Issue with late-stage abortion...

[summertom 0]

Okay, please do not judge as this is a complex situation.

Basically, my fiance and I had a period of a few months where we separated and she was going through a lot of problems and basically slept with a friend. Who, as it turned out, purposely took off his condom without telling her and impregnated her, because at the end of the day he hated the "gringo" (me). Then he forced her to have a relationship with him or he would tell me about the pregnancy, but of course eventually she told me anyways.

Now she wants to do an abortion in Colombia which, you know, may not be so legal (it is legal in the case of rape). It's pretty late-stage (my guess is 6 months). The other consideration is to have the baby, but the baby would never come to the U.S. with us and would essentially grow up with my fiance's mother and we would financially support it. This is all sounds absurd, but this is the bind we are in. I made it clear to here she can do whatever she feels is best for her, but there's no way I am taking that baby into my direct care, ever.

If she performs the abortion, I wonder if a.) The man who impregnated her, who very much knows she is pregnant and knows the hospital where she had her test done, could somehow start a criminal investigation against her (obviously leading her to not have clean police records, etc). It's important to note that no one officially knows he is the father, so I am wondering whether that sort of thing could happen, he comes into the police station and says, "Hey, I impregnated this girl, you can check hospital records that she was pregnant, but now the baby is nowhere to be found. Investigate her!" Could it work like that? b.) What would she do during her medical exam? If she admits to the abortion, will she automatically fail the test when they find no official record of the abortion? Or do they not care to go into that detail? Could she get away with not mentioning it at all?

Someone please give honest advice. To be honest, I am leaning towards her having the baby. I would rather have that happen then take the risk of her running into legal problems, not to mention risk to her own health. On the other hand, that baby is going to have a horrible life in this world. Open to any suggestions. Thank you.

[Krikit 1,165]

I cannot imagine any circumstance where a six month pregnancy would be terminated. It would not be an abortion, it would be a live birth. You cannot even begin to imagine the bond between mother and child, so I would guess that, once she has given birth, the odds are against her abandoning her child.

And, lastly, lying to obtain a visa to the United States is always a bad decision.

[Juliepierre 6]

How is he going to prove that he is the father of that baby? There is no DNA proof.

I don't think that someone can have an abortion on the 6th month. She can bring the baby in the US and give it for adoption... Don't be cruel.

[summertom 0]

How is he going to prove that he is the father of that baby? There is no DNA proof.

I don't think that someone can have an abortion on the 6th month. She can bring the baby in the US and give it for adoption... Don't be cruel.

Could she give it up for adoption in Colombia without the other parent's consent? (Well, would she be able to do so in Colombia?) Also, even if he is not the father, he is someone who could connect the dots together as in 1) this woman was pregnant 2) but baby does not exist.

[summertom 0]

Okay, follow up question:

1.) Are medical exams for K1 performed by U.S. doctors?

2.) If she was just to say that yes, she had an abortion, would they ask when? At what stage? Why? Where?

Abortion is not illegal in the U.S., so if the doctor is U.S. and she is going to the U.S., I am not seeing how it could be grounds for denial... right?

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

A six month pregnancy cannot be terminated. If it is done, than it is really a case of murder. I am sure in any country a mother can abandon her child. Why don't the mother just hand the child over to the natural father and move on with her life.

What this woman needs to think about is what will her life be like after she has made all of these bad decisions.

[nurse1967 287]

A 6 month abortion is flat out murder. Hope you both can live with yourselves after such a horrific act.

Edited October 1, 2012 by Betsy El Sum

[Thomas&Cleofe 358]

You say the child would have a horrible life....

You are not thinking about the child....you are only thinking about the easiest way out for you.

Have you thought about what a "horrible death" it would be???

This child is nearly old enough now to live on it's own, but you would consider stopping this child's beating heart....

my mind is spinning thinking about how inhumane this is...

[Juliepierre 6]

I don't know about the adoption laws in Columbia but she should be able to give the baby; you need to take into consideration that this is her baby, and she the one that has to decide about this baby's future.

Why would you get bothered if the father finds out..... I mean: you don't want this baby?!

If the mother WANTS to give this baby away then, it would be better for the kid to be adopted by an American family; there are better chances for that poor thing finding a better home.

You are taking about a child's life, would you like someone to do that to your child? And this is the baby of the woman you love!

So,... If she decides to give away her own child, what makes you thing that she wont leave you....

Just saying!

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Okay, follow up question:

1.) Are medical exams for K1 performed by U.S. doctors?

2.) If she was just to say that yes, she had an abortion, would they ask when? At what stage? Why? Where?

Abortion is not illegal in the U.S., so if the doctor is U.S. and she is going to the U.S., I am not seeing how it could be grounds for denial... right?

Just to answer your questions,

The medical exams are performed by doctors who are residence in Colombuia, paid by the US govt. The doctors generally are citizen of the country they are working in.

Abortion will not be grounds for a denial, but murder will be.

[winnie george 67]

Please for the Love of God ADVICE her not to do an abortion, she just has 3 months to go..... If she goes for it, her life will be in danger too

The baby is already formed at 6 months

You both will regret it if she gets one, for a second do not think about yourselves and your interest let her think about the bundle of joy she will bring into this world

Alot of people out there are crying everyday because they cant have kids, and she wants to abort hers

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let her not do it

If both of you do actually have a heart, abortion shouldn't be in your minds or something you consider doing

Edited October 1, 2012 by winnie george

[Penny Lane 8,159]

I am absolutely pro-choice, but 6 months is too late. If she wanted an abortion, she should have done it months and months ago. Time to deal with the consequences.

What kind of adult takes out their hatred for another man on a child?

You have issues. The visa sounds like the least of them.

[QueenE 174]

Also if ends a pregnancy because of you, she will deep down hate you forever! She's been feeling that baby kick and move for months now! A feeling that brought tears to me cause of this overwhelming feeling of joy and love. I couldnt imagine someone at that point telling me anything that would harm my baby without me coming for blood!

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Can I ask that we don't turn this post into an 32 page of hate and despite posting. Let's just give him facts and hope that the two shall review their relationship and move on.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

This thread should likely be locked. Can't ask a question like this and not expect an emotional response.