6 years later

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I'm glad to hear things went in your favor, Kat. You handled things better than most as far as not being vengeful towards your ex. I don't know how you held it together all those years with the way he was treating you but I do understand how being threatened could paralyze you into inaction. Congratulations on your divorce. I wish you the best.

I love the WHITE AMERICAN QUEEN part of your profile LOL

I was very much paralyzed and now that the legal part is over I am not relieved. I am not sad. I don't know exactly how I feel. But I do not feel scared any more. I felt very very very very very paralyzed. Grief did it to me as well as not wanting to go through anything else. I felt like if I just did nothing, things would change. The lawyer taking me aside and telling me he did indeed have rights to my equity in my house being that we had gone past the 5 year mark scared the living hell out of me. It was the impetus that it took to finalize things.I was extremely and still am, kind to him. I felt that ending it as humanely and kindly was what I wanted to carry out of this. Karma has slammed him right in the #### anyway so there was little I had to do.

[Laveau 67]

"Karma has slammed him right in the #### anyway so there was little I had to do."

What is his situation like now?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

"Karma has slammed him right in the #### anyway so there was little I had to do."

What is his situation like now?

His credit is a total mess because he opened cards and refused to pay them. He would not listen to me about going to school or do much of anything I told him to do, always listening to jackass friends who are not even in his life anymore.

We did not end as mortal enemies. I just wish things would have been a lot different. I wish busybody arabs would have kept their noses out of our life and when i was initally going through the divorce process NOT interfered. They made my life a total hell, always telling him to do this or that and recounting their horror stories with their american wives. The ironic thing is in the end, he did not even KNOW any of the people who made our life so hard.

My biggest problems with my ex husband and adjusting were 1, Know it all arabs who had no idea the bs I had to go through to bring my husband here.

2. And my ex husband himself because he did not realise anything I advised him to do was intelligent until it was too late. I encouraged him to go to school, refused. I warned him about paying bills and being on time, wouldnt listen. Told him not to quit jobs without notice, didnt listen. I told him to be careful as to who he hung around, wouldnt listen. Tried to explain to him about work, school , credit, how we live here. He modeled himself after scum bags who didnt want to live within the system. Now he has horrible credit,the know it alls went on with their life and he wasted years of my life and his own and made a wreck out of my life.

I got to hear how this one put a restraining order on his wife after she got upset when he left or how this one dumped his american wife...I used to be thrilled I had the inside track on the nonsense of greencard fraud. I now wish I never knew any of this nonsense. The pain my heart for these other women cant cover over my own brokenness, frankly. Its EMBARSSAING to be used for papers. I am not ANGRY. Its embarassing.. like not having boobs or a heart or anything. It totally SUCKS being nothing more than a means to an end for someone. I dont take any comfort in the fact his credit is a car wreck and he has a horrible work history. I just want my innocence back and to feel that crazy happy feeling I felt BEFORE he made a train wreck out of my life.. Trust me , people dont feel sorry for you. They think you are a dumb #### when you got taken. I meet women who go on a rampage and get super pissed, call immmigration.

All I did was cry and feel sorry for myself. Sorry to talk so bluntly but it hurt so damn bad , especially when I figured out the master plan and everyones intentions for my ####. If I would have let it go any further, I would have ended up probably sponsoring other family members and even more screwed. Sorry to open my heart.. I wonder if other women used for papers feel the same way I do. I am EMBARASSED about it.

Edited January 2, 2013 by Beauty for Ashes

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

His credit is a total mess because he opened cards and refused to pay them. He would not listen to me about going to school or do much of anything I told him to do, always listening to jackass friends who are not even in his life anymore.

We did not end as mortal enemies. I just wish things would have been a lot different. I wish busybody arabs would have kept their noses out of our life and when i was initally going through the divorce process NOT interfered. They made my life a total hell, always telling him to do this or that and recounting their horror stories with their american wives. The ironic thing is in the end, he did not even KNOW any of the people who made our life so hard.

My biggest problems with my ex husband and adjusting were 1, Know it all arabs who had no idea the bs I had to go through to bring my husband here.

2. And my ex husband himself because he did not realise anything I advised him to do was intelligent until it was too late. I encouraged him to go to school, refused. I warned him about paying bills and being on time, wouldnt listen. Told him not to quit jobs without notice, didnt listen. I told him to be careful as to who he hung around, wouldnt listen. Tried to explain to him about work, school , credit, how we live here. He modeled himself after scum bags who didnt want to live within the system. Now he has horrible credit,the know it alls went on with their life and he wasted years of my life and his own and made a wreck out of my life.

I got to hear how this one put a restraining order on his wife after she got upset when he left or how this one dumped his american wife...I used to be thrilled I had the inside track on the nonsense of greencard fraud. I now wish I never knew any of this nonsense. The pain my heart for these other women cant cover over my own brokenness, frankly. Its EMBARSSAING to be used for papers. I am not ANGRY. Its embarassing.. like not having boobs or a heart or anything. It totally SUCKS being nothing more than a means to an end for someone. I dont take any comfort in the fact his credit is a car wreck and he has a horrible work history. I just want my innocence back and to feel that crazy happy feeling I felt BEFORE he made a train wreck out of my life.. Trust me , people dont feel sorry for you. They think you are a dumb #### when you got taken. I meet women who go on a rampage and get super pissed, call immmigration.

All I did was cry and feel sorry for myself. Sorry to talk so bluntly but it hurt so damn bad , especially when I figured out the master plan and everyones intentions for my ####. If I would have let it go any further, I would have ended up probably sponsoring other family members and even more screwed. Sorry to open my heart.. I wonder if other women used for papers feel the same way I do. I am EMBARASSED about it.

Aww sweetie you're still in the grief/anger stage, and it will take some time to heal your heart and soul. But I have to say - I think you're projecting a lot of your anger onto the wrong people. Sure, maybe your ex-husband decided to take advice from strangers or casual acquaintances rather than listen to his own wife, but it's not the fault of the busybody Arabs - it's your ex-husband's fault. Sure, he acted like an idiot and a scumbag - and water often seeks its own level, so he likely found himself among similar company. But the problem is between you and him, and how he treated you. Nobody can force someone to treat his wife horribly unless he was pretty much inclined to do it already.

I really think you should write the whole experience out into your next book - you're a gifted writer and story-teller. There are so many compelling aspects to your personal story - love, drama, anguish, tragedy, anger, revenge, empowerment, and even revelations and transformation. Don't be embarrassed - this is real life and it's full of risks and heartaches, and I don't think there's anyone who's over 2 years old who has never made any mistakes. Everything that's happened in your life - the good, the bad, and the ugly - makes you into the person you are today, and you are the person who will shape your future. You're already on your way.

[Laveau 67]

WOM makes some excellent points.

And you, Kat, are a survivor.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

WOM makes some excellent points.

And you, Kat, are a survivor.

I am trying.. I ironically met a us citizen moroccan at the hospital when I went there for an infusion. Hes my age with 2 kids and divorced LOL

Lets see what happens..its just so ridiculous. I dont even care if it works out...the whole thing is just so ironic ! His bad experience was with a Moroccan woman and his brother married an american and is happy so he wants to be with americans LOL.. One of his friends is trying to pressure him to go marry one of his cousins to bring her here and this guy is like NO DRAMA OR IMMIGRATION PLEASE so its not just Americans who get stuck with greencard fraud!

Aww sweetie you're still in the grief/anger stage, and it will take some time to heal your heart and soul. But I have to say - I think you're projecting a lot of your anger onto the wrong people. Sure, maybe your ex-husband decided to take advice from strangers or casual acquaintances rather than listen to his own wife, but it's not the fault of the busybody Arabs - it's your ex-husband's fault. Sure, he acted like an idiot and a scumbag - and water often seeks its own level, so he likely found himself among similar company. But the problem is between you and him, and how he treated you. Nobody can force someone to treat his wife horribly unless he was pretty much inclined to do it already.

I really think you should write the whole experience out into your next book - you're a gifted writer and story-teller. There are so many compelling aspects to your personal story - love, drama, anguish, tragedy, anger, revenge, empowerment, and even revelations and transformation. Don't be embarrassed - this is real life and it's full of risks and heartaches, and I don't think there's anyone who's over 2 years old who has never made any mistakes. Everything that's happened in your life - the good, the bad, and the ugly - makes you into the person you are today, and you are the person who will shape your future. You're already on your way.

Thank you WOM. I wrote a short story called the slave of algiers and just wrote a short poem called Morphine!