not that happy...

[Vicomi 31]

I hear a very intelligent lady coming through in your narrative. Perhaps you feel "stupid" because you don't feel sufficiently stimulated. Lots of good suggestions have already been mentioned, so please give it a go. Also consider doing volunteer work in your community, as this will help you to build up a social network and also help with your adjustment to life in the US. So with this, I wish you well in all you do and plan to do. God Bless and Happy Birthday (F)

[hamigirl710 112]

you already got lots of great advise so i just wanted to say Happy Birthday!!

I will add that if somebody is talking too fast for you don't be shy and just tell them I know I talk very fast in english and sometimes forget that not everybody talks so fast and if i was reminded I would make an effort to slow down so you could understand

[rlogan 2,036]

Another vote for webcam chats with family, if they don't have a computer at home then get them to the internet and send them the money to webchat with you.

TELL HUSBAND EVERYTHING. You've got to let him know how you feel. Just letting it out will make you feel better.

You need the liberty to walk around on your own, even if you don't understand the language perfectly. I did this in Philippines and my visayan was terrible. I was also subjected to a lot of harassment, which was annoying but staying cooped up in a room is worse.

[masipag 6]

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear your pain. which part of california are you in?maybe we can talk,hang out & visit each other during the time of"boredness":)I feel the same way girl your not alone

[pinay2013 0]

i actually dont know how to start. .. im happy being with my husband, we waited to be together for years and during those times of waiting i thought this was the greatet dream i ever had... and i still do believe in that though... only the part of adjusting to this new enviromnent makes me feel sad despite the fact that i had my dream to be with hubby came true now...

right now i cant stop crying coz i really miss being home. i miss our home in the phil especially my mom and my sister. my dad lives here in the US too but he's quite far, he in CT. It costs much to visit him.. Though I really wanna see him. I think seeing my dad might make my homesickness come off a li'l bit. But its costly to travel there. I really feel sad being alone at home while hubby is at work. Im trying to fight off the feeling but its too strong that I cant help but cry alone... I dont have anyone else to talk to when he's out and Im feeling bored doing the same things at home over and over.. Though Im kind of thankful with the chores coz thats only effin thing that makes me a li'l busy... II even feel so dumb here. I dont even know how to go to burger king alone. and besides I dont have any money so I definitely cant go anywhere. Hubby is taking care of all my needs and he's supportive but its also different to have your own money. I feel like I'm not capable of doing anything. I cant drive, I cant go out alone, I'm stuck being home. And one more thing, I do speak englis well enough to communicate but I sopmetimes find it hard to understand native english speakers when they talk too fast. I feel so dumb and stupid. How am I supposed to get a job if Im this dumb?!!! And I dont even applied for my AOS and EAD at this point! (more than a month now in CA) Our marriage certificate hasnt arrived yet... Uggghh evrything is a mess and I so feel like going home (Phil).. Im so lonely here... Im just staying here because of my hubby. Nothing else... What am I gonna do?

[ca_babe 129]

You need the liberty to walk around on your own, even if you don't understand the language perfectly. I did this in Philippines and my visayan was terrible. I was also subjected to a lot of harassment, which was annoying but staying cooped up in a room is worse.

This is exactly what I did during my first few months over here. I walked around the neighborhood. My husband also got me a monthly bus pass so I hopped on the bus and watched the view outside, got off at the last stop, got on it again when it's about to leave and got off at my stop. The good thing about buses over here is that they have a schedule so you know when it's supposed to arrive/leave. Then, the following day, I took another bus route and did the same thing. I took the same route as well over and over until I'm familiar with the surroundings. I've been to places that my husband hasn't even been to because I had lots of time on my hands. I was just always outside. I got more confident as time passes. I went to the grocery store even if I didn't need to buy anything just so that I could get used to my surroundings. I also took the subway and checked out the stops and see what's there. I also talked to the people next to me asking about directions and telling them that I was new in the area. The more I talked to people, the easier it was to understand them. I also went to DMV by bus or Social Security by myself. When we went out to eat, I'd order for me and my husband so that I'll get used to their accent. I live in Los Angeles so I had to get used to multiple countries' accents and not just Americans. I'd do the same thing over and over and after a while, it wasn't scary anymore. My advise is to just go out there!

[Fight for Love 98]

your situation is making me feel so sad now sis..gnyan lng po yn sa una. but at the end worthed nmn tas kpg nag bakasyon k s pinas dun k nmn m bobored ehehe lahat tyong galing pinas sis nag daan dyn..my advise try to find a friend kht fb lng or s internet pra m busy k...kya m yn

goodluck

[jmack 1]

scarlet

i am a guy usc ...first i wanta say welcome to america ...and happy birthday ..hang in there it will get better with time ...everyone has posted great ideas to keep you busy...me and fiance are waiting on noa2 now so we are hopefull she will be here by april ...i know she will be home sick we have already talked about thing for her to do ..till she is ready to get a job ...again just hang in there ...

[rlogan 2,036]

This is exactly what I did during my first few months over here. I walked around the neighborhood. My husband also got me a monthly bus pass so I hopped on the bus and watched the view outside, got off at the last stop, got on it again when it's about to leave and got off at my stop. The good thing about buses over here is that they have a schedule so you know when it's supposed to arrive/leave. Then, the following day, I took another bus route and did the same thing. I took the same route as well over and over until I'm familiar with the surroundings. I've been to places that my husband hasn't even been to because I had lots of time on my hands. I was just always outside. I got more confident as time passes. I went to the grocery store even if I didn't need to buy anything just so that I could get used to my surroundings. I also took the subway and checked out the stops and see what's there. I also talked to the people next to me asking about directions and telling them that I was new in the area. The more I talked to people, the easier it was to understand them. I also went to DMV by bus or Social Security by myself. When we went out to eat, I'd order for me and my husband so that I'll get used to their accent. I live in Los Angeles so I had to get used to multiple countries' accents and not just Americans. I'd do the same thing over and over and after a while, it wasn't scary anymore. My advise is to just go out there!

I hope scarlet reads this.

It turns your life into an adventure instead of feeling like you are locked up in a cage.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

If your Dad is on the mainland USA, you can find a cheap way to go visit him. Greyhound, train,etc

[Thatgirl2 21]

Feeling sad for yourself doesn't help your adjusting process. The way I look at it, specially for women, you have two voices in your head after you move and get married. One keeps telling you how happy you are to finally be with your husband, the sense of accomplishment and finally starting YOUR life, and the other is kinda like the voice of the past, remind you how good life was back home. You need to keep those two In sync and positive. When I moved to the states I instantly packed on 20 lbs from eating my emotions. I couldn't talk to my husband because his job is stressful and I couldn't talk to my mother back home because my country and past life style are stressful and unstable as it is.i completely understand how you feel, but you are the woman of the house now,you can't feel weak or bad for yourself. Being home sick is completely natural but wasting your time and life on it is not. It's your job to comfort yourself and cheer yourself up, build your confidence and make yourself feel good, because as much as the USC partner tries they can't understand it. Don't live your life the way that in five, ten years time you look at the first couple of years you spent in the us and think wow, I wasted time and energy. As far as you feeling dumb goes, don't. America is a young country with people of different races, cultures and countries. At one point even the most american Americans where in your shoes.

[aamirpearl 47]

I understand what you are saying and hope that it gets better but i want to say that why does a person come here for and the answer is for your love and not about being bored or the fact that adjusting is not going good for you. For your question at the end you said what am i going to do?? Try to find some fillipinas in your area and make friends with them, but just dont hang out with the wrong crowd like some stories i heard on here . Anyways good luck in your adjusting....

[Justud 42]

Hang in there. And dont fell dumb. Things will work out.

[islandgirl_2011 0]

It's not much for me to say you already got some of the best advise there is. But try not to worry too much it;s normal to feel that way. as someone suggest take the bus i did that ,when i go to visit my husband, and he have to work, i jump on the bus as long as you know your address you are ok, girl,and shortly after i was driving on the high ways all by my self ,i'm not telling to jump in a car but go out and learn your surroundings. And i thing you are very intelligent so don't put your self down by calling your self dumb.

Happy birthday

[Darnell 8,478]

If your Dad is on the mainland USA, you can find a cheap way to go visit him. Greyhound, train,etc

http://us.megabus.com