Do you spoil him?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Ghetto is a word originally used to distinquish enclaves where Italian Jews lived. They were white.

[Henia 11]

I brought two sweat shirts with me to Egypt for him because that is all he wanted. He brought me a beautiful ring, several abayas, a traditional dress from his culture, MANY hijabs and a lot of Italian chocolate . He also bought many gifts in Egypt for me and my family back home.

Since returning home I have not sent him any money or gifts... I don't have the money for that and he knew that when we met... he has pretty much supported me since I've returned, having sent me money more than occasionally and care packages with gifts for me and my kids often.

He has a good job and any type of 'gadget' that he wants, he's able to buy for himself. He's actually scared to leave there to come here because he knows his quality of life (financially) will be less than he has now when he's here. I'm lucky he loves me enough to come here and stick it out with me until my kids are old enough to either decide they want to go home with us or can take care of themselves when I'm gone home.

I pretty much agree with Layla on this here. My husband has most all he could ever need right now: great job, house, car, gadgets...and I think if he ever came to the USA he would sadly be surprised how much he couldn't have. Also same as Layla, I am not rich...but elhamdullah not poor either. But as Mooody stated in earlier post in my world women usually donnot buy their men gifts, esp before marriage.

Before coming here, I asked him what I could bring him...of course he said nothing. I bought him some things anyway. A University of Michigan t-shirt (hmmm that seems to a be trend here on VJ ..university shirts LOL) and a nice dress shirt I found at Marshall Field's just so I would not go empty handed and look like a cheap skate...I bought also for his 3 aunts gifts of chocolate,diabetic cookies, and nice picture frame to put our wedding pic in...He appreciated this more then his own gifts.

Um, well when I arrived he took me shopping for "home"abayas, of course my mahr and some other things too...

[Bosco 1]

Count me in as one of those people. It always shocks me when advantaged white people use this word to describe their conditions. Look at the definition: "A section of a city occupied by a minority group who live there especially because of social, economic, or legal pressure". Does it really fit?

A white person, even a poor white person, who finds themselves in a situation living in a neighborhood they find undesirable, has power to get out, especially when the only thing holding them there is a sports car.

First of all, my ex husband is not white.

Secondly "ghetto" is a slang term used a lot. If you take offense to it that's your business.. I don't and I use it and hear it used a lot.

I also don't think a person's race has anything to do with whether they live in a particular neighborhood or not. The place I was referring to in my post was a trailor park... my husband was the only "person of color" in the whole park. I am the only "white" person on the street I live in now. It doesn't make a difference to us. The first key to getting past racism is seeing past the races

Camel jockey is a slang word too VP. Would you like someone to use it for your new husband? You are implying that I am racist, and the definition is racist, although history proves you wrong. In your circumstance, your husband's race is irrelevant because by your own admission, he "chose" to go live there. Therefore, neither you or he have ANY background to call upon to use these words to describe your circumstances as they are properly defined in the current lexicon. I think it is flippin arrogant to call up a word that most recently referred to black neighborhoods that were legally and socially forced due to Jim Crow to describe circumstances you or he have taken on BY CHOICE.

Edited October 27, 2006 by Bosco

[peezey 0]

The point is not the derivation of the word or the original use of the word, but it's current use in the US. Furthermore, ethnic groups are not only defined by the color of one's skin. Jews are an ethnic group.

Ghetto is a word originally used to distinquish enclaves where Italian Jews lived. They were white.

[mybackpages 0]

The point is not the derivation of the word or the original use of the word, but it's current use in the US. Furthermore, ethnic groups are not only defined by the color of one's skin. Jews are an ethnic group.

Actually Jews are a religious group. There are Arab Jews, European Jews, etc...

[peezey 0]

Actually, Jews are considered an ethno-religious group. This is widely known and not really up for argument in the sociology/antropology/religous study world. You can belong to more than one ethnic group. However, if you go back to Rebecca's original suggestion that we read the definition of the word ghetto, you would find this

"A ghetto is an area where people from a specific racial or ethnic background or united in a given culture or religion live as a group, voluntarily or involuntarily, in milder or stricter seclusion."

The point is not the derivation of the word or the original use of the word, but it's current use in the US. Furthermore, ethnic groups are not only defined by the color of one's skin. Jews are an ethnic group.

Actually Jews are a religious group. There are Arab Jews, European Jews, etc...

[morocco4ever 63]

I have always thought the same exact thing... my ex was big into material things - mostly cars... we lived in the freaking ghetto so he could drive a trans am

From Wiki

Some people in the U.S. and Europe strongly dislike the term ghetto, believing to have racist, elitist and culturally insensitive overtones, and the mention of such a word to describe a working-class ethnic community is considered a generalization or an insult. Many social workers and community leaders suggest alternative words to describe these areas like Inner city and economically disadvantaged areas

Count me in as one of those people. It always shocks me when advantaged white people use this word to describe their conditions. Look at the definition: "A section of a city occupied by a minority group who live there especially because of social, economic, or legal pressure". Does it really fit?

A white person, even a poor white person, who finds themselves in a situation living in a neighborhood they find undesirable, has power to get out, especially when the only thing holding them there is a sports car.

First off, how do you know that VP is an advantaged white person? I don't know anything at all about her. Second, what makes you think that a white person, even poor, always has power to get out? I don't know of any "get out of this life free if you are white" cards. I have seen both poor and advantaged of both the black and white race.

Second, to be honest, I have always viewed trans ams as the prime example of people without class showing off what they DON'T have. I just have never liked those cars. Okay, blast away everyone. I am having a pretty bad day today, so whats one more thing....lol

BTW, my idea of a person with class has nothing to do with their econmical level.

Edited October 27, 2006 by Morocco4ever

[mybackpages 0]

Actually, Jews are considered an ethno-religious group. This is widely known and not really up for argument in the sociology/antropology/religous study world. You can belong to more than one ethnic group. However, if you go back to Rebecca's original suggestion that we read the definition of the word ghetto, you would find this

"A ghetto is an area where people from a specific racial or ethnic background or united in a given culture or religion live as a group, voluntarily or involuntarily, in milder or stricter seclusion."

The point is not the derivation of the word or the original use of the word, but it's current use in the US. Furthermore, ethnic groups are not only defined by the color of one's skin. Jews are an ethnic group.

Actually Jews are a religious group. There are Arab Jews, European Jews, etc...

Looks like I misread your statement and jumped the gun. I agree with this last posting completely.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Actually, Jews are considered an ethno-religious group. This is widely known and not really up for argument in the sociology/antropology/religous study world. You can belong to more than one ethnic group. However, if you go back to Rebecca's original suggestion that we read the definition of the word ghetto, you would find this

"A ghetto is an area where people from a specific racial or ethnic background or united in a given culture or religion live as a group, voluntarily or involuntarily, in milder or stricter seclusion."

And after that sentence, you will find these:

A ghetto is an area where people from a specific racial or ethnic background or united in a given culture or religion live as a group, voluntarily or involuntarily, in milder or stricter seclusion. The word historically referred specifically to the Venetian Ghetto in Venice, Italy, where Jews were required to live; it derives from the Venetian gheto (slag from Latin GLĬTTU[M] cfr. Italian ghetto (slag)), and referred to the area of the Cannaregio sestiere, the site selected for the Ghetto Nuovo where a foundry cooled the slag (campo gheto). It was later applied to neighborhoods in other cities where Jews were required to live. The corresponding German term was Judengasse; in Moroccan Arabic ghettos were called mellah.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghetto

The fact is, the original connotation for ghetto refered to whites, so there is nothing stopping white people from living in ghettos. White people have ethnic groups too.

Edited October 27, 2006 by szsz

[peezey 0]

Actually, Jews are considered an ethno-religious group. This is widely known and not really up for argument in the sociology/antropology/religous study world. You can belong to more than one ethnic group. However, if you go back to Rebecca's original suggestion that we read the definition of the word ghetto, you would find this

"A ghetto is an area where people from a specific racial or ethnic background or united in a given culture or religion live as a group, voluntarily or involuntarily, in milder or stricter seclusion."

The point is not the derivation of the word or the original use of the word, but it's current use in the US. Furthermore, ethnic groups are not only defined by the color of one's skin. Jews are an ethnic group.

Actually Jews are a religious group. There are Arab Jews, European Jews, etc...

Looks like I misread your statement and jumped the gun. I agree with this last posting completely.

Mybackpages, apologies if my response was strong in tone. I think the definition is fine, but we aren't talking about that specifically, although it is an important one.

My problem with the use of the word "ghetto" as a slang way of saying "bad neighborhood" is highly elitist and arrogant. If you live in a particular neighborhood and you use a term that classically means an enclave of a particular minority group and/or an economically disadvantaged group, you are then saying that you are much better than this particular neighborhood and you really don't deserve to live there. If you don't like living there, fine, but don't degrade those who do by making such a separatist and elitist comment.

Before everyone goes nuts, the term "you" isn't referring to anyone specific.

Actually, Jews are considered an ethno-religious group. This is widely known and not really up for argument in the sociology/antropology/religous study world. You can belong to more than one ethnic group. However, if you go back to Rebecca's original suggestion that we read the definition of the word ghetto, you would find this

"A ghetto is an area where people from a specific racial or ethnic background or united in a given culture or religion live as a group, voluntarily or involuntarily, in milder or stricter seclusion."

And after that sentence, you will find these:

A ghetto is an area where people from a specific racial or ethnic background or united in a given culture or religion live as a group, voluntarily or involuntarily, in milder or stricter seclusion. The word historically referred specifically to the Venetian Ghetto in Venice, Italy, where Jews were required to live; it derives from the Venetian gheto (slag from Latin GLĬTTU[M] cfr. Italian ghetto (slag)), and referred to the area of the Cannaregio sestiere, the site selected for the Ghetto Nuovo where a foundry cooled the slag (campo gheto). It was later applied to neighborhoods in other cities where Jews were required to live. The corresponding German term was Judengasse; in Moroccan Arabic ghettos were called mellah.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghetto

The fact is, the original connotation for ghetto refered to whites, so there is nothing stopping white people from living in ghettos. White people have ethnic groups too.

No one is arguing who can or cannot live in a ghetto. It is the derogatory use of the word that is being discussed. Also, we aren't discussing who originally lived in ghettos, but how the word is used today, specifically in the US, specifically as a slang word, specifically to describe something undesirable, in this case, VPs old neighborhood.

[Bosco 1]

I have always thought the same exact thing... my ex was big into material things - mostly cars... we lived in the freaking ghetto so he could drive a trans am

From Wiki

Some people in the U.S. and Europe strongly dislike the term ghetto, believing to have racist, elitist and culturally insensitive overtones, and the mention of such a word to describe a working-class ethnic community is considered a generalization or an insult. Many social workers and community leaders suggest alternative words to describe these areas like Inner city and economically disadvantaged areas

Count me in as one of those people. It always shocks me when advantaged white people use this word to describe their conditions. Look at the definition: "A section of a city occupied by a minority group who live there especially because of social, economic, or legal pressure". Does it really fit?

A white person, even a poor white person, who finds themselves in a situation living in a neighborhood they find undesirable, has power to get out, especially when the only thing holding them there is a sports car.

First off, how do you know that VP is an advantaged white person? I don't know anything at all about her. Second, what makes you think that a white person, even poor, always has power to get out? I don't know of any "get out of this life free if you are white" cards. I have seen both poor and advantaged of both the black and white race.

Second, to be honest, I have always viewed trans ams as the prime example of people without class showing off what they DON'T have. I just have never liked those cars. Okay, blast away everyone. I am having a pretty bad day today, so whats one more thing....lol

BTW, my idea of a person with class has nothing to do with their econmical level.

Yes, white people have historically lived in ghettos, but the offense I take is when people who are not disadvantaged describe neighborhoods that don't meet their standards as ghettoes. VP admitted living there was a choice. Often it is white people throwing around this word to describe "ethnic" neighorhoods they have chosen to live in but do not necessarily like. In this context, it is derogatory. When someone describes something they dislike about their neighborhood as "ghetto" or when they use it to describe it as not meeting their standards, it reeks of arrogance.

I have talked to VP and while she may not be in the elite privileged, she also isn't disadvantaged as I would define it. She is able to feed herself, travel, shop, etc. I would say for the majority of us on VJ who have the time to surf the net, talk to our spouses/fiances in foreign countries, travel, etc, to come even remotely close to labeling ourselves as "disadvantaged" would be erroneous.

Edited October 27, 2006 by Bosco

[sarah and hicham 3]

All I can think about now is the Elvis song about the ghettos.

[zzerous 0]

I'm not talking about merely being sweet to him. My husband is always telling me about foreign women who send their SOs thousands of dollars and all kinds of pricey presents; PCs, Ipods, tvs, you name it. Is this common? Is it a good thing? Just curious. I don't do this and I think my husband is a little jealous of those who are being lavished with material goods.

I think your husband is greedy....realtionships are not built on gifts and giving lots of gifts do not measure love.

[Ban Hammer 13,343]

The point is not the derivation of the word or the original use of the word, but it's current use in the US. Furthermore, ethnic groups are not only defined by the color of one's skin. Jews are an ethnic group.

Actually Jews are a religious group. There are Arab Jews, European Jews, etc...

and let's not forget prune jews, pineapple jews, and so on

[mybackpages 0]

Mybackpages, apologies if my response was strong in tone.

Absolutely not- no apology needed.

The use of ghetto IS an elitist and arrogant term. Words are powerful and too often I think we use them without understanding them. Arguing that the word ghetto means something competely different to you and scratching your head because you can't understand why people might be offended ignores the history of the word and demonstates ignorance of language.

Edited October 27, 2006 by mybackpages