Do you spoil him?

[sarah and hicham 3]

I don't dislike VP. I can't really explain our relationship but I would say that we both feed off of eachother big time. We know we can rile eachother up. A problem I have had for a while is that I don't stop if someone is annoying me and I don't just give up. In some things it's good and in others it's bad, however it can be entertaining!

VP knows I don't hate her... right? We're bickering buddies.

i've been replaced

never Charles!

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

I don't dislike VP. I can't really explain our relationship but I would say that we both feed off of eachother big time. We know we can rile eachother up. A problem I have had for a while is that I don't stop if someone is annoying me and I don't just give up. In some things it's good and in others it's bad, however it can be entertaining!

VP knows I don't hate her... right? We're bickering buddies.

i've been replaced

never Charles!

[zetku 0]

peace to you all:

i too haven't ever posted in this forum but i wanted to respond to two issues raised on this thread.

as a Black woman currently living in the U.S. i DO think the word "ghetto" is offensive. while Americans seems to habitually attempt to make light of degoratory terms, this language still holds the weight of politically charged and social constructed inequalities, injustices, racial/ethnic hatred, enforced poverty etc that still impact certain "minorities" everyday lives. thus i would refrain from using terms that could offend someone esp in spaces of public discourse such as this, though perhaps in more comfortable spaces such as with friends, where your intentions are obvious, one can be more carefree. it is not about being politically correct or emotional, rather it is about be sensitive and aware of the history of certain terms in their current cultural context.

secondly, i do buy mylove gifts. i sent him a digital camera for his birthday and send him money occassionally. he shares everything with me when i am in Ghana and though i makes grad student wages, i still have more access to money than him. so spoil him, yes, perhaps, but i love to contribute to his happiness and well-being in any way i can. we are not economic equals right now, this i have accept and release any stress related to it, as i chose to be with someone from a post-colonial nation. as a student of sub-saharran African culture i am well aware of the many reasons for this imbalance. when he is here in the States, we both hope that we be on more of equal footing financially. until then, material goods are simply that material and can not express or diminish the huge love we share for each other, we are family afterall, so we do what we can for each other, everytime.

and if by any chance, it is revealed that he is "using" me than so be it. i rather act from a place of love than fear. my generousity will come back to me ten-fold!

p.s. i do enjoy this forum, lots of energy, craziness and affection! happy quick visa journies to you all.

Edited October 30, 2006 by zetku

[Henia 11]

On my drive home I did think of one thing that was a "gift" for my husband. He wants children pretty bad, so I had my tubes untied in February. Of all of the things I could give my husband, a baby would top the list.

O wow awwwwwwwwwwww so sweet Moroccoo4ever!

[Veiled Princess 1]

though perhaps in more comfortable spaces such as with friends, where your intentions are obvious, one can be more carefree.

And that is what this place is supposed to be.

[Henia 11]

We have a name for this in darija, but it is not very nice so I will refrain.

I would know this word too, but as you said deeshla, not nice, so will reframe

[peezey 0]

though perhaps in more comfortable spaces such as with friends, where your intentions are obvious, one can be more carefree.

And that is what this place is supposed to be.

I don't think everyone would agree with you. I am not welcomed as a friend here. We all don't know each other, and we aren't all welcomed here, as you have explicitly stated each time I've chosen to post. I find it terribly patronizing and insulting you have taken zetku's eloquent explanation of her opinion of this and only referred to her comment at the end as the explanation for why you choose to continue to believe you are right in this matter.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Words are often very subjective. I don't get worked up by the use of the work ghetto. Unlike "***", an unambiguously perojorative term, I don't associate it exclusively to the US minority experience. You don't like it, peezy, zetku doesn't like it, for your own reasons. That is your perogative, as it is ours not to be incensed about it.

We can agree to disagree.

[Veiled Princess 1]

I don't think everyone would agree with you. I am not welcomed as a friend here. We all don't know each other, and we aren't all welcomed here, as you have explicitly stated each time I've chosen to post. I find it terribly patronizing and insulting you have taken zetku's eloquent explanation of her opinion of this and only referred to her comment at the end as the explanation for why you choose to continue to believe you are right in this matter.

Who said you're not welcomed?

What do you mean "everytime you post"? I have noticed you once and said something to you because you were bring nasty to me and calling me names.

I certainly never said you weren't welcomed... I consider most people here my friends.... even you

[zetku 0]

Words are often very subjective. I don't get worked up by the use of the work ghetto. Unlike "***", an unambiguously perojorative term, I don't associate it exclusively to the US minority experience. You don't like it, peezy, zetku doesn't like it, for your own reasons. That is your perogative, as it is ours not to be incensed about it.

We can agree to disagree.

wow. i haven't ever posted here, i share that i'm a Black woman, i extend a thoughtful explaination on the politics of an offensive word that absolutely does have racial implications, several of them in fact, and therefore why one should be sensitive to its particular degrading implications, and then one misquotes me and trivalizes my response, and another uses a highly offensive racist term used to systematically to stigmatize and brutalize Black people just to make her point, deflect from her priviledged position and/or condone her sloppy intellectualizing....

whatever the case, peace ladies, this forum is all yours.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Words are often very subjective. I don't get worked up by the use of the work ghetto. Unlike "***", an unambiguously perojorative term, I don't associate it exclusively to the US minority experience. You don't like it, peezy, zetku doesn't like it, for your own reasons. That is your perogative, as it is ours not to be incensed about it.

We can agree to disagree.

wow. i haven't ever posted here, i share that i'm a Black woman, i extend a thoughtful explaination on the politics of an offensive word that absolutely does have racial implications, several of them in fact, and therefore why one should be sensitive to its particular degrading implications, and then one misquotes me and trivalizes my response, and another uses a highly offensive racist term used to systematically to stigmatize and brutalize Black people just to make her point, deflect from her priviledged position and/or condone her sloppy intellectualizing....

whatever the case, peace ladies, this forum is all yours.

You don't know me, zetku. You don't even know what color I am or what my social situation is, so calling me "privileged" is merely a rude red herring you're using to justify your self-righteous outrage. That kind of manipulation doesn't move me at all. I wish you the best, but public discourse is not the place for the overly sensitive.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

[Veiled Princess 1]

wow. i haven't ever posted here, i share that i'm a Black woman, i extend a thoughtful explaination on the politics of an offensive word that absolutely does have racial implications, several of them in fact, and therefore why one should be sensitive to its particular degrading implications, and then one misquotes me and trivalizes my response, and another uses a highly offensive racist term used to systematically to stigmatize and brutalize Black people just to make her point, deflect from her priviledged position and/or condone her sloppy intellectualizing....

whatever the case, peace ladies, this forum is all yours.

I most certainly did not "misquote you". I took it straight from your post. I wasn't trivializing anything either... you said it's different in a setting amongst friends and I was pointing out that on this particular section of this board... that's what it is.

[peezey 0]

wow. i haven't ever posted here, i share that i'm a Black woman, i extend a thoughtful explaination on the politics of an offensive word that absolutely does have racial implications, several of them in fact, and therefore why one should be sensitive to its particular degrading implications, and then one misquotes me and trivalizes my response, and another uses a highly offensive racist term used to systematically to stigmatize and brutalize Black people just to make her point, deflect from her priviledged position and/or condone her sloppy intellectualizing....

whatever the case, peace ladies, this forum is all yours.

I most certainly did not "misquote you". I took it straight from your post. I wasn't trivializing anything either... you said it's different in a setting amongst friends and I was pointing out that on this particular section of this board... that's what it is.

She said in a "more comfortable environment where your intentions are known".....that is not the case here. Just because you know a few people, and consider them friends, you do not know all who read this board and participate here. You most certainly trivialized zetku's response and took what you wanted from it and disregarded everything she had to say on the matter as a person who has personal experience with this particular word/situation.

As for calling you names, I did not call you anything. I said your comments and your continual insistence that using this word is just fine because it's slang were racist. I believe someone can act in a way that is racist, due to misinformation, lack of information or experience, but not be a racist person to the core.

[Veiled Princess 1]

As for calling you names, I did not call you anything. I said your comments and your continual insistence that using this word is just fine because it's slang were racist. I believe someone can act in a way that is racist, due to misinformation, lack of information or experience, but not be a racist person to the core.

You actually said I was racist, ignorant and arrogant.