Boring Stuff About My Life

[SAT 9,609]

The first weekend that I stayed with my husband, I would turn on the water full force in the morning because I didn't want him to hear me passing wind when I was using the toilet.

My sister told me that when she was first dating her husband, she would try to muffle the sound by placing toilet paper in between her bum cheeks so the sound would not echo in the toilet. I died laughing when she told me this

It would be very very hard to hide gas from my husband.

I have constant gas. Probably due to my chronic IBS.

It's horrible when we visit his sister, I'm always trying to hold in farts or walk to other parts of the house.

My gas always gets even worse when I leave my house.

Idk if I have nervous gas or something

omg that reminds me of the time we went to some crafts and stuff store with my fiancees (i always mess the spelling on this sorry) mom and we go thru the isles, he stays behind and I continued on a bit but then decided I wanted to check for something in the isle, that he stayed in for an unknown reason......apparently, he had copious amounts of gas and couldn't hold it anymore and I walked right into it He was actually blushing !!! It killed me.

and for karma purposes....

one time, he tells me he is going to shower (but being at the pc he kept sitting there and I was dying from tummy pains..) so anyways....30 mins later he finally leaves and I happily bomb the place and he decides to come back for his boxers or something.....I wished there was secret tunnel under the bed.....

<sigh> You gals have forever changed my perception of women...rof

[The Mean Lady 604]

KDH...I LOVE LOU MAL'S...best za hands down!!!

My husband asked me while eating it... "so... how do you make this? with like a gallon of cheese?'

Back on Gas, my husband has had terrible gas the past few days.

It's just awful.

And that's saying a lot because no one compares to the stench of my gas.

I literally cleared a classroom in 7th grade once.

Also blamed it on a girl that had just walked in from the library.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

The first weekend that I stayed with my husband, I would turn on the water full force in the morning because I didn't want him to hear me passing wind when I was using the toilet.

I still do that when I go #2!

The first week we stayed together, he was so worried about being untoward that I practically had to jump him just so he would touch me.

[SAT 9,609]

I still do that when I go #2!

The first week we stayed together, he was so worried about being untoward that I practically had to jump him just so he would touch me.

he musta thought you had the coodies....

[The Mean Lady 604]

My husband has a habit of pooping before his shower (so he doesn't flush so the shower temp doesn't change) but then he forgets to flush.

The other day I came back into the living room and yelled I JUST POOPED ON YOUR POOP!

And he said 'was it fun?'

And I said 'IT WAS INVIGORATING!'

Edited February 4, 2013 by KDH

[The Mean Lady 604]

I wrote a complaint letter to pizza hut last night.

My husband is hoping they will give him a free pizza.

We bought one on thursday and it was old, overcooked, and cold.

That was his Birthday dinner =[

Last time I wrote a complaint letter to them like 2 years ago, they gave me $50 in gift certs =O

[JTB11 1,079]

I once found a dead bug in my M&Ms....got a new big box of them..without bugs.....for free. Also, won 20 pounds of chocolate a while back and XXL hoodie...probably so that I have something to wear after I am done with the chocolate...

Nice work on the gas talk, I needed the laugh. Speaking of which......you know how everyone remembers their first kiss, I remember his first gas while I am in the room.....I thought it was Khloe the puppy so I gave her a bad look and he just kinda coughs and goes "ehm...that was me....kind of slipped out" oh the memories /dreamysigh

[The Mean Lady 604]

I once found a dead bug in my M&Ms....got a new big box of them..without bugs.....for free. Also, won 20 pounds of chocolate a while back and XXL hoodie...probably so that I have something to wear after I am done with the chocolate...

Nice work on the gas talk, I needed the laugh. Speaking of which......you know how everyone remembers their first kiss, I remember his first gas while I am in the room.....I thought it was Khloe the puppy so I gave her a bad look and he just kinda coughs and goes "ehm...that was me....kind of slipped out" oh the memories /dreamysigh

For my first kiss, he planted a quick one on me and then pushed me out of the car.

Seriously. Pushed me. Out.

It wasn't moving.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

he musta thought you had the coodies....

I have only dated nerds who often ended up friendzoned from their own experience, so I know if I want this to go where I want it to, I have to be somewhat aggressive. Otherwise, they are paralyzed with the fear I am not interested. But I knew they were interested and that's where the fun was for me.

Edited February 4, 2013 by Wacken

[Dr. Obvious 49]

For my first kiss, he planted a quick one on me and then pushed me out of the car.

Seriously. Pushed me. Out.

It wasn't moving.

Our men know what women want.

[JTB11 1,079]

For my first kiss, he planted a quick one on me and then pushed me out of the car.

Seriously. Pushed me. Out.

It wasn't moving.

......!

I have only dated nerds who often ended up friendzoned from their own experience, so I know if I want this to go where I want it to, I have to be somewhat aggressive. Otherwise, they are paralyzed with the fear I am not interested. But I knew they were interested and that's where the fun was for me.

Das ist so Evil, ja ja

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Das ist so Evil, ja ja

My husband had been friendzoned a lot. I couldn't figure out the exact reason why myself, beyond the general metalhead, computer nerd/gamer aspect of him. He had the best goat beard when I met him. I guess that only appeals to oddballs like myself.

Edited February 4, 2013 by Wacken

[The Mean Lady 604]

My husband had been friendzoned a lot. I couldn't figure out the exact reason why myself, beyond the general metalhead, computer nerd/gamer aspect of him. He had the best goat beard when I met him. I guess that only appeals to oddballs like myself.

I think of my husband as a manslut.

It's only recently that I figured out he hasn't slept with as many people as I thought he did.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

My husband had been friendzoned a lot. I couldn't figure out the exact reason why myself, beyond the general metalhead, computer nerd/gamer aspect of him. He had the best goat beard when I met him. I guess that only appeals to oddballs like myself.

Mine wasn't even friendzoned, he has no female friends and Danish women really never gave him a second look. I happen to think he is perfect and meets all the American criteria for super awesome: tall, handy, strong, blue collar, good provider, etc. but maybe it isn't what women here look for? I have yet to dive that deep into the culture that I can explain it. Maybe it is like how me being a single mother was largely the kiss of death in American dating?

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Mine wasn't even friendzoned, he has no female friends and Danish women really never gave him a second look. I happen to think he is perfect and meets all the American criteria for super awesome: tall, handy, strong, blue collar, good provider, etc. but maybe it isn't what women here look for? I have yet to dive that deep into the culture that I can explain it. Maybe it is like how me being a single mother was largely the kiss of death in American dating?

Got me. He is still in contact with at least one of these women (I've met her and she is nice enough). She is still looking for her dream man, whatever that is. She has a very successful career, money, nice house, but she only cares about bad boy looks and finds some real losers to be with. Whines to my husband every now and again about how her last boyfriend dumped her for some stocker at Lidl or whatever. She's getting older and is afraid she'll never marry or have kids, but she's not willing to compromise on the bad boy looks issue.