning, I went to the police station. I told the officer about the fact my wife had changed the locks on our house and I needed access to get my stuff back. I also gave him a small amount of detail about the abuse that had occured and my fear of returning alone. He gave me a number to call, to have an officer attend with me.

I drove to the house, and parked near by for 3 hours until the police showed up. Two officers turned up, and I explained the situation to them. They asked if my wife would be home, to which I said I didnt know. They told me that if my wife wasn't home, they wouldn't be allowed to let me enter the property, even if the landlord turned up and offered to let me in, in case I took something, my wife reported it as theft, and therefore they would be liable for allowing the theft to occur. I wasn't happy about this, however, I had no choice.

We knocked on the door, and the officers had me stand around the corner to prevent any unnecessary conflict. I could hear that she wasn't at the house, however her sister was. After speaking a while, the officers returned with a very small box, telling me that her sister had said this was all of my belongings they could find in the apartment (It most definitely wasn't all of my belongings). After this the police walked away from the door to meet me. They told me that if this wasn't all of my belongings it was an issue that would have to go to the courts.

After advice from members here, I asked for a note or something from the police to state the locks on the door had been changed, to which they told me they couldn't provide me with one. I asked if I could have an affidavit from them to say that the locks were changed, and they said no, they said the only way that information would be brought up is if they were summoned to court, to which they could only state the reasons for being there.

The police left, and so did I.

So this leaves me wondering where do I go from here?

Do I file a police report to state the locks were changed illegally?

Do I file a police report for my belongings that are no longer available?

Is there anyway for me to get a report from the police due to them attending with me to state the locks were changed?

As part of my VAWA do I need something from the officers to state they attended? As the reason they attended was from complete and utter fear of me being there alone?

Is there anything else Im forgetting, or need to do now in relation to this and my VAWA?

Next step for me...filing the restraining order tomorrow morning.

[Dewave2 17]

Hi,

So, seeing a therapist or a counsellor is something that has been on my mind for a long time, especially during the abuse period, as it was something I couldn't handle, that along with having my immigration status being held over my head by my wife every week, knowing that I had nowhere to return to as I gave everything up for my wife at her request, along with trying to help sort her drug and alcohol addictions out...it was all too much.

Unfortunately, I had no access to any more funds at this point, and my EAD hadnt arrived so I couldnt work to pay for anything, and if I paid for it from our joint account, my wife would have seen, and see made it very clear that if I did, she would revoke my paperwork. Also, she was seeing a therapist for her problems, and I hoped that that would have been enough.

Alas it isnt, and now im getting ready to file for my VAWA.

I understand from research, that in cases of emotional and psychological abuse...a psychological report has to take place.

This is something I will obviously happily do, but im hoping I can somehow keep the therapy going, as I'm just a mess right now, and trying to rush this filing isnt helping one bit.

The problem I have, is that when the wife left me, she cleared out our bank accounts, and cancelled all our credit cards. I had only got my SS number days before, and therefore hadn't been able to open my own bank, so I was at the mercy of her being able to see everything I was doing. Im not working, and I have access to no funds whatsoever. Im looking for work and hopefully will be soon, but even if so, I dont think I will see a paycheck before I need to file.

So, Im hoping someone can help. What can I do to go about not only getting therapy to help, but as part of my package, without being able to pay for the therapy.

Our interview is in 2 weeks, so I need to try and sort this quickly, to get the package together to send.

Thanks in advance for any help!

[hmh33 117]

Many therapists will charge on a sliding scale.

[rlogan 2,036]

Hi,

So, seeing a therapist or a counsellor is something that has been on my mind for a long time, especially during the abuse period, as it was something I couldn't handle, that along with having my immigration status being held over my head by my wife every week, knowing that I had nowhere to return to as I gave everything up for my wife at her request, along with trying to help sort her drug and alcohol addictions out...it was all too much.

Unfortunately, I had no access to any more funds at this point, and my EAD hadnt arrived so I couldnt work to pay for anything, and if I paid for it from our joint account, my wife would have seen, and see made it very clear that if I did, she would revoke my paperwork. Also, she was seeing a therapist for her problems, and I hoped that that would have been enough.

Alas it isnt, and now im getting ready to file for my VAWA.

I understand from research, that in cases of emotional and psychological abuse...a psychological report has to take place.

This is something I will obviously happily do, but im hoping I can somehow keep the therapy going, as I'm just a mess right now, and trying to rush this filing isnt helping one bit.

The problem I have, is that when the wife left me, she cleared out our bank accounts, and cancelled all our credit cards. I had only got my SS number days before, and therefore hadn't been able to open my own bank, so I was at the mercy of her being able to see everything I was doing. Im not working, and I have access to no funds whatsoever. Im looking for work and hopefully will be soon, but even if so, I dont think I will see a paycheck before I need to file.

So, Im hoping someone can help. What can I do to go about not only getting therapy to help, but as part of my package, without being able to pay for the therapy.

Our interview is in 2 weeks, so I need to try and sort this quickly, to get the package together to send.

Thanks in advance for any help!

I was under the thumb of a vicious, ruthless emotional savage for years and the first cracks of light for me were from a book a pastor gave me. It took someone looking on from the outside to start shaking me out of my delusion that this woman loved me and cared for me. But even that first book wasn't near enough. It was a book on adult children of child sexual abuse. How to understand them and their actions better, but it wasn't until I read books like "In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People; "Nasty People"; Emotional Vampires and other books that I really got a handle on all of it.

I never went to therapy for it, and in looking back on how much destruction she caused it would have been beneficial at the time. I realize you need to make this case for immigration but if you are really serious about helping yourself then there is a lot of literature out there that you can get in e-book form for five or ten bucks. I don't know what specific form of monster she is but it sounds like alcohol/substance abuse is a big part of it and there's a LOT of good stuff out there on that.