divorce before visa in hand

[vietkieu22 0]

Hello,

I recently submitted the I-130 but now am not so certain that it was a good idea. I and my wife have been married for 3 years with a 3 year old child. We initially got married because she was pregnant and I wanted to do the right thing, even though I was ready to call it quits a month before we found out she was pregnant (I kept track of us arguing 23 out of 30 days). The child turned out to be autistic which has added so much stress to our already stressed relationship. All through the pregnancy and after birth we have kept the ratio of arguing 75% of the entire month. She has hit me repeatedly many times and I admit I had had enough one time and hit her back once. She's extremely hot headed and admittedly so am I though only when pushed to the brink. She pressured me to live together, to have a baby (I wanted an abortion at the time), and to get married. Now after I submitted the I-130 she is complaining about waiting 3 years to go to the US. I responded that the reason I hadn't petitioned for her is because we argued way too much. She's not someone people here call "ngoan". Need I also say I do ALL the house chores because her hands are so beat up from being a slave to her family for years. Since then we have only argued 40% of this month. Now she says the only reason she wants to go is for the baby to get the proper care that she needs, and I also only want her to go for the baby because for the baby to be without his mother, while autistic, seems extremely harsh, though many times I've wanted to take my son home to the US and leave his mother here. There's been so many bad signs, such as arguing the day we signed our marriage license, the day I submitted the I-130, and arguing on many other days when I did something special for her. I feel like I am not appreciated or respected. She controls every aspect of my life. I've lost all my friends because she forbid me to see them, saying they are bad people and that all Vietnamese people are bad, that all Koreans beat their wives, etc. My initial vacation was such bliss but turned into a nightmare after meeting this woman. I don't know what to do. Should I withdraw the petition? The hard deal is that I care about my son's needs and feel that he needs the mom that he desperately clings to. He just does not bond well with me no matter how much I play and talk to him. I've thought about finding another wife but I am not confident that he will bond with another woman as well as he does with his mom, and I'm not confident that there's a woman out there that will love him as much as his mom.

Edited November 21, 2012 by vietkieu22

[huongkhin 9]

She has hit me repeatedly many times and I admit I had had enough one time and hit her back once.

If it was in the US, it would not end well.

Have you tried to sit down and have a heart to heart conversation with her? Point out things that you both disagree about each other and try to fix it.

Explain everything to her before bringing her over here because living in another country where you can't speak the language, can't drive,... is very hard. The more well prepared she's the better it's for both of you.

Good luck!