MENA BICKERING

[Fandango 1,439]

i don't believe anyone here makes the choice in a SO to please someone else, do they? it's to make themself happy and certainly not you.

Exactly Charles, so stop worrying about Sarah's comments as they have nothing to do with yours and Nessa's happiness.

That picture is just gross!

I'm offended for the person! Surely heavyset people have a right to have fun?

[chri'stina 190]

There is clearly a gap here that doesn't look like it's going to get crossed anytime soon.

Some people found those comments insulting, some did not. We can't tell people that they aren't allowed to feel insulted if they were. And we can't make people insulted who were not. I don't think it has anything to do with validation. *shrugs*

It's like a political debate...the two sides are so far apart they never come to an agreement and just keep arguing their side. But each side feels they are right. So we should just let it be for now and I think many people have agreed to disagree by now.

[morocco4ever 63]

i don't believe anyone here makes the choice in a SO to please someone else, do they? it's to make themself happy and certainly not you.

Exactly Charles, so stop worrying about Sarah's comments as they have nothing to do with yours and Nessa's happiness.

That picture is just gross!

I'm offended for the person! Surely heavyset people have a right to have fun?

Nope, and thats my opinion. Fun is for the young and beautiful only.

[Fandango 1,439]

Nope, and thats my opinion. Fun is for the young and beautiful only.

You forgot thin

[morocco4ever 63]

Nope, and thats my opinion. Fun is for the young and beautiful only.

You forgot thin

You got me there! Anything else I missed?

[Bosco 1]

Nope, and thats my opinion. Fun is for the young and beautiful only.

You forgot thin

You got me there! Anything else I missed?

rich?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Thanks for that, doodlebug! Sarah has insulted older women/younger man couples a multitude of times. She's emboldened by those who support her views and believe she can say whatever she wants about them coz it's her "personal preference". Personal preference, the new euphemism for rude.

um not only older women/younger men, but vice versa. as i'm older than nessa by almost 18 years, i do find that blanket statement below to be offensive. the fact remains that each person is free to choose who they wish to be with and to denigrate that choice opens the speaker to criticism in kind. in essence, such statements about a persons relationship being "gross" could be considered to be a personal attack and impolite, and such needs to come to a screeching halt.

Put yourself in my position at 23 years old. I don't like the thought of my Mom marrying a man close to my age... it creeps me out. I don't like the thought of me marrying a man who is almost 50... that creeps me out since my Dad is in his 50's. I cannot possible put myself in your position. Why then is everyone getting riled up about me thinking it's "gross". I am not the same age as you guys and I can't relate so you should just brush it off and I hope you do. I don't like thinking that someday when I'm 50 I might marry someone who is 25.... because as of right now, that person wouldn't even exist yet and there isn't even a diaper to change.

sarah, the fact remains that such is your mom's choice, not yours. i don't believe anyone here makes the choice in a SO to please someone else, do they? it's to make themself happy and certainly not you. if your mom wants to marry some guy younger than you, more power to her. if my dad wants to marry some woman younger than me, i'll just say "go grandpa" and be happy for him. this world has enough judgement in it, don't it?

I do not think my comment was thoughtless or rude or insulting . I think if you try to understand where I am then you will know why it's weird for me to think about that.

I hope this can stop now....

it was - all of those bolded. please be more thoughtful in the future as such offended a few of your friends.

You're right, Charles. I apologize for not including older men/younger women in my manifesto.

Why don't you try understanding and being sensitive to someone else for a change?

I thouight PC was a bad thing? Now I am confused. Are we suppose to be snesitive to our words or tell people that disagree with ourcharacterization of words to get over it?

when the person demands sensitivity and consideration for themselves . . . ,

I do not think my comment was thoughtless or rude or insulting . I think if you try to understand where I am then you will know why it's weird for me to think about that.

I hope this can stop now....

. . . but is unwilling to become self-aware and offer the sensitivity they ask for to others (note the repeated offenses in the quotes above), there is nothing politically correct about reminding them that what they expect they should be ready to give.

The continued approval and support for the rudeness and callousness of some popular and favored posters over those who do not conform to some nebulus norm that provides them the safety of favoritism on the boards should be disturbing, but it's not, and that's disturbing.

[Private 1]

I know that my two cents does not matter much and I have to say that I am very reluctant to post on here. But I think it all boils down to respect. Sometimes people assume things and they attack and it is neither necessary nor fair to the individual. We all come here to learn and find some comfort, you know someone that is going through the same that you are. I for one have made very good friends on this board and a lot of the women that are a part of it do not post because they feel like they will be attacked. IF everyone says something is not right, then everyone can not possibly be lying or making things up. After my experience on this board I have learned that only the women how had been in my position understood what was going on. (Which is so nice, thanks Kiyah/CHI!!!!!) It would be nice if we could have some of the information that they provide on here because it could help everyone not just those that get denied.

I for one did not appreciate being called a liar and a fraud. And I think that people try to find all kinds of things. Like someone read my profile- I posted my story, I posted the truth and then someone attacked it. Top of this the people act like I printed out my VJ profile and sent it in. And someone said that I did not understand the visa process; I mean who did before they came to this board? I sat at work and cried for hours after receiving this news and then I notice that when I got a chance to get myself together, I come to the board to share the information and people had said all these things, like why is she not answering the questions etc? Maybe because I have a job???? Why was she asking about this, you said you would get denied a lot, and then people wrote out a whole line about my relationship like they knew the reason why I were where returned. This was funny because they where wrong the only difference me and my fiancé had was that I am black and he is a white looking Arab and the language busy that someone mention. I am not sure how it was but we do both speak English and French but most communication in is French because I am studying it and I want to get better at it. I am currently going to school for French and Arab and my mother is from Louisiana and they speak Creole a dialect of French. (this must have bothered me because I am still talking about it.) If you see some of my writing you will see what I am saying and I asked someone about this and they assumed that I did not know anything. This was too much and I decided not to reply to people. And one more thing someone told me that I missed spelled some words, well I could not see straight my eyes were watery and I did not know I was being “graded” on my writing. I think what I am trying to say is that sometimes we all need to considerate and respect each other because if we where all in a room together I think some of us would have assault charges.

I am not trying to start anything, I just wanted to get something off of my chest and I do believe this board can be addictive. I have stayed away because the issues that I have are not being address here. However, the forum about bored was good and I enjoyed reading some of the suggestions that you guys gave. I am going to Morocco in about three weeks and if anyone needs a favor let me.

[Veiled Princess 1]

Am I the only one who finds it amusing that there is an 18 page thread to bicker about all the bickering that goes on here?

Edited November 1, 2006 by Veiled Princess

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

i don't believe anyone here makes the choice in a SO to please someone else, do they? it's to make themself happy and certainly not you.

Exactly Charles, so stop worrying about Sarah's comments as they have nothing to do with yours and Nessa's happiness.

i'll be sure to point out this post of yours to steven

[tmma 467]

Why is what Sarah said offensive to YOU and YOUR relationship?

She CLEARLY said that FOR HER it was gross or whatever......That's her choice and opinion.

Does she have to have the same ideals or requirements in a partner to conform here? Can she (or anyone) not have an opinion on their own preferences in a partner? But yet that's exactly what you say later in your post-she and everyone CAN! You said up there about " mom's choice" not hers, it works both ways. FOR her in HER LIFE she chooses not to like that.

I PERSONALLY say " go anyone" not just " go grandpa" or " go mom". If anyone can manage to find happiness with a person, and maintain a relationship who the heck cares what Sarah or anyone thinks???

She is allowed an opinion on what she wants FOR HER.

I am curious as to why you would be offended that she thinks something is gross? What affect does that have on you or your relationship? At the end of the day, really who gives a flying frog what anyone thinks of our relationships?

would you be so kind were someone to remark about something that might apply to your relationship? i think not

The thing is Charles-I DON'T care what others "think" of my relationship choices. Someone's commentry on what THEIR personal preference is in THEIR life carries NO weight whatsoever in MY life and relationship.

I am happy with what I have-so what if others think my preference is " not their personal preference"?

Edited November 1, 2006 by tmma

[morocco4ever 63]

Nope, and thats my opinion. Fun is for the young and beautiful only.

You forgot thin

You got me there! Anything else I missed?

rich?

Missed that one too! What would I do without everyones help here to develop my opinion?

[Fandango 1,439]

i don't believe anyone here makes the choice in a SO to please someone else, do they? it's to make themself happy and certainly not you.

Exactly Charles, so stop worrying about Sarah's comments as they have nothing to do with yours and Nessa's happiness.

i'll be sure to point out this post of yours to steven

What's that supposed to mean? I ask this because I'm curious, and it has no tone.

YOU said the bit I put in red, so if you truly believe that, there's no issue here what Sarah thinks.

[morocco4ever 63]

Am I the only one who finds it amusing that there is an 18 page thread to bicker about all the bickering that goes on here?

lol....not the only one....

There is plenty I have to say on this entire subject, but what would it accomplish to speak it? I have my opinions, you have yours, and they have theirs. I can't change their opinion, and I can't force anyone to think like me. I can just shrug my shoulders and chuckle at the strange ideas some people have.

[tmma 467]

That's a big ME TOO!! out to Lisa.