MENA BICKERING

[Captain Ewok 1,871]

I will be honest that there is more arguing in this forum than any other by far. More reported posts, etc. Something needs to stop soon please.

I for one would like to apologize for anything I have said that is causing these problems. Come on guys....can't we just learn to be a little more considerate of each other? I know there are times I have things that I am thinking, but decide its best to keep to myself in the name of peace. Anyone else willing to try this? Also, we need to learn to laugh, not at others, but with others. And if that means at myself, so be it.

We really do need more maturity here.

Oh my god are you kidding me? This is rediculous. Did you read your posts?

This is exactly what I am talking about. I am apologizing, and I am rarely an instagator of anything here. We all need to stop looking at what each other is saying and looking at ourselves. This is why I apologized.

Perfect example. Honestly you have no need to defend yourself. Let your record speak for itself. If someone accuses you of something that you think is wrong politely disagree and let your record (strongest evidence in any case) speak for itself.

[chri'stina 190]

I will be honest that there is more arguing in this forum than any other by far. More reported posts, etc. Something needs to stop soon please.

I'm curious who is doing all the reporting. Is it the people who are doing the bickering and using the report button as another way of getting revenge. Or is it outside people with no axe to grind that just are shocked by what they see here.

I think the anwser to how to make it stops lies in this

I think it's a combination of both.

On Visajourney there are Terms of Service, that we are supposed to uphold as an agreement to be allowed to post here.

If someone is violating the TOS, they may get reported. Either by someone involved in the fight who is offended, or by people watching who can't believe how far people go.

Terms Of Service

Just one small piece of the TOS:

"Permitted Uses. You agree that you are responsible for any Content and communications that you Post and for any consequences thereof. You agree to use the Service (including but not limited to the discussion forums) only to send and receive messages, material, and in general Content that is “in conformity with or permitted by law” (legal), proper and if part of the discussion forums then also related to the particular subject matter. By way of example, and not as a limitation, you agree that when using the Service, you will not:

.........

-Make comments in a Post either direct or implied toward another member that are purposely designed to upset, antagonize, make fun of, belittle, or otherwise instigate an argument that takes away from the personal enjoyment of the Service by other users."

That part of the TOS is violated all the time on VJ. And if someone reports it, they are doing nothing wrong actually.

[Captain Ewok 1,871]

Bottom line is that people outside of this forum are being affected by people/topics in this forum. That needs to stop.

I tend to agree with a previous poster that people seem to be hyper sensitive recently in this forum. If they are insulted they get upset more than normal. A rational response to someone accusing another of being a racist would be to say, "No I am not and my record speaks for itself". But in this forum the answer would be more along the lines of "#######!!!! Screw you. You are this and that and I am right and you are wrong!!! This may get me suspended so I will say it regardless... xyz....".

I would ask that people do not get offended so easily. The nice part about forums is that everything people say is recorded for everyone to see so that others can form their own opinions about what person xyz said and meant.

I don't see how anyone from outside of this forum gets affected. I also wanted to add that alot of time these bickering threads are fueled by outside help

Just today a topic was posted in Off Topic declaring 'war in this forum" and inviting people to come in to participate.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I think the sooner everyone accepts that VJ is not a place of lollipops and gumdrops and people stop parenting others, we will be fine.

[Captain Ewok 1,871]

I will be honest that there is more arguing in this forum than any other by far. More reported posts, etc. Something needs to stop soon please.

I'm curious who is doing all the reporting. Is it the people who are doing the bickering and using the report button as another way of getting revenge. Or is it outside people with no axe to grind that just are shocked by what they see here.

I think the anwser to how to make it stops lies in this

I think it's a combination of both.

On Visajourney there are Terms of Service, that we are supposed to uphold as an agreement to be allowed to post here.

If someone is violating the TOS, they may get reported. Either by someone involved in the fight who is offended, or by people watching who can't believe how far people go.

Terms Of Service

Just one small piece of the TOS:

"Permitted Uses. You agree that you are responsible for any Content and communications that you Post and for any consequences thereof. You agree to use the Service (including but not limited to the discussion forums) only to send and receive messages, material, and in general Content that is “in conformity with or permitted by law” (legal), proper and if part of the discussion forums then also related to the particular subject matter. By way of example, and not as a limitation, you agree that when using the Service, you will not:

.........

-Make comments in a Post either direct or implied toward another member that are purposely designed to upset, antagonize, make fun of, belittle, or otherwise instigate an argument that takes away from the personal enjoyment of the Service by other users."

That part of the TOS is violated all the time on VJ. And if someone reports it, they are doing nothing wrong actually.

That portion is of course subjective for sure but totally necessary to have.

[morocco4ever 63]

I will be honest that there is more arguing in this forum than any other by far. More reported posts, etc. Something needs to stop soon please.

I for one would like to apologize for anything I have said that is causing these problems. Come on guys....can't we just learn to be a little more considerate of each other? I know there are times I have things that I am thinking, but decide its best to keep to myself in the name of peace. Anyone else willing to try this? Also, we need to learn to laugh, not at others, but with others. And if that means at myself, so be it.

We really do need more maturity here.

Oh my god are you kidding me? This is rediculous. Did you read your posts?

This is exactly what I am talking about. I am apologizing, and I am rarely an instagator of anything here. We all need to stop looking at what each other is saying and looking at ourselves. This is why I apologized.

That's very nice but are you only applying it to this thread?

Sarah, you just don't get it. I am apologizing, end of story. This thread, any thread. Honestly now, how often do you see me attacking anyone? I engage in conversation, and I do offer my opinion, but I don't go around calling people names and attack their beliefs. I have also learned the benefit of not taking life too seriously. I doubt you will find many people here that will say I have offended them.

I remember a time not so long ago that you were stressing about Hicham's interview. I remember how much time I spent reassuring you that you had no red flags, and that you would be fine. Do you remember that?

[chri'stina 190]

I think the sooner everyone accepts that VJ is not a place of lollipops and gumdrops and people stop parenting others, we will be fine.

And people also have to accept to follow the TOS. The issue comes up when the TOS is violated, IMO. Either the TOS would have to be changed or we have to try to follow them better.

But for me, VJ has been a very nice place on many occasions. I have so many happy memories from it during Sujeet's visa process.

Edited October 31, 2006 by stina&suj

[Captain Ewok 1,871]

I think the sooner everyone accepts that VJ is not a place of lollipops and gumdrops and people stop parenting others, we will be fine.

I think once everyone treats people like they would if they were sitting across the table from them in public then things will get better. Just because this is the internet there is no excuse for giving other people less respect.

[jordanianprincess 0]

Bottom line is that people outside of this forum are being affected by people/topics in this forum. That needs to stop.

I tend to agree with a previous poster that people seem to be hyper sensitive recently in this forum. If they are insulted they get upset more than normal. A rational response to someone accusing another of being a racist would be to say, "No I am not and my record speaks for itself". But in this forum the answer would be more along the lines of "#######!!!! Screw you. You are this and that and I am right and you are wrong!!! This may get me suspended so I will say it regardless... xyz....".

I would ask that people do not get offended so easily. The nice part about forums is that everything people say is recorded for everyone to see so that others can form their own opinions about what person xyz said and meant.

I don't see how anyone from outside of this forum gets affected. I also wanted to add that alot of time these bickering threads are fueled by outside help

Just today a topic was posted in Off Topic declaring 'war in this forum" and inviting people to come in to participate.

So Mawlison made a fighting thread in OT which is something that happens a whole lot in OT and its because of MENA? There is more fighting in Off topic and more insults in Off Topic than anywhere else in this website. There are also alot more things that are allowed to slide there, particularly the arab bashing threads which no one ever seems to care about. I don't think anyone in OT has a problem starting a war with or without MENA help.

[Jenn! 918]

I used to get upset often at posts. ("thinking of leaving" anyone? )

I think the longer you stick around, you just get immune to it and start to enjoy the entertainment. I can't say this with any certainty, but I would bet that it's some of the newer members who are most bothered (and who have possibily used report).

This isn't to say that certain things still don't bother me, but I think I've also done my fair share in contributing to some of the antics here as well. Some people do get upset at hearing negative comments, even if it is on this fairly anonymous internet forum. I see no problems with using the ignore button, even if some other members will think you're wimpy because of it.

[Captain Ewok 1,871]

I will be honest that there is more arguing in this forum than any other by far. More reported posts, etc. Something needs to stop soon please.

I for one would like to apologize for anything I have said that is causing these problems. Come on guys....can't we just learn to be a little more considerate of each other? I know there are times I have things that I am thinking, but decide its best to keep to myself in the name of peace. Anyone else willing to try this? Also, we need to learn to laugh, not at others, but with others. And if that means at myself, so be it.

We really do need more maturity here.

Oh my god are you kidding me? This is rediculous. Did you read your posts?

This is exactly what I am talking about. I am apologizing, and I am rarely an instagator of anything here. We all need to stop looking at what each other is saying and looking at ourselves. This is why I apologized.

That's very nice but are you only applying it to this thread?

Sarah, you just don't get it. I am apologizing, end of story. This thread, any thread. Honestly now, how often do you see me attacking anyone? I engage in conversation, and I do offer my opinion, but I don't go around calling people names and attack their beliefs. I have also learned the benefit of not taking life too seriously. I doubt you will find many people here that will say I have offended them.

I remember a time not so long ago that you were stressing about Hicham's interview. I remember how much time I spent reassuring you that you had no red flags, and that you would be fine. Do you remember that?

NO need to defend yourself. Especially the way you defended yourself by calling them out for old posts they made may inflame things. Like I said, if you feel you are right let the record stand. You do not need to keep the arguement alive. It may be in fact what they want (the opportunity to argue). This is a generic piece of advice.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I think the sooner everyone accepts that VJ is not a place of lollipops and gumdrops and people stop parenting others, we will be fine.

And people also have to accept to follow the TOS. The issue comes up when the TOS is violated, IMO. Either the TOS would have to be changed or we have to try to follow them better.

But for me, VJ has been a very nice place on many occasions. I have so many happy memories from it during Sujeet's visa process.

So we have to just agree with each other all day? You know darn well no one would come here if it was just for well wishing.

I think the sooner everyone accepts that VJ is not a place of lollipops and gumdrops and people stop parenting others, we will be fine.

I think once everyone treats people like they would if they were sitting across the table from them in public then things will get better. Just because this is the internet there is no excuse for giving other people less respect.

Exactly and I would not allow another adult to slap me on my wrist for disagreeing with them. Someone disagrees with you and its an insult?

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

So Mawlison made a fighting thread in OT ...

It was I, not mawilson.

[Captain Ewok 1,871]

Bottom line is that people outside of this forum are being affected by people/topics in this forum. That needs to stop.

I tend to agree with a previous poster that people seem to be hyper sensitive recently in this forum. If they are insulted they get upset more than normal. A rational response to someone accusing another of being a racist would be to say, "No I am not and my record speaks for itself". But in this forum the answer would be more along the lines of "#######!!!! Screw you. You are this and that and I am right and you are wrong!!! This may get me suspended so I will say it regardless... xyz....".

I would ask that people do not get offended so easily. The nice part about forums is that everything people say is recorded for everyone to see so that others can form their own opinions about what person xyz said and meant.

I don't see how anyone from outside of this forum gets affected. I also wanted to add that alot of time these bickering threads are fueled by outside help

Just today a topic was posted in Off Topic declaring 'war in this forum" and inviting people to come in to participate.

So Mawlison made a fighting thread in OT which is something that happens a whole lot in OT and its because of MENA? There is more fighting in Off topic and more insults in Off Topic than anywhere else in this website. There are also alot more things that are allowed to slide there, particularly the arab bashing threads which no one ever seems to care about. I don't think anyone in OT has a problem starting a war with or without MENA help.

No, the thread in OT simply had a link to this forum where it said lots of fighting was going on. Hence pulling others into this. Why was that necessary other than to create drama?

[chri'stina 190]

I think the sooner everyone accepts that VJ is not a place of lollipops and gumdrops and people stop parenting others, we will be fine.

And people also have to accept to follow the TOS. The issue comes up when the TOS is violated, IMO. Either the TOS would have to be changed or we have to try to follow them better.

But for me, VJ has been a very nice place on many occasions. I have so many happy memories from it during Sujeet's visa process.

So we have to just agree with each other all day? You know darn well no one would come here if it was just for well wishing.

There is a difference between disagreeing and violating the TOS or mudslinging. I have seen many people respectfully disagree on VJ.