dowry and rental car question

[Tahoma 2,292]

I'm always impressed at how much research people do into the lives and culture of their prospective wives.

There was one here, I think his name was Darren, who went so far as to learn the name of the village she was from.

I'm with Hank...no comment.

Edited November 16, 2012 by Tahoma

[madtownguy 164]

Set the ground rules for money going back home early and hold fast. There will always be some crisis. A niece that gets sick. A brother that breaks a leg. There is ALWAYS something.

Be careful paying a "bride price." This can get touchy later under US Law. You can't buy people and they should not be for sale. While there are culturally acceptable things to do, if you end up in the USA with a bride you "paid for" and there are issues, you will have trouble defending her claim that she had to marry you because you paid for her and her family forced her to marry you. It can get very messy very quickly. If some DA wants to press charges they could throw on a human trafficking charge and you can end up as a registered sex offender because you bought the family a motorcycle and a bag of rice out of cultural obligation.

If "bride price" is a serious issue in your relationship, odds are you are doomed. Walk away.

And don’t drive in the PI. It is not unheard of for poor parents to throw their kids in front of a car so they get hit and can get money. Though this is certainly not common, you need to be aware of the fact that if you are a foreigner and behind the wheel of a car you might as well be walking around with 1000 php notes hanging out of your pocket. You are just begging people to pick you off. It may be a true accident, or it might be a motorcycle that passes you and then sees who you are only to turn in front of you creating a collision.

If I lived life assuming the worse will happen I wouldn't leave my house. I'm pretty sure human trafficking charges are not likely to come from a dowry, that's a long stretch for that. I'm sure problems can arrise from renting a car, but it can from riding in a taxi too. I need something cuz I just want to cruise the countryside for a couple days and take pictures. I've been caught in the middle of scams in other countries and always got away with nothing out of pocket. Philippines is tame compared to Northern Mexico and D.R.

[rlogan 2,036]

Set the ground rules for money going back home early and hold fast. There will always be some crisis. A niece that gets sick. A brother that breaks a leg. There is ALWAYS something.

Be careful paying a "bride price." This can get touchy later under US Law. You can't buy people and they should not be for sale. While there are culturally acceptable things to do, if you end up in the USA with a bride you "paid for" and there are issues, you will have trouble defending her claim that she had to marry you because you paid for her and her family forced her to marry you. It can get very messy very quickly. If some DA wants to press charges they could throw on a human trafficking charge and you can end up as a registered sex offender because you bought the family a motorcycle and a bag of rice out of cultural obligation.

If "bride price" is a serious issue in your relationship, odds are you are doomed. Walk away.

And don’t drive in the PI. It is not unheard of for poor parents to throw their kids in front of a car so they get hit and can get money. Though this is certainly not common, you need to be aware of the fact that if you are a foreigner and behind the wheel of a car you might as well be walking around with 1000 php notes hanging out of your pocket. You are just begging people to pick you off. It may be a true accident, or it might be a motorcycle that passes you and then sees who you are only to turn in front of you creating a collision.

This is misinformation.

Bride price is common in a number of countries, some of which work out the marriage contract on paper listing out the assets being transferred explicitly, and there is no problems in immigration whatsoever. Look at some of the other regional sub-fora here and you will learn about this. That is one of the great hypocrisies in the whole "human trafficking" hysteria: bride price exists, it means exactly what it says, and it is legal. Some of these marriages are arranged, with or without bride price - with the bride doing what the parents tell her to do. Arranged marriages are also an accepted cultural fact.

This is not to deny a person can be prosecuted for the purchase of a human into bondage against their will. But the "rescue industry" pirates are greedy, selfish purveyors of propaganda that is designed to line their pockets with government grants and foundation money by misinforming people about this. Number one to horrify people by exaggerating or distorting what different traditions do, and number two to make us think things like bride price are illegal.

Driving -

I've been driving in the Philippines for over a decade. Six different islands, thousands of miles. The more common probelm is cops and even just road officals trying to intimidate you into a bribe. They've stopped me and claimed my international driver's license is not valid. Claimed I was driving with an even numbered license plate when only odd numbers could drive that day, claimed I did not stop long enough at a stop sign. Every one of them I wrote down their name and asked where their local commander's office was - and they immediately started backpedaling and stammering. On the other hand we have avoided tickets they could have given us by doing what everyone else was doing - running stop signs or turning left when it wasn't allowed - with a little "tip".

Traffic laws are largely ignored there, and you need to get accustomed to how people drive. Because they expect you to drive like they do, and if you don't it can cause an accident - ironically because you obeyed traffic laws.

Edited November 16, 2012 by rlogan