Don't Hide Things from your Fiancée'

[Removed-02242014 19]

It's a lot more grave than getting through an interview. It is the cruelty of pretending to be someone you are not and forcing them to deal with discovering they are married to a con-man.

SO SO SO SO right you are !!

[Removed-02242014 19]

I thought you couldn't do a visa with a criminal record... You can't possibly tell your fiance everything, I think it's better to just have them prepared so if they hear something they don't over react... then you're covered! I don't think my fiance knows what I do really, it's not important and she will never understand it just like any other girl I've dated. I think the correct response if someone says did you know your fiance.... is to say no we didn't talk about that but I'm sure he or she will bring it up when it makes sense. You should trust the other person, not telling someone something is not lying. It's a good prep for interview this post, who knows what the heck they could have in government files or what they feel is note worthy.

I completely disagree with you ... what if the shoe was on the other foot? I think you would demand the same from HER.

[Removed-02242014 19]

Mark-n-Luz, thank you so much for this post. I was already quite aware of some things that needed disclosure concerning my history, and I am more open and honest with my fiancee than I am with anyone! However, your post prompted me to check something I hadn't even thought about. That is if I owed any taxes. I was late paying my state taxes one year. I thought I had payed the balance due. However, state revenue services don't seem to work as fast as IRS in delivering delinquent information. After reading your post, I created an online tax payer account and discovered that I still owed the state! I immediately sent in a request for payment and printed the records. Thanks a bunch for making me think of something I thought I had already covered!

How Ironic -- I did the same thing for Luzi because I had not filed 2011 (the paperwork says your LAST tax return filed) Seems I was wrong and the Pinay scores one big one. They specifically asked for 2011 tax returns because I own my own business and could not give her a W2... Good job!

[Removed-02242014 19]

Now if you could forecast the correct jetting for the carbs on my bike!

You have a bike with carbs ... why didn't you tell me BEFORE the interview ??

How 70's ... I am leaving you for good

The next guy will at least have a fuel injection moto!!

[madtownguy 164]

I completely disagree with you ... what if the shoe was on the other foot? I think you would demand the same from HER.

Nope totally wrong, I would never demand anything from any girlfriend, fiance or wife. If I want to know something I ask, if I don't want to know I don't ask. I've had girls start to tell me things about their past that I didn't want to know and stop them if it's something I don't see as beneficial for the relationship to hear. There's some things that can not be unheard. I don't lie about the past I just tell ex's or my fiance the truth to questions they ask. On occassion I have said you don't want to know and they get the point. To each their own.

[DaRoq 36]

Not to hijack this thread, but it might be more useful if we steer it in a practical direction. If anyone has specific examples of things they think are important for their fiancee to know and would affect the interview outcome if she doesn't, please list them here.

Thanks

Edited November 1, 2012 by DaRoq

[actob99 156]

Not to hijack this thread, but it might be more useful if we steer it in a practical direction. If anyone has specific examples of things they think are important for their fiancee to know and would affect the interview outcome if she doesn't, please list them here.

Thanks

Wow Roq, you have come along way. I would suggest alot of face time and all is good.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

One post has been removed for violating the Terms of Service. You can disagree with what someone has to say but you do not have the right to insult and make personal attacks on other Visa Journey members.

[Artisan 138]

Not to hijack this thread, but it might be more useful if we steer it in a practical direction. If anyone has specific examples of things they think are important for their fiancee to know and would affect the interview outcome if she doesn't, please list them here.

Thanks

Each and every divorce will be questioned and your fiance will be expected to know a bit about the people (ex and children) involved. Your criminal history (if any) will come to light. Outstanding loans and mortgages, especially if they are jointly held, have been known to come up during the interview process. All of your real estate holdings could be asked about if the consul feels that perhaps something is being hidden. The Embassy will question the young woman about how many children you actually have as well as their ages. Any and all of these items would likely red flag an applicant and result in the very least an administrative review if your fiance was hesitant or unable to answer questions concerning them or, like the person in the OP, reacted with shock when a fact was revealed.

One of the purposes of the interview is to crack your spouse or fiance under pressure to determine if there really is a true relationship. The CFO will also do their absolute best to scare the living daylights out of a pinay. If that means telling every horror story that has ever happened to a young woman that left the country for a foreign man the CFO will do it with full color motion pictures. The CFO scores a win in their column if a pinay stays home instead of leaving the Philippines.

Edited November 1, 2012 by Artisan

[TnJ 131]

In the example from the OP, the poor Sap that owed $45, did his Fiancee got denied because she didn't know about the tax debt or was it because you can't file if he owed back taxes?

I'm trying to decide if it's a moral issue (VJers seems to always want to jump on the morality bandwagon) or a USCIS/DOS policy issue.

As far as I know, one only needs to be up to date in filing taxes. Any owed amount would have no effect on approvals or not. If the beneficiary withdrew, maybe she was probably just upset that her fiance withheld information from her that she and/or the CO believed to be important? A trust issue perhaps.

[Hank_ 9,174]

You have a bike with carbs ... why didn't you tell me BEFORE the interview ??

How 70's ... I am leaving you for good

The next guy will at least have a fuel injection moto!!

And they still are making this bike with carbs in 2012! Serious.

[Hank_ 9,174]

Thing with a criminal record is that USCIS already knows from doing their background check of the petitioner. That information in put in the file and forwarded with the packet to the embassy... so the CO will know about and may very well check to see how well the fiance and fiancee know each other ... as that is evidence of a real relationship. Thinking that its good not to tell a person you have a criminal record....

[Hank_ 9,174]

Not to hijack this thread, but it might be more useful if we steer it in a practical direction. If anyone has specific examples of things they think are important for their fiancee to know and would affect the interview outcome if she doesn't, please list them here.

Thanks

Things to share with your fiancee? Hmm?

EVERYTHING.

Examples? Its different for each person, just be open and honest. Pretend you have been married for years, what would your "wife" know about you.... there you are.

[rlogan 2,036]

I don't lie about the past I just tell ex's or my fiance the truth to questions they ask. On occassion I have said you don't want to know and they get the point.

DaRoq - this is an outstanding red flag signalling something you DEFINITELY need to know.

The fiance asks him. Obviously, she wants to know. He contradicts her, telling her she does not want to know. Observe how the assertion of telling the truth is followed by not telling the truth in the very next sentence. The truth is she wants to know, and he simply says that is not the truth.

Look how we're supposed to "get the point" without actually hearing what the point is. Just imagine saying this to the Embassy official: "I asked, but he told me I didn't want to know." Even better: why not give the same answer to the Embassy official! You don't want to know. It's going to be automatic rejection.

It sounds so crazy to even have to say it, but you need to know all the answers to your own questions, and not take this kind of manipulative run-around as an answer. We see numerous times in this thread where we will be insulted about not "living in the real world" and being "immature" - just imagine telling THAT to an Embassy official!

If you are getting the manipulative run-around like this from your fiance then it is a pretty good bet that you are in for trouble not just at the interview but most especially when you arrive here. They've got you in a real bind then, and that is the whole point of concealing things from you - to get you hooked in so deep that by the time you find out it is too late.

[ca_babe 129]

DaRoq - this is an outstanding red flag signalling something you DEFINITELY need to know.

The fiance asks him. Obviously, she wants to know. He contradicts her, telling her she does not want to know. Observe how the assertion of telling the truth is followed by not telling the truth in the very next sentence. The truth is she wants to know, and he simply says that is not the truth.

Look how we're supposed to "get the point" without actually hearing what the point is. Just imagine saying this to the Embassy official: "I asked, but he told me I didn't want to know." Even better: why not give the same answer to the Embassy official! You don't want to know. It's going to be automatic rejection.

It sounds so crazy to even have to say it, but you need to know all the answers to your own questions, and not take this kind of manipulative run-around as an answer. We see numerous times in this thread where we will be insulted about not "living in the real world" and being "immature" - just imagine telling THAT to an Embassy official!

If you are getting the manipulative run-around like this from your fiance then it is a pretty good bet that you are in for trouble not just at the interview but most especially when you arrive here. They've got you in a real bind then, and that is the whole point of concealing things from you - to get you hooked in so deep that by the time you find out it is too late.

Well, it's possible that madtownguy's guy fiancee about his previous sexcapades, then she definitely doesn't need to know! Some things should be kept hidden! There is such a thing as too much information. Unless, there's a possibility of him having sexually transmitted disease. Then, she needs to know!

Sometimes, the spouse is not hiding something but there's a subjective answer to a certain question. For example, when I asked my husband(fiance) then what is his family like he told me that they're nice people. Well, after being married for 7 years, I couldn't take it anymore. I banned his mother and his sister from setting foot in our home again. They're under a 5-year ban right now.