How to find bridesmaids!!???

[sms78 18]

Well we're married obviously, but never had a chance to celebrate with family and friends. So, we decided to have a wedding party next summer. We're planning to do a simple ceremony/exchange of vows as well.

My husband is going to have 4 best friends as his groomsmen. Soooo....what about me!!!???? My sister in law will be one of them, but I need 3 more!!??

How did you guys do it? My husband thinks it's weird to ask his female friends to do it for me because it's not like I'm completely new to US. I was in US as a college student between 2004 to 2009, and so I should have some friends in America. and Yes I do have friends from college days, but they're far from best friends?? Also some of my close friends back in college were international students as well. So naturally they are back in their countries now.

He suggests me to find good friends FAST then I can have bridesmaid that makes sense. Huuhh?? Please someone any suggestion for this situation?

PS. pls move if it's not the right place to post it. thanks.

[codygrace 14]

I personally don't think it's weird for you to ask some of his best female friends if you have established somewhat of a relationship with them. I have my sister-in-law, 3 of my fiance's sisters, and a best friend from Canada coming. You do have quite a while to establish your own friendships too! You don't have to balance the wedding with 4 groomsmen and 4 bridesmaids, either.

Well good luck!

[Penguin_ie 5,997]

- No need to balance the party

- Are any of your friends or family from home coming for the celebration? If so you could ask them.

- Don't limit yourself to women; if you have any good friends that are men, they can stand up for you as well.

[kzielu 1,153]

Make a casting...

Why do you need bridesmaids ? On my wedding, I had neither best man nor any groomsmen. Asking people I did not know well enough for any of these roles seemed plain dumb to me and I was perfectly fine not having anyone.

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

I think it's a little selfish for hubby to insist you come up with some friends. Tell him to pick one, since you are only comfortable asking one person. It's expensive to be a bridesmaid so casual acquaintances will feel awkward saying no, but won't be that happy to spend the money for your big show.

[sms78 18]

I can't agree more with everyone....He's very strict about his rules. I cannot have men or older people as bridesmaids. Otherwise, I can ask my mom, aunt, and male cousin who are flying to US for our wedding. None of my friends is coming to US to celebrate because we're going to have a party in Japan as well. Also bridesmaids have to be 4 to balance both parties.

[lovelyalex 99]

I think you and him should have talked about this before he asked his four friends. It would have been easier for you to balance out if there were only two etc. I was in exactly the same situation as you and ended up with one friend from one, another who flew in from out of state for a day and another 4 (four!!) who were his friends or his friends girlfriends that I had gotten close to. I felt like the entire event was totally unbalanced because no one from home came (my family suck) but I had a great time despite that. But when you do your party in Japan he'll be the one in the minority and you'll be the popular one

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I can't agree more with everyone....He's very strict about his rules. I cannot have men or older people as bridesmaids. Otherwise, I can ask my mom, aunt, and male cousin who are flying to US for our wedding. None of my friends is coming to US to celebrate because we're going to have a party in Japan as well. Also bridesmaids have to be 4 to balance both parties.

He is being selfish. He can only pick one friend if you only have one bridesmaid. That's how it works. If he wants it to balance, he cuts 3 people. It's irrational for him to set all these rules for you and yet not follow them himself. If it has to balance, and you only have one, then he removes 3.

[Kajikit 65]

Tell him to grow up and get real! Four bridesmaids is a ridiculous requirement if you don't have four close friends/relatives to fill the spots. He can cut his groomsmen back, or you can have an odd number. There's no law that says that you have to have anybody at all. You can have anybody you like in your wedding, or nobody at all. Sure, a 'bridesmaid' is usually a younger woman/girl but nowadays people have ATTENDANTS who can be anyone at all who you feel close to.

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

He is being selfish. He can only pick one friend if you only have one bridesmaid. That's how it works. If he wants it to balance, he cuts 3 people. It's irrational for him to set all these rules for you and yet not follow them himself. If it has to balance, and you only have one, then he removes 3.

Amen sister !!

He's very strict about his rules. Seriously?!??

Do not get caught up in a marriage where you follow somebody's rules. Bad, bad way to start. Compromise or you refuse to be the "bride" at his theatrical production. It's easy. Repeat: I am not participating in this (non)wedding.

[sms78 18]

But when you do your party in Japan he'll be the one in the minority and you'll be the popular one

I can't wait for this LOL!

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

There is a servicce for everything; http://www.rentabridesmaid.com/page.asp?articleid=15

Rent a Bridemaid for the day.

If he's that strict, then he must PAY to Play.

Edited October 13, 2012 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[sms78 18]

Amen sister !!

He's very strict about his rules. Seriously?!??

Do not get caught up in a marriage where you follow somebody's rules. Bad, bad way to start. Compromise or you refuse to be the "bride" at his theatrical production. It's easy. Repeat: I am not participating in this (non)wedding.

Exactly. I have no intention of following all of his rules. But I'm just thinking it would be nice to find 3 more bridesmaids if that makes him happy. See the thing is that he is a very bridy-groom. He has dreamed about his big day for a long time. On the other hand, I can't care less about the wedding. Only thing I'm interested in about the whole wedding thing is that I get to wear a pretty and possibly expensive dress

I still think it's unfair though. He talks me as if I have no friend, but I came to US when I was 21 and being here a total of 6 years. He is born and raised in LA and is almost 30! He tries to compare the amount of friends he has gained in 30 years to mine!! It's nothing but unfair.

I hope I can find somebody suitable. We're going to pay all the costs for being bridesmaid, btw.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Exactly. I have no intention of following all of his rules. But I'm just thinking it would be nice to find 3 more bridesmaids if that makes him happy. See the thing is that he is a very bridy-groom. He has dreamed about his big day for a long time. On the other hand, I can't care less about the wedding. Only thing I'm interested in about the whole wedding thing is that I get to wear a pretty and possibly expensive dress

I still think it's unfair though. He talks me as if I have no friend, but I came to US when I was 21 and being here a total of 6 years. He is born and raised in LA and is almost 30! He tries to compare the amount of friends he has gained in 30 years to mine!! It's nothing but unfair.

I hope I can find somebody suitable. We're going to pay all the costs for being bridesmaid, btw.

Where do you live? If you're near Iowa I'll help you out

[Pinkrlion 2,724]

I think you and him should have talked about this before he asked his four friends. It would have been easier for you to balance out if there were only two etc. I was in exactly the same situation as you and ended up with one friend from one, another who flew in from out of state for a day and another 4 (four!!) who were his friends or his friends girlfriends that I had gotten close to. I felt like the entire event was totally unbalanced because no one from home came (my family suck) but I had a great time despite that. But when you do your party in Japan he'll be the one in the minority and you'll be the popular one

Exactly, I agree!!!! I told my fiance 2 groomsmen, not really fair for him to find 5 people.