Are you bored...

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

If he can't pick up his own stuff, I'm throwin him back!

[Veiled Princess 1]

If he can't pick up his own stuff, I'm throwin him back!

Please retain all receipts should the need to return or exchange an item present itself

[amal 4]

ahhhh the boredom of internet marriage... I remember that so well.. We played many a game of pool and if i wanted to get a laugh out of him..we would play scrabble(literati in yahoo).. we would play chess..sometimes we would talk for 3 days or so and not say a word coz we were consumed in a game... GAMES WERE OUR LIFE SAVER!!! We also sent each other a crapload of music...That's where i got most of my arabian collection which exceeds 500 i'm sure. He owned his own internet shop so I was lucky there..on my off days we would spend 10 hours sometimes...sometimes less and sometimes more... I would watch tv with him.. He would see my son come home from school..he'd see me cooking supper/breakfast (as my pc is in the kitchen/dining room) ...It was like he was here ..only we couldn't touch. Yes that was the hardest part to deal with . Most of the boredom came from frustrations and I learned that soon those feelings would pass.... I always tried to see it as... 1 year without him vs the rest of our lives together....I can handle some boredom issues and frustration issues... hard? yes . fun? no . worth it? ABSO~FREAKIN~LUTELY!!!!

just relax ~breathe in the nose and out the mouth~ Take a few days to urself.. away from the pc... give yourself time to miss your conversations.... AND MOST IMPORTANTLY....don't forget that we are here for you and completely understand your frustrations.

amal

I hope that ramble of mine made sense......

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Some of us are in a good mood . . .

[doodlebug 3]

We take time off every so often. I WISH he'd play games with me but he doesn't see it as an effective use of our time. That being said, there are times when we just sit there and stare at each other, so that's not too effective either!

When we take time off....like yesterday we didn't talk, it makes me crave him even more so I'm very much looking forward to tonight!!! Plus it gives us something more to talk about. I do feel that the conversations when my kids are away go a lot better than those when they're here 'cause they tend to get jealous and try to get my attention sometimes when we're talking. Mostly it's my oldest who just LOVES seeing herself pose on the webcam. A diva in the making....

[honeyblonde 0]

We didn't have nearly as long of a separation as most of you, so I can't say I had a terribly long time to get bored, but Amal mentioned many of the things we did.

I put a computer in the kitchen right after we met so I could prepare meals and do dishes and stuff while he watched. That's his computer now but it's on the desk right by mine so we can sit together when we use them.

We often listened to music and introduced each other to new artists. The one familiar with the artist would send the other links to websites about the artist. We also discussed writers and would often look at the same website at the same time.

Sometimes Abdel would seem distracted and I'd ask him why so he would turn the webcam so I could watch something he was watching on the screen. Most of the time it was traditional Moroccan music groups. Now that he's here he's still watching the same thing quite a bit.

I think it was a little easier for us since I was (and seemingly will be forever!) in school so we could talk about what I was learning in my classes. I am incredibly thankful to have found a man who wants to understand economics because frankly, it can be very boring.

if you are bored now, remember, if you marry this person, you will be spending the rest of your life with him. My first marriage lasted 9 1/2 years, and I can tell you (and I'm sure many here can too) that a long term marriage can get very boring. Learning how to find something to talk about and share interests is very important if any marriage is to last. Instead of focusing on the boredom, try to find new things to learn together. It can give you something in common that can enhance the time you are together once he's here, and help you start your own new memories and you have the whole internet at your disposal whenever you're talking online.

Oh yeah, we also shared jokes. The picture ones are usually self-explanatory or require very little explanation and you can easily share those on yahoo messenger the way it was the last time I used it - with the photo share option. Abdel and his brother Rachid and I spent several hours one night reviewing my file together and we all enjoyed laughing until we cried.

[ya falaha! 0]

Before we got married I was able to take a day or two off but now if I don't call him every night he panics. If I don't call by 9pm my time I get a phone call asking what happened to me. If I tell him I want to take a breather he asks a million questions why. Last night he could tell I wasn't feeling the conversation and he was kinda quiet and seemed sad. I just need a break! I'm online all day during the week at work. We use MSN as interoffice communication so I'm on all day. I have to confess that I've blocked him a couple times. Sometimes we get so bored that we start arguments about the stupidest #######. I suppose that's our way to spice things up. I can't deal with that while I'm at work. So I'll block him on my crabby days. We used to play games or send each other music. But now that we only chat while I'm at work we can't do that anymore. We have our steamy conversations to add spice but even those are getting routine and dull.

Thank you everyone for your advice and kind words. It's so nice to know I'm not alone in this. Thanks for putting up with my ramblings I love you guys!

[Together4ever 1]

Long distance relationships are hard. We face different obstacles and insecurities. As a couple, we've just had to learn to be open and forthcoming with each other about our needs, moods and feelings. Be forgiving of your own feelings and his too. It can be a real roller coaster ride. Hang in there, it'll pass.

[doodlebug 3]

Oh I don't think I could handle being online with him all freakin' day long. lol. At first it would be cool since now we only get about an hour or two a night but I can definitely see how that would get boring! I mean what is there to talk about when you're together every minute!

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

It was sometimes so difficult for Mahmoud and I to talk on the net. Not really due to boredom, but because of various problems with the internet in the West Bank. Almost every day it would slow down or lock up. Often we would be typing to each other but nothing would come through for 15 minutes or more. Then 10 or 20 sentences would all come together, usually ending with "Are you there ?????? Where are you ???? OK I think the net is slow." Some of this was due to the internet cafes there running too many computers on an already slow connection.

Also, there were the usual military closures, curfews and emergencies to deal with. Sometimes the electricity would be out for days. The IDF would sometimes bomb buildings where the main servers were located, which would knock most of the West Bank offline for weeks.

Our phone connections were usually more reliable, especially his cell phone (many people there use Israeli cell companies which usually do not suffer the same occupation-related service interruptions that Jawwal and other Palestinian companies often experience.) A couple of times, I couldn't get connections for a day or two, but usually the service would be restored quickly. And my husband always recharged several batteries whenever the electricity was on, to keep cell contact open even during a power outage.

We also did a lot of Yahoo pool , sending funny pics, etc. when we could. And even if we ran out of "happy talk," we just tried to be thankful that we could keep in touch one way or another -- just to know that he was safe meant everything to me.

Hang in there, everyone. I know that being far from the one you love for so long is no easy walk in the park.... but when things get really tough or you're feeling down, just remember to count your blessings. Soon insha'allah you will all be reunited, and all this hardship will fade into a distant memory.

-MK

[ya falaha! 0]

When he was working in Sallum he would usually be online waiting for me then he stay online pretty much all day while I was working. It was nice for awhile there. Now he'll get online about 2 or 3pm my time and stay about an hour or so. It's not bad but when we're having a crabby day we can get really snippy with each other. I end up getting all upset and can't focus on my work. It's also really easy to misunderstand each other online when I can't hear the tone of his voice. He may be joking but I'll take it serious then get upset.

Oh I don't think I could handle being online with him all freakin' day long. lol. At first it would be cool since now we only get about an hour or two a night but I can definitely see how that would get boring! I mean what is there to talk about when you're together every minute!

Edited October 31, 2006 by moody

[morocco4ever 63]

I just realized yesterday that I'm just really bored of the way we have to have a "marriage". We were chatting on MSN yesterday and I found I had really nothing to say. Most of the conversation was him asking me..are you there? And me saying, yes. Then we talked on phone at night as usual and again I had nothing to talk about. He said, we can talk about our feelings for each other. This may sound bad but...yay fun, let's TALK about our feelings...AGAIN. I told him I'd rather show him how I feel than talk about it. I'm just getting really bored and frustrated with talking about feelings. Usually I can't wait to get home to talk to him at night but lately I just haven't been feeling it. I'm all talked out.

There comes a time in all marriages, be it via internet, or face to face, that you run out of things to say. This isn't saying that you never communicate, but rather the majority of the first year or 2 is getting to know each other. Well now you know each other, and its time to move on to a different phase. There is silence between all couples at one point or another, its normal.

The problem isn't that you have run out of things to say, its more that you can't move to the next stage of your relationship together. This is the real problem.

My husband and I have known each other for 3 years now, married for 2. We are online together for hours, literally hours each day. We don't spend each of those hours talking. We come and go as we please, watch tv, eat, play ps2, etc, all while the webcams and headsets are on. It doesn't mean we have stopped talking, we haven't, we have had to adjust to the second phase of our marriage through the internet. This would be the scenario if he was here as well, very normal. Its just that we don't have the physical aspect, which we both miss greatly.

Hang in there, and don't view this stage as bad, just different. You will get past it and soon he will be with you. Hugs to ya.

[Henia 11]

Am I the only one who is getting REALLY bored of conducting her marriage over the phone/net? It's seems I don't even have anything interesting to talk about anymore. Anyone else have this problem?

Yes I did feel like this Moody before I came to Algerie... and the more time passed the more I got pissed and wnated to just be together or just end it..I am sure I will feel the same way when I get back to the states... Again all the phone cards, online meetings, emails, and web cams. Uff....that sucks

[sabaidee 0]

hen we talked on phone at night as usual and again I had nothing to talk about. He said, we can talk about our feelings for each other. This may sound bad but...yay fun, let's TALK about our feelings...AGAIN.

...

Sometimes we get so bored that we start arguments about the stupidest #######.

... We have our steamy conversations to add spice but even those are getting routine and dull.

Nice to find this this thread. I've been feeling the same way and, in fact, just had an argument with my fiancee on the phone last night about communicating. We talk on the phone every morning and every night and I don't know... maybe that's too much. There's only so much you can talk about.

On one hand, I really want to make use of this time and communicate as much as possible so we can grow closer and learn about each other more. But on the other hand, like you said "yay fun, let's TALK about our feelings...AGAIN". I'd hate to add up how many times we've said certain phrases ("love you", "miss you", etc. etc.) across all of our conversations. It's probably a pathetically large number. We might as well just listen to a taped copy of an earlier conversation sometimes. :-)

It's especially difficult if English isn't your SO's primary language. We both know each other's languages fairly well but not at 100% so that makes phone conversation a bit more limited and misunderstandings easier. I got fairly snippy with her last night and then ended up feeling really guilty about it.

I haven't waited near as long as many of the old-timers here and I feel like it's already driving me crazy. I honestly don't know how people survive a year or more like this.

I don't know what to do. If we don't talk then we miss each other but sometimes when we talk, that just makes the longing and frustration even worse.

I guess I'm rambling...

:sabaidee:

[honeyblonde 0]

let's TALK about our feelings...AGAIN".

I think that if Abdel and I had only talked about our feelings we would have gone crazy and we had a very short wait. Love has to be so much more than just feelings. When you look at all there is to explore about each other - life experiences, dreams, goals, interests, loves and hates, etc..., you have so much more to talk about, and you truly start to know the other person.

Just my 2 cents.