MENA BICKERING

[mybackpages 0]

I would never marry a man 20 years older than myself I think it's gross.

men in thier 40s can be quite sexy Sarah but 70? I would agree gross

Disclaimer: This is my opinion and not meant to insult men in their 70s LOL

[doodlebugfor_u 0]

As someone engaged to a younger man, I didn't see Sarah's comments directed at my relationship. I would have been the first to correct her if I thought she crossed the line. All she did was express her opinion as it would felt to her.

me thinnks thou doest protest too much

As someone married to a younger man, I saw Sarah's comments directed not only at my relationship, but at others here who deserve more respect than she was giving us. I did correct her because she crossed the line. All I did was express my opinion as it felt to me. Me thinks many of you older women, some of whom complained about her yesterday, are today afraid to stand up for yourselves out of fear of being flamed like I was for doing so. But, if that is how you want it, you got it because most people here think it's quite alright for people to make negative remarks about your relationships.

That is my opinion about that. I am entitled to it, as you are to yours.

As a woman married to a younger man, seeing all these comments don't really bother me anymore. At first they did, but as I continued to read the comments made by the younger crowd I learned that most of the ladies making the judemental comments really have not lived life much and are probably going to be eating all their words one day. Seems much of the younger crowed on this forum seem to have the answer for everything when in fact, they are just babes themselves and need to live a little more in order for me to respect anything they have to say.

For me it's weird. Why? Cause I am 23 and if I were to marry a younger man he would be 3 years old or so. Doesn't that make sense to anyone? I never judged anyone, I said it's gross FOR ME. I never pointed my finger at anyone or said so and so is gross! You can call me a baby, that's fine. I like being young. I would never marry a man 20 years older than myself I think it's gross.

Ok so you only respect old people? I hope you're not married to a younger man cause if you are you just insulted him as well. Good work!

I understand what you say and I agree with it. In fact, I told Sarah that her age was a factor in her thinking and that when she got older, she would probebly undersand, and I could let it go. What did I get for conceding that? People b!thching about how I didn't respect her opinions because of her age!

You conceded it by making a poll about it and arguing for about 3 more hours?

First of all, because you are ONLY 23 it would be retarded to really say you would marry someone much younger than you at this point in your life. Say in 20 years you have a life change and are not with your husband now. Would your views change? My husband is 5 years younger than me, is NOT in his 20's and has much more knowledge regarding life issues. Also, I don't see how anything I said insulted my husband in any way, shape or form. Oh wait, maybe if I was younger I would think that.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I would never marry a man 20 years older than myself I think it's gross.

men in thier 40s can be quite sexy Sarah but 70? I would agree gross

Disclaimer: This is my opinion and not meant to insult men in their 70s LOL

The disclaimer didn't work. You jerk why do you hate old people!!!!!!!!?????

[doodlebugfor_u 0]

Disclaimer: This is my opinion and not meant to insult men in their 70s LOL

[sarah and hicham 3]

First of all, because you are ONLY 23 it would be retarded to really say you would marry someone much younger than you at this point in your life. Say in 20 years you have a life change and are not with your husband now. Would your views change? My husband is 5 years younger than me, is NOT in his 20's and has much more knowledge regarding life issues. Also, I don't see how anything I said insulted my husband in any way, shape or form. Oh wait, maybe if I was younger I would think that.

Ok so when you were in your 20's you expected everyone to disrespect you and not take you seriously? That's a great way to treat the younger generation! Bravo!

[AngelK96 0]

Young poop and Old poop still stinks

dammit wouldn't let me type s h i t

Edited November 1, 2006 by angelk96

[mybackpages 0]

I would never marry a man 20 years older than myself I think it's gross.

men in thier 40s can be quite sexy Sarah but 70? I would agree gross

Disclaimer: This is my opinion and not meant to insult men in their 70s LOL

The disclaimer didn't work. You jerk why do you hate old people!!!!!!!!?????

Careful Sarah someone might report us for having a sense of humor with each other

and I don't hate old people just wrinkly rear ends

[Aymerlu 3]

Young poop and Old poop still stinks

dammit wouldn't let me type s h i t

Seriously, not meaning to offend anyone, but how can anyone in their 20's know how someone in their 30's or 40's+ view something, and how can someone in their 30's and 40's+ know how someone in their 20's views something??? I can always say the "been there did that," but I did that a few years back and not recently. I'm sure the "been there did that's" of today are quite different than what I did. Life changes, situations change along with our views. I know when I was younger my views were certainly different than how I view things now. I'm sure the way I view things now will be differnt in 10 year too. Does that make my current opinon wrong now? Nope. Am I talking in circles? I think so

[doodlebug 3]

I never judged anyone, I said it's gross FOR ME. I never pointed my finger at anyone or said so and so is gross! You can call me a baby, that's fine. I like being young. I would never marry a man 20 years older than myself I think it's gross

Actually you said this to szsz in the "more kids with second marriage?" thread:

Here's the facts: you are 20 years older than your husband. That;'s a fact... I have seen you explain this several times in the past few days, how age doesn't matter. I know the facts and I think it's gross.

Maybe you left out the "for me" part there and that's where some of the confusion of people thinking that you did indeed judge others came in?

As for what I said about you being 23 and because of that I brushed off the comment...it's pretty simple. Over the years, in my experience with dealing with friends/collegues/acquaintances, I have said things good/bad that have effected people in different ways. Through experience that normally does come with age, I have had negative and positive reactions from statements that I have made. From the negative reactions, I have learned the hard way that words can indeed hurt others, even if they weren't intentionally meant to be cutting. Because of this, normally I think before speaking (not everyday..I"m not perfect, but normally I do) and I contemplate, gee...would this statement ever be taken in a way in which it would offend others?

I know that some people may scoff at this because in some groups being "pc" is not a good thing, but I tend to think it is a good thing. I wouldn't want to be the cause of someone's pain from words that were not intended to inflict harm. I also think that many people tend to forget that there are living breathing people behind these keyboards. Some say, eh ... just flick the thing off and walk away. Well sure, if you can. Some are sensitive though and cannot and can you imagine the hurt of someone who might actually cry over something written that wasn't "pc"?

That's what I mean. In my experience, I know that when I was younger, I didn't think so much about how my words may effect others. The whole "sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me" is actually false. Words can cut deeper than people know.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I never judged anyone, I said it's gross FOR ME. I never pointed my finger at anyone or said so and so is gross! You can call me a baby, that's fine. I like being young. I would never marry a man 20 years older than myself I think it's gross

Actually you said this to szsz in the "more kids with second marriage?" thread:

Here's the facts: you are 20 years older than your husband. That;'s a fact... I have seen you explain this several times in the past few days, how age doesn't matter. I know the facts and I think it's gross.

Maybe you left out the "for me" part there and that's where some of the confusion of people thinking that you did indeed judge others came in?

As for what I said about you being 23 and because of that I brushed off the comment...it's pretty simple. Over the years, in my experience with dealing with friends/collegues/acquaintances, I have said things good/bad that have effected people in different ways. Through experience that normally does come with age, I have had negative and positive reactions from statements that I have made. From the negative reactions, I have learned the hard way that words can indeed hurt others, even if they weren't intentionally meant to be cutting. Because of this, normally I think before speaking (not everyday..I"m not perfect, but normally I do) and I contemplate, gee...would this statement ever be taken in a way in which it would offend others?

I know that some people may scoff at this because in some groups being "pc" is not a good thing, but I tend to think it is a good thing. I wouldn't want to be the cause of someone's pain from words that were not intended to inflict harm. I also think that many people tend to forget that there are living breathing people behind these keyboards. Some say, eh ... just flick the thing off and walk away. Well sure, if you can. Some are sensitive though and cannot and can you imagine the hurt of someone who might actually cry over something written that wasn't "pc"?

That's what I mean. In my experience, I know that when I was younger, I didn't think so much about how my words may effect others. The whole "sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me" is actually false. Words can cut deeper than people know.

I do think it's gross. I couldn't marry a man 20 years older than myself, for me it's gross. I know nothing about szsz other than a few things so I can't say that SHE AND HER HUSBAND ARE GROSS. It's hard for me to think of a young man marrying an older woman. IT is factual that she is 23 years older than her husband. I'm glad you have grown a lot since you were younger. I guess if everyone here wants to ignore anyone who is in their 20's they can just do so.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Thanks for that, doodlebug! Sarah has insulted older women/younger man couples a multitude of times. She's emboldened by those who support her views and believe she can say whatever she wants about them coz it's her "personal preference". Personal preference, the new euphemism for rude.

[doodlebug 3]

I guess if everyone here wants to ignore anyone who is in their 20's they can just do so.

Well that would be their perogative. I don't ignore anyone. I merely said that I take into consideration where the person is coming from in life before I get upset. I do think that people in their twenties have excellent contributions to various threads. Heck in a religious forum I learn more from some of the teenagers than the older folks just because they are innocent and still have a pure view of life.

Ok now I'm bowing out of this thread............................good luck to all and I hope that the fighting can stop because there are some really funny times that could be had and some wonderful info to be learned on here from ALL of the members in this forum.

Edited November 1, 2006 by doodlebug

[sarah and hicham 3]

Thanks for that, doodlebug! Sarah has insulted older women/younger man couples a multitude of times. She's emboldened by those who support her views and believe she can say whatever she wants about them coz it's her "personal preference". Personal preference, the new euphemism for rude.

Aww so cute. You made a friend. How? because she said something you liked to hear and it stroked your ego.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

QUOTE

Here's the facts: you are 20 years older than your husband. That;'s a fact... I have seen you explain this several times in the past few days, how age doesn't matter. I know the facts and I think it's gross.

Maybe you left out the "for me" part there and that's where some of the confusion of people thinking that you did indeed judge others came in?

Those are the facts, loud and clear, no FOR ME about it.

Wasn't the first time, nor the last.

[sara535 15]

I think Ewok hit the nail on the head when he said we all just need to be aware of what we are saying and think about it. Sarah, I am not picking on you but I am going to use you as an example, if thats ok. You live not too far from me, lets say one day Adnan and I drove over to visit with you guys for the day; hang out, maybe have lunch or dinner, let our husbands reminisce about Moroccan life, whatever. Well, I am 10 years older than him, do you think you would sit across a dinner table from us and say to our faces that you think our marriage is abnormal and gross? Sorry, but I just dont think you would. So whats wrong with applying that same standard to our online communications?

and the second problem here is the obsession among some people to have the last word. Hey I'm all for a spirited debate and honestly I have learned a lot here especially in the religious discussions, but no one HAS to be right.

I just feel that its embarassing for this forum to be the laughingstock of the rest of Visa Journey. I've said it before, when I first joined this forum 2 and a half years ago there was exactly ONE other person going through Morocco and I was SO grateful to find her and grill her for every bit of information I could get about what was in store for us. Over time I tried to pass what I learned on to others and so on. This can be an invaluable resource for people going through this process and we should keep that in mind all the time. Does everyone need to agree about everything all the time? of course not and we dont need it to be that way, but surely there is a better way to handle it than this??