Any chance that I have HIV/AIDS?

[Thatgirl2 21]

I don't get why or how people tell her to not panic. Being a virgin and getting In a marriage is a big deal. In middle eastern and South African countries you are raised to believe you are bringing something priceless into the marriage, your purity, your lack of baggage and history and you expect your partner to acknowledge that and respect that. So now not only one feels bad because her health has been compromised , but also her husband lied and lost her trust and didn't live to his duties that are expected from a solid, legit, honest man.

It's ok to feel bad, it's ok to feel stressed, scared and upset, just don't let it fog over your thinking process. Do what is best for ou. Get your health concerns in order and then deal with the marriage

[Dana and Divine 61]

Wishing you all the best and praying for a "healthy you'!

[bsd058 296]

I don't get why or how people tell her to not panic.

So...you want her to panic?

[noname0 6]

I put the second post on here and I was very scared. Chances are that my husband sees them too. He's not a member on JV but it's online, you know. As far as HPV, yes, it's the type that can lead to cervical cancer. Regarding HIV, some of you said it's not very likely to contract it if it's just encounter. Unfortunately, it's not the case, we've been married for around a year. I never got to see the doctor until it became too painful to me to have sex. I'm totally powerless. No money. No car. No friends. I'm not allowed to make friends.

In situation like this I really need supports. Yet, i'm not getting any from my husband, the only so-called family I have here. After I had the LEEP treatment, and the doctor said we could not have sex for 3 weeks, my husband got crazy. That night, he stuck his ####### into my mouth, "this hole is still working."

I'm not a stupid woman. But I just happen to be put in a helpless situation like this.

By the way, I don't feel comfortable and safe posting more on here. If you care, pls PM me. I will be very grateful.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Get tested, 1)get your husband tested, get a lawyer and 2) leave him. That he doesn't want you to see a doctor says a lot about him.

If 2 is the end result then why 1 in the first instance? Isn't that a total waste of time?

I put the second post on here and I was very scared. Chances are that my husband sees them too. He's not a member on JV but it's online, you know. As far as HPV, yes, it's the type that can lead to cervical cancer. Regarding HIV, some of you said it's not very likely to contract it if it's just encounter. Unfortunately, it's not the case, we've been married for around a year. I never got to see the doctor until it became too painful to me to have sex. I'm totally powerless. No money. No car. No friends. I'm not allowed to make friends.

In situation like this I really need supports. Yet, i'm not getting any from my husband, the only so-called family I have here. After I had the LEEP treatment, and the doctor said we could not have sex for 3 weeks, my husband got crazy. That night, he stuck his ####### into my mouth, "this hole is still working."

I'm not a stupid woman. But I just happen to be put in a helpless situation like this.

By the way, I don't feel comfortable and safe posting more on here. If you care, pls PM me. I will be very grateful.

Madam, why are you still there?

[AmyWrites 593]

If 2 is the end result then why 1 in the first instance? Isn't that a total waste of time?

Call me a terrible person, but I'd do it in the hopes he does have a disease and he goes through the worry and fear too.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Recently I had a Pap test and the doctor told me they found abnormal cells, which are the result of Human Papilloma Virus. This is very likely the cause of cervical cancer. I'm 100% sure I caught the virus from my husband, maybe 2 years ago when he went visit me in my home country and we had sex. I had never had sex before that.

Not until I came here and lived with my husband did I know that he had slept with hundreds of women, he said "more than 200". And he doesn't like condoms.

Now I'm scared. I'm wondering if I have HIV. The nurse at the clinic did take my blood the other day when I got the Pap smear, but I'm not sure if they did an HIV test. It's now too late to call the clinic and I'm too nervous to wait until tomorrow.

Before I came here I had to do a medical exam too, as part of the visa application procedure. I don't really remember if was HIV-tested. If I was then I didn't have HIV back then, that means my husband didn't have HIV when we first met two years ago. He said he didn't sleep with anybody else since.

What do you think?

I'm just panicked!

The two are not related and one is not an indicator of another. If your husband does not have the HIV virus it does not matter how many women he had sex with. You do or you do not, simple as that. You were tested for HIV before you came, that does NOT mean your husband does not have HIV, he could and not transmit it to you. Having sex with someone that has HIV does not mean you automatically get it. The basketball player "Magic Johnson" was diagnosed HIV positive 20 years ago and his wife is not HIV positive today. I presume they had sex during that time

The only way to tell is to be tested.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Get tested, get your husband tested, get a lawyer and leave him. That he doesn't want you to see a doctor says a lot about him.

Trying to control her seeing a doctor is a bad thing, I agree. As far as sex with 200 women? So what? It was before they were married, before he knew she existed. What's the problem? Condom or no condom is his choice, though he should have been tested before entering this relationship, I agree. And he should be honest so she can make decisions, but what the heck, if he slept with 200 women and then stopped for YOU...you must be pretty special.

Amy, c'mon, you live in Russia. You think it is difficult to have sex with 200 women there? Or may other places? I lived in Ukraine, having sex was easier than falling off a log and I could choose a new woman every night if I wanted and it would take about 20 minutes to reel her in. Seriously? Do the math. 200 women is not even a full year in Russia or Ukraine.

The thing to do though is to discuss if he really has stopped sleeping with other women. Someone that has sex with that many women is hyper sexual and that is OK but is he going to change because he is married? Maybe that is something you need to agree on before hand and maybe he did not give you that opportunity. I don't know.

[Wendy javier 10]

Thank you all for your advice and sharing. The pap smear was done two months ago. And two weeks before I saw the doctor again, I don't really remember the technical terms the doctor used because I was too freaked out, but he said something like it was severe. He did LEEP treatment to remove them.

The marriage has been rocky too. I'm very stressed, to be exact, miserable. I have had many health problems since I moved here because of the stressful living condition. Yet, my husband only let me see the gynecologist because I complained about the pain during and after sexual intercourse. He didn't care about my feelings or health; yet, he doesn't want to be accused of raping. Discussions with him about anything are just impossible.

It's just depressing. Sorry for venting. But I really panic! I wish I could go back in time.

Take it one day at a time and when you need to vent dont even worry about doing it here. We are a caring group.

Blessings to you.Hope everything turns out for the best for you.

[AmyWrites 593]

Trying to control her seeing a doctor is a bad thing, I agree. As far as sex with 200 women? So what? It was before they were married, before he knew she existed. What's the problem? Condom or no condom is his choice, though he should have been tested before entering this relationship, I agree. And he should be honest so she can make decisions, but what the heck, if he slept with 200 women and then stopped for YOU...you must be pretty special.

Amy, c'mon, you live in Russia. You think it is difficult to have sex with 200 women there? Or may other places? I lived in Ukraine, having sex was easier than falling off a log and I could choose a new woman every night if I wanted and it would take about 20 minutes to reel her in. Seriously? Do the math. 200 women is not even a full year in Russia or Ukraine.

The thing to do though is to discuss if he really has stopped sleeping with other women. Someone that has sex with that many women is hyper sexual and that is OK but is he going to change because he is married? Maybe that is something you need to agree on before hand and maybe he did not give you that opportunity. I don't know.

I never said anything about screwing 200 women, as long as he no longer is doing it, well, what's done is done. What's disturbing to me is that he does not want her to see a doctor. That's what, if I were her, would make me run out the door. To me that is what truly points to him being a real bad person.

Edited October 20, 2012 by AmyWrites

[NikLR 13,227]

I put the second post on here and I was very scared. Chances are that my husband sees them too. He's not a member on JV but it's online, you know. As far as HPV, yes, it's the type that can lead to cervical cancer. Regarding HIV, some of you said it's not very likely to contract it if it's just encounter. Unfortunately, it's not the case, we've been married for around a year. I never got to see the doctor until it became too painful to me to have sex. I'm totally powerless. No money. No car. No friends. I'm not allowed to make friends.

In situation like this I really need supports. Yet, i'm not getting any from my husband, the only so-called family I have here. After I had the LEEP treatment, and the doctor said we could not have sex for 3 weeks, my husband got crazy. That night, he stuck his ####### into my mouth, "this hole is still working."

I'm not a stupid woman. But I just happen to be put in a helpless situation like this.

By the way, I don't feel comfortable and safe posting more on here. If you care, pls PM me. I will be very grateful.

1) the LEEP procedure is very effective. I've had one done and it is I think 97% effective (or close to it) for precancerous cells.

2) Get a blood test done to find out if you have ANY STD/STI. Some are cureable but can be very painful or cause death without treatment. Not just HIV!

3) Where are you??? The USA? Where are you from?! If you are in the USA you need to go to a women's shelter. PERIOD. Leave asap!!! This is not okay treatment of a woman. If he is the USC you can still go because you're a battered wife. He is abusive. Being that controlling where you are not allowed to have friends is abuse, he probably insults you and is in general mean. That is emotional abuse. Only "letting you go" to a doctor because you are having pain while having sex is abuse. Shoving his anatomy into your mouth without your consent is ABUSE. This is not a partnership and you do not have to put up with it. If you are not in the USA, when he is not home, you need to leave, go to the embassy and tell them you need help because your husband is abusive. You have the power to help yourself!!! Please do so!

[Peter_Pan 661]

Six months after I was diagnosed I was deemed 'clean' and no longer carry it or am capable of transmitting it (thank god) and as a bonus you never have to worry about getting that strand again.

As far as I know, you will always carry it, it just went dormant and can re-activate under certain circumstances.

[Thatgirl2 21]

So...you want her to panic?

Panicking is a healthy part of the process. It's HIV she is talking about, is it possible not to panic?

[bsd058 296]

Panicking is a healthy part of the process. It's HIV she is talking about, is it possible not to panic?

Panicking is not healthy. That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. The only thing panicking causes is mistakes and sleepless nights. What's healthy about that? The trick is to not panic and think logically.

Not a whole lot of that in this world.

Edited October 22, 2012 by bsd058

[Kajikit 65]

The HPV virus is very common, which is why they started vaccinating teenage girls against it to try to cut the infection rate down. It's nothing to panic about in itself. Regular pap smears will make sure that any abnormal growths are removed before they can turn into anything serious.

But your husband's attitude towards you (and not 'letting' you access health care) is VERY concerning. Keeping you happy, healthy, and looked after should be his number one priority. Instead you say yourself he's keeping you penniless, friendless, and totally helpless. That is ABUSE. YOU DESERVE BETTER.