dragging feet to come to the US

[VanessaTony 3,567]

One I liked most was demanding rkk1 sends him money so he can buy his family a car while she wanted to start building her own family. I feel truly sorry for her.

Oh yeah! that was part of the tax money thingy! I forgot about that. :S

[Moomin 292]

No he is not willing to bring money to afford our own place. He thinks that it is my responsibility to support him until he gets a job. I agree with that but I seriously can't afford an apartment. I can afford food and clothes for him.

Well I don't want to divorce him since I love him so much and can't live with out him.

So you'll basically have to be done with your education before he arrives. If you can afford food and clothes for him as of now, I don't understand how you cannot afford it for one person right now, - and you won't know for sure when he gets a job in the US which could take months. It seems too much of a puzzle for me how you'll make it work, and how you would've made it work had he submitted the papers and been in the US already. Is he planning on sending money home for his parents, and is that your responsibility until he gets a job? I'm just saying there are some aspects that are worth thinking about before jumping the gun.

Regarding the 150 dollars that he either cannot afford to send or that he won't support you with.. Ask him to send them to you so you can send the ipad. If he goes for that, he can afford to support you if he wanted or needed to. Priorities and perspective.

I'll butt out now because it seems to be a matter of what you build your relationship on rather than immigration advise. You might ask a mod to move your topic to the appropriate region though.

[Thatgirl2 21]

Through out the process I couldn't wait to come and live with my husband. However after the interview I just wanted to get it over with. I have a single mother living in Iran and I can't go back because of my husbands job, so the last couple of months I was really dragging my feet, it wasn't exciting anymore. The process of leaving my mother , physically, and flying to the states with an eight hour lay over was just something I wanted to get over with. I cried the whole way to Munich .

[rkk1 34]

So you'll basically have to be done with your education before he arrives. If you can afford food and clothes for him as of now, I don't understand how you cannot afford it for one person right now, - and you won't know for sure when he gets a job in the US which could take months. It seems too much of a puzzle for me how you'll make it work, and how you would've made it work had he submitted the papers and been in the US already. Is he planning on sending money home for his parents, and is that your responsibility until he gets a job? I'm just saying there are some aspects that are worth thinking about before jumping the gun.

Regarding the 150 dollars that he either cannot afford to send or that he won't support you with.. Ask him to send them to you so you can send the ipad. If he goes for that, he can afford to support you if he wanted or needed to. Priorities and perspective.

You are confusing me and another poster.

[rkk1 34]

You are confusing me and another poster.

But yes... I do like the idea of asking him for the $150 to mail the tablet. It does say something about priorities. He had money to buy a crappy tablet for himself previously, but doesn't have the money to send me any monthly support as my husband.

[rkk1 34]

OP - I keep reading your posts for a while and very honestly can't believe you haven't file for divorce long time ago. Sorry - that's how I see it. Find husband that truly cares about you - from your posts I can tell you're truly worth it.

Thank you for your kind words. That's really sweet.

Unlike others have said, my parents are not pushing me in this marriage. They have told me that they will support me if we go for a divorce. They are not encouraging me to divorce, but they have said that it would be okay if that is what I end up deciding. In fact, they were telling me that they are concerned about me, as I've lost some of my confidence since being with my husband. They think I've become clingy on him, and seem to have lost some of my own identity in this relationship. So they are worried and want me to come back to my own self again.

I used to be a lot more confident before. But I had a lot of personal struggles over the last several years. I used to be considered very attractive, had a really cute face, etc. But I gained a lot of weight after dealing with my issues over the last several years. My dating life in the 4 years before meeting my husband was TERRIBLE. I met abusive, uncaring, emotionally unavailable men. I kept finding guys who were 10 years older than me and felt entitled to a younger woman. I got so sick of getting online interests "Yo whatz up wimman?" from guys who were just looking to get laid, and posted the same message to 1,000 other women at once. The dating scene was utter torture to me. There was only 1 European man I met during those 4 years (before meeting my husband) who was everything I wanted... drop dead gorgeous with a sexy accent, brilliant and innovative, vegan, also a medical student, only 1 year older than me, and had an amazing sense of humor. We talked for the whole night the 2nd time we communicated. I would have married him in an instant as the connection between us was sizzling hot, but we were incompatible on the issue of kids, and thus could not proceed further. He also was not fully emotionally unavailable as he was just going through a divorce. He also had some hesitation due to my weight (though he was attracted to my face), and I had some hesitation due to his large number of prior sex partners. So we parted ways, sadly. But personality-wise, he was my dream guy...the kind of person I always fantasized about marrying.

Compared to all of those other guys, my husband was a gem. When I met him I was badly weary after about 4 miserable years on the dating scene. Yes, he was badly clingy in the beginning which put me off. But he made me feel safe, loved, beautiful, valued, etc. We were each other's first and only lovers (though we both had relationships in the past that didn't work out). Being each other's first was important to me, as I didn't want someone with a ton of prior partners. He is really handsome as well, and 3 years younger than me, and had a playful enthusiastic romantic side. He is also a lifelong vegetarian (now vegan), which is important to me in a partner and have a compatible spiritual lifestyle, which is really hard to find in another partner. Where will I find someone like this again? Yes, he has a lot of issues as well. He can be emotionally manipulative at times, when he wants something. He doesn't consider himself a provider for me (his wife) and puts his mom ahead of me. Now I've become the clingy one, and he often acts like he doesn't have enough time for me... which is sad. But he still does care, as he freaks out if we don't talk for a few days. He supports me in my diet (even does it along with me). I still feel some support with him and feel a lot better off with him than I did with all those past emotionally unavailable men. Although he's not the man I dreamed of being with (as I wanted someone with more conviction and integrity than my husband, more like that European fantasy guy from the past),... but when I think of divorcing my husband and going back to the past 4 awful years before him, I'd much rather be with him.

My family has encouraged me to finish my medical degree, lose the extra weight, regain my confidence... and they have told me that I won't have any problems meeting anyone as I'm a neat person and have a lot to give. But it's scary to think about giving up my handsome romantic 28 year old husband, in exchange for what? I'm 31 years old right now. Divorcing him puts me at a greater position of dating disadvantage than before when I was 'never married'. If it wasn't good when I was 29 and never married... I don't imagine my prospects improving being 3 years older and now divorced. I imagine getting dating interests from unemployed, substance abusing men 20 years my senior, who never finished high school, with 5 different kids from 3 different women. (If you fall into this category, please don't get angry at me or take it offensively. I was on internet dating sites for 4 years before meeting my husband and these were the guys who often expressed interest in me.) Sometimes I don't think my husband is my soulmate, and we aren't as intellectually compatible as I'd like... far from it. And I can't stand that he puts his family's needs ahead of mine. But he's so much better than so many guys out there. My inner voice often does tell me that there are huge red flags in my relationship... I feel like I deserve someone more intellectually stimulating, who wants to put me first and be a genuine husband and provider for me. But the dating scene seemed so bleak to me before, than I just don't want to go back there again. I'd rather fix what I have if possible. I feel like by the time I divorce him and find someone else relatively reasonable... it'll be 10 years later, I'll no longer be able to have kids, and he'll end up being just as flawed as my present husband and not half as attractive. I know this sounds totally negative and foolish (though I'm not otherwise a negative person as most would call me fun-loving and sweet and sincere). But these are my deep-seated fears, ridiculous as they may sound to some.

I'm working on myself. I have changed my diet. I go to an exercise bootcamp class. I spend more time looking attractive and dressing well. I am proud of my career and my accomplishments. But I still have some ways to go to get my confidence back again. I hope once I do this, the idea of dating again won't seem so demoralizing. Obviously I'm hoping my husband will change his ways and we can have a beautiful life together. But I realize this may not ever happen...

I realize this is not a relationship help site. But I know many of you have been puzzled by why I stay with my husband. This may explain it better.

Edited October 22, 2012 by rkk1

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

Thank you for your kind words. That's really sweet.

Unlike others have said, my parents are not pushing me in this marriage. They have told me that they will support me if we go for a divorce. They are not encouraging me to divorce, but they have said that it would be okay if that is what I end up deciding. In fact, they were telling me that they are concerned about me, as I've lost some of my confidence since being with my husband. They think I've become clingy on him, and seem to have lost some of my own identity in this relationship. So they are worried and want me to come back to my own self again.

I used to be a lot more confident before. But I had a lot of personal struggles over the last several years. I used to be considered very attractive, had a really cute face, etc. But I gained a lot of weight after dealing with my issues over the last several years. My dating life in the 4 years before meeting my husband was TERRIBLE. I met abusive, uncaring, emotionally unavailable men. I kept finding guys who were 10 years older than me and felt entitled to a younger woman. I got so sick of getting online interests "Yo whatz up wimman?" from guys who were just looking to get laid, and posted the same message to 1,000 other women at once. The dating scene was utter torture to me. There was only 1 European man I met during those 4 years (before meeting my husband) who was everything I wanted... drop dead gorgeous with a sexy accent, brilliant and innovative, vegan, also a medical student, only 1 year older than me, and had an amazing sense of humor. We talked for the whole night the 2nd time we communicated. I would have married him in an instant as the connection between us was sizzling hot, but we were incompatible on the issue of kids, and thus could not proceed further. He also was not fully emotionally unavailable as he was just going through a divorce. He also had some hesitation due to my weight (though he was attracted to my face), and I had some hesitation due to his large number of prior sex partners. So we parted ways, sadly. But personality-wise, he was my dream guy...the kind of person I always fantasized about marrying.

Compared to all of those other guys, my husband was a gem. When I met him I was badly wearing about 4 miserable years on the dating scene. Yes, he was badly clingy in the beginning which put me off. But he made me feel safe, loved, beautiful, valued, etc. We were each other's first and only lovers (though we both had relationships in the past that didn't work out). Being each other's first was important to me, as I didn't want someone with a ton of prior partners. He is really handsome as well, and 3 years younger than me, and had a playful enthusiastic romantic side. He is also a lifelong vegetarian (now vegan), which is important to me in a partner and have a compatible spiritual lifestyle, which is really hard to find in another partner. Where will I find someone like this again? Yes, he has a lot of issues as well. He can be emotionally manipulative at times, when he wants something. He doesn't consider himself a provider for me (his wife) and puts his mom ahead of me. Now I've become the clingy one, and he often acts like he doesn't have enough time for me... which is sad. But he still does care, as he freaks out if we don't talk for a few days. He supports me in my diet (even does it along with me). I still feel some support with him and feel a lot better off with him than I did with all those past emotionally unavailable men. Although he's not the man I dreamed of being with (as I wanted someone with more conviction and integrity than my husband, more like that European fantasy guy from the past),... but when I think of divorcing my husband and going back to the past 4 awful years before him, I'd much rather be with him.

My family has encouraged me to finish my medical degree, lose the extra weight, regain my confidence... and they have told me that I won't have any problems meeting anyone as I'm a neat person and have a lot to give. But it's scary to think about giving up my handsome romantic 28 year old husband, in exchange for what? I'm 31 years old right now. Divorcing him puts me at a greater positive of dating disadvantage than before when I was 'never married'. If it wasn't good when I was 29 and never married... I don't imagine my prospects improving being 3 years older and now divorced. I imagine getting dating interests from unemployed, substance abusing men 20 years my senior, who never finished high school, with 5 different kids from 3 different women. (If you fall into this category, please don't get angry at me or take it offensively. I was on internet dating sites for 4 years before meeting my husband and these were the guys who often expressed interest in me.) Sometimes I don't think my husband is my soulmate, and we aren't as intellectually compatible as I'd like... far from it. And I can't stand that he puts his family's needs ahead of mine. But he's so much better than so many guys out there. My inner voice often does tell me that there are huge red flags in my relationship... I feel like I deserve someone more intellectually stimulating, who wants to put me first and be a genuine husband and provider for me. But the dating scene seemed so bleak to me before, than I just don't want to go back there again. I'd rather fix what I have if possible. I feel like by the time I divorce him and find someone else relatively reasonable... it'll be 10 years later, I'll no longer be able to have kids, and he'll end up being just as flawed as my present husband and not half as attractive. I know this sounds totally negative and foolish (though I'm not otherwise a negative person as most would call me fun-loving and sweet and sincere). But these are my deep-seated fears, ridiculous as they may sound to some.

I'm working on myself. I have changed my diet. I go to an exercise bootcamp class. I spend more time looking attractive and dressing well. I am proud of my career and my accomplishments. But I still have some ways to go to get my confidence back again. I hope once I do this, the idea of dating again won't seem so demoralizing. Obviously I'm hoping my husband will change his ways and we can have a beautiful life together. But I realize this may not ever happen...

I realize this is not a relationship help site. But I know many of you have been puzzled by why I stay with my husband. This may explain it better.

Change is good for the right reason, but I have to agree with V&T. The situation you are in can't be fixed, because your husband won't allow it. Don't waste time trying to rationalize it, just do it. You sound like a wonderful woman, and the right man is out there for you, but you can't find each other until you get rid of this dead weight you are stuck in.

[bigdog 376]

It your heat and your decision, the facts seem to speak for themselves.

[taal 28]

This sounds similar to my story now....After my now husband got denied his fiance visa we got married this year... I have to tell him ahead of time to prepare his documents so we don't wait any longer.. He is the only son, however his dad resides here and his mom in India....That being said he prefers to put me on the back burner....Its gotten to the point, that I feel I'm constantly argueing with him or relaying it to his dad to get the ball going...Were married come on, be a big boy and send me all of your documents...He sent me most of the documents and I have been waiting a month for him to the rest he forgot....Still waiting...And am annoyed...

However, I suppose since I quit my job prior to going to India this year, for marriage. He feels its his responsibilty to support me. To the extent he can..He does send me money...However, I use it to pay off this process..Any fees, my plane ticket going back to India in a month....I mean its not a vacation when you go to a country that you never wanted to go to....

Good luck

[codygrace 14]

My goodness. You sound like a good person. I feel terrible that you feel like, "this is the best it gets for me." Don't be insecure about your figure. Be confident. You sound like a very smart person, who might have been stuck in a rut. I am glad you are working on making yourself happier, and you deserve the confidence to go with it. No matter what some others might say I admire your commitment to making your relationship work and I wish you all best.

[Bumbero 130]

It your heat and your decision, the facts seem to speak for themselves.

If this relationship was truly meant to be, it wouldn't be THIS difficult to get him to do what he needs for you to be together. You sound like you have a LOT going for you and your husband shouldn't be dragging you down. He should be supporting you and be a true partner. It sounds like you have a leech that is going to not only suck the life out of you BUT maybe use you for his 10 year GC. In the process, you are going to lose your identity and your money.

Dating sucks, but so does being miserable in a marriage that is TOTALLY one sided! BE SINGLE for a while and find yourself and what you truly like. Confident people attract confident people.

Just my very humble opinion.

Good luck in the big decisions you have to make very soon.

[Alex&Manny 16]

Thank you for your kind words. That's really sweet.

Unlike others have said, my parents are not pushing me in this marriage. They have told me that they will support me if we go for a divorce. They are not encouraging me to divorce, but they have said that it would be okay if that is what I end up deciding. In fact, they were telling me that they are concerned about me, as I've lost some of my confidence since being with my husband. They think I've become clingy on him, and seem to have lost some of my own identity in this relationship. So they are worried and want me to come back to my own self again.

I used to be a lot more confident before. But I had a lot of personal struggles over the last several years. I used to be considered very attractive, had a really cute face, etc. But I gained a lot of weight after dealing with my issues over the last several years. My dating life in the 4 years before meeting my husband was TERRIBLE. I met abusive, uncaring, emotionally unavailable men. I kept finding guys who were 10 years older than me and felt entitled to a younger woman. I got so sick of getting online interests "Yo whatz up wimman?" from guys who were just looking to get laid, and posted the same message to 1,000 other women at once. The dating scene was utter torture to me. There was only 1 European man I met during those 4 years (before meeting my husband) who was everything I wanted... drop dead gorgeous with a sexy accent, brilliant and innovative, vegan, also a medical student, only 1 year older than me, and had an amazing sense of humor. We talked for the whole night the 2nd time we communicated. I would have married him in an instant as the connection between us was sizzling hot, but we were incompatible on the issue of kids, and thus could not proceed further. He also was not fully emotionally unavailable as he was just going through a divorce. He also had some hesitation due to my weight (though he was attracted to my face), and I had some hesitation due to his large number of prior sex partners. So we parted ways, sadly. But personality-wise, he was my dream guy...the kind of person I always fantasized about marrying.

Compared to all of those other guys, my husband was a gem. When I met him I was badly weary after about 4 miserable years on the dating scene. Yes, he was badly clingy in the beginning which put me off. But he made me feel safe, loved, beautiful, valued, etc. We were each other's first and only lovers (though we both had relationships in the past that didn't work out). Being each other's first was important to me, as I didn't want someone with a ton of prior partners. He is really handsome as well, and 3 years younger than me, and had a playful enthusiastic romantic side. He is also a lifelong vegetarian (now vegan), which is important to me in a partner and have a compatible spiritual lifestyle, which is really hard to find in another partner. Where will I find someone like this again? Yes, he has a lot of issues as well. He can be emotionally manipulative at times, when he wants something. He doesn't consider himself a provider for me (his wife) and puts his mom ahead of me. Now I've become the clingy one, and he often acts like he doesn't have enough time for me... which is sad. But he still does care, as he freaks out if we don't talk for a few days. He supports me in my diet (even does it along with me). I still feel some support with him and feel a lot better off with him than I did with all those past emotionally unavailable men. Although he's not the man I dreamed of being with (as I wanted someone with more conviction and integrity than my husband, more like that European fantasy guy from the past),... but when I think of divorcing my husband and going back to the past 4 awful years before him, I'd much rather be with him.

My family has encouraged me to finish my medical degree, lose the extra weight, regain my confidence... and they have told me that I won't have any problems meeting anyone as I'm a neat person and have a lot to give. But it's scary to think about giving up my handsome romantic 28 year old husband, in exchange for what? I'm 31 years old right now. Divorcing him puts me at a greater position of dating disadvantage than before when I was 'never married'. If it wasn't good when I was 29 and never married... I don't imagine my prospects improving being 3 years older and now divorced. I imagine getting dating interests from unemployed, substance abusing men 20 years my senior, who never finished high school, with 5 different kids from 3 different women. (If you fall into this category, please don't get angry at me or take it offensively. I was on internet dating sites for 4 years before meeting my husband and these were the guys who often expressed interest in me.) Sometimes I don't think my husband is my soulmate, and we aren't as intellectually compatible as I'd like... far from it. And I can't stand that he puts his family's needs ahead of mine. But he's so much better than so many guys out there. My inner voice often does tell me that there are huge red flags in my relationship... I feel like I deserve someone more intellectually stimulating, who wants to put me first and be a genuine husband and provider for me. But the dating scene seemed so bleak to me before, than I just don't want to go back there again. I'd rather fix what I have if possible. I feel like by the time I divorce him and find someone else relatively reasonable... it'll be 10 years later, I'll no longer be able to have kids, and he'll end up being just as flawed as my present husband and not half as attractive. I know this sounds totally negative and foolish (though I'm not otherwise a negative person as most would call me fun-loving and sweet and sincere). But these are my deep-seated fears, ridiculous as they may sound to some.

I'm working on myself. I have changed my diet. I go to an exercise bootcamp class. I spend more time looking attractive and dressing well. I am proud of my career and my accomplishments. But I still have some ways to go to get my confidence back again. I hope once I do this, the idea of dating again won't seem so demoralizing. Obviously I'm hoping my husband will change his ways and we can have a beautiful life together. But I realize this may not ever happen...

I realize this is not a relationship help site. But I know many of you have been puzzled by why I stay with my husband. This may explain it better.

Call me crazy, but it sounds like you haven't left your marriage because you're scared of not finding someone that meets your high standards or someone who likes you because of your age and weight, and not so much because of the fact that you don't really love him?

I'm also going to butt out before I start giving advice that wasn't asked for - but you need some more confidence woman.

You sound like an amazing person that's married to a real sh*tty one.

Think about it.

XO

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Thank you for your kind words. That's really sweet.

Unlike others have said, my parents are not pushing me in this marriage. They have told me that they will support me if we go for a divorce. They are not encouraging me to divorce, but they have said that it would be okay if that is what I end up deciding. In fact, they were telling me that they are concerned about me, as I've lost some of my confidence since being with my husband. They think I've become clingy on him, and seem to have lost some of my own identity in this relationship. So they are worried and want me to come back to my own self again.

I used to be a lot more confident before. But I had a lot of personal struggles over the last several years. I used to be considered very attractive, had a really cute face, etc. But I gained a lot of weight after dealing with my issues over the last several years. My dating life in the 4 years before meeting my husband was TERRIBLE. I met abusive, uncaring, emotionally unavailable men. I kept finding guys who were 10 years older than me and felt entitled to a younger woman. I got so sick of getting online interests "Yo whatz up wimman?" from guys who were just looking to get laid, and posted the same message to 1,000 other women at once. The dating scene was utter torture to me. There was only 1 European man I met during those 4 years (before meeting my husband) who was everything I wanted... drop dead gorgeous with a sexy accent, brilliant and innovative, vegan, also a medical student, only 1 year older than me, and had an amazing sense of humor. We talked for the whole night the 2nd time we communicated. I would have married him in an instant as the connection between us was sizzling hot, but we were incompatible on the issue of kids, and thus could not proceed further. He also was not fully emotionally unavailable as he was just going through a divorce. He also had some hesitation due to my weight (though he was attracted to my face), and I had some hesitation due to his large number of prior sex partners. So we parted ways, sadly. But personality-wise, he was my dream guy...the kind of person I always fantasized about marrying.

Compared to all of those other guys, my husband was a gem. When I met him I was badly weary after about 4 miserable years on the dating scene. Yes, he was badly clingy in the beginning which put me off. But he made me feel safe, loved, beautiful, valued, etc. We were each other's first and only lovers (though we both had relationships in the past that didn't work out). Being each other's first was important to me, as I didn't want someone with a ton of prior partners. He is really handsome as well, and 3 years younger than me, and had a playful enthusiastic romantic side. He is also a lifelong vegetarian (now vegan), which is important to me in a partner and have a compatible spiritual lifestyle, which is really hard to find in another partner. Where will I find someone like this again? Yes, he has a lot of issues as well. He can be emotionally manipulative at times, when he wants something. He doesn't consider himself a provider for me (his wife) and puts his mom ahead of me. Now I've become the clingy one, and he often acts like he doesn't have enough time for me... which is sad. But he still does care, as he freaks out if we don't talk for a few days. He supports me in my diet (even does it along with me). I still feel some support with him and feel a lot better off with him than I did with all those past emotionally unavailable men. Although he's not the man I dreamed of being with (as I wanted someone with more conviction and integrity than my husband, more like that European fantasy guy from the past),... but when I think of divorcing my husband and going back to the past 4 awful years before him, I'd much rather be with him.

My family has encouraged me to finish my medical degree, lose the extra weight, regain my confidence... and they have told me that I won't have any problems meeting anyone as I'm a neat person and have a lot to give. But it's scary to think about giving up my handsome romantic 28 year old husband, in exchange for what? I'm 31 years old right now. Divorcing him puts me at a greater position of dating disadvantage than before when I was 'never married'. If it wasn't good when I was 29 and never married... I don't imagine my prospects improving being 3 years older and now divorced. I imagine getting dating interests from unemployed, substance abusing men 20 years my senior, who never finished high school, with 5 different kids from 3 different women. (If you fall into this category, please don't get angry at me or take it offensively. I was on internet dating sites for 4 years before meeting my husband and these were the guys who often expressed interest in me.) Sometimes I don't think my husband is my soulmate, and we aren't as intellectually compatible as I'd like... far from it. And I can't stand that he puts his family's needs ahead of mine. But he's so much better than so many guys out there. My inner voice often does tell me that there are huge red flags in my relationship... I feel like I deserve someone more intellectually stimulating, who wants to put me first and be a genuine husband and provider for me. But the dating scene seemed so bleak to me before, than I just don't want to go back there again. I'd rather fix what I have if possible. I feel like by the time I divorce him and find someone else relatively reasonable... it'll be 10 years later, I'll no longer be able to have kids, and he'll end up being just as flawed as my present husband and not half as attractive. I know this sounds totally negative and foolish (though I'm not otherwise a negative person as most would call me fun-loving and sweet and sincere). But these are my deep-seated fears, ridiculous as they may sound to some.

I'm working on myself. I have changed my diet. I go to an exercise bootcamp class. I spend more time looking attractive and dressing well. I am proud of my career and my accomplishments. But I still have some ways to go to get my confidence back again. I hope once I do this, the idea of dating again won't seem so demoralizing. Obviously I'm hoping my husband will change his ways and we can have a beautiful life together. But I realize this may not ever happen...

I realize this is not a relationship help site. But I know many of you have been puzzled by why I stay with my husband. This may explain it better.

Actually, all that this explains to me is that you're in a bad relationship.

[m60man 5]

Sometimes blessings come in disguises. This sounds like it might be one. Think about the things you have said. If and when he should come there do you really think things are going to get better? Very doubtful!

I also believe there is a big cultural difference. You should have studied Indian culture and the economic dynamics at play. Then you would have realized the significance of a sons role in their culture! This should have been done prior to the relationship getting serious. Cross cultural relationships can be rewarding if you do your homework and are willing to except some things that are not part of our daily norms. Some of these things are not always acceptable to us, as you are now finding out.

I think getting a Visa is the least of your problems right now............actually it may only be the beginning of bigger problems for you. You have some serious decisions to make. Just be glad you do not have any children in the mix at this time. How fair would that be to them! Think about it, forget your heart, look at the facts.......make your decisions on facts only! Sometimes it's better to fold em and find a new game. Good Luck.

Sometimes blessings come in disguises. This sounds like it might be one. Think about the things you have said. If and when he should come there do you really think things are going to get better? Very doubtful!

I also believe there is a big cultural difference. You should have studied Indian culture and the economic dynamics at play. Then you would have realized the significance of a sons role in their culture! This should have been done prior to the relationship getting serious. Cross cultural relationships can be rewarding if you do your homework and are willing to except some things that are not part of our daily norms. Some of these things are not always acceptable to us, as you are now finding out.

I think getting a Visa is the least of your problems right now............actually it may only be the beginning of bigger problems for you. You have some serious decisions to make. Just be glad you do not have any children in the mix at this time. How fair would that be to them! Think about it, forget your heart, look at the facts.......make your decisions on facts only! Sometimes it's better to fold em and find a new game. Good Luck.

[samename 28]

Rkk1,

Hi,chica.Great to hear that you are getting yourself together,so to speak.At the end of that process when you can look at yourself and say you are happy with full confidence;i think your viewpoint will completely change on your marriage.

You are very lucky that your parents have your back whatever you decide.As to your original post,It is true your husband needs to stop dragging things out.I will include you in my prayers.Best of luck.