Kids & Religion

[jordanianprincess 0]

So just wondering about how previous children play into your relationships and change of religion if there was one. I tried to think of all the possible answers, if I forgot any then please just put your answers in your post.

[sarah and hicham 3]

ooh good poll JP!

I don't have kids and I was never previously married but ideally if I was previously married and I did have kids I would let them choose their path with religion. My parents took that route with my brother and myself and I appreciate it a lot! Oh my parents were never divorced though.

Anyways, if I was a teenager and my Mom or Dad got remarried then converted religions and tried to make me convert and maybe even say wear hijab I would be PISSED especially if either parent wanted me to because of their new spouse's beliefs. It's like if my Mom got remarried and her new husband told me how to dress and gave me lots of rules I would say no way you can't just marry my Mom and expect to treat me like your own daughter... not cool .

I'll elaborate later I'm too tired now bye!

[Donna A 4]

i wont even convert to my husbands religion so i wouldnt expect my daughter to either. converting to be just like my husband is stupid.

ive watched my best friend do it and for what? just to fit in. aint worth my place i already have reserved in heaven just to fit in. now she is divorsed she ripped that covering off as fast as she can and is back to her old self. u cant change who u are just for another person...u are who u are. u cant play the roll all u want but whats inside is the real u.

Edited October 28, 2006 by donnaal

[doodlebug 3]

I raised my children as Catholic. I brought them to religious Ed up until this year when I converted. I'm torn on this issue a bit but it's getting better. As soon as I had my revelation of what I believe to be the truth, I could not wait because I knew that I would have to answer for why I hesitated.

My children are different though. I don't think they can be blamed for what they do not know. They see me praying and they know that I have converted. I have told them bits and pieces of my conversion and they want not part of it...so they say yet they peek in when I'm praying and i've seen my little one mimicking me in her room when she thinks I'm not watching.

My ex could care less. He never took them to church when I was a practicing Catholic and he is far from religious himself. He's too self centered to really care about what their little souls are all about. I still pray the Our Father with them because I don't see how that particular prayer goes against my beliefs. I told them that when they are older they can choose what they want to be but I think they're too young now to really grasp the whole idea of the theology behind Islam compared to Christianity. Heck I'm 40 and it was difficult for me!!!

My SO will treat them as his own I'm sure. Now every night one of the first questions is how are they. He knows what they do each day and asks about their tests/plays etc. He remembers more than my ex does about them. I really think the kids will get a kick out of helping him out with little things here like learning to write English better and teaching him about money. My oldest is psyched to take him to the mall and show him around.

[~Jess~ 0]

My son doesnt live with us and he is really to young to have his own say about which religion he will choose, i never forced anything on him. Its not really a big deal to his father if we were to 'convert' him to Catholic when the day comes that he does live with us. neither of us are very religious and my ex certainly isnt. George treats him as his own but keeps his limits so he doesnt upset Daemians father.

[Veiled Princess 1]

I voted; I don't force my religion on my kids, I don't care what he thinks and he treats them like his own.

Both of my kids call themselves muslims since I converted but I'm one of those people who feel that small children below the age of reason/understanding/puberty/accountability/whatever you want to call it, are too young to choose any religion. I teach them about Islam and my son really gets it... he talks a lot about it... he's always been a very spiritual person and one to question me about God from the time he got the understanding that there is a higher power.

My daughter wears hijab sometimes to school... at first she was really into it.. I never told her to do it or anything she just decided she wanted to and insisted... she has almost completely given it up though because, even though she loves to wear it when we go out together and around the house and stuff, the kids at school call her ugly and old woman and it hurt her feelings so she doesn't ask to wear it in the mornings to school anymore Kids can be so mean... it's not their fault.

They both call themselfs praying with me... they stand behind me and mimic my movements though they don't know all the words.

Their dad is Catholic but he doesn't practice... heck I'm not sure he remembers some times

He hates my religion and he hates that the kids love it... when I went to Egypt I let him stay at my house with the kids because he whined to me that he didn't have anywhere to keep the kids.... I came back and everything Islam or Arabic in the house was gone.... books, movies, games, tapes/CDs/, kids toys... my daughter had some Barbie dolls and a Farah doll that came with hijabs and he let her keep the dolls but threw away all their headscarves. I was pretty hot about that but what could I do? He has also stopped paying any child support at all since then (a year ago) because he says I use his money to buy that stuff and he wants to make sure I don't have one extra dime to my name to buy anything It's OK coz he really didn't pay it often before then anyway.

My husband (now) hasn't met my kids IRL yet because I can't take them out of the country but he talks to them on the phone and on Yahoo all the time. They love him and he sends them gifts and they send him pictures they colored and stuff like that. He asks about them all the time and I can tell he really cares about them. They started calling him "Daddy Yousuf" one day and I broke down in tears and he's been Daddy Yousuf ever since. They are very excited about him coming home soon but I don't keep them updated on the visa process because anytime I tell them something they think that means he'll be here tomorrow

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

Thankfully, Ryan is a Christian. So, no worries there. Oh yeah, we don't have any kids of our own or together. So, now worries there either. We want to raise our children in a Christian up-bringing from day one.

Edited October 28, 2006 by Mandi

[Aymerlu 3]

Neither one of us force religion on my kids. They know I'm a Christian and my husband is Muslim and we leave it at that. We will let them decide for themselves. Khallid treats my kids as his own and they love him.....even call him dad! As far as my ex, he's a dead beat, so I don't care what he thinks!

[Veiled Princess 1]

I wanted to add that I didn't convert because I got married and had actually already converted before we were engaged. Me and my kids don't look at it like mommy got married and changed her religion just that mommy found the truth and wants to please God.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I wanted to add that I didn't convert because I got married and had actually already converted before we were engaged. Me and my kids don't look at it like mommy got married and changed her religion just that mommy found the truth and wants to please God.

wow can I ask how old are your kids? Did you explain to them that you didn't change for your fiance or did you just tell them that phrase " mommy found the truth and wants to please god"?

[sarah and hicham 3]

hi JP!

[MrsAmera 41]

My son is 2 1/2 so I guess he's really too young to "choose". He was baptized Christian and he still is able to go with grandma and grandpa to church or whatever. But I think that because he has lived almost half his life now in a Muslim household that there really won't be much forcing. He prays with us and obviously lives the same kind of lifestyle (food etc.). I would let him choose whatever he wants as he gets older and feel the same way for our other soon to be son - Youssef insists however that the new baby is Muslim and Mikhail too....we'll see how that goes when they get old enough to ask questions!

[Veiled Princess 1]

wow can I ask how old are your kids? Did you explain to them that you didn't change for your fiance or did you just tell them that phrase " mommy found the truth and wants to please god"?

Sarah, I didn't really have to explain this to my kids considering I converted before I had a fiance.

Youssef insists however that the new baby is Muslim and Mikhail too

That can be expected from any muslim parent I think.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Most Muslims seem to be unaware that God wills more than one path for us among the many. He has prescribed diversity of faith, and since He is the spiritual guide to us all, there is no predictablity in deciding what your children, or even you, will believe, only wishful thinking. The rest is up to God.

[Becky&Sam 0]

Most Muslims seem to be unaware that God wills more than one path for us among the many. He has prescribed diversity of faith, and since He is the spiritual guide to us all, there is no predictablity in deciding what your children, or even you, will believe, only wishful thinking. The rest is up to God.

I voted, but Sam and I are both Christian and my children are Christian. I know many here are with someone whose faith is different than theirs, but for me I wouldn't choose this path. It would be a very difficult one I think.

Sam isn't here yet, but has established a relationship with my children through internet and webcam, phone conversations. I would have loved to take them with me to visit when I went to Egypt, but just wasn't financially possible for us then. They are very excited, nervous, curious about his arrival here and what it will be like for them once here is here physically as part of our family. My kids are 13 and 12 so have more understanding of cultural differences and the difficult things and wonderful things about it. They look forward to our trip to Egypt together as a family hopefully in a year or two.

Their father has not called or seen them in almost two years so he basically has no contribution at all to any changes or other happenings in their lives.