I feel completely hopeless

[Lyric 0]

At this point, I figure it probably would be best for me to come up there and get married. But that is AFTER I get authorization to do so due to my previous divorce. Takes an expensive letter from an attorney then it has to be sent in to a certain office in Thunder Bay. That supposedly takes weeks to do. sigh. THEN we can get married.

There is no way I can get a work visa up there or anything. I don't know how NAFTA works. I'm just a clerical worker in an office. So, my job barely pays anything as it is and that's why money is so tight to start with.

If we were to get married up there, do I have to withdraw the K-1 Visa first or does it matter? Does anyone know?

[john_and_marlene 162]

If it was up to me, I would have had him come here. When it comes to someone's LIFE money means nothing. sigh. He unfortunately didn't see it that way and there's nothing I can do about that.

He made the correct decision. The money may not mean anything to you, but it does to medical facilities. A few years ago a friend of mine had a rare endocrine cancer. There are few facilities that had specialists for her type of cancer. Even though she had insurance, the facility that had the correct specialists was not in her medical plan's network. She inquired about treatment there outside of her network. They would not even make an appointment for her unless she made an initial payment of $200,000. She died a few months later.

If he came here without insurance, he would not get the treatment he required no matter how willing you are to pay later.

Edited November 3, 2006 by john_and_marlene

[Reba 2]

I don't think you have to necessarily withdraw the K1 visa petition. But AFAIR, he'd already been scheduled for an interview right? If so, he can just email the consulate and let them know plans have changed. They're only going to hold onto it for a year (maybe less?) I think anyhow, and he may not be finished treatments by the time it expires and you'd have to start over.

If you want to forgo the whole getting the marriage license from T-Bay, can your fiance go to the US to get married over a weekend maybe? Go to Niagara Falls er summat?

NAFTA only applies if you have a university degree and have a company ready to sponsor you for a work contract. As a clerical worker, I don't think that is open to you, unless you have some specialty and about 13 years of on the job experience that no one else in Canada can do.

Yes, the paperwork is a pain in the #######, and you're afraid for your fiance, that's understandable. But you just have to figure out what you're going to do and do it. And you have to support his decision to stay where he is, in the long run, it really is better. The standard of care is no better or worse in either country, its just a matter of money. You'll be selling everything you own, and will be in debt for a lifetime to pay hospital bills in the US, but in Canada its covered. Having to worry about money is not something anyone going thru cancer treatments should have to deal with.

There are a few websites about Canadian immigration, have a look around (British Expats has info I think) to figure out timelines and where to send forms and whatnot.

[girl 37 7]

At this point, I figure it probably would be best for me to come up there and get married. But that is AFTER I get authorization to do so due to my previous divorce. Takes an expensive letter from an attorney then it has to be sent in to a certain office in Thunder Bay. That supposedly takes weeks to do. sigh. THEN we can get married.

Is that an Ontario-specific requirement? My husband and I didn't have to do that in BC. (He's divorced.)

[Lyric 0]

I don't think you have to necessarily withdraw the K1 visa petition. But AFAIR, he'd already been scheduled for an interview right? If so, he can just email the consulate and let them know plans have changed. They're only going to hold onto it for a year (maybe less?) I think anyhow, and he may not be finished treatments by the time it expires and you'd have to start over.

If you want to forgo the whole getting the marriage license from T-Bay, can your fiance go to the US to get married over a weekend maybe? Go to Niagara Falls er summat?

NAFTA only applies if you have a university degree and have a company ready to sponsor you for a work contract. As a clerical worker, I don't think that is open to you, unless you have some specialty and about 13 years of on the job experience that no one else in Canada can do.

Yes, the paperwork is a pain in the #######, and you're afraid for your fiance, that's understandable. But you just have to figure out what you're going to do and do it. And you have to support his decision to stay where he is, in the long run, it really is better. The standard of care is no better or worse in either country, its just a matter of money. You'll be selling everything you own, and will be in debt for a lifetime to pay hospital bills in the US, but in Canada its covered. Having to worry about money is not something anyone going thru cancer treatments should have to deal with.

There are a few websites about Canadian immigration, have a look around (British Expats has info I think) to figure out timelines and where to send forms and whatnot.

Yeah, I thought about that too, Reba. Him meeting me at Niagra on the US side and getting married so we woouldn't have to deal with the time and expense of Ontario #######. But I had spoken with someone who helps people deal with k-1 visas all the time and he said we could be accused of fraud b/c of the K-1. sigh. I dunno. Then there's the whole, "Why are you coming into the U.S. question" I wouldn't want that to ever come back and bite us in the butt if all goes well and we'd ever decide to come back to the U.S. You know what I mean? Maybe I'm being too paranoid. I don't even know anymore My fiance may not even want to marry at this point b/c of the uncertainty of the illness. I just want to find out all our options so that we can make the best decision possible that we can live with.

[Jersey Girl 2]

Lyric, I've been reading your story and it breaks my heart. I wish I had some concrete information that would point you in the directions you're asking. I don't. So I'm going to sidestep the marriage/visa/medical expense issues and take another tack.

If you have any faith in God, now is the time to surrender yourself to his mercy. Ask for guidance and strength. There are rare times in our lives when absolutely everything seems beyond our control. The rug has been pulled out from under us. We are panicked and helpless. These are exactly the times when God can work within us.

I know you're going nuts trying to figure out a plan ... what to do next. All I can offer is that you spend some time, everyday, in prayer, if this is possible, given your personal beliefs.

Right now, we don't understand why certain things are happening. Maybe someday, we'll see how it all worked for the best. In the meantime, ask God for the big miracles only he can do. Ask for peace for both of you. Ask for a clear path that is his will. Ask for the wisdom to help your fiance through this trial. What's happening may not be about a visa. It may be bigger than that. You are in my prayers. (big hug)

Edited November 4, 2006 by Jersey Girl

[Reba 2]

Is that an Ontario-specific requirement? My husband and I didn't have to do that in BC. (He's divorced.)

Yep, its an Ontario thing. Its almost like having to get permission from the Province to marry a divorced foreigner before you can even apply for the license. Its a pain in the #######. But they say it only takes about a week or so from what I remember. You have to submit divorce decrees to the registrar before they'll issue a marriage license.

Lyric, your fiance would only be accused of fraud if you got married in the US and then continued the application for K1 as fiances and if he stayed in the US. That isn't the case here tho is it? You're planning to return to Canada for medical treatments, and he can prove that. If after he's completed his treatments, and you decide to move to the US you'd have to apply for K3 or CR1, K1 would no longer be open to you because you'll be married (assuming you decide to get married).

If you want to forgo marriage at the moment, you can also go to Canada as a conjugal partner, and if you like, get married after you're already there and settled and have the time to fuss with the marriage license. Conjugal sponsorship is only a slight bit more involved than spousal sponsorship, and if you have friends and family who would be willing to write out affidavits that they know both of you and know of your relationship, then you're good to go.

[neiks 19]

I'm so sorry for your situation. I am not an expert in the immigration side of CBSA but I think I should mention to you that if may not be that easy for your spouse to immigrate to Canada with his medical problems. Canada too has a medical exam that must be passed and have heard of long delays for people with medical conditions with pending applications. CIC is going to probably make inquiries into your application to esure that it is bon a fide and not a bogus claim to bring a foreigner into the country to benefit from our Medicare system.

Canada health care system is drastically overburdern as is and generally doesn't take it kindly when someone comes in to take a space in line that pushes a citizen/resident back that has paid into Canadian taxes for years and years in support of the "free" medicare.

I'm sorry. I think I have your story incorrect. Your husband is the Canadian and you are the one possibly immigrating to Canada.

Please disregard my last post.

[Married_my_love 0]

I'm sorry. I think I have your story incorrect. Your husband is the Canadian and you are the one possibly immigrating to Canada.

Please disregard my last post.

yes he is in Canada already, they were already scheduled at Montreal for his interview to go stateside... she is re-thinking and trying to decide if she should immigrate this way.

Edited November 5, 2006 by Married_my_love

[Marriednow 4]

I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't. Of course we postponed the interview b/c my fiance didn't want to saddle me with the burden of debt for his medical bills here in the U.S. (if they would have given him a visa in the first place) But I have been researching immigrating to Canada and I can't even believe how complicated and expensive it is!!!! I just don't know how we would be able to survive if I came there married and applied within. There's just no way

Not only that but the stupid doctors there are totally screwing with his life. He was diagnosed a month ago and it could be at LEAST one month before anything is done. They're going to kill him. Now I wish he would have done the medical and the visa interview to come here, IF I could have talked him into it. Money means nothing when it comes to someone's life. I just don't know what to do anymore.

GOD BLESS YOU SWEETHEART, YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS. ALL THIS ####### SUCKS FOR SURE!!!

[carslo 0]

This is the "visa journey" like site for Canadian immigration. I might be too late, but perhaps your troubles have lessened and this site might help.

Carlso

http://www.roadtocanada.com/

[Davin and Rachel 0]

as far as the getting married in canada (with a divorce) part goes... I recently jumped through those hoops, and it wasnt too too bad.. Getting the actual mariage certificate afterwards was the bad part.

Take your US divorce decree to an CA lawyers office... any will do... He'll give it a read through, and make sure the requirements for canadian divorce are satisfied. He just types up a letter, which you then ship off to thunder bay (Allong with your wedding date set)

Once your married, however, you have to apply for the certificate before you can procede with any imagration stuff... that was a 3 month problem for us. They would not expidite it (like they did with the license to get married) because there was no "solid date" we needed it by... so they drug their feet.

Since your looking into making the move to canada... waiting of the actual mariage certificate may not be such a problem for you, as im not sure when/where they will require that.

[h_bomb 0]

lyric, i am sorry to hear about your situation. feel free to ask me any questions about canadian immigration. i am a landed permanent resident in canada. it's about $2,000 before it's over and it will be about 10 months before you are able to work.

[G&A 1]

Lyric, very sorry to hear this terrible news. My prayers are with you.

Dont know if this will help you at all, but 2 of my friends just sponsored their husbands from the middle east last year(to Canada). The paper work took about a weekend to complete (in my opinion the american process is way way uglier...but maybe that is just because i personally didnt go through the canadian process). Both of their husbands came from the middle east (get grilled WAY WAY WAY more than americans do) and were in the country with work permits within three months of the time the applications were sent to CIC. BUT they came to Alberta (massive labour shortage). I am not sure if the speedy process had anything to do with that.

Hope this helps you, stay strong and you and your fiance will get through this and have a long happy life together. May God bless you both.

A

[vnoe 0]

Lyric

I am so sorry to hear of everything that is happening. I know you will figure it out... I have heard that God can't give us anymore than we can handle. I'm not a "religious" person, but for some reason I have always understood what that meant.

My thoughts are with you.

((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))