What's with those people in China who stare endlessly?

[notmuch88tosay 21]

Other have already alluded to this but as a foreigner in China you pretty much are a goldfish in a fish bowl. This is true even if they are not staring. It is really difficult to blend in.

Hi LBeachey,

Yea, I've gotten used to it by now. As long as they don't try and feed me goldfish food I can handle it.

I won't sing and dance for them if they try that.

notmuch88tosay

[notmuch88tosay 21]

I finally got around to viewing that this week.

OMG - it's so spot on.

The parodies on youtube are hilarious -

so far my fav two are from Miss Korea Contest and JustKiddingFilms

I can't access YouTube while in China, so I cannot view it.

By the way, fiancee cancelled trip to U.S. Embassy for 'Marriageability Affidavit'. Will need to reschedule it.

See what I'm dealing with here, I showed up in China unsure if I could get the Panda to cooperate, so I knew I have my work cut out for me and wasn't in hyper "gotta be ultra-organized and get things done right away" mode from the outset.

She told me she loves me and said she cares about me just recently, spends time with me often, slept with me during this trip and during the last one... but it's not easy getting her to the finish line.

Close to running out of patients and meeting with other ladies while I am in China, but I am still holding out hope for me and her.

notmuch88tosay

[Darnell 8,479]

the trip to the US Embassy / Consulate is for YOU - SHE NOT NEED TO GO WITH YOU.

at all.

Why would she even have input, on a trip that is yours, that YOU must make?

The appointment is not hers, the appointment is YOURS, during ACS time.

What's up ?

Edited October 18, 2012 by Darnell

[Ryan H 3,819]

I can't access YouTube while in China, so I cannot view it.

Try youku.com or tudou.com

But more importantly, wholeheartedly agree with what Darnell said about the Embassy/Consulate trip.

[notmuch88tosay 21]

the trip to the US Embassy / Consulate is for YOU - SHE NOT NEED TO GO WITH YOU.

at all.

Why would she even have input, on a trip that is yours, that YOU must make?

The appointment is not hers, the appointment is YOURS, during ACS time.

What's up ?

Yes, but at first she said she would go with me, then she pulls a noshow at the last minute. I told her I had a difficult time setting the appointment up (IE Browser kept taking me around in circles. Finally Firefox Browser worked.)

I don't know if I need to take a train, an express train or what, or where to go, can I bring a small suitcase, where is the U.S. Consulate, what hotel to stay at, it would be pretty hard for me to do on my own, especially with my limited Mandarin speaking ability.

And she said the reason for her noshow is that she is trying to get her father's permission for the marriage. But he told us it was her decision during my first trip. So unless things changed from that time, she is stalling or playing games or trying to let me know that getting married (or re-married if I dare) in China is not an easy task.

She knows how long I will be in China and she has always pushed things out to the very last minute. I would prefer to hear from her that her father gave the okay before I try to do such a difficult task on my own.

notmuch88tosay

[notmuch88tosay 21]

Try youku.com or tudou.com

But more importantly, wholeheartedly agree with what Darnell said about the Embassy/Consulate trip.

Thanks Ryan,

I always appreciate your input.

notmuch88tosay

[rogerj 0]

Travelled to China 11 times, and my wife and I travelled around China some on most trips. Everywhere we went, I was a novelty. Older folks stared. Stared at me, stared at us, stared at her. IF anything was said, they were asking her "why an American"? Middle aged folks would look, then look away. Kids would stare, and make a point of being sure I saw them. Even her extended family would stare at first.

So I began to make friends. I would cross my eyes and wiggle my ears at the kids! Made them laugh! Then they would try to impress me with their English. Some of these youngsters were impressive!

Her family and friends were just curious.

The strangers on the street and older folks had rarely seen an American. Just curious I believe.

My suggestion is to break the ice, start a conversation, cross your eyes at the kids, laugh and have fun!

[Joshuaching 11]

Hello,

Most of the Chinese people in China that I have encountered have been very friendly, pleasant and helpful; I like Chinese people very much.

But each day I seem to come across at least one person, usually two or three, who stare at me as if I will give them money or a plane ticket to the Carribean if they stare at me long enough.

At first I just ignored it, but now it is starting to get to me a little. If I were a goldfish in a fish bowl I wouldn't mind so much, but last time I checked I'm not.

These people stare at me if I'm alone, or if I'm with my fiancee. Some of them go out of their way to have me see them staring at me; like they will walk past me and turn their heads around to stare as they pass me.

I don't know about the Chinese culture, but as far as I know, staring at someone is rude in most cultures.

I can deal with the men in the elevators who smoke cigarettes, cough, spit on the floor or even blow snot out of their nose onto the floor as I'm heading to get something to eat, but the staring is a little too much.

I know there are the educated and the uneducated in China.

So my question is, why do people stare at foriegners like me for long periods of time each day in China? Are these the uneducated people in China who have never learned manners? Or is there another reason.

Again, I really like China and Chinese people, I am just trying to understand this phenomena so it won't bother me.

notmuch88tosay

Enjoy the limelight! You're a movie star for the moment each time you step out in the open. But seriously, people stare anywhere because "they are wondering who you are, what you are, and why you look like that!" Most Chinese, a few million anyway, have not seen a "paleface", so seeing one for the first time is always a curiosity. You'll find it the same way anyplace in rural Asia.

When I first came to America, I was disappointed that no one stared at me for being different. Where I come from in the Philippines, we always rush out just to look at a white or black person walking by in the neighborhood. That's because a white/black person walking around the neighborhood is an event that happens only once in a blue moon! Ha ha ha...LOL. Nowadays, a white/black person is common place there and foreigners are stared at only occasionally.

[notmuch88tosay 21]

Thanks rogerj, thanks Joshuaching for sharing your experiences and insights.

I appreciate it.

Take care,

notmuch88tosay

[Darnell 8,479]

http://beijing.usembassy-china.org.cn/as092508.html

Then go on yer own. The guards will let you in with yer passport, and you can get to the appointment desk by showing a printout of the appointment.

Forget about including her in yer trip. Simply go. Then get that affadavit. Then simply return .

Good Luck !

Yes, but at first she said she would go with me, then she pulls a noshow at the last minute. I told her I had a difficult time setting the appointment up (IE Browser kept taking me around in circles. Finally Firefox Browser worked.)

I don't know if I need to take a train, an express train or what, or where to go, can I bring a small suitcase, where is the U.S. Consulate, what hotel to stay at, it would be pretty hard for me to do on my own, especially with my limited Mandarin speaking ability.

And she said the reason for her noshow is that she is trying to get her father's permission for the marriage. But he told us it was her decision during my first trip. So unless things changed from that time, she is stalling or playing games or trying to let me know that getting married (or re-married if I dare) in China is not an easy task.

She knows how long I will be in China and she has always pushed things out to the very last minute. I would prefer to hear from her that her father gave the okay before I try to do such a difficult task on my own.

notmuch88tosay

[notmuch88tosay 21]

http://beijing.usembassy-china.org.cn/as092508.html

Then go on yer own. The guards will let you in with yer passport, and you can get to the appointment desk by showing a printout of the appointment.

Forget about including her in yer trip. Simply go. Then get that affadavit. Then simply return .

Good Luck !

Hi Darnell,

Thanks for your support. I appreciate it very much.

I might act on your advice, I need to think about it, cause my fiancee asked me to give her three days to try to convince her father to approve of our marriage.

I think there is one, maybe two days left max, until she gives me the scoop. In the meanwhile, I wrote letters to a couple ladies online and they wrote me back. I want to meet with them in case my fiancee convinces me that she is one of the insane one's. I mean look at it from my point of view, this trip will cost me about $7,000, I can only travel to China once a year max. If my fiancee blows my mind and tells me her father said 'no', then I need to move on to avoid having to wait another year just to meet a new lady to begin a new relationship.

So after being patient as hell with my fiancee for two years and being okay with her letting our K1 Fiancee Visa expire, and not losing it after she asks me to come to China right away to marry her, then she pulls this... I need to look out for myself at this point.

Thanks again,

notmuch88tosay

[MuDelphi 159]

You're already working up alternative women and contingency plans? Is this a joke? You clearly aren't ready for marriage with this girl.

[notmuch88tosay 21]

You're already working up alternative women and contingency plans? Is this a joke? You clearly aren't ready for marriage with this girl.

You know nothing about the history or facts of this relationship.

So please take your insignificant ignorant opinion somewhere where someone might want to hear it.

In other words, go away.

If I want your marriage advice, I'll ask for it. Don't hold your breath.

notmuch88tosay

[MuDelphi 159]

This is a trainwreck. You are completely unprepared for marriage.

[notmuch88tosay 21]

This is a trainwreck. You are completely unprepared for marriage.

Hi Professor Ignorant Know-It-All,

You just don't want to go away, do you?

So why don't you tell everyone here what qualifies you to be giving marriage advice?

How many people have you successfully adviced on their marriages? How many marriages have you been involved in? How many divorces?

Do you have a PHD on the subject? A Masters Degree? Ever been to college?

How many books have you read on marriage or on relationships? How many books have you written on the subject?

How many clients do you have in your marriage advice database? Do they pay you for your advice, or is your advice completely worthless so they wouldn't ever consider it?

Or are you just an online Troll who trolls sites to look for people to infect with your caveman Troll misery?

Nice hair cut by the way.

notmuch88tosay