Do you spoil him?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I'm not talking about merely being sweet to him. My husband is always telling me about foreign women who send their SOs thousands of dollars and all kinds of pricey presents; PCs, Ipods, tvs, you name it. Is this common? Is it a good thing? Just curious. I don't do this and I think my husband is a little jealous of those who are being lavished with material goods.

Edited October 26, 2006 by szsz

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Throughout most of our relationship, I have been a poor college student. And even if I weren't,

I want someone to send me an Ipod (nano, preferably green or maybe pink)

[ya falaha! 0]

I want someone to send me something too!

I have never sent my husband anything besides documents and photos. I brought him a few little gifts when I went to visit..a Detroit Tigers baseball cap, a University of Michigan sweatshirt. He also bought me stuff while I was visiting. I've heard of women sending their men money and gifts...I call them "sugarmamas". It's supposed to be the man who spoils the woman..at least that's how it is in my world.

Edited October 26, 2006 by moody

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I want someone to send me an Ipod (nano, preferably green or maybe pink)

This made me laugh out loud coz I feel the same way too. Thanks!

[UmmSqueakster 54]

I brought him a few little gifts when I went to visit..a Detroit Tigers baseball cap, a University of Michigan sweatshirt.

Small gifts like that are great! The first time I visited my husband, I brought matching long sleeve University of Wisconsin shirts for us and a Wisconsin hat for him. He still wears that hat almost every time he goes out He liked to wear it when he was working in Sharm el Sheik, so that when people asked him about it, he could tell them that his wife goes to school in Wisconsin.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

It's supposed to be the man who spoils the woman..at least that's how it is in my world.

We live in the same world, but I feel like the spendy aliens are closing in

[Together4ever 1]

I haven't lavished. The only thing I guess you consider "lavishing" was that I helped him replace his guitar my first trip to Egypt because his other was smashed by 2 guys in a net cafe one night while he was attempting to play for me and they realized he was talking to an American. I felt a bit responsible and I knew what it meant to him so it seemed fair. Otherwise, we value our time together above anything else.

[Veiled Princess 1]

I brought two sweat shirts with me to Egypt for him because that is all he wanted. He brought me a beautiful ring, several abayas, a traditional dress from his culture, MANY hijabs and a lot of Italian chocolate . He also bought many gifts in Egypt for me and my family back home.

Since returning home I have not sent him any money or gifts... I don't have the money for that and he knew that when we met... he has pretty much supported me since I've returned, having sent me money more than occasionally and care packages with gifts for me and my kids often.

He has a good job and any type of 'gadget' that he wants, he's able to buy for himself. He's actually scared to leave there to come here because he knows his quality of life (financially) will be less than he has now when he's here. I'm lucky he loves me enough to come here and stick it out with me until my kids are old enough to either decide they want to go home with us or can take care of themselves when I'm gone home.

[Aymerlu 3]

Wow! Wish I had thousand of dollars that I could send! I only sent my husband small gifts while he was in Egypt. The most expensive thing I sent to him was an inexpensive CD player. Better not let him see this thread....he'll think he was left out! Besides, a relationship isn't about how much you can spend on someone.

Edited October 26, 2006 by Aymerlu

[morocco4ever 63]

Well, I mailed him a used ps2 once, and took him about 3 hats. Is that lavish??

He has a debit card if he needs it, but he rarely uses it. In fact, the last time he did was probably in May.

I know of a man that has several women he chats with. He asks them for money, and they send it. I am disgusted with it. He even had one woman send him money when he had another woman in Morocco visiting. I just hate to see this. My husband never asked for anything before we married, and what little he asks for now is for basic essentials, nothing else.

On the other hand, he takes what little money he scrapes up and buys me gifts, then sends them with anyone he knows that can mail it to me from the US. Nothing expensive really, just sentimental things.

[ya falaha! 0]

Amy..your little kitty-chick is so cute! It cracks me up everytime

[hollyw 0]

Hmm I guess the most expensive thing I have bought for my husband was when I bought a plane ticket to Paris to surprise him on his birthday last year. Usually we split my airfare. I am still a student, so I can get discounted student fare, and the ticket was only about $300 because I bought it way in advance.

Other than that we always buy little surprises for when we see each other... I have someimes brought him Tshirts or chocolates and whenever I visit I ALWAYS bring a jar of peanut butter and a jar of fluff with me. He's fallen in love with both. Sometimes he was able to find peanut butter in France, but it is sooo expensive and didn't taste like Skippy

And of course for birthdays we buy each other things, usually clothing. We're both students, so we can't do too much damage

ETA: I forgot Red Bull.... loves Red Bull!!!!!! Always bring a pack of that too

Edited October 26, 2006 by hollyw

[sercontigo 1]

I don't think your man should be bringing up what other women do for other men out of stupidity, desperation or foolishness. I really look down on women who buy men with material things and the men who take from these women...just using them.

Your man should view it as shameful and not even mention it to you because its a disgrace. He doesn't need anything beyond the necessities and maybe a few sentimental gestures. He should be grateful to be in the situation he's in...having a loving fiance.

[Jenn! 918]

I know many disagree, but I think it's a double standard to view gifts from men to their SO's as acceptable and gifts from women to their SO's as "sugar momma". JMHO.

That said, I never had money to buy gifts, but if I did I wouldn't hesitate to do as I wished with it.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I don't think your man should be bringing up what other women do for other men out of stupidity, desperation or foolishness. . . . Your man should view it as shameful and not even mention it to you because its a disgrace. He doesn't need anything beyond the necessities and maybe a few sentimental gestures. He should be grateful to be in the situation he's in...having a loving fiance.

No harm in discussing it. It's just another of the curiosities of human interaction that make you go "hmmmm . . ."

I know many disagree, but I think it's a double standard to view gifts from men to their SO's as acceptable and gifts from women to their SO's as "sugar momma". JMHO.

Gifts between couples are no problem. I'm wondering about extravagant gifts that are rather one-sided as to whom is giver and whom is the receiver.

Edited October 26, 2006 by szsz