I am lost

[Hopelessgal 4]

I know most of you might think me as an idiot for posting about my personal life here but i needed some support and advise.

My story - Came here on spouse visa about 6 months ago. We got married in july 2010. I came here in june. All these months so much has changed,I got to know he is having affair with two other women. He leaves me alone at home for weeks and says he is goin on official trip alone, but apparently he is with a "colleague". when i asked him totake me with him, after all he is renting a room and we both can stay but he declines. He never got my health insurance done, never took me for dmv, no bank account for me, no credit card, i am blocked from his facebook, he never or hardly calls from his 'trips". Never metions word "we" , "our" .He said he doesnt want kids for atleast 6 - 12 months , Infact he went outside USA for a month and he never called, never gave me any money , I am spending money my parents gave me.he expected me to stay at home for 30 days , he doesnt want me to work . We only go out once i two weeks, Usually he tries to buy grocery so i dont go with him.Never took me out alone for dinner, went thrice and his office female friend was with him , which i found out was dating him. If i called he had nothing to say. I am a pakistani girl , so our marriage was arranged , i love him. He doesnt love me, He is a liar , a bad one so his lies get caught by me. i have accepted this fact. So i have three options

I can go back to pakistan

I can stay living with him like this live under house arrest

or can i stay here if i leave him ?

I dont know about my right as permanent citizen .

I dont mind goung back but i donbt mind having options.

I dont feel like , am a part of his life. It will never matter to him if i am around or not.I dont wnat what to do , any suggestions will be appreciated.Please avoid leaving harsh comments. I am already hurt and i cant take rudeness

Edited October 5, 2012 by Hopelessgal

[Ning 619]

I know most of you might think me as an idiot for posting about my personal life here but i needed some support and advise.

My story - Came here on spouse visa about 6 months ago. We got married in july 2010. I came here in june. All these months so much has changed,I got to know he is having affair with two other women. He leaves me alone at home for weeks and says he is goin on official trip alone, but apparently he is with a "colleague". when i asked him totake me with him, after all he is renting a room and we both can stay but he declines. He never got my health insurance done, never took me for dmv, no bank account for me, no credit card, i am blocked from his facebook, he never or hardly calls from his 'trips". Never metions word "we" , "our" .He said he doesnt want kids for atleast 6 - 12 months , Infact he went outside USA for a month and he never called, never gave me any money , I am spending money my parents gave me.he expected me to stay at home for 30 days , he doesnt want me to work . We only go out once i two weeks, Usually he tries to buy grocery so i dont go with him.Never took me out alone for dinner, went thrice and his office female friend was with him , which i found out was dating him. If i called he had nothing to say. I am a pakistani girl , so our marriage was arranged , i love him. He doesnt love me, He is a liar , a bad one so his lies get caught by me. i have accepted this fact. So i have three options

I can go back to pakistan

I can stay living with him like this live under house arrest

or can i stay here if i leave him ?

I dont know about my right as permanent citizen .

I dont mind goung back but i donbt mind having options.

I dont feel like , am a part of his life. It will never matter to him if i am around or not.I dont wnat what to do , any suggestions will be appreciated.Please avoid leaving harsh comments. I am already hurt and i cant take rudeness

I am sorry to see this happen to you. Its a sad aspect of these arranged marriges.

Reading this I think what you need to do is simple yet difficult. You know this will never work out to benefit you. The past become the present while indicating the future.

Go back to a life you understand where you can find support.

You can stay with him but why would you do that? If you do, do not complain and prepare for this to get worse.

You can stay here and divorce him. That can be done but you will experiance a lot of pain for many months.

You are not a citizen. You are a legal permanent resident. Still you have certian rights under the laws.

See option # 1

[hamigirl710 112]

I am so sorry you are going throught this. Is there a local masjid in your area where you can go talk to the Imam or another sister in the congregation that can help you and they give you advise?

[Hopelessgal 4]

I am sorry to see this happen to you. Its a sad aspect of these arranged marriges.

Reading this I think what you need to do is simple yet difficult. You know this will never work out to benefit you. The past become the present while indicating the future.

Go back to a life you understand where you can find support.

You can stay with him but why would you do that? If you do, do not complain and prepare for this to get worse.

You can stay here and divorce him. That can be done but you will experiance a lot of pain for many months.

You are not a citizen. You are a legal permanent resident. Still you have certian rights under the laws.

See option # 1

Sorry i meant LPR. My parents are also suggesting me to come back if it goes like this

I am so sorry you are going throught this. Is there a local masjid in your area where you can go talk to the Imam or another sister in the congregation that can help you and they give you advise?

I am not sure, there must be one around . I am not familiar with area but i will try to llook

[Ning 619]

Sorry i meant LPR. My parents are also suggesting me to come back if it goes like this

I am not sure, there must be one around . I am not familiar with area but i will try to llook

In this case your parents know best. You are entitled to a certian level of respect. Seek that respect to allow yourself to be free. Use that freedom to find the right path in your life.

I dont know about Imams or some unknown " sister". I would question whether they know better than you do what should be done. They are motivated by a different understanding in thier advise I would think. They dont have to deal with this man or the pain he is inflicting on you. While you are trying to find these sages you will still be putting off what you need to do to preserve your self respect. There is no " if " in what I read in your story.

[Ontarkie 14,282]

~~~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits, from Moving Here and Your New Life In America ~~~~ This forum is better suited for your questions I hope you find all the answers you need to make the best choice for you. I am very sorry you are going through this and wish you the best.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Don't worry, we couldn't call you an idiot if we wanted to. That would be a personal attack and that's strictly against VJ's rules of conduct.

Fact is, you are being abused, and you are allowing yourself to be abused. It takes two to tango, is an old saying here in the Americas.

Clearly, you have no future with your husband, so you should end this chapter of your life as quickly and as orderly as possible. From your timeline I would deduct that you have to remove conditions soon. When does your Green Card expire?

[Hopelessgal 4]

I didnt have to do anything, i received a notice of annulment today. I had no idea it was coming

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Sign it, ask for the plane ticket back home, and tell him to off. It's not woth fighting, the US government will not use anything in it against you now or in the future.

Edited October 6, 2012 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[Ihavequestions 419]

Sign it, ask for the plane ticket back home, and tell him to off. It's not woth fighting, the US government will not use anything in it against you now or in the future.

The OP has started another thread and it appears the husband is claiming immigration fraud. Your advice is sound, however I think the fraud allegation is a game changer.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

The OP has started another thread and it appears the husband is claiming immigration fraud. Your advice is sound, however I think the fraud allegation is a game changer.

Nope people says all kind of things in a divorce, unless there is conceret evidence, the US government doesn't even care. Didn't she say it was an arranged marriage, so will she now say she was in love. She came because it was an arranged marriage.

This is what she should be doing right now :dance: :rofl: :rofl:

Edited October 6, 2012 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[Hopelessgal 4]

Nope people says all kind of things in a divorce, unless there is conceret evidence, the US government doesn't even care. Didn't she say it was an arranged marriage, so will she now say she was in love. She came because it was an arranged marriage.

This is what she should be doing right now :dance: :rofl: :rofl:

also i have clear history with no background .I dont have any loans, or accounts . It means i was living on my parents cash. Can i fight annulment to clear my name as fraudulent person which i am not. Can i apply for removal of conditions ? what can i do ? i will see a lawyer maybe on monday

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

also i have clear history with no background .I dont have any loans, or accounts . It means i was living on my parents cash. Can i fight annulment to clear my name as fraudulent person which i am not. Can i apply for removal of conditions ? what can i do ? i will see a lawyer maybe on monday

If you want a divorce so you can ROC, than see a lawyer and fight it.

[Hopelessgal 4]

If you want a divorce so you can ROC, than see a lawyer and fight it.

Thank you i cant thank you for replying me, i need some support and guidance and I had no where to go

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I know most of you might think me as an idiot for posting about my personal life here but i needed some support and advise.

My story - Came here on spouse visa about 6 months ago. We got married in july 2010. I came here in june. All these months so much has changed,I got to know he is having affair with two other women. He leaves me alone at home for weeks and says he is goin on official trip alone, but apparently he is with a "colleague". when i asked him totake me with him, after all he is renting a room and we both can stay but he declines. He never got my health insurance done, never took me for dmv, no bank account for me, no credit card, i am blocked from his facebook, he never or hardly calls from his 'trips". Never metions word "we" , "our" .He said he doesnt want kids for atleast 6 - 12 months , Infact he went outside USA for a month and he never called, never gave me any money , I am spending money my parents gave me.he expected me to stay at home for 30 days , he doesnt want me to work . We only go out once i two weeks, Usually he tries to buy grocery so i dont go with him.Never took me out alone for dinner, went thrice and his office female friend was with him , which i found out was dating him. If i called he had nothing to say. I am a pakistani girl , so our marriage was arranged , i love him. He doesnt love me, He is a liar , a bad one so his lies get caught by me. i have accepted this fact. So i have three options

I can go back to pakistan

I can stay living with him like this live under house arrest

or can i stay here if i leave him ?

I dont know about my right as permanent citizen .

I dont mind goung back but i donbt mind having options.

I dont feel like , am a part of his life. It will never matter to him if i am around or not.I dont wnat what to do , any suggestions will be appreciated.Please avoid leaving harsh comments. I am already hurt and i cant take rudeness

People, this should be unacceptables in any relationship, if the allegation is true.

Not sure if this is emotional abuse, hopefully Sandra can chime in.

OP, I am not pro divorce but I think in this situation, if you have embellished anything, is totally not right.

Good luck on your next steps.