Kids & Religion

[crazyinEgypt 0]

wow can I ask how old are your kids? Did you explain to them that you didn't change for your fiance or did you just tell them that phrase " mommy found the truth and wants to please god"?

Sarah, I didn't really have to explain this to my kids considering I converted before I had a fiance.

Youssef insists however that the new baby is Muslim and Mikhail too

That can be expected from any muslim parent I think.

My husband and I have agreed to be very open regarding both our religions while raising our children. Main thing is God is the center of our family regardless of being Christian or Muslim.

[melly 0]

My son was raised with no religion. His father doesn't believe in God.

I reverted to Islam back in June, but I don't expect my son to follow in my steps. If he learns about Islam and finds that it's for him, I'd be very pleased.

I talked with my fiance and asked if he'd be willing to explain some things about Islam/Allah to my son when my fiance finally gets here and he'd be more than happy to.

Any kids we have after we're married will be Muslim.

[sarah and hicham 3]

hi JP! Where are youuuuuuuuu?

JP where are you we need you here!

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

Their father has not called or seen them in almost two years so he basically has no contribution at all to any changes or other happenings in their lives.

so he does not pay child support then?

[Veiled Princess 1]

so he does not pay child support then?

Would it really be such a surprise if he didn't?

[Henia 11]

I raised my children as Catholic. I brought them to religious Ed up until this year when I converted. I'm torn on this issue a bit but it's getting better. As soon as I had my revelation of what I believe to be the truth, I could not wait because I knew that I would have to answer for why I hesitated.

My children are different though. I don't think they can be blamed for what they do not know. They see me praying and they know that I have converted. I have told them bits and pieces of my conversion and they want not part of it...so they say yet they peek in when I'm praying and i've seen my little one mimicking me in her room when she thinks I'm not watching.

My ex could care less. He never took them to church when I was a practicing Catholic and he is far from religious himself. He's too self centered to really care about what their little souls are all about. I still pray the Our Father with them because I don't see how that particular prayer goes against my beliefs. I told them that when they are older they can choose what they want to be but I think they're too young now to really grasp the whole idea of the theology behind Islam compared to Christianity. Heck I'm 40 and it was difficult for me!!!

My SO will treat them as his own I'm sure. Now every night one of the first questions is how are they. He knows what they do each day and asks about their tests/plays etc. He remembers more than my ex does about them. I really think the kids will get a kick out of helping him out with little things here like learning to write English better and teaching him about money. My oldest is psyched to take him to the mall and show him around.

I can totally understand your situation Doodle... it is very hard esp when the children are a bit older...and one converts to included them in your life change... I mean by a certain age they have their thinking...and as they become pre-teens and teenagers they set in rebelling...also even thou I am a Muslim, if my parents were to have convrted while I was 12-18 I donnot think Islam would have been appealing to me at all... and I say this, thinking as I did at that age... looking at all of Islam's rules..I would not have "gotten" them at all...but elhamdullah I did "get" Islam while in my 20s...

My family is alos Catholic and they are practising Catholics...even though I did not believe what they believe anymore, I do make efforts to be with them, when we are in the same country in their holidays and say amin when they make their "prayers"....and more to the point try my best to make dawah for them...let them see my example as a Muslim and explain the commonalites and differences when they ask.

My ex also was and is not religious at all. He is Muslim, and if you were to ask him...he would say he is a good Muslim. Allah only knows .... but I think I am definetaly more religious and spirtual then him. And our daughter's spiritual and religious life has come only from me...not him or his family. My ex I believe cares more that our daughter is a non-opinionated good housewife then a good Muslim... and since I have raised my daughter alone since she was 5months old and now I am married ...I could care less what my ex thinks.

I voted; I don't force my religion on my kids, I don't care what he thinks and he treats them like his own.

Both of my kids call themselves muslims since I converted but I'm one of those people who feel that small children below the age of reason/understanding/puberty/accountability/whatever you want to call it, are too young to choose any religion. I teach them about Islam and my son really gets it... he talks a lot about it... he's always been a very spiritual person and one to question me about God from the time he got the understanding that there is a higher power.

My daughter wears hijab sometimes to school... at first she was really into it.. I never told her to do it or anything she just decided she wanted to and insisted... she has almost completely given it up though because, even though she loves to wear it when we go out together and around the house and stuff, the kids at school call her ugly and old woman and it hurt her feelings so she doesn't ask to wear it in the mornings to school anymore Kids can be so mean... it's not their fault.

They both call themselfs praying with me... they stand behind me and mimic my movements though they don't know all the words.

Their dad is Catholic but he doesn't practice... heck I'm not sure he remembers some times

He hates my religion and he hates that the kids love it... when I went to Egypt I let him stay at my house with the kids because he whined to me that he didn't have anywhere to keep the kids.... I came back and everything Islam or Arabic in the house was gone.... books, movies, games, tapes/CDs/, kids toys... my daughter had some Barbie dolls and a Farah doll that came with hijabs and he let her keep the dolls but threw away all their headscarves. I was pretty hot about that but what could I do? He has also stopped paying any child support at all since then (a year ago) because he says I use his money to buy that stuff and he wants to make sure I don't have one extra dime to my name to buy anything It's OK coz he really didn't pay it often before then anyway.

My husband (now) hasn't met my kids IRL yet because I can't take them out of the country but he talks to them on the phone and on Yahoo all the time. They love him and he sends them gifts and they send him pictures they colored and stuff like that. He asks about them all the time and I can tell he really cares about them. They started calling him "Daddy Yousuf" one day and I broke down in tears and he's been Daddy Yousuf ever since. They are very excited about him coming home soon but I don't keep them updated on the visa process because anytime I tell them something they think that means he'll be here tomorrow

Elhamdullah your kids and Yousef get along so well...Layla ...I can understand your situation..pretty similar to mine. My husband now, Ahmed is a much better example of what a human, Muslim,man, husband,father, friend should be...then my ex was. My husband calls my daughter his"daughter" and actually calls *her* and also my family in HU to talk to them. This really made a big impression on me and my family. It instantly bonded us more... and elhamdullah my family (they are not muslims) are seeing what a *real* Muslim and man is like... elhamdullah finally they are breaking their bad image of Muslims and MENA people.

My mum actually the last time my husband called her, asked him what is hus fav colour...she wants to knit him a sweater for the winter. Also my husband wants ultimately to convince my mum to live with us...he is very family oriented!

[Veiled Princess 1]

Also my husband wants ultimately to convince my mum to live with us...he is very family oriented!

Same with Yousuf

[Becky&Sam 0]

Their father has not called or seen them in almost two years so he basically has no contribution at all to any changes or other happenings in their lives.

so he does not pay child support then?

Sporadically. He is in trouble right now with State of TExas for nonpayment or not paying regularly. He was in Jail just this past summer for nonpayment, but still is not paying regularly. It is very sad for my kids and financial burden for us too. He originally was paying and then just stopped over two years ago so created a big mess with my budget and living exp.

He has ruined his relationship with his children over all of this. Its very sad situation.

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

so he does not pay child support then?

Would it really be such a surprise if he didn't?

not every ex husband is a deadbeat dad

[Veiled Princess 1]

so he does not pay child support then?

Would it really be such a surprise if he didn't?

not every ex husband is a deadbeat dad

That's true but it doesn't make it rare either

[Becky&Sam 0]

so he does not pay child support then?

Would it really be such a surprise if he didn't?

not every ex husband is a deadbeat dad

That's true but it doesn't make it rare either

Well this ex is definitely in the deadbeat dad category.

[ya falaha! 0]

Alhamdulillah this is not an issue.

[doodlebug 3]

Even though my ex is a royal pain the behind, I am very lucky that he has always paid the child support ontime. He doesn't pay what he should but at least he pays enough to help. He owns his own business and takes a lot under the table. I could expose it but then there would go the gravy train. For now it's fine and I'm not in need of anything so I just go along with whatever he gives me.

I feel so bad for the moms here where the situation is that he doesn't pay and doesn't help out with the kids. I would have jumped off a cliff years ago if he didn't take them for every other weekend!

[ya falaha! 0]

My ex and I have joint custody. He doesn't pay and neither do I. We share equal time and financial responsibility (well actually he does more in that department). We didn't feel the need to get courts involved in our life. We are all much happier that way.

[honeyblonde 0]

My sons are both over 20, so their relationship with Abdel is a little different. Abdel respects that they have a dad and in no way tries to replace him (except that he's much more responsible and offered to pay my youngest's tuition so he could go to college after his dad had lied to him and didn't come through at the last minute the year before). Abdel prefers to be just good friends with them, but he is always looking out for them. If we go to dinner and either of them is home he insists that we invite them and he worries about them a lot. He's a way better dad to them than their father ever was without even trying to be one!