Do you spoil him?

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

I'm always spoiling him. Hehe. I was doing it before we met, when I was in India with him, and now that I am back home. And I will continue to do so once he and I are together again.

Edited October 27, 2006 by Mandi

[Bosco 1]

I'm not talking about merely being sweet to him. My husband is always telling me about foreign women who send their SOs thousands of dollars and all kinds of pricey presents; PCs, Ipods, tvs, you name it. Is this common? Is it a good thing? Just curious. I don't do this and I think my husband is a little jealous of those who are being lavished with material goods.

I think the tariffs on electronics are pretty high; I imagine the guys are also coughing up a decent amount of money to have these things released within Morocco.

[Veiled Princess 1]

I think the tariffs on electronics are pretty high; I imagine the guys are also coughing up a decent amount of money to have these things released within Morocco.

If they get them at all.... I tried to send Yousuf a teddy bear when we first got engaged... it smelled like me and he NEVER got the package... I was like come on! a teddy bear????

[mybackpages 0]

This discussion reminds me of one of my all time favorite books- Peter Menzel's Material World

From the forward (explaining the goal of the book)

In honor of the United Nations-sponsored International Year of the Family in 1994, award-winning photojournalist Peter Menzel brought together 16 of the world's leading photographers to create a visual portrait of life in 30 nations. Material World tackles its wide subject by zooming in, allowing one household to represent an entire nation. Photographers spent one week living with a "statistically average" family in each country, learning about their work, their attitudes toward their possessions, and their hopes for the future. Then a "big picture" shot of the family was taken outside the dwelling, surrounded by all their (many or few) material goods.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

This discussion reminds me of one of my all time favorite books- Peter Menzel's Material World

From the forward (explaining the goal of the book)

In honor of the United Nations-sponsored International Year of the Family in 1994, award-winning photojournalist Peter Menzel brought together 16 of the world's leading photographers to create a visual portrait of life in 30 nations. Material World tackles its wide subject by zooming in, allowing one household to represent an entire nation. Photographers spent one week living with a "statistically average" family in each country, learning about their work, their attitudes toward their possessions, and their hopes for the future. Then a "big picture" shot of the family was taken outside the dwelling, surrounded by all their (many or few) material goods.

I had to look this up after reading your post. His photos are fascinating ! They really make you think.

For others (like me) who had no idea what this was about, here is a website I found that has several pages of his works:

http://www.menzelphoto.com/recent/geomw2001p1.htm

Thanks for sharing this !

[morocco4ever 63]

As far as who spoils who in my relationship, well if my husband had more money he would be the one spoiling me.

What I find funny is the plans my husband has when he gets here. First off he hates my shoes, says they are ugly. He intends on selecting my shoes from now on...we shall see about that.

But what really makes me laugh is that he wants to buy me a mercedes. He says I am the best and I deserve the best...lol The funny thing is that I am not into designer anything, or fancy cars. My personal opinion is that people that HAVE to have all of these things have some sort of insecurity in their lives that they feel the need to overcompensate for. Now I am not saying this for a person that likes an occasional nice item, but feels the need to have the best of everything, and show it off.

Funny thing, the thing that would bring me the most joy is a visa so my husband could be here.

[Sankofa 0]

I'm usually a lurker, but I'm feeling bold today and decided to add my two cents worth... Yes, I guess I do spoil my fiance. But we spoil each other. I bought him an inexpensive laptop this month so we could communicate more effectively and cut down on the outrageous phones bills on my end. (Calling from Italy to a Ghanaian cell phone is not only expensive but highly unreliable!!)

If you look at it in dollars, of course I spend more on him. But when you look at it in terms of the percentage of our incomes, then we probably spend about the same on each other. (If that makes any sense!) When it comes down to it, there's really no price when it comes to true love

Edited October 27, 2006 by Sankofa

[Veiled Princess 1]

My personal opinion is that people that HAVE to have all of these things have some sort of insecurity in their lives that they feel the need to overcompensate for. Now I am not saying this for a person that likes an occasional nice item, but feels the need to have the best of everything, and show it off.

I have always thought the same exact thing... my ex was big into material things - mostly cars... we lived in the freaking ghetto so he could drive a trans am

Funny thing, the thing that would bring me the most joy is a visa so my husband could be here.

Same here

[chris4336 3]

I'm usually a lurker, but I'm feeling bold today and decided to add my two cents worth... Yes, I guess I do spoil my fiance. But we spoil each other. I bought him an inexpensive laptop this month so we could communicate more effectively and cut down on the outrageous phones bills on my end. (Calling from Italy to a Ghanaian cell phone is not only expensive but highly unreliable!!)

If you look at it in dollars, of course I spend more on him. But when you look at it in terms of the percentage of our incomes, then we probably spend about the same on each other. (If that makes any sense!) When it comes down to it, there's really no price when it comes to true love

The laptop is a great idea - I really want to do that for my fiancee - sad thing is with the money we've already spent on the phone we could have already bought one, possibly two, laptops haha.

I completely understand what you are saying about the income - my fiancee does what he can and that has always been enough for me :-)

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I think the tariffs on electronics are pretty high; I imagine the guys are also coughing up a decent amount of money to have these things released within Morocco.

With all the money she sends him, he can afford it.

[Veiled Princess 1]

With all the money she sends him, he can afford it.

Are we talking about a particular person? I thought this was just a general discussion

[Sofiyya 1,687]

No particular person, just a type that has come up in conversations with my husband and some of his friends. It seems that there are foreign women who shower their Arab men with thousands of dollars and tons of gifts. On the "Doubts" thread, I related the story of a family member whose gf sends him buku bucks and expensive gifts that he uses to entertain other women. She's not the only one who feels a need to do this, and the ones I've heard of are mostly European. I'm just wondering about this practice and how common it is.

Edited October 27, 2006 by szsz

[Bosco 1]

I have always thought the same exact thing... my ex was big into material things - mostly cars... we lived in the freaking ghetto so he could drive a trans am

From Wiki

Some people in the U.S. and Europe strongly dislike the term ghetto, believing to have racist, elitist and culturally insensitive overtones, and the mention of such a word to describe a working-class ethnic community is considered a generalization or an insult. Many social workers and community leaders suggest alternative words to describe these areas like Inner city and economically disadvantaged areas

Count me in as one of those people. It always shocks me when advantaged white people use this word to describe their conditions. Look at the definition: "A section of a city occupied by a minority group who live there especially because of social, economic, or legal pressure". Does it really fit?

A white person, even a poor white person, who finds themselves in a situation living in a neighborhood they find undesirable, has power to get out, especially when the only thing holding them there is a sports car.

[mybackpages 0]

This discussion reminds me of one of my all time favorite books- Peter Menzel's Material World

From the forward (explaining the goal of the book)

In honor of the United Nations-sponsored International Year of the Family in 1994, award-winning photojournalist Peter Menzel brought together 16 of the world's leading photographers to create a visual portrait of life in 30 nations. Material World tackles its wide subject by zooming in, allowing one household to represent an entire nation. Photographers spent one week living with a "statistically average" family in each country, learning about their work, their attitudes toward their possessions, and their hopes for the future. Then a "big picture" shot of the family was taken outside the dwelling, surrounded by all their (many or few) material goods.

I had to look this up after reading your post. His photos are fascinating ! They really make you think.

For others (like me) who had no idea what this was about, here is a website I found that has several pages of his works:

http://www.menzelphoto.com/recent/geomw2001p1.htm

Thanks for sharing this !

Thanks for going the extra step and finding this link!

[Veiled Princess 1]

Count me in as one of those people. It always shocks me when advantaged white people use this word to describe their conditions. Look at the definition: "A section of a city occupied by a minority group who live there especially because of social, economic, or legal pressure". Does it really fit?

A white person, even a poor white person, who finds themselves in a situation living in a neighborhood they find undesirable, has power to get out, especially when the only thing holding them there is a sports car.

First of all, my ex husband is not white.

Secondly "ghetto" is a slang term used a lot. If you take offense to it that's your business.. I don't and I use it and hear it used a lot.

I also don't think a person's race has anything to do with whether they live in a particular neighborhood or not. The place I was referring to in my post was a trailor park... my husband was the only "person of color" in the whole park. I am the only "white" person on the street I live in now. It doesn't make a difference to us. The first key to getting past racism is seeing past the races