more on age differences

[morocco4ever 63]

No, but on several occasions you seem to have been opposed to things that many people consider personal decisions such as this one.

There is nothing in my faith that classifies this as fobidden or disliked.

Veiled Princess are you a true example of your faith.... unable to express your own opinion and base all your decisions on your religion???

Does that mean that if its not classified in your faith no matter what it is its ok by you????

Is there anything wrong with living by your religion? I have great admiration for it. Was that statement really necessary?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Now that I'm finally old enough to attract 30 something men, its not quite so bad. This one is more mature than I am . I cause all the trouble and he calms me right down. I call him the old man and he always says "what else should I be".

Different strokes for different folks but in my opinion young for fleeting fun, loving old will always hold! !

Someone's loving young with you

[sarah and hicham 3]

lordy lordy lodry

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Why does Hicham have better hair than you do, Sarah?

[sarah and hicham 3]

Why does Hicham have better hair than you do, Sarah?

He was lucky enough to have the curliest brillow pad for hair that I have ever seen in my life.

[sarah and hicham 3]

bumpity bump

[~Jess~ 0]

since i was in high school i have only dated 2 guys less then 4yrs older then me.

my first husband was 9yrs older then my. we started dating when i was almost 16, i dated his younger brother in school thats how i met him.....we got married on my 17th birthday and i was 6mths pregnant, cant say it was planned for either but i am blessed to have my baby even tho the husband went to the dump cause hes a cheater.........anyway

my current husband is 37 and i am 23 u do the math. he is great but sometimes we have issues cause he 'fathers' me. i just tell him look i have enuf father figures in my life i dont need a husband that acts like one

[honeyblonde 0]

Have you read the book? There are many themes in it you won't get from the wikipedia notes. The boy sees the romance through his eyes. It is an older friend of his that has the friendship with the older woman, not the little boy.

Condescending coming through loud and clear Yes, I read the book and I didn't need to read Wiki notes

You said "it is a novel based on this theme". It isn't. It isn't a book about older women and younger men.

If you are referring to the ice cream shop scene, that is hardly the "theme" of the book and was hardly a "relationship".

Sorry Rebecca, I should have said "a theme". I didn't mean to sound condescending, I was just asking a question because I don't know how you could have read the book and missed this part of it. It was such a strong part of the book to me that it was the only part I really remembered until last night when you questioned me and I looked it up and realized that it was just one of the stories in the book. I'm referring to the relationship between William Forrester and Helen Loomis. They didn't just talk once in the ice cream shop, which again, makes me wonder if maybe it's been as long since you read the book as it has for me.

Why do you always challenge me like this? I say something and you call me a liar and then get mad at me when I get mad at you for calling me a liar? Yes, I should have said "a theme" not "the theme", but that's just semantics. It is in there. Are you the only person around here who is allowed to know something?

[Bosco 1]

Have you read the book? There are many themes in it you won't get from the wikipedia notes. The boy sees the romance through his eyes. It is an older friend of his that has the friendship with the older woman, not the little boy.

Condescending coming through loud and clear Yes, I read the book and I didn't need to read Wiki notes

You said "it is a novel based on this theme". It isn't. It isn't a book about older women and younger men.

If you are referring to the ice cream shop scene, that is hardly the "theme" of the book and was hardly a "relationship".

Sorry Rebecca, I should have said "a theme". I didn't mean to sound condescending, I was just asking a question because I don't know how you could have read the book and missed this part of it. It was such a strong part of the book to me that it was the only part I really remembered until last night when you questioned me and I looked it up and realized that it was just one of the stories in the book. I'm referring to the relationship between William Forrester and Helen Loomis. They didn't just talk once in the ice cream shop, which again, makes me wonder if maybe it's been as long since you read the book as it has for me.

Why do you always challenge me like this? I say something and you call me a liar and then get mad at me when I get mad at you for calling me a liar? Yes, I should have said "a theme" not "the theme", but that's just semantics. It is in there. Are you the only person around here who is allowed to know something?

No, I am not playing semantics. You said "this is the theme of the book". It is not. I would not classify it even as "a theme". The characters had a friendship with a deep spiritual understanding of one another and wondered if in another time they could be more. The theme of this is not older women/younger men, Liz, but the fleeting nature of time and joy. But it doesn't surprise me that you take this a different meaning away from this, especially the one you did.

Frankly Liz, I am tired of you saying things and then feigning outrage or surprise about the reaction to your words. I did not call you a liar and you now saying I did. That makes you a liar.

Don't accuse me of playing sementics when your own words hitch you up. What you are doing is backpedaling and anyone reading this ####### can see it. It starts from "the theme", then it turns into a romance "through the boys eyes" (he is in his 30's BTW) then it becomes "a theme" of many. The reason I could not connect who you were talking about right away is because your interpretation is illogical, IMO.

To compare a friendship between a woman in her 90's and a man in his 30's and speculation about what if they met in another lifetime to the fully developed marriages of the women in this forum is not something I see as a related "theme". Again, the theme between the characters in the book was not older women/younger men but how life is elusive, as that is a running theme throughout the ENTIRE book.

Yes, I will challenge you if you post something that makes I find to be incomprehensible. You want to be snide again and imply I think I am the only one around her that can no something, go ahead. I find it quite funny you react that way when questioned.

[Ban Hammer 13,337]

[~Jackie~ 30]

After reading the first post of this thread, I will reply. I think I own one of the largerst age differences of any one here. I am 18 years older than Mohammed. When we met, I didn't see him as an age. I saw a man with honest eyes, I saw a business owner that attented college and a man that had dreams and ambitions. He made me laugh, he made me think and in the long run, he has made my life a beautiful place to be.

Would it have been different if I was 40 and he was 20, probably. I might not have found him to be someone I coud have intelligent conversations with if he was 20. Every one that spends time with us can see we are in love and living this life happily together. Not every day is roses, but every day is a garden.

Who else has a large age difference here?

Jackie

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Glad this subject has come up, I to am the older woman probably more than most of you. At first it was something i tried to back away from because in the U.S. that just isn't what we grew up to know.

We also have had the many conversations about what happens when something age related might happen why would a young man need to be tied down to live like that? His reply, he will do what is necessary from love because he knows that anything MIGHT happen to him also no matter what age, and i will be there to take care of him.

The maturity level is what is necessary, when together age never is even thought about. Friends, family, everyone accepts us the way we are. We have the same dreams as anyone does to live a nice quiet life, he doesnt want kids which is fine i already have grown kids and now we will be free to travel someday.

Now my big question, we will be sending in our papers this week or next how many of u (older women) have had problems in getting the visa process completed. I am sure as most of you have said the age will cause red flags to go up, what problems have you already had and has anyone been just completely denied because they thought fraud with the age? Hopefully they will see us for the two people we really are and not question just because we dont fit the (norm)

[honeyblonde 0]

Have you read the book? There are many themes in it you won't get from the wikipedia notes. The boy sees the romance through his eyes. It is an older friend of his that has the friendship with the older woman, not the little boy.

Condescending coming through loud and clear Yes, I read the book and I didn't need to read Wiki notes

You said "it is a novel based on this theme". It isn't. It isn't a book about older women and younger men.

If you are referring to the ice cream shop scene, that is hardly the "theme" of the book and was hardly a "relationship".

Sorry Rebecca, I should have said "a theme". I didn't mean to sound condescending, I was just asking a question because I don't know how you could have read the book and missed this part of it. It was such a strong part of the book to me that it was the only part I really remembered until last night when you questioned me and I looked it up and realized that it was just one of the stories in the book. I'm referring to the relationship between William Forrester and Helen Loomis. They didn't just talk once in the ice cream shop, which again, makes me wonder if maybe it's been as long since you read the book as it has for me.

Why do you always challenge me like this? I say something and you call me a liar and then get mad at me when I get mad at you for calling me a liar? Yes, I should have said "a theme" not "the theme", but that's just semantics. It is in there. Are you the only person around here who is allowed to know something?

No, I am not playing semantics. You said "this is the theme of the book". It is not. I would not classify it even as "a theme". The characters had a friendship with a deep spiritual understanding of one another and wondered if in another time they could be more. The theme of this is not older women/younger men, Liz, but the fleeting nature of time and joy. But it doesn't surprise me that you take this a different meaning away from this, especially the one you did.

Frankly Liz, I am tired of you saying things and then feigning outrage or surprise about the reaction to your words. I did not call you a liar and you now saying I did. That makes you a liar.

Don't accuse me of playing sementics when your own words hitch you up. What you are doing is backpedaling and anyone reading this ####### can see it. It starts from "the theme", then it turns into a romance "through the boys eyes" (he is in his 30's BTW) then it becomes "a theme" of many. The reason I could not connect who you were talking about right away is because your interpretation is illogical, IMO.

To compare a friendship between a woman in her 90's and a man in his 30's and speculation about what if they met in another lifetime to the fully developed marriages of the women in this forum is not something I see as a related "theme". Again, the theme between the characters in the book was not older women/younger men but how life is elusive, as that is a running theme throughout the ENTIRE book.

Yes, I will challenge you if you post something that makes I find to be incomprehensible. You want to be snide again and imply I think I am the only one around her that can no something, go ahead. I find it quite funny you react that way when questioned.

Say whatever you want about the book, literary reviews disagree with your opinion of my take on the book. While not the primary theme of the book, this theme is considered one of the main ones by those in the field.

Yes, the book is about the fleetingness of life - it is a 12 year old boys realization of death and love and family and hope and despair. You can't even understand what I say so why should I talk to you? I never said that the person who cared about the older woman was 12, I said the relationship was told by the boy in the book.

Twist my words however you want. I didn't post to start another war with you. I just recommended a book to some here who I thought would enjoy it. Not everyone takes the same things away from books, that's why they appeal to such a wide audience. You've made it clear here and in certain other conversations we've had that you don't approve of relationships with huge age gaps. I wouldn't have expected you to get that part of the book. We tend to see what we can relate to, and that wouldn't be something you would relate to.

It wasn't your saying that it wasn't the theme of the book that got to me, but rather you saying that wasn't in the book - period. Why do you have to attack someone for just recommending a book?

[chri'stina 190]

I know in life we can't really decide exactly who will pop into our lives, and some situations we can't understand unless we are in it.

If I think of my limit, it's max 6-8 years older & 2 years younger. But since Sujeet is 4 years older than me, it's not something I had to think about much since I thought that was a perfect age gap. Even with 4 years difference, we occasionally have gaps between what I want to do and what he wants to do in certain situations. So I can't imagine having a really big age gap.

I knew a couple were the wife was 11 years older than the husband, but they looked the same age and no one ever thought it was weird. Unfortunately that marriage ended because the husband decided to act like a rebellious teenager at age 36 or so and ruined their marriage(cheated, other crazy stuff).

I personally can't imagine falling in love with someone a lot younger than me or much older than me. But I know many can't imagine how people fall in love on the internet(like I did). So I can't really judge. Especially when I see a couple like Jackie and Mohammed (Jmagareh) who have been on VJ a long time and are happy together even though they have an age gap.

Edited October 30, 2006 by stina&suj

[Bosco 1]

Have you read the book? There are many themes in it you won't get from the wikipedia notes. The boy sees the romance through his eyes. It is an older friend of his that has the friendship with the older woman, not the little boy.

Condescending coming through loud and clear Yes, I read the book and I didn't need to read Wiki notes

You said "it is a novel based on this theme". It isn't. It isn't a book about older women and younger men.

If you are referring to the ice cream shop scene, that is hardly the "theme" of the book and was hardly a "relationship".

Sorry Rebecca, I should have said "a theme". I didn't mean to sound condescending, I was just asking a question because I don't know how you could have read the book and missed this part of it. It was such a strong part of the book to me that it was the only part I really remembered until last night when you questioned me and I looked it up and realized that it was just one of the stories in the book. I'm referring to the relationship between William Forrester and Helen Loomis. They didn't just talk once in the ice cream shop, which again, makes me wonder if maybe it's been as long since you read the book as it has for me.

Why do you always challenge me like this? I say something and you call me a liar and then get mad at me when I get mad at you for calling me a liar? Yes, I should have said "a theme" not "the theme", but that's just semantics. It is in there. Are you the only person around here who is allowed to know something?

No, I am not playing semantics. You said "this is the theme of the book". It is not. I would not classify it even as "a theme". The characters had a friendship with a deep spiritual understanding of one another and wondered if in another time they could be more. The theme of this is not older women/younger men, Liz, but the fleeting nature of time and joy. But it doesn't surprise me that you take this a different meaning away from this, especially the one you did.

Frankly Liz, I am tired of you saying things and then feigning outrage or surprise about the reaction to your words. I did not call you a liar and you now saying I did. That makes you a liar.

Don't accuse me of playing sementics when your own words hitch you up. What you are doing is backpedaling and anyone reading this ####### can see it. It starts from "the theme", then it turns into a romance "through the boys eyes" (he is in his 30's BTW) then it becomes "a theme" of many. The reason I could not connect who you were talking about right away is because your interpretation is illogical, IMO.

To compare a friendship between a woman in her 90's and a man in his 30's and speculation about what if they met in another lifetime to the fully developed marriages of the women in this forum is not something I see as a related "theme". Again, the theme between the characters in the book was not older women/younger men but how life is elusive, as that is a running theme throughout the ENTIRE book.

Yes, I will challenge you if you post something that makes I find to be incomprehensible. You want to be snide again and imply I think I am the only one around her that can no something, go ahead. I find it quite funny you react that way when questioned.

Say whatever you want about the book, literary reviews disagree with your opinion of my take on the book. While not the primary theme of the book, this theme is considered one of the main ones by those in the field.

Yes, the book is about the fleetingness of life - it is a 12 year old boys realization of death and love and family and hope and despair. You can't even understand what I say so why should I talk to you? I never said that the person who cared about the older woman was 12, I said the relationship was told by the boy in the book.

Twist my words however you want. I didn't post to start another war with you. I just recommended a book to some here who I thought would enjoy it. Not everyone takes the same things away from books, that's why they appeal to such a wide audience. You've made it clear here and in certain other conversations we've had that you don't approve of relationships with huge age gaps. I wouldn't have expected you to get that part of the book. We tend to see what we can relate to, and that wouldn't be something you would relate to.

It wasn't your saying that it wasn't the theme of the book that got to me, but rather you saying that wasn't in the book - period. Why do you have to attack someone for just recommending a book?

I would love to see those literary reviews that say the theme of the book is older woman/younger man marriages. Really I would. How in the world do you equate a friendship between a 90 something and a 30 something to the marriages and engagements in this forum is beyond me.

Stop the dramatics. I didn't attack you for recommending a book and I didn't attack you. You recommended a book based on the idea that the theme of the book is the older woman/younger man relationships as discussed in this forum. That is erroneous. Why should someone pick up the book when it is clearly not what it is about?

Again, it doesn't surprise me that *you* understand it as being about older women/younger man. Because two characters in the book have an age gap doesn't make it a "theme" of the book.

Also, if you want to get into conversations outside of this forum, this could really get interesting. Is that where you want to go Liz?