Don't Hide Things from your Fiancée'

[elyhim 41]

I banned his mother and his sister from setting foot in our home again. They're under a 5-year ban right now.

LOL yeah sometimes family is not all it's cracked up to be. Some people have serious issues. My Fiancee has talked about meeting my Mother but she is currently under MY ban. I may make an exception but I have told her all about the family issues and why I don't have a good relationship with them. It's important to be open and honest and we're ALL adults here, Susan and I are over 40, there's history for sure, we know what didn't work and we know what expectations we have. We're honest about everything.

That's what works for me, it's a free country do what you want with your time and efforts.

[Hank_ 9,174]

As the saying goes...

You can pick your nose, you can pick your butt (can you say butt on here?), but you can't pick your family...

And then there is the other saying... friends are the family you choose.

[rlogan 2,036]

Well, it's possible that madtownguy's guy fiancee about his previous sexcapades, then she definitely doesn't need to know! Some things should be kept hidden! There is such a thing as too much information. Unless, there's a possibility of him having sexually transmitted disease. Then, she needs to know!

Sometimes, the spouse is not hiding something but there's a subjective answer to a certain question. For example, when I asked my husband(fiance) then what is his family like he told me that they're nice people. Well, after being married for 7 years, I couldn't take it anymore. I banned his mother and his sister from setting foot in our home again. They're under a 5-year ban right now.

He said he was concealing his criminal record and bankruptcy. Also, things which a fiance specifically asks about.

None of these are things that should be concealed. Maybe you would like to start evaluating what he SAID he conceals as opposed to speculating?

[actob99 156]

As the saying goes...

You can pick your nose, you can pick your butt (can you say butt on here?), but you can't pick your family...

And then there is the other saying... friends are the family

you choose.

Absolutely correct there......

I'm lucky that my wife loves both my parents already and they are divorced. BUTT, when she said she wants to try and be my ex's friend, I had to tell her that's the fastest way back to the PI!!!

[madtownguy 164]

Well, it's possible that madtownguy's guy fiancee about his previous sexcapades, then she definitely doesn't need to know! Some things should be kept hidden! There is such a thing as too much information. Unless, there's a possibility of him having sexually transmitted disease. Then, she needs to know!

Sometimes, the spouse is not hiding something but there's a subjective answer to a certain question. For example, when I asked my husband(fiance) then what is his family like he told me that they're nice people. Well, after being married for 7 years, I couldn't take it anymore. I banned his mother and his sister from setting foot in our home again. They're under a 5-year ban right now.

Ha see and this is coming from a female!!! If a girl asks me how many girls I've slept with, which is rare but sometimes asked I certainly will not answer that, not that I can. I agree with the STDs, I'd be pissed if a girl didn't tell me that. Telling your significant other everything is not possible for most men. Now generational gap may have a roll in that. Certainly if you're 40 or older it may be less of a norm because of cultural changes. Or if you live in the middle of no where like Alaska. But I've dated plenty of pinay, thai, russian, mexican and others that marry older guys get divorced and then just want to have fun. If their husband knew how to have fun the divorce wouldn't be needed, I'm the best of both worlds...ha ha Age doesn't always mean that though, my business partner is 52 and he dates 5 times as many girls as me but my standards don't range as much as his.

BTW again I DO NOT HAVE A CRIMINAL RECORD. I never said that! I am very very careful with the law as I have a concealed carry, and class 3 weapons permit. I would have many problems if I got in trouble in the US. I did file bankruptcy awhile ago but make over six figures now so I highly doubt anyone having much concern there.

[madtownguy 164]

He said he was concealing his criminal record and bankruptcy. Also, things which a fiance specifically asks about.

None of these are things that should be concealed. Maybe you would like to start evaluating what he SAID he conceals as opposed to speculating?

Unfortunately Ca_babe hit the nail on the head. I tried to say it with out saying it, thought it was obvious what I meant when you need to conceal some things. I don't have a criminal record btw, I have more guns than a small army... ha ha. I would never tell a girl who is better in bed, what I did at a strip club, how many girls I've been with, if her sister is prettier than her... I could list about 100 things right now but I won't. If you don't have these "problems" than congrats. I tell the truth on things that matter, but some things should not be said. The original point was that trust should be there so nothing suprises someone to a certain degree obviously. Getting mad over a felony record and not knowing what it was for, with a stranger at an interview is pretty immature and worthless.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Absolutely correct there......

I'm lucky that my wife loves both my parents already and they are divorced. BUTT, when she said she wants to try and be my ex's friend, I had to tell her that's the fastest way back to the PI!!!

For sure that is the line that is not crossed!

[Hank_ 9,174]

Unfortunately Ca_babe hit the nail on the head. I tried to say it with out saying it, thought it was obvious what I meant when you need to conceal some things. I don't have a criminal record btw, I have more guns than a small army... ha ha. :thumbs: I would never tell a girl who is better in bed, what I did at a strip club, how many girls I've been with, if her sister is prettier than her... I could list about 100 things right now but I won't. If you don't have these "problems" than congrats. I tell the truth on things that matter, but some things should not be said. The original point was that trust should be there so nothing suprises someone to a certain degree obviously. Getting mad over a felony record and not knowing what it was for, with a stranger at an interview is pretty immature and worthless.

Ya need to move to AZ....

Me and my Bride are going out shooting this weekend, she is very anxious to ventilate some targets!

[rlogan 2,036]

Unfortunately Ca_babe hit the nail on the head. I tried to say it with out saying it, thought it was obvious what I meant when you need to conceal some things. I don't have a criminal record btw, I have more guns than a small army... ha ha. I would never tell a girl who is better in bed, what I did at a strip club, how many girls I've been with, if her sister is prettier than her... I could list about 100 things right now but I won't. If you don't have these "problems" than congrats. I tell the truth on things that matter, but some things should not be said. The original point was that trust should be there so nothing suprises someone to a certain degree obviously. Getting mad over a felony record and not knowing what it was for, with a stranger at an interview is pretty immature and worthless.

Thank you so much for that blame-the-victim mentality, and the relentless attacks on people's self-esteem as a primary manipulative tactic. Good stuff for fiances to beware of.

With all the bragging insinuation about being such a sexual beast to perfect strangers on the internet but claiming you would never tell your fiance, one wonders whether this visajourney account is concealed from her. Likewise informing all of us about your bankruptcy but saying she shouldn't know... it can't be both.

A lot of red flags here. Manipulative people are the foremost experts in explaining away red flags. It is called "plausible deniability". They prey on people's innate trust in others. Notice how that is the fundamental urging from our poster here: trust me, despite the red flags.

This is an important insight for all of us into why these Filipinas cry at the Embassy interview. Because it isn't that they just found out about a felony or bankruptcy or whatever. It is that all the red flags they saw but allowed their fiance to explain away suddenly come rushing to the front of her mind and she is overwhelmed. Deleted cell phone messages, blocked or concealed internet personas, the computer screen minimized when she approaches, the "you don't want to know" answers, etc: suddenly she realizes that she doesn't know this person.

[madtownguy 164]

Ya need to move to AZ....

Me and my Bride are going out shooting this weekend, she is very anxious to ventilate some targets!

Nice Hank... Florida is a pretty friendly gun state, I manufacture guns also so I'd say it is a little cheaper for me but with the cost of ammo it's still very expensive. I'm from up north and there people go hunting with a rifle to shoot a big @ss deer... down here people use assault rifles to shoot something not much bigger than a dog. I'm a target guy myself though I could never gut an animal.

[Tintin and Mike 127]

Absolutely correct there......

I'm lucky that my wife loves both my parents already and they are divorced. BUTT, when she said she wants to try and be my ex's friend, I had to tell her that's the fastest way back to the PI!!!

:rofl:

What's with men not wanting us women be friends with our exes and their exes? LOL

[TnJ 131]

:rofl:

What's with men not wanting us women be friends with our exes and their exes? LOL

I think it has to do with them being "exes"(crossed out). I can't speak for all men, but my exes are exes for a reason. The reason being they are no longer a part of my life, and I intend to keep it that way.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I think it has to do with them being "exes"(crossed out). I can't speak for all men, but my exes are exes for a reason. The reason being they are no longer a part of my life, and I intend to keep it that way.

I couldn't agree more.

I'm lucky that my Fiancee has a healthy disregard already for my Ex due to the fact that the Ex is a child owning manipulator.

[Tintin and Mike 127]

I think it has to do with them being "exes"(crossed out). I can't speak for all men, but my exes are exes for a reason. The reason being they are no longer a part of my life, and I intend to keep it that way.

Hahaha exactly what he said

I couldn't agree more.

I'm lucky that my Fiancee has a healthy disregard already for my Ex due to the fact that the Ex is a child owning manipulator.

:thumbs:

[madtownguy 164]

Thank you so much for that blame-the-victim mentality, and the relentless attacks on people's self-esteem as a primary manipulative tactic. Good stuff for fiances to beware of.

With all the bragging insinuation about being such a sexual beast to perfect strangers on the internet but claiming you would never tell your fiance, one wonders whether this visajourney account is concealed from her. Likewise informing all of us about your bankruptcy but saying she shouldn't know... it can't be both.

A lot of red flags here. Manipulative people are the foremost experts in explaining away red flags. It is called "plausible deniability". They prey on people's innate trust in others. Notice how that is the fundamental urging from our poster here: trust me, despite the red flags.

This is an important insight for all of us into why these Filipinas cry at the Embassy interview. Because it isn't that they just found out about a felony or bankruptcy or whatever. It is that all the red flags they saw but allowed their fiance to explain away suddenly come rushing to the front of her mind and she is overwhelmed. Deleted cell phone messages, blocked or concealed internet personas, the computer screen minimized when she approaches, the "you don't want to know" answers, etc: suddenly she realizes that she doesn't know this person.

You are pulling a lot out of thin air here... maybe from first hand experience? You totally got me wrong because I'm opposite from what you're trying to paint me as. My facebook is open to public, I don't have a lock on my phone... I know what you're describing though it's a bit pathetic, I have dated girls like that. You're talking about hiding the present vs. a past that shouldn't matter. I kind of feel like you're reading what you want to hear, not what I actually wrote. I never said she shouldn't know about my bankruptcy. I actually told her and like I thought she had no idea what it was. I don't really care what she knows, the point I originally tried to make that got lost is she could find out something that concerns her that means nothing to me, so better to have trust in a relationship. Maybe trust isn't the best word, maybe a sane relationship. There are so many things that someone might be alarmed by, that others think is everyday. Maybe someone would freak at an interview just over hearing their fiance owns a gun, which is very normal in the US. I've dated girls like that and I just got rid of them not the girls the guns... probably should have got rid of the girls though much better financial decision. But you can warn pinay about me, it would be fair I warn them about guys like you. ha ha! I'd tell you why but don't want to put any ideas in pinay that use this site. You do have one thing right, my fiance does not use this site. Not because I don't want her to, but because she doesn't want to come to the US. I might have tried a little too hard to make sure I found a girl with out US eyes and she could care less about the visa. She wants me to move there so she doesn't have to leave her family, which would mean I leave mine and like her my family is important to me. So I don't hide this site from her but I know she doesn't care about it. I wish she did, I wish she was like some of the girls I see on here all excited about coming to the US. Damn I get all sentimental when I've been drinking...ha ha. So when you hit the mark I will let you know. But so far people seem to be poor readers, or misunderstand sarcasm, I certainly can't be to blame for stupidity on the internet... it runs rampant. I'm a very firm believer in that you need to date a minimum of 100 girls to even know if a girl is for you let alone make a relationship work. Before that you are throwing darts blind. I thought my first girlfriend was the one, thank god I didn't make that mistake. I could just as easily paint you as the guy who hides a girl in a small community like a prison to keep her un americanized so she won't leave you when she realizes you aren't an alpha male. To me that is sad. I have already prepped mine that she will change a ton when she gets here. I'll be just fine though if things don't work out for me, can you honestly say the same? Good luck!