U-visa certification

[SingleDad2usc 71]

You're correct in that I have to address my own and my children's troubles, not my wife's. She's been of no help to me or children for years

[SingleDad2usc 71]

So I'm just trying to figure out which one is easier for VSC:

1. bare-boned affidavit ending in wife's assault prosecution 2003-2004 OR

2. much longer affidavit that includes what transpires behind the scenes, why her phone threats are credible, and how I'm putting them aside

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Are you saying Canada "rejected" the children's citizenship "due to medical"?

No. HE is rejecting the idea because he believes the clean (but cold) air in Canada is worse for the asthmatic child than the polluted and cold NYC. Having never taken said child to Canada this is purely conjecture. He assumes that the asthma is made worse by the cold alone, and not also aggravated by pollution of NYC.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Asthma is only one item. He had 5 birth defects, nowadays attributed to pregnancy Prozac. His diagnosis list is long. He starts to shiver and may seize up. Some of the issues may improve post-pubecent, I hope.

Another misinterpretation here was that I've had child protective case over 10 years. In fact, the case which is still under mother's name, has been converted from protective to preventive - as soon as court-ordered supervision ended in 2005, and I was awarded Final Order of Custody. The preventive case remains open to guarantee, among other things, that Jr. is never subjected to cold. A certified homemaker is sent to the house daily to help with safe goings to and from school.

Now, since we took some time to wash the laundry, I want to give people one lesson I learned hard. Judges know what they are doing, lawyers - not always; or may be prevented by outside forces to do their best for you. When Judge was ready to dispose of the neglect case in 2004, one of his instructions to lawyers was to ensure legal residence. There were 4 younger lawyers working on the case: Law Guardian, my court-appointed attorney, my wife's court-appointed attorney and a lawyer for Child Protective Services. In the end, they managed to cook up the agreement under which the case against me was dismissed with one year court-ordered supervision and the case against my wife was outright dismissed. My first reaction was: you must be shxxting me. My lawyer says: you got what you wanted - children are about to be discharged to you. What do you care re: your wife; she hasn't appeared for the last six hearings, she has no interest, her lawyer is asking to be excused, even he has no contact with her. As long as this Judge is alive, she'll have no access to the children. And I signed off. None of those lawyers considered the Judge's previous instruction: to ensure legal residence. Final agreement was presented to Judge outside of any court date, and there was no one to discuss this.

What I hear for the first time eight years later: Child Protective Services had it within their powers to provide me U-visa certification. All they had to do was not move for dismissal against my wife, and to recognize my co-operation. Even now, if they wanted to bring Termination of Mother's Rights, U-visa certification by them can also be issued. But of course they have no desire to do the right thing.

So in sum: I have four paths to legal residence under US legislature. And VJ is flooded with members, who mark POPULAR posts advocating Nazi-style experiments on sick children and giving up U.S. citizen children into the care of the state. Safe for just a few knowledgeable members, god bless them

[rade2rising 205]

this is very informative topic

[belinda63 3,038]

I believe the Judge's instructions for legal residence referred to you taking steps to obtain legal residence, not the family court attorney who has no knowledge of immigration procedures, to obtain legal residence for you. Or perhaps the Judge, who is not a Federal Immigration Judge, innocently thought it would be easy for you to obtain legal residence.

So let me put it this way

1. You chose to come to the U.S. and overstay.

2. You chose to help in the conception/birth of two children on U.S. soil knowing you had no legal status here.

3. You chose to remain in the U.S for more than 14 years out of status, fully knowing what limits that placed on you.

4. You risk your children every single day by remaining here out of status, subject to detention, yet you seem to have no problem with that risk to them.

5. You continue to complain how fragile your children are but you admitted to taking the multiple times per year on trips up and down the East Coast picking up families and going to Disney Land. Doesn't sound too fragile to me.

These are all choices you made, the only person responsible for them is yourself, please stop blaming social services, your wife, the doctors, the government, and everyone else and please stop using your kids as an excuse for your illegal status.

Edited October 3, 2012 by belinda63

[SingleDad2usc 71]

I don't want to be replying, as your aim is not helping but de-railing. However, what's happening: you disseminate information that others view as truthful - and in the end you hurt people who value VJ website for advice.

That Family Court Judge has served over 30 years on the bench, and has written books on family and children situations. His decision on my children's case should not be questioned by anyone. Now, he addressed my wife's attorney, as soon as my wife's stopped coming to hearings - telling him to contact her and ask her to help her husband's status, because he was told "she had status". That's all that Judge knew. In later hearings, wife's court-assigned attorney asked to be excused - as he "couldn't get in touch with client". Judge still instructed all attorneys present as to what his wishes were for disposition. Whether he figured out that the Agency was aiming to arrange private adoption, or for other reason that only he knew, he threatened Child Protective Services to fine them $1,000/day for any extra time beyond set date of children's discharge into father's care.

The current status of my family was not chosen by me. I will always cherish the three years of our married life together, with all the joy and pain they were filled. I believe that, despite my wife's appalling transgressions, the right approach could have straightened her out; if it were not for the Agency's tactics of purposely separating us from the moment they got first call. They made no bones of having zero interest in saving (or helping) the family. Faced with Judge's wrath, they told me point blank - we are releasing the children, but if I have any ideas ever of trying to re-habilitate my wife, they will make sure I lose the children. I loathe single parenthood. I wish no one to be in the position of undocumented, with no work authorization. I wish no one to have to take care of small children over 3,000 nights single-handed, and have to administer medications over 12,000 times to date. I wish no one have their best lifetime friend die, when you asked him to fill in for you on the morning of 9/11, because your wife wouldn't take care of the colicky baby. I do wish someone to be able to contribute the way I had, and take families who could never afford it otherwise to Disneyworld. And I wish this website fills up with humanity

[belinda63 3,038]

There is nothing left to derail, you have your proof of marriage, your proof of joint residence, your proof of VAWA, and your proof of good moral character, what I don't understand is why you haven't filed yet. Now you are waiting to see if this attorney will take your case pro-bono....fair enough, but I don't really think there is anything else anyone here can offer to help you with your case.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

u actually did come up with some relevant thoughts and links. Again, a lawyer doesn't write the affidavit - a client does. I have to decide whether to stop at 2003-2004 "qualifying event", OR to write twice as much - and risk RFE for mental harm. The only reason to continue affidavit with 2004-2012 craziness would be to avoid risk of a question of "qualifying status", i.e. still married. Is that risk present?

[Boiler 45,486]

A lawyer would be responsible. For the overall compilation.

Whoever it is decided contributes individual elements.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

I don't know how much time I'll get with pro-bono lawyer. I also don't know the extent of her current involvement with VAWA unit. My impression is her case experience is more on cross-border criminal cases than on real family situations like mine.

Even the skimpy 2000-2003 affidavit took up the entire appointment time to read. If I compose twice as much, and all around 2004-2012 events that do not cue to a VAWA case with hard official evidence - I'm sure to use my time allotment inefficiently. I should only involve all this if absolutely necessary - and I can't figure out if it is. VAWA is dubious on definition of married life. The abuse will not be recognized, if it occurred right after separation. On the other hand, VAWA is allowed to be filed even if you haven't lived under the same roof for years - as long as marriage has not been dissolved. And how do I prove that negative?

Edited October 3, 2012 by SingleDad2usc

[SingleDad2usc 71]

So the update is: I finally have a pro-bono attorney who is helpful. In NYC, everything like this is nowadays handled thru "Family Justice Center". It takes a while to get a first appointment with a law firm you pick from their list. I went with the best name I saw on the list - but over a months following the first appointment was eventually told that they don't have the capacity to take the case. They did help to re-schedule me with another firm, who finally took the case. Both of them were saying the same thing: that I had multiple paths available to me for legalization, and that whoever over the years advised differently - was not true friend of my family's. For them, as pro-bono, the only problem was that I've had so much evidence accummulated (barely fits in a huge wheel-bag, which I have to take to each appointment), and so many qualifying ways to apply - that they had to decide their time-efficiency to help me. Well, to first attorney's credit: she obtained the entire ACS file (it was so huge, all her attempts to e-mail it to me ran into size constraint) and she also requested from DA office U-visa certification, just in case I decide to use it in the future. She said, however, that given 2003-2004 criminal case has long been archived outside of the building - it may take another 3 months to receive certification. She said when it comes, she'll mail it to me.

The new firm (not sure if they've handled too many VAWA) treats my case admirably, giving me as many appointments as it takes to finally file, which should be achieved right before Xmas break. Good character certificate (One Police Plaza charges $30 and takes 10 biz days) will be available for pick-up 12/20, and case can go to Vermont that day. Sealed certificates of dismissal of all criminal court cases against me were available instantly and free from court-house window.

So working now with the attorney on Affidavit, which he says is(!) the most important evidence. I was surprised, given a wheelbag of official evidence. But he is against sending "the wheelbag" in. He says an officer would hate me for this. He is also against sending a single photo in: he says officers don't like photos as evidence of anything, be that bona-fide marriage or abuse.

He wants to send bare bones in:

1. Marriage Certificates

2. Just a couple of pieces showing common addresses

3. Just those pages of paper ACS files that are loud and clear

4. All police reports, orders of protection and court papers

5. Copy of her Asylum Granted letter of 2002, bearing her A number.

6. Affidavit clearly addressing: how we met, how she first moved in, married, how we moved a few times in the US, how she first went sour toward me and then to each baby, details of each false arrest she put me thru, details of assault she pleaded guilty to 120.00, details of phone threats over the following years related to avoiding child support. He says it's not important whether those phone threats may be viewed by anyone as credible and to what degree; he says it's only important that threats have been made.

My questions were:

1. Proof of abusive spouse's status

2. Proof of un-dissolved marriage

3. Choice of claim

He says:

1. Nothing can be submitted but her Asylum letter. Officer can punch her status in seconds

2. All I need to state is that I'm not aware of any marriage dissolution, and produce Marriage Certificate. Impossible for me to submit proof of a negative.

3. He says to claim only physical abuse of me. He says if physical or mental abuse of citizen children is claimed, then it's a separate VAWA case - and he sees no need to file a second case.

He says only my Affidavit will point totality of spouse's M.O. re: myself, children, my elderly mother who was visiting to help with the children and then was granted order of protection by Family Court. No children medical file will be included. He says it's good that I have active ACS preventive case in spouse's name, showing both ACS's and my concerns.

No urgent need for divorce filing, termination of Mother's rights filing, amended Birth Certificates. I couldn't get pro-bono attorney for any of those matters, as no one is willing to handle a case where Respondent can't be served

[Sandra G. 5,047]

You will get an RFE to show bonafide marriage just the children birth certificate wont be enough.You must show some commingling finances .I am concern about your lawyer because what he said regarding the pictures is #######. OF COURSE VAWA UNIT WILL CONSIDER pictures of any physical abuse.They get annoyed with people sending 1000 of documents not related with the abuse suffered. He is wrong again providing information that an individual must file separated vawa for each children abused .I filed several vawa cases and i included the abused childrens names using the same petition that i submitted on behalf of the mothers and all of them were approved. YOU don't have to explain anything after she left the house in your affidavit.

[SingleDad2usc 71]

thanx for timely advice Sandra,

1. I'll press him to include all pictures. It really is not clear why NOT include pictures of the wedding day (there where 3 ceremonies in 3 different places: the City Hall, the wedding reception at a restaurant, and a temple ceremony next morning with a second marriage certificate issued). Pictures of vacations taken together. I think he objected mainly to pictures of bruises on children, as the explanations would be lengthy - and he didn't want to send in the entire ACS file. He said electronic file can't be submitted, and paper file is too volumenous. He said just some selective important pages (out of those volumes) would be sent.

2. I really don't have any records of comingling finances saved from 9 years ago. There are only print-outs of spouse's budget letter, showing household composition that included her as the beneficiary, children and me listed in the household but ineligible alien. All ACS investigations and visits describe us living together at one address, and then living together at the next address. ACS worker describes the apartment, including " Mr&Mrs share bed". Describes interviews "Mr&Mrs appear to have good relationship. They appear to love each other". Description from visits with child in temporary ACS custody: "Both parents appear to love their daughter, they dower her with effection". But then after the second birth and second removal: "Birth Mother is not a resource. BM does not use her supervised visits, and is not participating in planning" "BF is sole resource. BF has visits twice a week, unsupervised. BF participates actively in planning".

3. your point about singular petition is important. I think that given graphic police report that had "weapon" marked and spouse's conviction of 120.00 - the attorney didn't feel that my petition should involve children. Proving children's physical abuse and children mental abuse would require much more work. I do have pictures of bruises, I do have current reports from Jr's psychiatrist and psychologist, Jr's psychiatric medications were just increased - but, alas, ACS simply withdrew their case against absent mother, so there is no hard tie-in. Only 3 neglect cases found "indicated" by ACS; but because we were both parents and living together during "neglect" - maybe the attorney doesn't want to complicate the picture. This makes an appearance that we were both at fault - but that later I stepped up, and the mother just abdicated. It would take a lot of explanation of how it were only her actions that led ACS to remove the children. The ACS removed children based on two simultaneous claims of the mother: a) that she doesn't want the children; b) that there is Domestic Violence in the house. All of her false accusations were later taken back and dismissed - but the mad drama played out for almost two years, and takes too much explaining. I tried to explain in the Affidavit that my priority was always to keep the family intact, and that I've submitted to parental training, marriage counseling and even anger management - although no one required that one. But all of this explaining may produce appearance that I was never distancing from the Abuser. And that I even didn't want to let her leave; then I accepted her back into the house even after her guilty plea, and full order of protection granted to me. It really gets messy; I think the attorney doesn't want to work on long complicated explanations. Really, what for: there is conviction of Assault.

He granted me two more appointments: on 12/17 to finish up the Affidavit, and on 12/20 to add Good Conduct Certificate to the ready envelope and send it. I'd love to know: how does the parcel to Vermont usually look. I can't unrestand how the Officer reading the Affidavit gets (physically) directed to particular lines in the evidence submitted. Attorney says: "It's up to the Officer to find those lines" - but I can't imagine how the Officer would. Even I, who knows the case all too well - can't easily find my way thru all text in so many evidentiary papers. How does the Affidavit gets sent in with no directions??

[purplepenguins 88]

SD: I stumbled upon your dilemma, and I was so intrigued yet simultaneously incredulous that I read through all your threads. I really have to say that I think your manipulation is rather shameful. You seem very well educated, but you make statements that are either blatantly false (Canada is too cold for my children, but NYC is fine) or deceitful (I have no idea where my wife is, can't figure out if I'm divorced or not, yet out of all the billions of photos online I have found smutty photos of her on the internet and seen her around on the train). You refuse to discuss your own citizenship, yet you reference your mother being in the states and having an Order of Protection against your (ex?) wife. What?? She jumped ship from Canada too?

I worked for a DV program and translated for our staff attorney as the only bilingual staff member who does pro bono work for VAWA, U, and T visas. I saw victims of abuse who wanted to use these options for immigration relief to get out of a dangerous situation and away from their controlling abuser. You got out! You've been fine for nearly a decade

Furthermore, these people I translated for do not have the many privileges you have. I read your delight in paraphrased comments like "I'm a white Canadian passport holder. I won't get racially profiled and pulled over for driving w/o a license. I went to the DMV and tried to trick them into saying Canadians don't have an I-94. I wooed the woman at the counter with chocolates so she'd fraudulently renew my drivers license". The clients for which my former employer advocated don't have these LUXURIES and PRIVILEGES. They are undocumented, unable to speak the language, and truly living in the shadows...yet...they have documents. Lots of them. Every pay stub, lease, phone bill, encounter with the police. You conveniently have ACS reports, which you quote word for word, from this time period....but NO evidence of commingling of resources from 9 years ago. Are you not aware of the possibility of calling creditors, utilities, housing, anything with which you interacted to get old records? Perhaps the real story is there ARE no evidences.

Same with the marriage certificate. You need an official, certified copy. Period. Not a photocopy. Not a story about a ripped up copy. These are the rules that everyone plays by. Why are you exempt? I just read so much arrogance in your posts, and I think its really sad. I pray justice will prevail in your case.

Finally, on a side note, I'm a Court Appointed Special Advocate in cases of child abuse and neglect. I work nearly exclusively with Latino families, and I can attest to many cases where an undocumented parent is deported, their rights terminated, and the children are put in foster care or adopted. I remember you went on and on about this...saying "how many of the deported 46,000 parents of USC children were single parents? Good parents? Lived in NYC?" It was inane. MANY are single parents and good parents. If you utilize your intelligence and do a simple Google search, you can find evidence of this. Some cases recently have even been in national news.

Edited December 13, 2012 by purplepenguins