What to do for my wife's birthday while she's really homesick

[Scafidi454 22]

My wife is very homesick and depressed. I was looking for something to do that would make her feel more at home, but I don't want to make her even more homesick...

Any ideas?

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

My wife is very homesick and depressed. I was looking for something to do that would make her feel more at home, but I don't want to make her even more homesick...

Any ideas?

As a homesick wife, I can tell you that my husband does some things to try and cheer me up that do really workÆ

Buy me flowers

Get me a favorite food

Help with some of the cleaning for a day

Take me somewhere fun and relaxing

Accompany me shopping

They are things that don't remind me too much of home and aren't a half hearted attempt to be American (we've tried going out for burgers here and I literally cried at the table when they told me that legally they could only serve it uneatable and overcooked). Sometimes it is best not to attempt things from home if they aren't going to be as good.

Edited November 22, 2012 by Nola123

[JensJrny2Ray 367]

How about taking her on a day trip somewhere? Something relaxing, a nice drive with a nice lunch or dinner?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

My wife is very homesick and depressed. I was looking for something to do that would make her feel more at home, but I don't want to make her even more homesick...

Any ideas?

Take her shopping. Does she know anyone that speaks her language nearby? Don't worry, it will pass. She will get over it on her own.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Take her shopping. Does she know anyone that speaks her language nearby? Don't worry, it will pass. She will get over it on her own.

I couldn't, hence why we are moving back to America.

[Scafidi454 22]

We are in the US

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

We are in the US

I think we got that.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I couldn't, hence why we are moving back to America.

You don't like Danish shoes?

[Scafidi454 22]

well, I've tried a lot of those things, but she says she just doesn't want it anymore. I'm in thw hospital right now (3 days so far), and she can't hold it back. She's always crying about going home. I have been unemployed since June, and she still hasn't really started a life here yet (i.e. social, school, or work life). She really has to do it herself, and she needs to want to do it, but she doesn't...

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

well, I've tried a lot of those things, but she says she just doesn't want it anymore. I'm in thw hospital right now (3 days so far), and she can't hold it back. She's always crying about going home. I have been unemployed since June, and she still hasn't really started a life here yet (i.e. social, school, or work life). She really has to do it herself, and she needs to want to do it, but she doesn't...

Is there a Russian community in your area? Is she religious at all? If she is, sometimes that is a way she can find something familiar to cling onto.

[Vicomi 31]

Check out if she would like to do voluntary work. Hopefully she'll develop a social network and feel like she's made a valuable contribution to society. Best wishes to you both (F)

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

well, I've tried a lot of those things, but she says she just doesn't want it anymore. I'm in thw hospital right now (3 days so far), and she can't hold it back. She's always crying about going home. I have been unemployed since June, and she still hasn't really started a life here yet (i.e. social, school, or work life). She really has to do it herself, and she needs to want to do it, but she doesn't...

You can help her sign up for school and go to expat meetups. My husband makes sure that I get involved with things and goes places with me. He's coming to a Christmas party for the international community with me in about 2 weeks. Some spouses just need more hand holding that others.

For what it is worth, the thought of working here just made me more and more depressed and angry. The breaking point for me was actually the job offer. I don't know if this is true for all foreign wives, but having to move half way around the world to be with someone and then have to work a crappy job just wasn't going to happen.

How does she really feel about working? Is her job going to be a step down from what it was in Russia?

How does she feel about school?

Are there any activities she likes that have meetup groups?

Are you living somewhere she likes?

I'm not going to lie to you, it is HARD to keep up a good inter-cultural marriage, love isn't all it takes. My husband and I come from relatively similar cultures and family backgrounds and we struggle with it.

If you want her to stay, help her integrate and find her niche.

Is there a Russian community in your area? Is she religious at all? If she is, sometimes that is a way she can find something familiar to cling onto.

I think is a good idea. Most of the Russian immigrants I have met have very strong ties to the Russian ex-pat community.

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

get her on facebook and show her farmville, that keeps a lot of people i know busy.

[Scafidi454 22]

You can help her sign up for school and go to expat meetups. My husband makes sure that I get involved with things and goes places with me. He's coming to a Christmas party for the international community with me in about 2 weeks. Some spouses just need more hand holding that others.

For what it is worth, the thought of working here just made me more and more depressed and angry. The breaking point for me was actually the job offer. I don't know if this is true for all foreign wives, but having to move half way around the world to be with someone and then have to work a crappy job just wasn't going to happen.

How does she really feel about working? Is her job going to be a step down from what it was in Russia?

How does she feel about school?

Are there any activities she likes that have meetup groups?

Are you living somewhere she likes?

I'm not going to lie to you, it is HARD to keep up a good inter-cultural marriage, love isn't all it takes. My husband and I come from relatively similar cultures and family backgrounds and we struggle with it.

If you want her to stay, help her integrate and find her niche.

I think is a good idea. Most of the Russian immigrants I have met have very strong ties to the Russian ex-pat community.

I'm not sure about any Russian ex-pat communities in our area. I know that there are some in Jacksonville and Pensacola, but we live in Fort Walton Beach. She's meet a few different Russians here, but they're not her "style". So, I'm not sure.

Are there any good websites / blogs to find those communities?

[Darnell 8,478]

1. day spa

2. day spa

3. day spa

4. day spa

... (catching the pattern here? )

When she returns from the day spa, she'll find the main room of the house plastered in photos of her old city, that you printed out with the Poster Printing Program,

and in the kitchen she'll find a hot steam table filled full of the food from her region.

That'll be a great birthday - but requires advanced planning. how many days ahead you got on this one?