Abusive Husband

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

wow...the guy's a complete sex freak. thats blackmail, i consider it emotional abuse. i wish the best for your friend. no woman should be treated like a sex toy

[madtownguy 164]

I'd like to play devils advocate on this one. If she came here for him why would she want to stay? If I moved to another country for a girl and we broke up I would move back near my family. I think their are times were girls could make this up once they get here, I have to imagine most the time they do not get their green card. The guy isn't a good guy, but I'm guessing there were signs before hand. Normal guys do not want their wives to get multiple piercings, that's something stupid kids do that don't know what they want in life. I think she should definitely get out of the situation, but with how little she's lived here I think it's wrong that she stays he should pay the ticket back.

[tamara143 1]

I don't think there's a need for you to stay here in the US if you feel that you're not safe and you don't have any family to live with. I've been in an abusive relationship after two years of being married to my ex-husband. Believe me those two years were miserable and unbearable for me. I always gave him the benefit of the doubt. Lucky you, you came out immediately of the situation. I don't know you're friend's background (family, educational, financial, etc). just to let you know, i had a master's and bsc degrees but when i came here to the usa, they were useless. it took me almost 4 years of struggles, rejections, in order to get back to where i am now. a lot of counseling, money were spent for immigration fees and lawyers I had spent just to come out of this situation. it's only by God's grace that I was able to revive myself from that traumatic experience. there's a possibility that her case will be denied by the immigration (since it's only 90 days frame) unless her abusive relationship was properly documented. there should be police reports, records of her 911 calls, psychological reports and other stuff that could support that she was indeed abused. she needs to pray and decide to where she really would like to be. acquiring a US greencard IS NOT and WILL NEVER be the answer to her own happiness. That's all I can say.

Edited October 3, 2012 by tamara143

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

I'd like to play devils advocate on this one. If she came here for him why would she want to stay? If I moved to another country for a girl and we broke up I would move back near my family. I think their are times were girls could make this up once they get here, I have to imagine most the time they do not get their green card. The guy isn't a good guy, but I'm guessing there were signs before hand. Normal guys do not want their wives to get multiple piercings, that's something stupid kids do that don't know what they want in life. I think she should definitely get out of the situation, but with how little she's lived here I think it's wrong that she stays he should pay the ticket back.

This I agree with wholeheartedly and those that are throwing right to stay around leaves me amazed.

[loveoneanother 0]

Babe, please tell your friend to go to the post office and open po box $35 for 6months, she can still pay for 1yr or more if she has the money, then let her call uscis and change her mailing address to po box, she is entitle to have two addresses, residential and mailing address..I am using my po box to receive any of my mail..just work in the post office at your convenient time with your key, open the box and pick your mail...next time you might have that kind of conversation just use your phone to record the threatening as much as well video it too..it will help as evidence..if she think that she can't settle with the guy again just go with infopass appointment ..I feel her situation...goodluck baby

[InHisTime 110]

This I agree with wholeheartedly and those that are throwing right to stay around leaves me amazed.

I understand what you mean, but I think beneficiaries have the right to stay in the US if after the relationship didn't work out with the petitioners especially the ones who came to the US in good faith. Of course, they should have acquired legal stay, if not, it is advisable they come back home. There are beneficiaries who still want to continue life in America on their own -- we never knew they might have already resigned from their jobs or sell properties before going to the US. There are those also would be better to come home as they would have better situation. So we never know what everyone is going through. I think they have the right to stay in the US for good reasons and move forward in life. Important they aren't fraud and have done their best efforts in working on the relationship. I guess this is one reason the USCIS also tries to give protection to beneficiary-immigrant because there are also abusive USCs like taking advantage of the need of the immigrants to acquire legal stay. As always there are good and bad ones. Life has to go on despite of challenges in life. And no one has the right to stop anyone as long he / she is doing the right thing or mean doing legally and not manipulating. We all have rights to live peacefully and happily on earth. God bless everyone!

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

I'd like to play devils advocate on this one. If she came here for him why would she want to stay? If I moved to another country for a girl and we broke up I would move back near my family. I think their are times were girls could make this up once they get here, I have to imagine most the time they do not get their green card. The guy isn't a good guy, but I'm guessing there were signs before hand. Normal guys do not want their wives to get multiple piercings, that's something stupid kids do that don't know what they want in life. I think she should definitely get out of the situation, but with how little she's lived here I think it's wrong that she stays he should pay the ticket back.

OFF TOPIC: that's what stupid kidz have? well i'm sorry but i really think i'm far from a stupid kid, yes i have multiple piercings, teaching degree and university so how am i supposed to be a stupid kid? i will take personal, because i don't think is fair and right for you to say BS like that about people with piercings.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

OFF TOPIC: that's what stupid kidz have? well i'm sorry but i really think i'm far from a stupid kid, yes i have multiple piercings, teaching degree and university so how am i supposed to be a stupid kid? i will take personal, because i don't think is fair and right for you to say BS like that about people with piercings.

MTG is entitled to his opinion as does you and he never called you a stupid kid so relax.

[beth 4]

Hi! I hope your friend is alright and safe. I was a victim of Domestic Violence too 2009. I left my husband 1 month before my 2 year green card expire. We have 11 month old daughter that time. I have to leave my ex-husband because he has other woman too and the verbal and humilating was too much already and thinking I might do something that I might regret... Before I left the Philippines I remember we went for a day of Seminar for Domestic Abuse and I called the 1800 number the office from Manila gave me. To make story short I end up in a Domestic Violence Shelter (Florida). I suggest if she can call a Domestic Abuse hotline number this will give her all the information (all her Basic Rights as immigrant). By the way, I got my 10 year green card while in the shelter and Visa Fee Waived (I think its almost 750 dollars). Got food stamp and medicaid for my daughter. Happy Ending...now I'm happily married and my daughter is 4 years old we have our own house, car and I end up working as a Domestic Violence and Rape Victims Advocate in Florida. Just tell her don't be afraid theres help (Church people are great help too, go online and google Domestic Abuse hotline).

[beth 4]

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.7233

City of Chicago Domestic Violence Helpline: 1.877.863.6338

Womenspace National Network to End Violence Against immigrant Women

Phone: 609-394-0136

24 Hour Mercer County Hotline: 609-394-9000

Fax:609-396-1093

Email: info@womenspace.org

RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE and the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline at rainn.org . This nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape crisis centers provides victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services, 24 hours per day, 7 days per week. These hotlines have helped over 1.3 million people since RAINN's founding in 1994.

[InHisTime 110]

Hi! I hope your friend is alright and safe. I was a victim of Domestic Violence too 2009. I left my husband 1 month before my 2 year green card expire. We have 11 month old daughter that time. I have to leave my ex-husband because he has other woman too and the verbal and humilating was too much already and thinking I might do something that I might regret... Before I left the Philippines I remember we went for a day of Seminar for Domestic Abuse and I called the 1800 number the office from Manila gave me. To make story short I end up in a Domestic Violence Shelter (Florida). I suggest if she can call a Domestic Abuse hotline number this will give her all the information (all her Basic Rights as immigrant). By the way, I got my 10 year green card while in the shelter and Visa Fee Waived (I think its almost 750 dollars). Got food stamp and medicaid for my daughter. Happy Ending...now I'm happily married and my daughter is 4 years old we have our own house, car and I end up working as a Domestic Violence and Rape Victims Advocate in Florida. Just tell her don't be afraid theres help (Church people are great help too, go online and google Domestic Abuse hotline).

Hi beth, thanks for posting, glad to read about your story. I hope others especially ladies from Philippines, who are experiencing similar situation would have the courage to fight for their rights. As long you are telling the truth and doing the right thing and not FRAUD, please don't hesitate to ask for help by calling the number posted by Ms. Beth. The US government I think is very fair in treating cases like this. Don't allow yourself to settle for less. Hold on your prayers and God will give you light!

[Tahoma 2,292]

MTG is entitled to his opinion as does you and he never called you a stupid kid so relax.

To anyone with minimal reading comprehension skills, his stereotype included DeeDee, so please don't play semantic games.

By the way, where did DeeDee say that he's not entitled to his opinion, as you imply?

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

To anyone with minimal reading comprehension skills, his stereotype included DeeDee, so please don't play semantic games.

By the way, where did DeeDee say that he's not entitled to his opinion, as you imply?

This is not about The Gowon.

I hope the OP is getting the help needed.

[DeeDee&Sam 68]

MTG is entitled to his opinion as does you and he never called you a stupid kid so relax.

LOL. "Normal guys do not want their wives to get multiple piercings, that's something stupid kids do that don't know what they want in life.". based on that part of the message it seems i'm a stupid kid who doesn't know what she wants in life. basically, he did call me a stupid kid, without calling me one. i'm entiteled to opinions too. they can say whatever, i can surely say THAT IS WRONG. end of story.

[bjmyrnajourney 1]

Thank you everyone for the reply. she just had her vawa approved this week and a lot of people helping her. thanks again please no fighting lol