not that happy...

[Scarlet_ 0]

i actually dont know how to start. .. im happy being with my husband, we waited to be together for years and during those times of waiting i thought this was the greatet dream i ever had... and i still do believe in that though... only the part of adjusting to this new enviromnent makes me feel sad despite the fact that i had my dream to be with hubby came true now...

right now i cant stop crying coz i really miss being home. i miss our home in the phil especially my mom and my sister. my dad lives here in the US too but he's quite far, he in CT. It costs much to visit him.. Though I really wanna see him. I think seeing my dad might make my homesickness come off a li'l bit. But its costly to travel there. I really feel sad being alone at home while hubby is at work. Im trying to fight off the feeling but its too strong that I cant help but cry alone... I dont have anyone else to talk to when he's out and Im feeling bored doing the same things at home over and over.. Though Im kind of thankful with the chores coz thats only effin thing that makes me a li'l busy... II even feel so dumb here. I dont even know how to go to burger king alone. and besides I dont have any money so I definitely cant go anywhere. Hubby is taking care of all my needs and he's supportive but its also different to have your own money. I feel like I'm not capable of doing anything. I cant drive, I cant go out alone, I'm stuck being home. And one more thing, I do speak englis well enough to communicate but I sopmetimes find it hard to understand native english speakers when they talk too fast. I feel so dumb and stupid. How am I supposed to get a job if Im this dumb?!!! And I dont even applied for my AOS and EAD at this point! (more than a month now in CA) Our marriage certificate hasnt arrived yet... Uggghh evrything is a mess and I so feel like going home (Phil).. Im so lonely here... Im just staying here because of my hubby. Nothing else... What am I gonna do?

[renecherubs 18]

Give it time.Give your love a chance.this is only the transition period.soon you'll get the hang of things. Ask your husband to take maybe a week vacation from work to show you around.he may take you for snow sleding or other fun activities. Join us at happy ladies, pretty ladies in Facebook. We're akl filipina who went through the us visa process. Keep the faith.

[jameugiekaxavilon 25]

You are still in the stage of adjusting. Be patient in due time you will adjust on things around you. Living in the US is totally a full change especially when you used to a living where everybody is there; laughing; joking etc. Give it more time; you just need adjustment on the place and the life you are in now. And its just one month since you were married and in time once you get your status adjusted and got your employment authorization then everything will slowly fine. I will be praying for you on that!! Cheer up. Everything will gonna be okay in due time!! :).

[Scarlet_ 0]

thanks guys... i really wish il feel better soon. its my bday this week end... maybe thats the reason behind this emotional stuff. it feels so terrible..

[Freyja1208 2]

It is truly hard to be away from your family and to live in a new country.You will get homesick during the first few months but this will get better eventually. I know it's easier said than done but try to think of everything you and your hubby went through just to be together for good - that would mean so much.Count yourself as very lucky coz you are, indeed. Maybe you can join some Filipino groups based there in CA and meet new friends. Keep praying, give it time and everything will be better, sis.Advance Happy Birthday too and keep a wonderful smile on your face.Cheers!

[Scarlet_ 0]

It is truly hard to be away from your family and to live in a new country.You will get homesick during the first few months but this will get better eventually. I know it's easier said than done but try to think of everything you and your hubby went through just to be together for good - that would mean so much.Count yourself as very lucky coz you are, indeed. Maybe you can join some Filipino groups based there in CA and meet new friends. Keep praying, give it time and everything will be better, sis.Advance Happy Birthday too and keep a wonderful smile on your face.Cheers!

Thank you.

[Scarlet_ 0]

BTW really don't understand why does it take such long time for you to get your marriage license. When I and my husband applied for marriage license, I remember it only took a few hours including waiting in the line. Well maybe different locations have different regulations. Hope you and your husband can have your marriage license sooner than what they told you.

Its not the marriage licensewe are waiting for now, its the marriage certificate. we're already married. I want to file for AOS and EAD soon. but i need a certified copy of marriage cert to do that.

Thank you guys for the replies.. It counts a lot...

[KrystelKyle 16]

I know how you feel, when I was in Japan I never feel homesick like I am right now in the US but I just keep my self busy instead. I cook and make preserve food for my hubby so we can eat together when he get home. I walk or run in the morning and arrange my stuff hear read magazines and newspaper,go on VJ and read stuff and latest news on yahoo and any site. I sometimes play music and dance and exercise just to make time pass by quick being alone at home and got no one to talk. I do text my hubby a lot too haha. Give your self some time to adjust feel the cold weather in the US and keep your self busy just look for prospect jobs and don't think too much of being lonely or alone. Once you find some friends or job you'll definitely love it over here in the US :thumbs:

[jameugiekaxavilon 25]

thanks guys... i really wish il feel better soon. its my bday this week end... maybe thats the reason behind this emotional stuff. it feels so terrible..

I see your birthday is coming. Maybe you are thinking what it would be like since its your first time spending your birthday away with your family in the Philippines but atleast you are with your hubby now. Advance Happy birthday to you and I wish you will have a blast!! :)

[Joshuaching 11]

You just need more time to get used to everything which is relatively new to you. Be patient and find yourself something to do like to raise a pet in order to keep you busy. Be confident and gradually you will feel lot more easier compared to the feelings you have right now.

This is a natural feeling experienced by almost all newcomer to a foreign country. I am a guy but I, together with other guy friends who joined the US military, felt this deep sadness in our heart when we left the Philippines and started military training in California. To us, it's a feeling of total strangeness. It's a complete turn around from the life we knew. We all thought the US of America was all "technicolor" like in the movies, and were very sad to find out that the Philippines was more colorful in a different way..ha ha ha..LOL.

This is where "husbands" or "fiancees" should be more understanding of their partners. Otherwise, this is a simple problem that could escalate into something serious. Many of us husbands erroneously think that we are bringing our wives/fiances to "paradise". Only to find out and realize that to some wives/fiances, this is not entirely true. Paradise to us may not be paradise for them as this existence could be thought of as "imprisonment".

But don't worry, you'd get over it. WE ALL DID!!! Or at least 99% of us did!...Go out and walk around the neighborhood. I am sure that there's a friendly face out there somewhere. Practice your spoken English. The more frequent you do it, the better your accent/intonation would be. Chinese, Mexicans, other nationalities who are not well versed in English as you are manage to be successful in the US. I am sure that you'd find your niche there somewhere.

Good luck to you.

[bestofboston 36]

My wife was a school teacher in the Philippines. Like you, she can write english very well but she mis-pronounces words often and totally confuses me.

Don't feel ashame that you have trouble understanding english because of accents, etc. You will pick it up over time.

I often have a hard time understanding what some people are saying when in different parts of the USA and I was born here.

My wife stayed at home for the first 6 months when she came here. She got her first job in retail and obtained her drivers license shortly there after.

She is a very out going and friendly person and makes friends very easily. She now has tons of friends.

My wife has been in the USA for 1-1/2 years now.

I ask her when she wants to go back home for a visit. She seems to be in no hurry.

Between the internet Yahoo messenger and Magic Jack, she is able to talk and see and talk to her family often.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that her sister lives 1-1/2 hours away.

It sounds like your husband should give you a little bit of spending money so you can venture out of the house.

Some men like to control their wife but it is really better to trust your wife and give her the freedom she needs.

I know what you mean about the culture change. People talk to everyone back there in the Philippines. Not the same here.

Good luck.

[rehtse 1]

I fully understand you. I been here for almost 9 months and I'm still adjusting till now. The first three months really made me crazy too since I'm missing home so much. I can't drive so there's no way to get out without him driving for me. Just hang on there, and ask your husband for a weekend date outside. Once you process your AOS and EAD, things will be good since you can start to establish yourself again. Right now, be on facebook, skype, try to learn new recipes and exercise. As what my hubby said to me when I cried about my situation, "Just think like this is your vacation because once you get into work, you will wish one."

[USA-ALG 63]

Scarlet,

I'm wishing you joy, happiness, and peace on your special day. Birthdays are a symbol that you've succeeded a small part of this BIG journey.

Sadness and loneliness is a sign of times for change to come. Always remember to enjoy your quietness, enjoy relinquishing your privileges because it means there's room for greater things to come.

Loneliness is the sorrow of being alone...

Solitude is the joy of being alone.

Hang in there.... the choice is yours. Minor adjustment of your perceptions may make a big difference.

Happy birthday to yo!

Sincerely, E

[The Mean Lady 604]

BTW really don't understand why does it take such long time for you to get your marriage license. When I and my husband applied for marriage license, I remember it only took a few hours including waiting in the line. Well maybe different locations have different regulations. Hope you and your husband can have your marriage license sooner than what they told you.

I dont' know what this is in reference to, maybe another thread, but in IL you have to mail away for them. It took us like a week or 2 to receive. Can't remember since I was back in canada by the time they arrived.

[Tintin and Mike 127]

I remembered the feeling very well. I left Philippines while I was still in high school, imagine how terrible was that to leave my friends? Although my whole family migrated here with me but that didn't make me feel any better. At the time, I thought my friends were more important. Of course, as I finished high school and found job (wow Burger King was the best work place for me at the time LOL), I gradually don't miss my friends for I've found new sets of friends. But I guess that's different with families.

With the advent of technologies, there are lots of things to do now. Facebook, Skype, YM and the works. Imagine how hard it was 20 yrs ago? I remember writing them letters (which I still do with Mike btw).

So don't worry, you're just going through a phase and you'll soon be over it. Walk around the neighborhood only IF it's safe enough. Ask for at least $20 bucks from your hubby and a cell phone. Walk around and always go against the traffic.

Good luck!