Do you spoil him?

[mybackpages 0]

Hello, people. We seem to be going for a closed thread record on this board. As the OP, I would not like to see this thread closed. Could we please calm down, please?!

Sorry szsz for my participating in the hijacking....okay now i am back on topic

[Veiled Princess 1]

Hello, people. We seem to be going for a closed thread record on this board. As the OP, I would not like to see this thread closed. Could we please calm down, please?!

I'm sorry... you of all people should know I'm not one to remain silent when I feel attacked

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I know several women in their 50s and 60s living with 19-25 year old men in Morocco. One couple is married, the rest are living together or have an "arrangement." She gives him a car, cash, a nice place to live, electronics, etc. He gives her, well.... sexual companionship. It is very very common. It is also common with older Western men and young Moroccan women.

By the way, many of these women know exactly what is going on and do not pretend that it is love. Most of them have no intention of marrying, but several do get swept up in it. I know a professional in her 50's who just decided to marry her 22 year old lover, even though she knew it was ridiculous. She told me that she was happy and didn't care how long it lasted. I know another 50-something British woman who met a 25 year old desert guide and promptly "fell in love." Now she sends him money every week to support his family and even his sister's medical bills. This woman has a "glow" now and is happy. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose. But, hey - it makes her happy!

We have a name for this in darija, but it is not very nice so I will refrain.

I'm 53, my husband is 32. Why is it ridiculous when an older woman marries a younger man, but not when an older man marries a younger woman? Are we all either fooling ourselves or ignorant?

I speak daija too.

I still stand by the logic that words are powerful and until we can become sensitive to the use of words we will never learn to communicate effectively. Conflict resolution (be it a disute betwen friends or a international dispute) begins with listening and effective language. I don't call that PC

Words and logic are my work. I am very sensitive to them both. However, because I am, I'm very aware that they are often ineffectively used here and responded to in an emotionally pc manner. That is why there is so much conflict on the threads. Too much pc.

I don't think this is merely an emotional PC response. There is quite a bit of hypocrisy in that within this forum people repeatedly discuss how they are hurt/angered/upset by the (perceived) discrimination their spouses receive and/or the things friends/family/co-workers have said about their relationships. They have no tolerance for other's ineffective or inappropriate use of words, yet throw around equally loaded words and say equally charged things.

I have my own ideas about this, but I have kept them to myself out of a wish to refrain from tiresome fighting everytime I post. Let's just say, I think you have a point.

Edited October 27, 2006 by szsz

[deeshla 0]

Uh, I said that she (the woman I know) said it was ridiculous, not that it is ridiculous for everyone. By the way, I am all for a older man marrying a younger man (see what you wrote below), as long as we are not talking NAMBLA-style.

And, mabrouk 3lik on speaking Darija, woo-boy that is a fun language.

I know several women in their 50s and 60s living with 19-25 year old men in Morocco. One couple is married, the rest are living together or have an "arrangement." She gives him a car, cash, a nice place to live, electronics, etc. He gives her, well.... sexual companionship. It is very very common. It is also common with older Western men and young Moroccan women.

By the way, many of these women know exactly what is going on and do not pretend that it is love. Most of them have no intention of marrying, but several do get swept up in it. I know a professional in her 50's who just decided to marry her 22 year old lover, even though she knew it was ridiculous. She told me that she was happy and didn't care how long it lasted. I know another 50-something British woman who met a 25 year old desert guide and promptly "fell in love." Now she sends him money every week to support his family and even his sister's medical bills. This woman has a "glow" now and is happy. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose. But, hey - it makes her happy!

We have a name for this in darija, but it is not very nice so I will refrain.

I'm 53, my husband is 32. Why is it ridiculous when an older woman marries a younger man, but not when an older man marries a younger woman? Are we all either fooling ourselves or ignorant?

I speak daija too.

I still stand by the logic that words are powerful and until we can become sensitive to the use of words we will never learn to communicate effectively. Conflict resolution (be it a disute betwen friends or a international dispute) begins with listening and effective language. I don't call that PC

Words and logic are my work. I am very sensitive to them both. However, because I am, I'm very aware that they are often ineffectively used here and responded to in an emotionally pc manner. That is why there is so much conflict on the threads. Too much pc.

I don't think this is merely an emotional PC response. There is quite a bit of hypocrisy in that within this forum people repeatedly discuss how they are hurt/angered/upset by the (perceived) discrimination their spouses receive and/or the things friends/family/co-workers have said about their relationships. They have no tolerance for other's ineffective or inappropriate use of words, yet throw around equally loaded words and say equally charged things.

I have my own ideas about this, but I have kept them to myself out of a wish to refrain from tiresome fighting everytime I post. Let's just say, I think you have a point.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Uh, I said that she (the woman I know) said it was ridiculous, not that it is ridiculous for everyone. By the way, I am all for a older man marrying a younger man (see what you wrote below), as long as we are not talking NAMBLA-style.

Ok. Thanks for the clarification.

And, mabrouk 3lik on speaking Darija, woo-boy that is a fun language.

I grew up between Agadir and Virginia.

[honeyblonde 0]

Oh heck, how did I forget to comment on the word "Ghetto"? My son had a lot of friends in high school from much better neighborhoods than ours and one of them used to say that his father was scared whenever he brought him to our house for the weekend. It took forever for his parents to even allow him to come to our house. Whenever he did come over he said he was spending the weekend in the "ghetto" and we didn't take it as a huge insult. We knew his father was just ignorant. Heck, the kid had known he was gay since he was about 11 and his parents pretended they didn't know. At least in our "ghetto" he could be himself and not have to lie about who he was.

My neighborhood is about 3/5 black, and I like it that way. Most of the black people are older couples or families, just like mine, who were thrilled to finally be able to buy a house and get out of apartments. Ironically, it's usually the white people I don't like in the neighborhood - the racists, or the developers who buy rental property and then bring the drug addicts and dealers in as renters. I don't see this as a race thing as much as a class thing, and like somebody else said, class has nothing to do with money but much more to do with how a person handles themself. If the racists in our town see our neighborhood as the ghetto, that's fine by me - it keeps them out. I feel incredibly lucky to have found a low-income neighborhood that is quiet and pretty safe where I can live close to work and spend money making my house look like I want it to instead of paying a fortune to live in "the right" neighborhood. If you want to call my neighborhood "the ghetto", feel free. That's your choice. When anybody asks my sons where they live now, they always answer, "the ghetto". It just stuck after my youngest son's friend's dad called it that.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

[Veiled Princess 1]

I am all for a older man marrying a younger man

[sarah and hicham 3]

If that was my dogs I don't think I could get to the camera fast enough to take a picture before all of those were gone.

[honeyblonde 0]

I just realized those were cheetos! I thought they were carrots and was going to ask how you got your cat interested in baby carrots. That picture is adorable!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I am all for a older man marrying a younger man

I edited that to read "younger woman". You guys need to give me an extra 30 seconds minimum to correct my typos after I post before you capture my quotes

[Veiled Princess 1]

If you want to call my neighborhood "the ghetto", feel free. That's your choice. When anybody asks my sons where they live now, they always answer, "the ghetto". It just stuck after my youngest son's friend's dad called it that.

and you see... I could understand if you were upset because I called your neighborhood the ghetto or if I said anyone in here lived in the ghetto but I didn't. I was commenting on a place I have lived.

I get all this mess thrown at me about a slang word I used but no one seems to mind all the personal insults that got slung at me because of it...

I swear sometimes I think I'm in the zoo when I come here.

ETA: And I live in the ghetto today as well... not because I choose to but because we can't afford anything else. It's a nice neighborhood and all the families and kids are great. We're happy there and not ashamed of it. We don't feel like we're too good to be there or we wouldn't be... that doesn't change the fact that it's considered the ghetto.

Edited October 27, 2006 by Veiled Princess

[jordanianprincess 0]

I thought not long ago VP and JP & Sarah said they were all actually friends....? (Well JP and Sarah do not fight with eachother, I mean with VP)

Either way...I don't act like this with my "friends". I wouldn't be their friend anymore if that's how it was every time I saw them. I'd avoid them. I don't get it.

I don't know how I got dragged into this as I have been in a meeting this whole time. Anyway, I am not the kind of person that holds grudges or stays mad. When Sarah first joined her and I used to fight all the time and now we are friends. VP knows how I feel about her and Sarah knows I am friends with VP.

I don't see why any of this matters anyway. If I disagree with what someone has to say then I will say regardless if we are friends or not. I don't agree with alot of what VP says or her beliefs but I do respect her as a person for having the courage to deal with everyones remarks to her everyday ALL DAY. I like everyone, EVERYONE. There are plenty of people I have disagreed with or got in arguements with that I am friends with.

[Veiled Princess 1]

I don't know how I got dragged into this as I have been in a meeting this whole time. Anyway, I am not the kind of person that holds grudges or stays mad. When Sarah first joined her and I used to fight all the time and now we are friends. VP knows how I feel about her and Sarah knows I am friends with VP.

I don't see why any of this matters anyway. If I disagree with what someone has to say then I will say regardless if we are friends or not. I don't agree with alot of what VP says or her beliefs but I do respect her as a person for having the courage to deal with everyones remarks to her everyday ALL DAY. I like everyone, EVERYONE. There are plenty of people I have disagreed with or got in arguements with that I am friends with.

I don't know how you got in it either.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I get all this mess thrown at me about a slang word I used but no one seems to mind all the personal insults that got slung at me because of it...

I swear sometimes I think I'm in the zoo when I come here.

I couldn't believe I was taking up for you. I'm going to ask for credit, please.